Chapter 4: Getting Acquainted Part 2: Daytime Dooables

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Birds sing, the branches sway gently in the breeze, the self-same breeze carries the sweet smell of blooming flowers, children play happily in their yards, puffy little clouds float by, the sun shines, and all is decidedly peaceful. Peaceful, that is, until someone (an incredibly brave and suicidal and/or powerful someone) chooses to interrupt the blessed peace.

Steph: Wake Up!

This is then followed by various disgruntled half-grunts (was that a screwy phrase, or what?) followed by five someones realizing the beds aren't as wide here and falling out and one someone smacking his head against a chest'o'drawers. All this is followed by much profanity from the aforementioned parties.

Zel: Ack, that yell ...

Val: That yell could wake the frickin' dead!

Then the aforementioned parties do something they never would have done at home: fall down the stairs. Loudly and with much cussing.

Duo: Forgot about those stairs.

Suboshi: Boy are we stupid.

Val: Who are ya callin' stupid?

Suboshi: Not you, you horny freak.

Val: Move where I can pound ya, Yo-Yo Boy.

Suboshi: Love to, but you're sitting on me.

Zel: Haven't we been here before?

Xel: Not with me. ^_^

Zel: We could do without you, fruitcake.

Duo & Suboshi: ::in unison:: Yeah! This is all your fault!

Xel: ^_^

Just then Steph streaks down the stairs at warp velocity, trips over the pile of bishounen, and falls flat on her face with a thwack.

Steph: Ow.

Zel: That is an understatement.

Steph pries herself off the floor, sniffs the breeze (so to speak) and reaches warp velocity before she even gets up, heading for the kitchen. The bishounen untangle themselves from the floor with much pushin' and shovin' on all parts, and warily follow Steph. Into the dining room. A dining room with food. Well, that answers some questions. And begins yet another round of the dangerous pastime called meals.

Duo: Dibs on the noodles!

Suboshi: You can't dib food!

Duo: Too bad. I just did.

Val: Hey! Watch where yer throwin' that! Have some respect!

Xel: Pass the sauce, please. ^_^

Zel: No I will not pass the sauce, please. Not after you sat there and took all the funky lookin' noodles.

Val: Gimme that! Geez, a fork in you guys hands is a dangerous thing.

Duo: That's my fork!

Suboshi: Yeah, give it back! I get ta use it next.

Zel: Who has the Limo?

Xel: I do. ^_^

Zel: You drank it all! Pig!

Xel: ^_^

Zel: ::sweetly:: Here, lemme share some of my food, Xel.

And so, Zel upends his bowl over Xel, officially giving a high point to the meal in general before finishes his other food. Steph sits through it all, oblivious to the warfare around her.

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Later ... the bishounen have, being a nosey group of harem boys, poked their noses into various drawers and scrounged up a rather battered box of board games. Unfortunately, there are five of them, not four, so they exchange the typical blows over who's not gonna play. Four to one it's the fruit. Steph solves this little dilemma by changing the board from four player to five. For all the uninformed out there, they are playing Menschärgedichnicht (Trouble or Parcheesi). Zel is blue, Xel is black, Duo is red, Val is green, and Suboshi is yellow. They manage to play with minimal trouble, or at least with no major blood spilling, house destroying fights.

Xel: Sixes! Come on, lucky sixes! Come to papa! ^_^

Val: Will ya shut up and roll already!

Xel: Awww. You messed me up, Val-kun, now I have to start all over again. ^_^

Val cusses profusely over nutbags given dice by foolish and/or insane losers who obviously would never have to play with the fruit while Xel finishes his mantra (finally) and rolls. He gets a two (guess it didn't work, huh, Xelly).

Xel: Snake Eyes! Bye-bye Duo! ^_^

Xel smacks Duo's piece off the board and puts his piece there instead. Duo only has one piece out now.

Duo: ::sigh:: My poor lonesome little cowboy.

Someone has been reading too many Lucky Luke books. Xel, as usual, takes this and runs with it.

Xel: ::singing:: Yippie-ki-yi-yay, get along little doggie, it's your misfortune and none of my own ... ^_^

Duo: Suck it up, fruitcake. Just suck it up.

Xel: I am. ^_^

Val smacks Xel.

Val: You are not gonna sing!

Suboshi: Geez, yeah. You could kill a tone-deaf cow at fifty paces.

During this particular dialogue, the dice have circled the board and it is once again Xel's turn. Xel gets a good number, yet again, and smacks Suboshi's piece off the board. Suboshi sticks out his tongue at the ever-smiling-piece-knocking-fruit and also starts singing.

Suboshi: ::singing:: Yippie-ki-yi-yay, get along little loggy --

Xel: ::raises eyebrow:: 'Loggy'? ^_^

Zel comes to Suboshi's rescue.

Zel: They are made of wood, and their kind of fat at the bottom and stubby at the ends.

Zel smacks Duo's piece off the board and then gets in a brief scuffle with Xel over the dice.

Xel: Mine! ^_^

Zel: What are ya talking about?!

Suboshi: Yeah, it's my turn!

Xel: ::pouting:: Oh, fine. ^_^

Suboshi: Yes! Revenge! Wahahahaha.

Suboshi cackles at his good luck and knocks Xel through the loop (so to speak) before passing the dice on. Game goes back to Xel, who gets a six (can you believe the luck?!). Val's turn to roll.

Xel: ::singing:: Yippie-ki-yi-yay, get along little froggy -- ^_^

Val: I told ya not ta sing! ::doubletakes:: 'Froggy'?

Xel: Your hair's green like a froggy, and so are you're little green men. ^_^

Val: Froggy this, ya singin' nutbag! Ha!

Val knocks Xel's little black piece off the board with his little green piece. The game goes on like this for some time (kinda gets boring, don't it). That is, it goes on until Xel wins and dances around the table smiling like a loon. Zel smells something fishy about all this, and picks up the dice, giving it a good once over. Then Zel, who as all know, is the logical deductive one in the group, comes to a brilliant conclusion.

Zel: This dice is rigged!

Xel: ::innocently:: Rigged? Why whatever do you mean? ^_^

Val: ::growling:: Why you --

They jump him. And proceed to pound the ever-lovin' snot out of him. With the game board. Steph takes offense to this and kicks them outside. Then they beat on him some more because of this before finally deciding that Xel's learned a lesson (fat chance) and won't ever do something like that again (yeah right, who are they trying to fool?). Xellos is little more than a vaguely purple splat on the grass with a staff sticking out when they get through with him. The Mazoku, of course, pops himself right back into perfect health the second they stop hitting him, smiling his usual fruitcakey smile.

Xel: Ahhh, Arigato! ^__^

Sproing The others smack themselves in extreme duh while sweatdropping and facefaulting. Then they all fall down (Ring-Around-The-Rosey harem style). Then Val hauls himself up, cussing up a storm.

Val: What the @#)(*$ is this @#)(*$ stuff!?!?

They look. Several red squished blobs have been smooshed into the grass by Val's fall. Zel, as usual, knows exactly what's up.

Zel: They're cherries. This is a cherry tree.

Everyone once more smacks themselves in extreme duh, before circling the tree and picking the yummy little red fruits. Time passes idyllically with everyone stuffing themselves on cherries till they're sick and then complaining loudly about it. Duo and Suboshi hold Val down while putting cherries over his ears, then braiding and putting flowers in his hair. The Horned One tolerates this even though he cusses at intervals just so everyone knows he's not completely pleased with this (yeah right, you keep telling yourself that Valgarv, we know you're giving Zel looks) while Zel watches all this with a smile. Xel commandeers the swing as his own and does exactly what the name implies (swinging, duh) while singing. This, of course, gets him acidic looks and thrown fruit, but the nut continues through all of it (gotta admire his tenacity). Then Steph decides to come out and destroy this semi-peaceful existence.

Steph: Let's go on a walk!

Zel: Why?

Steph gives Zel the look. Zel catches the look but decides to let it fly.

Steph: 'Cause you lumps need more exercise than beating each other up, that's why.

Duo: We don't beat everyone up, --

Suboshi: -- just Xel.

Xel: ::bows:: I am honored by your words. ^_^

Val: ::raises eyebrow:: Truly?

Xel: Truly. ^_^

Val: Fruitcake.

Xel: Yes. ^_^

Zel: He confessed. Let's straightjacket him and cart him to the loony bin. I'll call the paddy wagon.

Suboshi pulls a straightjacket from no where and the four proceed to try and corner Xel. Steph interrupts this particular enterprise with:

Steph: Die spinne die harem.

This causes them to pause in puzzlement.

Suboshi: ::clearly confused:: What?

Zel: It's German. It means "They're crazy the harem".

Xel: thank you for that language dissertation, Professor Zelgadis Greywers. ^_^

Val smacks Xel.

Val: Shut up, fruit! I don't see ya helping!

Xel: And you won't. ^_^

Duo: Suck it up, nutbag. Suck it up.

Xel: I am. ^_^

Steph: Anyway ... let's go. I'm not gonna ask again.

Zel: Whatever.

So Steph leads a semi-reluctant harem on a walk through the fields. Zel and Val walk, mainly 'cause there are only two bikes and Duo and Suboshi called dibs and were willing to fight for it. Facing the Yo-Yos of Doom and the Golden Sickle, the two slayers decide it's not worth the fight, and leave it to the two. Xel floats along, annoying everyone in general (typical) and daring Duo and Suboshi to race or begging for rides. Steph rollerblades, listening to TRY. Xel gets run over a few times by the two Riders of Doom on the bikes, but otherwise all is relatively normal.

The houses give way to the awesome vista of the fields and the path/road running through it. The semi-sunset is glorious on the horizon. This Kodak moment isn't broken, yet, by anything that doesn't belong. Bask in the glory people, this is as mushy as it gets. Xel, Duo, and Suboshi race down the path with Steph hot on their heels and Val and Zel trailing behind. Xel, Duo, and Suboshi reach the highway that bisects the path and stop, daunted.

Duo: See any cars?

Suboshi: No.

Duo: Wanna risk it?

Suboshi: No.

Duo: Well, what do we do?

Suboshi: Why are you asking me? I don't know!

Xel: Well ... ^_^

Duo snaps to an idea.

Duo: Hey, fruit! Why don't you go see if it's safe!

Xel: What?! ^_^

Duo kicks Xel into the road. Xel promptly gets squished by a truck.

Xel: ::from splat on asphalt:: All safe! ^__^

The two cross. Suboshi pulls out a spatula and pries Xel off the asphalt and flips him over.

Suboshi: Ahhh, just right. Gotta turn 'em or they'll stick.

Duo: So true.

Xel plays car bait while the other three cross (have they found his vocation, or what?). Once again, the fic pauses to admire the general view while the harem goes on.

Suboshi: Hey look! A tunnel!

Duo: Yes! Something besides flatness!

Xel: I wanna ride! ^_^

Suboshi: Fine. Only down, though. Okay?

Xel: ::pouts:: Okay. ^_^

So they tag drag the fruit down the tunnel hill. Fun (I speak from personal experience). The nut does all kinds of poses as Steph pulls out a camera to record the moment. Xel gets Zel in headlock and takes him with him. Yet another Kodak moment. Val punts Xel out of the tunnel. Snap Xel pulls an Amelia and they all mob him. Snap They chase him back home through the grand view of the fields. Snap This chase (as any usual harem chase) heads toward home. Past the playground. Steph pulls up short and grabs 'em by the scruff of their necks, pulling them back. Or she would have if they were within reach. As it was, she just reached and grabbed the air, pulling it short. It has the desired effect, though, the whole harem is brought up short and all fall down.

Steph: Let's go to the playground!

Zel: Why?

Steph: 'Cause it's tradition!

Duo: Not our tradition.

Suboshi: Yeah!

Steph: Cope.

Duo & Suboshi: ::in unison:: Drat.

So they explore the whole park before climbing the climbing tree. Ah, bliss. Xel gets to the top and declares his supremacy to all and sundry, annoying the heck out of Duo and Suboshi, who climb up to smack the annoying, loud fruitcake down. Steph positions herself halfway, gets a death grip on the tree, and starts her own little universe (something like that). Val tries to get Zel to come up the tree. No such luck. Xel decides that would be fun and pops into existence next to Val and kicks him out of the tree. Steph then strangles Xel, screaming at him for being an idiot. Xel phases out of the angry miko's grip and punts Duo and Suboshi out of the tree and into the sand, before taking off for home.

Duo & Suboshi: ::in unison:: KILL IT!!!

They chase the fruit (we saw that one coming). They rest follow. And so closes the day. The birds singing, the children playing, the sweet breeze blowing, the sun setting on a cloud studded horizon, and the sounds of a chase moving down the street.

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