Chapter 2: Who Knew?

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Zelgadis stared intently at the show he was watching on TV - Gargoyles, when Xellos and Suboshi run up and dive for the Sega controllers on the floor in front of the TV at the same time.

Xel: Hey, I was here first!

Suboshi: Was not!

Xel: Were too!

Suboshi: Was not!

Xel: Were too!

Suboshi smacks Xel on the head with the controller and Xel retaliates with his own.

Suboshi: Give it up! I'm playing! You go play with something else!

Xel: I don't think so! Fireball!!

Suboshi dodges and retaliates by throwing the remote. Machinery flies as the two battle it out over the video game and Zelgadis continues to watch TV undisturbed. Reaching into the air, Zel catches one of the remotes (the VCR one he realizes as he looks at it) and changes the channel to watch Mighty Max, before bonking both of the fighting bishounen on the head (he has very good reach). Neither of them notice as they continue to fight. Just then Duo walks in holding his hair back. Pausing to stare at the dust cloud with arms and legs he asks Zel:

Duo: Ummm.... What's going on?

Zel: ::shrugs shoulders:: S & X war / Shining Force II.

(loosely translated: Suboshi and Xellos are fighting over who's going to play the Shining Force II game.)

Duo: ::groans:: Again?

Zel nods without looking away from screen. Duo gets frustrated by the chimera's calm composure and decides to do something about it.

Duo: Snap out of it!

Duo smacks Zel upside the head and only succeeds in hurting his hand. He dances about SD'ing from the pain. Zel ignores him and continues to watch TV. Just then a stalemate occurs that puts a temporary pause on the fight. Suboshi had Xel straddled, his hands locked around his neck, while Xel had his staff lodged in Suboshi's mouth (very uncomfortably).

Suboshi: ::around staff:: awats rowng oooo-oh?

Duo: I just hit Zel's hard head and now I hurt!

Suboshi: Aaaaaaahhh, emeh eeee awat e ahn ooo.

Duo: Okay, but aren't you busy?

Suboshi squeezes Xel's neck once more before letting go, and delicately removes the staff from his trachea.

Suboshi: Not anymore.

The two head out of the TV room, as they discuss ::something::. Xel gets up from the floor and looks at the TV watching Zel and decides to have some fun. Following Duo's example, he bonks Zel on the head with his staff. Getting no reaction and finding out that the sound that of his staff hitting Zel is actually kind of nice, he happily continues.

Xel: Boingy, boingy, boingy!!!

Zel: I'll kill you after Mighty Max, you idiotic fruitcake.

Xel: Come to Zel! Wake up, Statue Boy! Rouse, oh Stone One! Revive, Blue and Rocky! Return to the land of the living, Flesh Impaired!

Just then, Mighty Max ends and Zel introduces Xel's face to his fist. Giggling floats from the back of the temple to the two. Zel and Xel share a glance around Zel's fist. Leaving the priest alone, Zel gets up from the couch, dodges around the mangled machinery in front of the TV, and considers seeing what's up.

Zel: I bet it's Suboshi and Duo. Let's go look.

Xel: Hentia! ^_^

Punt! Zel smacks Xel into orbit, too bad he hit the ceiling and ricoched back to the floor, landing with a thud and SD'ing.

Xel: ::from heap made of his rearranged body parts:: Have you forgotten that Mazoku like pain. ^_^

Zel: Doh!

Zel steps on the SD'ed Xel before helping him up. (he has too much fun mangling the priestly fruitcake to actually take the pain factor into consideration)

Zel: Oops! What did you say? Zel, please kill me?

Xel gives Zel a look before dragging him toward the giggles.

Xel: Let's go look. ^_^

Zel: Now who's the hentai?

Xel rolls eyes before yanking Zel close and fluttering his eyelashes.

Xel: Or we could always stay here and have our own fun. ^_^ ::breathlessly suggestive:: You can see just how hentai I can be. ^_~

Zel looks at priest for a split second before SD'ing and running around the room screaming:

Zel: Get it Off! Get it Off! Ahhhhhhh!!! KEEP AWAY!!!!

Zel finally succeeds in shaking Xel off and is about to run to Steph and beg for a lock on his door and Mazoku repellent when Xel grabs his cape, yanking him back and slapping a hand over his mouth.

Xel: I'll be good if we can just go see what they're doing. ^_^

Zel nods.

Zel: ::around Xel's hand:: hokay, hokay, et's ook!

Xel sighs happily and snuggles close.

Xel: It's just that you're sooo warm! ^_^

Zel screams and runs toward the giggles, dragging Xel along the ground behind him by Xel's grip on his cape. Zel rounds the corner and skids to a halt when he sees what room the giggles are coming from. Xellos's. Still the dragging the priest with his cape, he pushes the door open carefully and looks inside. Duo and Suboshi are laughing over a box -- correction, a shrine -- that contains pictures of, could it be?, Valgarv and Zelgadis???!!!

Suboshi: I didn't know Zel was ever in drag.

Zel SD's and falls down and does that twitchy thing. Xel gets up from floor (recovered after being dragged who knows how far by a super strong, super fast, hysterical chimera) and steps into room. He looks round and sees Duo and Suboshi looking at his shrine. The shrine with the mutilated pictures of Val and Zel. The two culprits glance up and gulp.

Duo & Suboshi: ::in unison:: Oops!!! Teehehe.

Xel: Get out of my room. ^_^

Duo: Ummmmm....

Xel: Source of all power, crimson fire burning bright ...

Duo and Suboshi leave the room so fast they leave a dust cloud. Xel smirks slightly (wait a minute, he's always smiling) and after fixing up his shrine, hides it with a concealment spell.

Xel: Now they'll never find it. ^_^

Xel glances down at still twitching Zel and ^_^. Getting an especially evil look, he drags Zel into his room and darts to the closet.

Duo and Suboshi laugh as they wander back to the TV room.

Duo: ::gasping:: I can't believe it.... Zel in drag!

Suboshi: ::also gasping:: Or Val in those tights! Where does he find that stuff?!

They share shrugs before pushing the mangled machinery out of the way and turning on Shining Force II.

Duo: I'm Sasin!

Suboshi: No! I am!

Duo: Are not!

Suboshi: Are too!

Duo: Are NOT!

Suboshi and Duo have it out over the video game, per usual (sigh). Suddenly Zel runs into the room screaming. The two look up from their fight to see a hysterical Zel in (could it be?) the blue dress from the pictures in Xel's room. Diving for Duo and Suboshi, Zel grabs them around the legs and shouts:

Zel: Put Me OUT of My MISERY!!!

Xel runs from back of Temple and dive bombs Zel.

Zel: Will Someone PLEASE KILL ME!!!!

Xel: ::looking up and ^_^:: Isn't he cute?

Zel: Will SOMEONE END My PAIN???!!!!

Duo: ::dumbfounded:: Actually.... He is.

Zel: You hentai fruitcakes!!! I'm in DRAG!!!

Xel: Duh. ^_~

Suboshi: But you're so cute in drag!

Zel: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Zel SD's and jumps up, trying to shake Xel off.

Duo: Where did you find that? ::Points at dress::

Xel: I keep it around for just such occasions. ^_~

Duo and Suboshi facefault. Zel succeeds in getting rid of Xel (finally) and attempts to run, but Xel has a grip on the cape thingy at the back of the dress. Suboshi whips out camera from no where.

Suboshi: I'd say that this is a Kodak Moment!

Zel: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Xel smiles (still) and gets Zel in a headlock while Suboshi takes picture.

Duo: ::smiling evilly:: Wahahaha! Evidence! Now we can have the TV whenever we want!

Duo, Suboshi, and Xellos give each other high fives, laughing. Zel suddenly snaps to what's going on.

Zel: !!!!! Why you ... ::sputters::

Smoke streams from Zel's ears as he pushes the dress sleeves back and raises hands, power gathering at his fingertips.

Zel: You who aren't going to be in this world very long ...

Duo: Ummmmm..... what's he doing?

Zel: Hentai, twisted fruitcakes ...

Xel: Sounds like Megiddo Flare. ^_^

Zel: By the Purity of the Light I'm gonna use ...

Suboshi: Maybe we should run.

Zel: I say you're gonna pay dearly and painfully ...

Xel: That would be a good idea. ^_^

Zel: Really Ticked OFF Chimera Flare!

Xellos, Duo, and Suboshi leave dust cloud as they run away (leaving behind picture -- oops!) just as Zel finishes the spell and blows up the Temple. Steph is not going to be pleased.

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