Zelgadis mumbled his discontentment. He was angry with Lina for not giving him the Claire Bible. Zelgadis merely wanted the cure to his "condition". Was that too much to ask? To be human again? Zelgadis trudged slowly behind the others as the party trekked to Seyruun once again. Ranma and Akane were telling Lina how they'd ended up in Marra in the first place.
"So you see, Ranma and Happosai got into this weird fight and Happosai threw this junk all over us. Then we ended up here. Hey look, it's starting to rain," Akane said.
Ranma and Ryoga looked at each other, wide eyed with fear. Not rain! Not now! Akane would find out about Ryoga's dark secret. And Ranma didn't want Lina and the others to know his. So Ranma fled with Ryoga in tow. Akane and Ukyou burst into fits of laughter, leaning on each other for support. Of course, Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis had no clue what the laughter was about, but they shrugged and kept walking.
About a half-mile away stood a very soaked red haired girl. She carried in her arms a small black pig with a yellow and black bandanna. The pig was squealing madly and attempting to break the girl's grip.
"Now, come on, you don't want her to know do you? Just let me take off your bandanna while you're a pig. I'll tell her that you ran off and got lost again, okay?" the red-haired girl said. The pig calmed down while the girl untied his bandanna. "There, all better. I'll just say I found a substitute for her pet while she's away from home okay?"
"Bweeeeee! Bwweeeeee!" the pig squealed in protest as the girl tucked him into her blouse.
"Shut up!"
"Bweee!"
"They should be back by now! The rain's stopped," Akane said to Ukyou when they were alone in Seyruun Inn. Amelia was the Princess, so as guests, they were staying in the best hotel in the city. Not a bad deal.
"Yeah, I mean, it's not like Ranma-honey at all to get lost. That's just Ryoga," Ukyou agreed.
"And why did Ranma drag Ryoga along anyway?" Akane asked, puzzled.
Ukyou thought fast, "Uh, maybe he wanted another guy around when he changed back. It would be kind of awkward, dragging one of us through the mud." Ukyou was satisfied with her quick response. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Ukyou opened it and welcomed Ranma inside.
"Ranma! Here, let's get you changed back - oh! What's this? It looks like P-chan. But how did you find him. And where's Ryoga, anyway?" Akane asked.
"Well, Ryoga got mad and decided to find his own way here. I found this little black pig on the side of the road and figured he'd be a good substitute for P-chan while you're away from home," Ranma said, blushing as red as his (or rather her) hair, "He's a nice calm little pig." Ranma and the pig glared at each other.
"Why Ranma! That's so sweet of you! Here I thought you were just a pervert. You really do care!" Akane said, smiling.
"Aww, it's not like I like you or nothing, who could like an un-cute tomboy like you anyway?" Ranma said, trying to uphold his masculinity even in girl-form. Akane's mallet came out of nowhere and embedded itself in his skull. "Ouch."
Ranma wandered into the men's bath and several of the men already there covered themselves up and started yelling. Ranma didn't notice Zelgadis and Gourry sipping coffee in the corner of the bath. He stripped off his clothing to reveal his female body, jumped in the water, and came up male.
"What are you looking at anyway?" Ranma shouted irritably as he washed himself clean of the rain. It felt good to be male again.
Gourry and Zelgadis' eyes bugged out over the tops of their mugs as they tried to swallow. They looked at each other without putting down their coffee and spewed what was in their mouths all over the side of the bath.
"Oh, geez. I wish you guys hadn't seen that," Ranma said as he noticed Zelgadis and Gourry, "I guess I owe you the story anyway. Here goes..."
"Um, Lina, I just thought of something. Can you read ancient texts?" Gourry interrupted as Lina was skimming the Claire Bible for Zelgadis.
"Well, actually no, Gourry, but these spells are more drawn than written, look," Lina said as she held the book out for Gourry to see.
"Well, then, have you found what I need?" Zelgadis asked impatiently.
"Nope, sorry Zel, not yet." Lina flipped the page again and continued browsing.
"Aha," came a nasal voice from the doorway, "I see that you have found the ever-elusive Claire Bible for me Lina, how thoughtful."
Lina and the others turned to face the purple-haired trickster Priest. "Oooooh no, Xellos, you aren't getting this book," Lina said, shutting the book and pressing it firmly against her chest. Gourry, Zelgadis, and Amelia moved to block any attack from Xellos, but none came.
"That's fine Lina, but you won't be able to use any of the spells in there without my help anyway. But you already knew that, I'm sure. Hello Ranma, Akane," Xellos turned to acknowledge the other two in the room, respectively nodding to each.
"How did you know our names?" Akane asked.
"Ha haaa! That is a secret!" the mysterious Xellos replied.
Ranma growled, "Look, man, either you tell me who..."
Xellos held up a warning finger, "Ah ah ahh, I wouldn't threaten me if I were you, boy." The Priest then disappeared in a puff of smoke and maniacal giggles.
That night, Ranma lay between Akane and Ukyou. Ukyou had Ryoga (or P-chan) and had managed to keep him from crawling over to Akane somehow. Ranma did not sleep much however because the insane giggles still echoed in his ears.
Eventually, he got up and left the room. He went outside and peeked through Lina's window. The Claire Bible was lying open on the desk. Lina had fallen asleep beside it, one arm draped across the pages as though it were a lover. Amelia snored quietly on the bed. The two showed no signs of waking, so Ranma moved on. A noise in the bush behind him made Ranma drop into a low fighting stance.
"Relax, Ranma, it's just me, Gourry. I couldn't sleep either. I was gonna see if Lina was up. I like talking to her. Even though she hits me all the time, I still like her. I guess you had the same idea I did, huh?" Gourry said as he joined Ranma in his walk.
"Well, not really, I just wanted to see that book of hers. I thought that maybe it could cure me. I don't really want to keep changing into a girl like that, you know. And I couldn't sleep because that laugh keeps playing over and over again in my head," Ranma said as he again heard the loud giggles.
"I'm sorry Ranma. I know Xellos is creepy, but he's never really hurt any of us before," Gourry said sympathetically.
"You mean he's been with you guys before? Geez, how did you deal with him" Ranma shook his head.
"Usually, he just went away on his own. I guess I never really had to deal with him," Gourry said.
Ranma yawned, "Well, I guess our little chat made me sleepy. I'm gonna go back to my room now. See ya tomorrow, Gourry. And don't ever tell Lina about Ryoga's or my... condition, okay?"
"Sure thing Ranma, I'll see you later," Gourry said as he turned to go back to his and Zelgadis' room.
Lina stretched and sat up. Her back popped loudly, waking Princess Amelia. She was more than a little miffed. First Ranma had been watching her sleep, then Gourry had joined him at her window. Lina did not like to be watched like that.
After a very large breakfast, the small party went to search for someone to help get Ranma and Akane home. While on the road, Lina confronted Gourry and Ranma about the previous night.
"Ranma, Gourry, I don't appreciate being watched while I sleep," Lina began.
"What! Ranma, it's not enough that you slept between me and Ukyou, you just had to go look at other women, you pervert!" Akane shouted.
WHAM!!!!!
"Oww"
"Yeowww! Lina, what was that for?"
Both Gourry and Ranma had been malleted.
"Gee Akane, that works pretty well, do you mind if I keep one of these mallets?" Lina asked with a smile.
"Of course you can keep one," Akane replied, also smiling.
Ranma and Gourry struggled to their feet.
"Geez Akane, don't you ever listen to me before you hit me?" Ranma yelped, "I wasn't watching her sleep, I wanted to see that book, the Claire Bible. I thought maybe..." Ranma trailed off and went to whisper in Akane's ear, "...there was a cure that could turn me into a boy for good."
"Oh, Ranma, I didn't know, I'm sorry I hit you then." She looked down at her feet, for they had suddenly become very interesting.
"Lina, I just wanted to see if maybe you were awake. I just wanted to talk to you, I'm sorry," Gourry said, following Ranma's example.
"Oh, well then I'm sorry I hit you, too," Lina said with a smile.
Zelgadis and Amelia just rolled their eyes.
Ukyou hung some steps behind the others with P-chan. Ranma had given her Ryoga's bandanna and asked her to turn him back the first chance she got. She stepped into an alleyway when Ranma and Gourry got malleted and lost the party. She took Ryoga's clothes out of his pack and set P-chan in front of them. Then, she took some hot water and...
"Arrrgh! That's hot Ukyou!" Ryoga exclaimed once he got his voice back. Ukyou blushed. He had turned to face her without his clothes and she started to giggle. Ryoga suddenly had a terrible nosebleed.
"R-Ryoga-honey, your clothes!" she laughed. Ryoga dressed hurriedly and grabbed Ukyou by the hand.
"Come on Ukyou. We're just wasting time here anyway," Ryoga said, blushing as well.
Ukyou handed him his pack and umbrella and they set out to find Ranma again.
The dark figure slunk through the shadows, never once losing its trail. It spread its wings one last time and emerged from the shadows, human.
"Excuse me," came a sultry female voice from behind them. Ranma, Lina and the others turned around to face the source. Ranma's, Zelgadis' and Gourry's eyes bulged out. Standing there before them was the most beautiful woman they'd ever seen. At about that moment, Ukyou and Ryoga came bounding up. Ryoga's eyes, too, got wide, and his nose, again, began to bleed.
"Excuse me, but I heard that you needed help translating the Claire Bible. You are Lina Inverse, aren't you?" the woman continued.
"Yeah, how did you find out about that?" Lina asked suspiciously.
"Well, I was talking to a friend of mine, a little priest with purple hair and an annoying giggle, and he told me all about it. I happen to be able to read the ancient script. And those spells won't work without the words anyway. I would be willing to help you, for a price of course," the woman said, her hands fiddling with the tie on the collar of her cape.
Gourry and Ranma snapped out of their stupor first. Ranma said, "How do we know we can trust you?"
"Because I have every reason to believe there's something in that book that could help me. But I'm no sorceress. I need your help, Lina," she finished.
Lina looked at her companions, "Well, alright. I suppose so, but let's not talk about it here. I don't really want your purple-haired friend Xelloss to show up and take the book.
Later, as the party ate at a nearby inn, the woman revealed her name.
"I suppose I should tell you my name. I am Rinri. You have probably heard of me, seeing as how you are the great monster slayer." The woman looked down at the food lying before her, uninterested.
Lina nearly choked on her chicken wing, "WHAT! You-you're a MOZOKU! I can't work with a Mozoku!"
"I thought your reaction might be thus. Nevertheless, you have no choice. You do want to help your friends don't you?" Rinri pointed at Zelgadis and Ranma.
"Arriht. Wha ishit ewe wan?" Lina asked with a mouthful of food.
"I - I want to be human."