It's Xellos and Filia, only vaguely citrussy (a surprise, coming from me, ne?) and the format requires a bit of explanation. At various points throughout the fic, it changes viewpoint from Filia to Xellos, and the previous events are revisited from his perspective. This is indicated by the song verses, so it is very important, in order to avoid confusion, that you don't simply skim over them.
Filia's verses are blue
Xellos' verses are purple
I Could Fall In Love by Selena
I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
Filia is humming softly to herself, getting ready for bed. She slips into her nightgown and sits at her vanity, brushing her hair out its hundred strokes before braiding it for sleep. Her mind wanders as she mulls over the events of the day in her head...just a normal day, nothing exciting or strange...well, except for little Val deciding that wet clay would be the perfect thing to put in his hair... She laughs softly.
"He is a bit of a wild child sometimes."
She has just finished brushing her hair and is about to start braiding it when another pair of hands takes over for her.
"Here, allow me." Xellos offers as he starts to braid her hair. Filia steels herself not to spin around to look at him, staring at his reflection in her mirror instead.
"Xellos, what are you doing here?" she asks in the calmest voice she can muster.
"Oh, nothing in particular, just checking in to see how you and the little one are doing." Xellos answers cheerfully as he slowly braids her golden mane of hair.
Filia sighs and almost smiles.
"We're fine Xellos, so why don't you leave. Why do you bother coming anyway?"
"Now that is a secret." he grins, watching her expression in the mirror, "Besides, I can't leave yet, I have to finish braiding your hair." he says as he gently twines the strands around his fingers. "Is Val behaving himself?" he asks in a conversational tone as he slowly continues to braid her hair.
Filia relaxes slightly...Val is a safe topic...after all, Xellos has been ordered to keep an eye on him, so it's easier for her to just answer his questions about her ward. She laughs a little.
"Val is fine...a bit of a hellion sometimes, but what two-year-old isn't, Dragon or human?"
Xellos grins. "What did he do today?"
"Tried to style his hair with wet clay."
He chuckles. "I can imagine the resulting bath rather made him rethink that idea." he says. His face goes serious. "You know, what he really needs is a father-figure..."
Filia growls angrily. "What would a Namagomi like you know about child-rearing...and just how is my personal life your business?" She tries not to blush as she remembers thinking the same exact thing as she was hauling the complaining young dragon to his bath...and picturing her present companion in that role...after all, it would never...could never be...
"After all, you made a promise, didn't you?" he says, "There...all done." He ties a ribbon onto the bottom of the braid and lets the thick plait of hair drop against her back.
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay
Why did he have to bring up THAT topic anyway...that isn't a safe topic... Filia takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, counting slowly to ten in her head and hoping he'll be gone when she turns around. No such luck, he's sitting on the bed, leaning back against the wall with his legs stretched out. Taking care of an infant has taught Filia restraint and self-control, and that is the only thing which keeps her from rushing over and trying to physically throw him off the bed...that and the tiny feeling which has been growing for awhile now which tells her that fighting like this is silly, that there is no reason for it and things would be better if they got along...if they were together... She shakes her head to clear it and glares at him.
"Okay, you've finished braiding my hair, why don't you just go now." she says firmly.
Xellos meets her glare with his own calm, open-eyed gaze, and there's something in it she doesn't recognise, which a part of her refuses to recognise.
"Is there really any hurry for me to leave? I might not be able to drop in like this soon. The world's changing, Filia, no matter how much we might not want it to, and I have obligations..."
Filia takes this in with a stunned kind of silence. He might not be able to drop in like this? The thought should make her ecstatic, but instead, it just makes her faintly sad... The world is changing indeed, and she along with it, and a part of her resents that, longs for the freedom she had briefly tasted as a part of Lina's group of misfit adventurers. She knows so little of what is happening now, her days are kept busy with Val and the shop, and her nights spent in deep, almost dreamless sleep, induced by the combination of physical exhaustion and mental discipline. She really doesn't want to spend her precious hours of sleep dwelling on the life she knows will never be hers again. Xellos has become her only real contact with the others. Oh, she knows that Gourry has finally settled down; she had been at his wedding to Sylphiel, after all; and she gets frequent letters from Amelia in Sailune, and less frequent ones from Lina and Zelgadis as they continue to journey, looking for a cure for him, but Xellos has been the only one she's seen on any kind of a regular basis for the last two years...and now even he might not be around? The feeling of sadness grows, accompanied by a sense of abandonment... She doesn't want Xellos to have to leave her too...in a way, he is the most important one to her...the one she most wants to keep in touch with, although she'll never admit to herself why.
"Obligations?" she asks.
'Cause I could take in my arms
And never let go
Xellos looks away, but even so, she manages to catch the faint look of regret.
"There is a void which has to be filled, Filia; two of the dark lords are dead, and I have a chance to take one of those places. I'm not sure what that will mean...so much is up in the air right now..."
"But if you don't take the chance there could be worse repercussions, I think I understand." Filia cuts in.
Ignoring the little voice inside her head which tells her this is wrong, she stands up and walks over to him. If he isn't going to be coming around anymore...no, she can't even consider the possibility...she has to do something to encourage him...without letting on that she cares as much as this announcement has caused her to realise she does. Burying her training deep within her, she softly walks over and sits on the bed facing away from him, leaning her back tentatively against his side. Very quietly she says, "Val will miss you if you don't visit..." Still unspoken is the implied "and so will I."
Xellos doesn't say anything for a second, and Filia holds very still, barely allowing herself to breath, and hoping he will understand what she can't bring herself to say yet...and might not be able to for a long time still. Very carefully and slowly, without looking at her, Xellos wraps his arm about Filia's waist. "We wouldn't want Val to be unhappy, now would we?" he says quietly.
"No, we wouldn't." Filia agrees.
She slowly leans back against him, not minding the feeling of his arm around her...it's really rather nice... A part of her wishes, no, yearns, for more, but she's not sure how to express her wish...or if it is safe to do so. After all, if he's going to become a Mazoku Lord...
Xellos tightens his arm around her, and she sighs involuntarily in response. "Filia..."
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
"Xellos...tell me about this new possibility...what will it mean?" Filia is desperately trying to keep to safe topics...she doesn't want to get into a discussion with him of why she's being so open tonight, if he understands, it's all to the good, if he doesn't, it'll be better if she says nothing. "I know there are two positions open, which of them are you thinking of?"
She can hear the smile in Xellos voice as he replies, after a pause, "Oh, I was thinking of taking over Gaav's spot...can you really see me in charge of all those souls in Hell? No, Gaav's position's much better..."
Filia nods thoughtfully. "I can see that...so...MaRyuuOu Xellos, then?"
"Something like that."
"Will you have a Dragon form the way he did originally?" she asks, genuinely curious
Xellos nods. "Probably."
"We shall have to fly together someday then." she whispers very quietly. Xellos turns her to look at him, and when she tries to look away, he uses his free hand to cup her chin, gently bringing it up to look her in the eyes.
"Did you mean that?"
Filia desperately tries to look away, but she can't break his gaze. In her eyes she utters a silent plea for him not to press the issue. Oh why did I have to say that? she thinks frantically.
"Filia...please tell me if you meant that."
There's actually a hint...no...it can't be...she must be imagining the trace of pleading in his voice...he can't really care that much...can he? Something stirs deep inside her, and to her own shock and amazement, Filia answers.
"Yes, I meant it."
She says it so softly that she's sure he won't hear her...but it's no good, he hears her anyway. Seizing the opportunity of his surprise to break free from his gaze, Filia looks away, shivering slightly in shock. How did this happen? How did she just admit, in one of the most blatant ways a Dragon has, that she both admired and desired him...how!? She feels his other arm come around her and pull her close, but she doesn't resist, simply buries her face in his chest, trying to hide from herself. He is warm, she absently notices.
I can only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
Xellos paces back and forth in his room, reading the communiqué over and over.
"We feel it is time that the empty places are filled. To this effect, we wish to inform you that, due to your prior actions, one of these positions will be held open to you. Choose as you will, but you must choose before the week is out, or others will be given this opportunity." he reads out loud for maybe the hundred and fiftieth time in the past three days.
He sighs. "Oh Filia...this will only push us farther apart...but I really have no choice."
He sits down on the too-rarely-used bed and holds his head in his hands, trying to puzzle this out. He knows there HAS to be a way around this, a way to make it work, but he just doesn't know what it is. In any case he should tell her. Maybe it will stir her from the lethargy he is afraid she's been slipping into.
He won't tell anyone, but he is secretly worried about Filia. She is keeping up a strong face, but he knows... He knows she hardly dreams, even though she sleeps, and that is not healthy. If it had only been a month or two, or even six, he wouldn't have been too concerned, but she is forcing her dreams away, and she's been doing it for a year and a half...
"Yes...I'll tell her, and see what happens from there." he says.
He teleports to her room, gazing at her: She sits with a dreamy smile on her face, brushing her long, gorgeous hair; she doesn't even seem to be aware he's here. Now he's more worried than ever! She should have been able to sense him! Ohhhh this is not good...
Well, I'd better let her know I'm here. He walks over behind her and takes the golden weight of her hair from her hands, running his fingers through its softness for a minute before beginning to braid it.
"Here," he says softly, "allow me."
Even her emotions are muffled and muted. He can feel it. She's trying to shut herself off from them.
Oh Filia. he sighs internally, Why are you doing this to yourself? You don't have to give up on life just because you're not out there in the thick of things anymore.
Outwardly he keeps up his usual banter, but inwardly he is becoming more and more worried as she continues to act strangely subdued.
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still
Taking a chance, he brings up Val. The mention of her ward at least gets Filia a little more animated, and he has to chuckle when he hears of the little Ancient's latest prank. Willing his hands not to shake, he says "You know, what he really needs is a father-figure..."
Now that's got a reaction out of her! That's real anger...and embarrassment? What could she be hiding? Could it be that some other man's been coming around? It can't be! He watches her too carefully for that...right? Right!? He grips her hair tightly for a second, feeling a wave of intense jealousy, but he forces himself to relax and not to let on that anything's disturbed him. After all, he is a powerful Mazoku...about to become even more powerful...one unimportant Gold Dragon shouldn't be able to get to him like this. Ha. Who is he trying to fool? She got to him the moment he saw her, and has been getting to him in various ways ever since. "After all, you made a promise, didn't you." he says as he finishes braiding her hair. It's so soft and silky he's reluctant to let go of it, (he'd rather feel it loose against his body... Nope, don't let yourself go there Xell, it's not going to happen) but he does finally let go, letting it whump down against her back, "There, all done."
She closes her eyes, and he knows she expects him to leave, but he's not going ANYWHERE now...not until he's told her what he came here to say...now how exactly to say it?
He goes over and sits on the bed, finding it, although less comfortable than his, still not bad. He rearranges a couple of the cushions to suit him and stretches his feet out casually. She glares at him and orders him to leave, but he just gazes at her, open-eyed, trying to let her see that he cares very much about her, but unsure of the way to do that. Mazoku aren't generally very adept at dealing with love...lust is okay, but love...it's just not supposed to even be in his vocabulary. Taking a deep breath, as inconspicuously as he can, Xellos brings up the reason he's here.
"Is there really any hurry for me to leave?" he asks her, almost pleading, "I might not be able to drop in like this soon...the world's changing Filia, no matter how much we might not want it to, and I have obligations..."
So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know
He watches and feels and "tastes" the emotions that play through her...and every single one of them is dark...leading closer and closer to despair. He seems to have opened the emotional barrier she had been constructing, but what is flowing out...well, the only way to heal an infection is to bleed the poison, but this is an awful lot of "poison".
In halting words he explains the situation to her, the need for new Mazoku Lords to right the balance of power, looking away as he finds the tide of her emotions too much even for him. She understands, and he is glad of that. Perhaps she did learn some things about the Balance while they were on their little adventure after all...
He is still looking away from her as he hears her get up from the chair and move toward him. Now she feels...resolved? The bed shifts slightly as she sits down, then, to his amazement, she leans against him. He can tell she's unsure about the action, but he is as well...he didn't expect her to do this!
"Val will miss you if you don't visit." she says, but he knows somehow that she's not talking about the young Ancient, she's talking about herself. Her emotions show loneliness and a sense of abandonment...he can't let her stay that way, he cares too much, but what to do...what to do...
Too stunned for a second to do anything, he finally wraps an arm around her waist, very gingerly, mentally keeping his fingers crossed. The night is going well...better than he could have hoped...and he doesn't want to do anything to scare her off again. He makes some inane comment about Val, and Filia relaxes, letting herself lean against him. Xellos can sense that, in part, what she really needs right now is reassurance that there is still stability, both in their relationship and in her life.
He tightens his arm around her reassuringly and she sighs, her emotions displaying mingled relief, apprehension and yearning. It's remarkably comfortable holding her like this, and if the night goes no further...even if the next 50 nights go no further he'll be contented...holding her feels so right... Doing more than holding sounds even better, but he'll let her take her own pace on that...they have the time.
He plans his next sentence out in his head. Filia, you know no matter what I'll always be around... he intends to say, but he only gets as far as "Filia..." before she interrupts him, obviously trying to change the subject. Inwardly he chuckles. That's his Fi-chan all right, unpredictable and slightly graceless on occasion, but still a Golden Dragon to the core...definitely not one for discussing difficult subjects if they can be avoided.
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
The topic she picks seems so innocuous, and yet, it is a good question... Whose position should he take? Whose position does he WANT? He could be Hellmaster, playing with the souls of the dead for eternity, but then he would have to be stuck in Hell all the time...how boring! And besides, all the administration would be a REAL pain in the ass. Hundreds of people dying every day, how could he ever hope to keep up with it all? No, Gaav's position was better suited to Xellos...The Demon Dragon King, roaming the world...yes, that was it, he'd take Gaav's place.
Ironic, he thought, since Gaav tried to kill me.
He tells her of his plans, and strangely enough, it seems to have calmed her. The barriers are still down and she's calming naturally, which is good. She seems now more thoughtful than anything else.
"So...MaRyuuOu Xellos, then?" she asks, and he agrees. "Will you have a Dragon form the way he did originally?"
Another thing he hasn't yet pondered. Most likely he will change astral forms, although it's doubtful he'll look much like Gaav did as a dragon...more likely he'll be able to pretty-much choose his own form, although the Dragon aspect will remain the same. Smiling he pictures it. Perhaps a dark dragon with iridescent purple scales and sleek, bat-like wings, similar in size to Filia's own dragon form...maybe slightly larger...it would create a lovely contrast against her shining gold, if they were ever to fly together. But then, THAT is a wild and impossible idea, a flight of fancy if there ever was such a thing. Even if Filia might put up with him and not smash him into the ground, flying together means something special to Dragons, and he knows it.
When he agrees that his astral form would indeed likely change with the promotion, he feels something strange from her, something he can't immediately identify.
"We shall have to fly together someday then." she whispers so quietly he's almost not sure he heard correctly. Did she just read his mind? She can't have meant that! He must know the truth...did she really mean that?! He pulls her around, shifting her so he can see her face, and she looks away.
Oh no, you are NOT getting out of this. he resolves mentally, You can not just dump that on me and run away from it, from me, from yourself again! Gently he turns her head toward his, forcing her to face him, and asks her if she meant what she just said. He can see her trying to look away, he can see and feel the pleading in her not to press the issue, and part of him wavers for a moment, but no, this cannot be left unresolved, it will only poison them both.
And then he does something he never thought he would ever do...HE pleads with HER. Looking deeply into her eyes he says, "Filia...please tell me if you meant that." and he lets her see a little of how important the answer is to him.
"Yes, I meant it."
Those words send a shock through his whole being. Oh Gods...he hadn't dared to hope...but... Xellos revels in the feeling of having the one he has desired for so long in his arms. True, he had come tonight in hopes that his news might shake her up a bit, but this is wildly beyond anything he could have ever planned on...and amazingly enough, it has him stumped. He tightens his arms about her a little and gazes in wonder at her. He knows perfectly well what it means to be offered to fly with a Dragon, and he wonders just how much this admission cost her in terms of both pride and independence. Her conversational ploys haven't really fooled him; after all, he can feel some of her emotions; but he had despaired of her ever overcoming the strict mental training all young Dragon maidens are put through to make them demure and refined, not to mention her natural aversion to Mazoku. He smiles softly at her.
"Filia..." he says, "Do you want to talk about this?"
And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try to do what I should do
"Do you want to talk about this?" he asks.
Filia just buries her head in his chest, her throat too tight with emotion to speak. Tentatively she reaches out with her mind
Is there aught to discuss? she asks.
Much, I should think. he answers, using mental speech as well, What you said has brought up many questions which will need to be answered, you know that.
She sighs. I know, but at the moment I know not the answers to many of the questions you would pose. Slowly she dares to look up at him. For now, would you...just hold me?
She feels caught in his gaze, and almost panics for a second, but his arms, secure around her, calm her somehow. It's strange. If anything, being held by him should make her more nervous rather than less. He's a Mazoku, and the slayer of many of her kind, and yet, somehow, that doesn't matter...sometimes Necessity can breed strange partnerships, and sometimes those partnerships last longer than the initial Necessity...become oddly comfortable...even if one isn't initially aware of it. When you think of it that way, an expatriate Golden Dragon Priestess raising a reborn Ancient Dragon and having feelings for a prospective Mazoku Lord is not all THAT strange...
Who is she trying to kid, it's bizarre, and she knows it. Idly she wonders what their old travelling companions would think about this latest happening.
She giggles and looks at him. "Lina and Zelgadis are both going to have fits about this, you know."
He nuzzles at her hair, and she feels a warm shock go through her. "You're right, they probably will...I wonder who'll throw the bigger fit? Hmm...most likely Zelly-boy, he's the most sensitive about anything to do with relationships, after all."
She sighs. "Well, after all, I can't really blame them if they're a bit disbelieving at first...I mean, after all, we haven't always gotten along..."
"No, that we haven't...although most of the animosity was really on your side, Fi-chan. I mean, after all, calling someone compost isn't much of a way to start off on your best foot..."
I am sorry about that. she admits mentally as she slips her arms around him.
Nonsense, it was a perfectly expectable reaction, given the circumstances. he reassures her. "After all," he murmurs into her hair, "how were you to know then how your whole life would change?"
Filia smiles. "Do you think my feelings only have to do with the changes I've been through?" she almost laughs, "No, my silly Mazoku, I had feelings of a sort almost from the first...that's why I reacted so badly to you. I was doing everything I could think of to drive you away from me...I was very confused."
"I'll just bet you were." he agrees.
But I could fall in love, fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
Filia tries to conceal a yawn, and Xellos smiles at her...an honest, caring smile like she's never seen before on his face.
"Look at me...here you are, a working single mother, and I'm keeping you up past your bedtime when you're obviously exhausted." he says, "I should let you get some rest."
Is he trying to get out of here? Has she gone too far? Said too much? Suddenly Filia is very worried. What if she's misinterpreted the whole evening's discussion? Took it for something it was not? She is amazed to find herself trembling.
"No...really it's all right, I don't mind being kept up every now and then...I'm not that...tired...reeea..." she tries to swallow another yawn and feels her eyelids trying to close on their own. She honestly is quite tired...more so than she had thought earlier. It hadn't been that taxing a day...but then, a lot has happened this evening, and emotional revelations can be quite tiring.
She feels a finger stroke gently along her cheekbone.
"How does this sound?" Xellos suggests quietly, "If you promise to get some sleep, I'll promise to stay until morning, so we can continue our discussion then."
Should she agree? Should she trust him? What if he tries to...she feels herself blush, and presses her face into his shirt as she realises that she actually wouldn't MIND if he tried something...but still...
Xell chuckles and winds her braided hair around one forearm, pulling her face back so he can lean down and place one gentle kiss on her forehead. "Do you actually think I would try anything when I WANT you to get sleep?" he asks in a wry tone.
"Well...err..." she blushes brightly, unable to look away as he is still holding her firmly in place by her braid.
"Silly Dragon..." he mumbles as he places his lips to hers in a kiss which, though light, is anything but platonic, "We have all the time in the world, and I'm much more patient than you give me credit for."
Filia feels a warm, hazy sensation fill her from her chest out, and almost feels herself melt. He's right, she realises, there are probably many parts of him she hasn't seen yet, but she has observed his keen tactical skills, and patience is essential in such things.
"In that case then, I agree, I'll promise to get some sleep, and we can continue this most interesting discussion in the morning." Filia says drowsily. She closes her eyes and leans against him, and feels herself tilt downward as he leans back, arranging the two of them on the bed so she is lying cradled in his arms.
Siempre estoy sonando en ti ~~ I am always
dreaming of you
Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel ~~ Kissing my lips, caressing my skin
Abrazandome con ansias locas ~~ Embracing me with crazy yearning
As Filia hides her head in his chest, Xellos tightens his grip around her slightly.
Is there aught to discuss? she asks, and he is surprised to realise she said it directly in his mind, not out loud. Mental speech requires a lot of trust in the other party...he had not thought she trusted him that much yet! Tonight has certainly been a night of many revelations for him...so much more than he could ever have expected. He smiles to himself.
He can sense her confusion clearly when she admits to him that she really doesn't know the answers to most of the obvious questions that tonight's revelations would have brought up in his mind. Being honest with himself, he probably is just as confused as she. After all, this should never have happened in the first place. Sure, her having a thing for him was possible...after all, he was quite aware of the "side benefits" of an air of mystery, one of which was, of course, seeming attractive to the females of any sentient race; but usually he just ignored such distractions, or, if he was feeling bored, took from them for a little while, then set them adrift. This time, though, something had been different right from the outset. Something about her had tugged at him. Somehow from the moment he saw her, he had wanted to see her smile at him, had wanted to get on her good side. She looks appealingly up into his eyes and asks him to just hold her, and he feels that same twinge inside himself that she's been sparking for years now. He breathes in her scent happily, feeling her warm body in his arms, her chest pressing against his as she breathes, and nothing has ever felt so good. Of course, he being a Mazoku, things which feel "good" should be anathema to him, but he and Zelas are different. He's always suspected it comes from the influence of the wolf in their makeup. Wolves, despite their nasty reputations, are actually fiercely caring and devoted animals, although they are, of course, marvellous hunters, they do best in groups, rather than alone. No wolf is ever truly happy alone.
No, loneliness has haunted him for far too long. He had Juou-sama, of course, and the other less-sentient wolves on Wolfpack Island, but he is an alpha, and alphas need mates. Zelas, being family, is and always has been out of the question, and none of the shorter-lived females really interested him...
His train of thought is interrupted as Filia giggles.
"Lina and Zelgadis are both going to have fits about this, you know." she points out.
Finally...finally she's actually happy! It's been so long since he felt true happiness from her...and what's even better, this happiness seems to have been brought by him. It's all he has wanted for years; to bring her happiness. He joyously nuzzles her hair.
He can't help but agree with her sentiment, both Lina and Zelgadis are likely to be upset by this development...although he's sure they'll accustom themselves to it in time. Well, they'd better get used to it, because there is no way he is ever letting this Dragon girl go again.
"We haven't always gotten along." she points out, and he has to agree. Certainly to all outward appearances, they hated each other with a passion...well...passion it was, even if it wasn't hate. And certainly he had reacted badly more than a few times when she had baited him, and had baited her in turn; partly because it had seemed at first to be the only way he had of getting her to listen to him. After all, he certainly wasn't above using a little reverse psychology on her if it saved her life. He gently ribs her a little about the "nickname" she had given him on their first meeting, and is mildly surprised to actually receive an apology! Surprised enough by it, in fact, that he forgives her without any further discussion on the subject. She had probably never known how that name hurt him, especially since he rarely admitted that to himself. How could he admit that this Dragon girl, whose powers didn't come close to rivalling his, could cause him such emotional pain with just one word? He tried to convince himself it only annoyed him, but deep down he knew it was hurt.
Imaginando que me amas ~~ Imagining that you love
me
Como yo podia amar a ti. ~~ As I could love you
"Do you think my feelings only have to do with the changes I've been through?" she almost laughs, when he tries to explain her initial interaction with him, "No, my silly Mazoku, I had feelings of a sort almost from the first...that's why I reacted so badly to you. I was doing everything I could think of to drive you away from me...I was very confused."
Well, she may have been confused then, but he is royally confused now! She had feelings from the start? So much time wasted because of lack of communication and the stupid shortsightedness of Dragons...not her, but those who taught her. All that time while he was pining after her, and she, secretly, for him, they could have spent together...how extremely frustrating!
He can tell she's starting to get tired. She tries to conceal a yawn, but she doesn't do it very well, and he smiles down at her, apologises for keeping her up so late, and offers to leave so she can get some sleep. All of a sudden she's...uncertain again? What has brought this on? Does she think he wasn't serious? Does she doubt herself? Oh, that silly, frustrating, unbearably loveable Dragon, when did this self-doubt slip in? He'll have to get rid of it, it doesn't suit her.
Reaching down, he strokes one finger gently along her cheekbone.
"How does this sound?" he suggests, "If you promise to get some sleep, I'll promise to stay until morning, so we can continue our discussion then." He can feel her mental turmoil around this question, then he catches a quick glimpse of her blushing face before she hides it in his shirtfront. Aha! So that's what was bothering her! As if he would try anything when she is so obviously exhausted...
He winds one hand into her braid, actually thankful for it for once tonight as it provides a good "handle" for her, then turns her face up toward his and plants a light kiss on her forehead, admonishing her for thinking he would do such things when he wants her to get sleep.
He grins inwardly. That certainly has her flustered! She looks so adorable when she's blushing like that...and she can't even look away, since he still has her braid tightly held. He can't stand it any longer. Even if he does nothing else tonight, he has to give her a proper kiss.
"Silly Dragon..." he mumbles, kissing her lightly on the lips and letting that butterfly-soft contact set his whole body aflame, "We have all the time in the world, and I'm much more patient than you give me credit for."
Although if I do that again, that patience might just fly right out the window. he wryly admits to himself, Oh L-SAMA that felt good!
She agrees to sleep, and he can sense her slipping closer and closer to it as she leans against him. Cradling her carefully in his arms, he leans back to settle them on the bed, and holds her close to him blissfully.
So I should keep this to myself
"Xellos..." Filia mumbles, "I...I'm glad you came here tonight...I'm very glad you came..."
He just kisses her hair and pulls the blankets up around them.
"I'm glad I came tonight too... probably more than you know." he says lovingly.
Should I say it? she wonders to herself as she snuggles against him in an effort to find the most comfortable position to sleep in, being somewhat unused to sharing her bed, Should I tell him I love him? After tonight I'm sure he's figured it out, but...it's different to actually say the words...maybe in the morning...
She yawns hugely and squidges closer to him, tucking her head into the space between his shoulder and neck.
Yes...the morning...I'm just so tired...
With a sigh she drifts off to sleep, and soon begins to dream; for the first time in years.
In the dream, he is there with her. It seems to be some time in the future, and he is no longer the "Trickster Priest", but now "MaRyuuOu". He still looks the same, but she can feel his power much more strongly than before. They're in a wide, open meadow with a lake in the middle, and it's a beautiful clear day, barely a cloud in the sky.
He smiles at her. "Shall we fly?" he asks, holding out his hand to her invitingly.
She smiles back at him. "I'd love to." she says, taking his hand in hers and gazing at the sky, "It's a perfect day for flying."
Standing face-to-face, they both transform at the same time, and he lays his long, serpentine neck over hers in a gesture of affection.
"You're as beautiful as ever, my Golden one." he murmurs.
She preens a bit at his compliment, and raises her head to look him over, taking in the full glory of his dragon form.
"You look exceptionally good in this shape, you know." she comments.
He tucks his head under hers playfully. "Let's fly!" he laughs, then turns toward the lake and takes off, extending his wings to catch the updrafts off the large body of water.
Filia takes off moments later, and the two of them glide, wingtip to wingtip, on the spiralling updrafts over the wide, sun-warmed lake. Once they're high above the earth, Filia laughs softly to herself, then banks off away from Xellos, batting playfully at his near wing with her tail as she goes.
"You gonna catch me?" she laughingly calls back to him.
And never let you know
She mumbles into his shoulder and he smiles and holds her closer, then tucks her in properly. It seems a little strange, to care for another, to take care of another...it's all so new for him. He is a Mazoku and all; but surprisingly it's a good feeling, and for some unfathomable reason that good feeling doesn't make him weak, or sick, instead, it seems to strengthen him. And now, as soon as I accept my new place, no one will be able to criticise my choice...and there's not a person or Dragon to criticise my Fi-chan...anyone who does will most definitely be facing my wrath.
"I'm glad I came too...probably more than you know." he reassures her, enjoying the sensation of her snuggling and wriggling to find a comfortable spot.
Mmm....she smells good, she feels good...this is good. Interesting, I've never really FELT good before. It feels very right...strange...
He shakes his head and smiles ironically at himself, brushing her hair out of her eyes. After a while he realises that Filia is asleep and dreaming. He grins. Finally she's letting herself dream again. He feels inordinately proud...after all, if he hadn't come tonight, she wouldn't be dreaming tonight, and...well...a great many things wouldn't have happened. Still smiling to himself, he decides to watch her dream.
Well well, dreaming about him, is she? There's only one thing to do in a situation such as this...to enter the dream in the form already provided for him and share it with her. He grins. And what better thing to dream about than that which was already discussed tonight. Slipping into the Image of him her subconscious has supplied, he smiles at her and holds out his hand.
"Shall we fly?"
"I'd love to, it's a perfect day for flying."
He is surprised and most definitely not displeased that she feels no modesty or discomfort about changing in front of him...he certainly feels no compunction to hide himself from her...he only wonders what she will think of the new form he has created in his mind's eye...only hopes it will be a proper compliment to her beauty.
Borrowing a wolfish gesture, he lays his head on her shoulder, and compliments her on her beauty. If a Dragon could blush, he probably would be when she compliments him in turn, telling him he looks "exceptionally good". Blushing isn't something Xellos does often, but it does happen on occasion, and he is a little sensitive about this new form, he wants to get it right, not to look silly.
But enough of this, they are supposed to fly together, right?
Borrowing another wolfish gesture, which he can only hope will translate, he buts playfully at her chin and says, "Let's fly!"
He takes off, and she quickly follows. At first they simply glide calmly along the updrafts from a large lake, but then, all of a sudden she banks away with a laugh, and he feels her tail bat at his wing as she playfully calls to him to catch her.
I could fall in love with you
Taking full advantage of the air currents created by the clear, warm day, Filia banks and wheels across the sky, managing, through her longer experience with the subtleties of flight, to stay just out of Xell's reach. Flying behind him, she uses the lift off his wings to soar over him, and then somersaults down in front of him, ducking out of his way at the last minute...and just a second too late. He catches her by the tail and tugs her close, then sends the two of them into a controlled tumble down toward the lake.
"Xellos! You're crazy! What do you think you're doing?!" Filia demands half in fright and half in anger as the ground rapidly draws nearer.
"Change." He whispers to her, "I promise it'll be all right, just change."
"You don't leave me much choice, do you?" Filia asks wryly as she shifts back to her "human" form.
Instantly Xell snaps his wings open again, and turns the tumble into a searing dive, creating a vacuum which allows him to turn rapidly only feet from the ground to go soaring up into the sky again.
"What was THAT all about?!" Filia asks, still breathless from the fright.
"You can trust me." Xell said simply, "There is no way I could ever hurt you, not intentionally, I had to show you that. I never want to hurt you. Not physically; not emotionally... Never. Ever. I just had to prove that to you."
Filia is struck speechless. Truthfully, she hadn't considered it at all...she had implicitly trusted Xellos to keep her safe. When had that started? Logically, she thinks, he should be the last person anyone should trust, but somehow, she had known...known she could trust her safety to him.
"It's not the first time." she says.
"What's not the first time?" Xell asks.
"It's not the first time you've saved me...you saved me from those rocks before."
"I did, didn't I?" Xellos says with a smile in his voice, "Sorry I dropped you then...I couldn't allow my feelings to become obvious...I didn't want to put you in any more of a dangerous position than you were already."
"Mmm..." Filia mumbles, smiling.
"Well...since I've won the game, what do you think we should do now?" he asks as he lands and sets Filia down, changing back to his "human" form and sitting down.
Filia grins and whips out her tea set from the dimensional pocket where she always keeps it and sits down beside him. "How about a spot of tea? Flying like that is thirsty work."
Xellos laughs. "I should have known...you and your tea. Thank you, I'd love a cup." He takes the delicate china cup she offers and sips at it, smiling.
"Just out of curiosity, where DO you keep that thing when you're not using it?" he asks.
Filia grins. "That, my dear, is my own little secret. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.
I could fall in love with you
So, that's how she wants to play it, is it? He knows this game; knows where it often leads... He grins and banks after her, finding the manoeuvring a little more difficult than she made it look.
Although he can barely keep up with her, her beautiful form in flight is reward enough for his efforts. Her golden skin gleams as she barrel rolls and cartwheels across the sky, and he knows it's only a matter of time before she overextends and takes too much of a chance. Just a little too close...and then he'll have her. The whole sensation of using wings to fly is new to him, and he marvels at the sensations of air slipping over his wings, and the slight tug of the vacuum created just below them which helps keep him aloft. The purely physical aspects of flying amaze him, and he revels in his newfound ability.
Just then, Filia flies over top of him, and, in cartwheeling down in front of him, makes that little error he was waiting for. She's just close enough for him to grab, and he does so, remembering only at the last minute that he's flying, and this extra weight needs to be accounted for.
This could be a good thing, if I use it to my advantage. he thinks as the two of them slip into a semi-controlled tumble. He tucks his wings in, and quickly estimates the amount of time he has to pull out of this safely. Filia is obviously less than pleased...in fact, she seems to be shouting something about him being crazy, but he stays calm, and whispers to her to change forms.
She barely even hesitates before turning back to her human guise, and it's just in time. He flares his wings out within feet of the ground, and soars back into the air. He can feel her heart pounding, and can sense the mingled fear and anger wafting from her, slowly dissipating into confusion.
"What was THAT all about?!" she asks.
Inwardly he smiles. His Filia is so brave...the true test of bravery is to be frightened and yet continue on despite that fear, but he already knew that, that was not the reason for his little...what would he call it; test?...no, better to call it a demonstration.
"You can trust me."
Trust. Such a simple concept, but not something to be earned lightly. And not something that most relationships could survive without.
"There is no way I could ever hurt you, not intentionally, I had to show you that. I never want to hurt you. Not physically; not emotionally... Never. Ever. I just had to prove that to you."
He hasn't realised until now just how important that proving is to him. He wants her trust almost as much as he had wanted her love and kindness...so few trust him. Probably for good reason, but even Mazoku like to be trusted at least a little.
She reminds him that he has saved her before, and he remembers. It was the first time he'd really touched her, and it had felt amazing. That had been the point at which he had stopped trying to deny his feelings to himself. And he had realised almost at once that if he could admit those feelings, others might be able to see them as well, and that would put her in a position of danger. He had regretfully dropped her at that point. It was for her own good, but he felt horribly empty the instant he did.
He explains his reasons to her then, why he had had to drop her, and she seems to understand. He grins inwardly, remembering suddenly that there was a reason he had caught her, after all. As he comes in for a landing, he asks her what she plans to do next. He changes back to his human seeming and sits down to wait for her answer.
When she whips out her teapot and suggests a cup of tea, he has to laugh. Once again, it's his unpredictable little Filia-chan at work. Intriguing though... He's always wondered where she keeps that tea. Maybe now, since he's allowed to touch her...perhaps to do more than touch...he has a chance of finding out.
When she claims it's her little secret, he knows he has a perfect opportunity. After all, secrets ARE his speciality. Not only keeping them, but getting them out of others as well.
I could fall in love
Xellos grins. "Well...I wonder if I can persuade you to tell me?" he ponders slyly.
Filia giggles. "You can try, but I'm not saying anything."
Xell shifts a little closer to her. "You're sure? I feel I must warn you, I'm very good at persuasion."
"Are you?"
"I am." he whispers as he leans in to kiss her ear.
"Mmm..."
"You...sure...you won't...tell me?" he asks as he kisses down along her jaw.
"Um-uum...my lips are sealed." She shakes her head slightly.
"They don't look sealed to me." Xell says, kissing her deeply, Now they're sealed.
Filia closes her eyes and sighs appreciatively as he nibbles lightly along her lower lip -- then whimpers as he pulls away. "Why did you stop?"
"Because, I'm still curious about where you keep your tea set, and you can't very well tell me if your mouth is occupied, can you?" Xell chuckles. He nips lightly at her neck. "Now do be a good girl and tell me. It's not such a big thing, is it?" Softly he kisses the small mark to soothe it. "I suppose I could always try just looking for it myself..." His hands roam slowly down her sides and over her hips.
Filia "eep"s. "All right, all right, I'll tell you! Or rather, I'll show you."
"Show me?" he looks at her quizzically.
"Here." She takes his hand and leads it to a pocket hidden in the seam of her dress, "This is where I keep my tea set...among other things. Do be careful of the heat spell.
Xell looks at her in amazement as he slips his hand into the pocket. "You've got a whole little dimension in here, haven't you!"
Filia laughs. "I do."
Xellos pulls his hand back out and wraps his arms around her. "Well, you did tell me, so I should reward you shouldn't I?"
"Reward me?"
"Yes, you've definitely earned a reward." Xell looks very seriously at Filia, then leans slowly in and kisses her, stretching the contact out luxuriantly until she is almost purring, and strokes his hands through her hair.
Mmm...this is the best dream I've ever had. Filia thinks fleetingly as her conscious thought dissolves into the kiss.
I could fall in love
"Well...I wonder if I can persuade you to tell me?" he asks ponderingly as he sketches out his plan of "attack" in his head. If she won't tell him outright...he'll just have to KISS her into submission. He grins in anticipation.
"You can try, but I'm not saying anything."
Just the invitation he was looking for. He shifts a little closer to her. "You're sure? I feel I must warn you, I'm very good at persuasion."
"Are you?"
"I am." He whispers this last just as he leans in to kiss her ear. He intersperses his questions with kisses along her jawline, and he can barely suppress the shivers of delight that affect him with each brief taste of her skin. He feels his heartbeat quicken as she makes appreciative little moaning sounds.
"Um-uum...my lips are sealed." she says.
Lips...yes, those look good...not sealed yet, but they will be. he thinks to himself, and then kisses her deeply; informing her that now they are indeed sealed.
For a little while, he forgets his objective, simply giving in to the urge to kiss her with everything he has.
After a minute of this, he gradually remembers that he did have an objective, and reluctantly pulls away from her lips. Her whimper of longing as the kiss ends almost has him right back there again, but he steels himself to stick to his original plan, and answers her plaintive questioning with the obvious explanation.
"Because, I'm still curious about where you keep your tea set, and you can't very well tell me if your mouth is occupied, can you?"
In order to keep his attention away from her lips, and the temptation therein, he moves his ministrations to her neck, nipping lightly.
"Now do be a good girl and tell me. It's not such a big thing, is it?" He tenderly kisses the spot he had just nipped at, soothing the small hurt. You're mine now, he thinks to himself, I've marked you and you're mine. And since you're mine... "I suppose I could always try just looking for it myself..."
He lets his hands roam slowly down her sides and over her hips, searching for that elusive spot where she must hide the teaset.
Her surprised squeak is delightful...so cute! And his latest tactic seems to have done the trick; she agrees to show him her hiding spot. She takes his hand in hers and draws it to an inseam pocket, warning him to be careful of the heat spell.
Xell reaches in, and he's quite amazed. He had expected perhaps a small subdimensional pocket, big enough to hold the tea tray she always carries, and maybe one or two other things, but this...he can't sense an end to it...it's as though she's got access to an entire subdimension!
"You've got a whole little dimension in here, haven't you!" He asks, amazed, and she confirms it with a giggle.
Well now he knows...his little Dragon is much more powerful than he gave her credit for... He pulls his arm out of the truly amazing little secret space of hers and puts both of them around her in a hug.
"Well, you did tell me, so I should reward you shouldn't I?" he smiles.
"Reward me?" She sounds curious, and there's definitely a note of anticipation in her voice.
"Yes, you've definitely earned a reward." He takes his time as he leans in to kiss her with passion and possession, running his hands through the soft masses of her loosed hair in delight.
He can see she's drifting out of the dreamstate, and he's tempted to take it further... But no...his motto through this whole night has been "take it slow and let her make the advances" and it seems to have worked very well so far...he can wait for more, and to botch things up at this point would be the worst possible outcome. Better to let her sink back into deeper sleep on this note.
With
As the early morning sunshine creeps into her room, Filia begins to wake. I probably have an hour or so before Val wakes. she thinks foggily to herself, No need to get up just yet...such a lovely dream, I wonder if I can just slip back asleep for a bit and start it up again.
She rolls over and snuggles a little.
Awfully big pillow...and it's warm... she breathes deeply, and smells good...and...it's...breathing?
She opens her eyes sharply to see Xellos smiling at her.
"Good morning beautiful." he says lovingly.
"Xell! You're...here! I..."
Xell chuckles. "You thought it was all a dream?"
Filia nods wordlessly.
"Only some of it was a dream silly...the rest of it was real. You're not quite awake yet, are you?"
"Um...not really, I guess. But I'm glad it wasn't a dream. Mind you, I did have a lovely dream..."
"I know." Xell says with a grin.
"You know?"
"I'm a Mazoku, remember? Dreamscapes are quite accessible to me...especially when someone has kindly already provided me with a form to occupy."
"That really was you?" she asks, surprise surely evident in her tone.
"It really was me."
Filia smiles happily and stretches against him. "Well, since we're awake, how would you like some breakfast?"
"Do we have to get up?"
"I suppose not...not yet anyway. Val-chan will probably sleep for a little longer."
"Good. If there's no need to get up, then we can just stay right here...I just want to hold this moment for a little while longer."
Filia blushes happily and sighs in contentment as his arms tighten around her. This is perfect...I want to stay like this forever. Nothing else matters now but me and him...not race, not the views of others...not even the past and the things he's done. I should hate him, but instead I love him. It's strange, but I can live with that...especially when it feels so good. She hesitantly reaches up and sweeps his hair out of his face.
Now. Now is the time, now it feels right. she mentally decides. Xell smiles gently at her and she smiles back.
"Xellos...I love you." she says wonderingly.
"I love you too." he whispers as he pulls her in and kisses her.
you...
He wakes up long before her, and happily watches her sleep. She looks both innocent and alluring; she seems as untouchable as an angel, and yet, somehow, she's spooned against him so that their bodies contact as much as possible. A study in contradictions, that's his Filia.
As the sun rises, Xellos can feel her begin to wake. Her thought processes are still scattered though, and he can tell she doesn't remember he's there. This should be interesting. he thinks to himself, I wonder how long it'll take her to remember and realise everything?
She rolls over then, snuggling against him, and roots her head softly against his chest.
I'm not a pillow, Filia-chan... he thinks ironically, although I don't object in the slightest to having your head resting there.
She takes a deep breath, and he can sense her thoughts consolidating toward a more awake state...then she opens her eyes and looks straight into his. He's never seen anything as amazing as the hundreds of shades of blue in her trusting eyes, and he smiles at her.
"Good morning beautiful."
"Xell! You're...here! I..." She sounds a little startled, and he smiles and asks her, or rather, states that she had obviously thought it was all a dream.
If this was a dream, I would never ever wake up again. he thinks to himself happily, Nothing could be better than this.
"Only some of it was a dream silly...the rest of it was real. You're not quite awake yet, are you?"
"Um...not really, I guess. But I'm glad it wasn't a dream. Mind you, I did have a lovely dream..."She sounds so happy when she says this, and Xell is amazed...a dream made her that happy?...but then, Mazoku don't dream on their own often, so he hasn't much reference on his own dreams making him happy. The dreams of others, however...
He tells her about the truth of the dream, that in fact, in a way, the dream was just as real as their earlier conversation that night, and she seems a little surprised, but accepts it gracefully and seemingly gladly.
Filia smiles that delightful smile of hers and stretches...incidentally brushing against him in a most alluring way, being all the more alluring because she seems so innocent.
"Well, since we're awake, how would you like some breakfast?" she suggests.
"Do we have to get up?" Xellos asks reluctantly.
"I suppose not...not yet anyway. Val-chan will probably sleep for a little longer."
"Good. If there's no need to get up, then we can just stay right here...I just want to hold this moment for a little while longer."
She smiles and blushes and his arms tighten around her.
My Filia. Somehow this was meant to be. Despite everything, or perhaps because of it, we were meant to be.
She gazes at him, reaching up to sweep his hair out of his face, and he's almost startled by the light touch of her hand. He smiles at her, and she smiles back.
"Xellos...I love you." she says, with awe clear in her voice.
She loves him! She said it! The night's events had made it fairly obvious of course, but to hear her actually say it...
"I love you too." He whispers, amazement and wonder evident in his tone, then pulls her close to him and kisses her.
A perfect beginning to a new life.