This song is dedicated to all that happy people. Who have real nice lives, and have no idea what it's like...
He doesn't love me.
I could see it in his eyes tonight. Before, I thought he might be playing hard to get, or - or - anything, as long as it involved being in love with me. But now I see it.
He has the most beautiful eyes, so mysterious...Mazoku eyes, yes, and not his fault. But to me they're rare and lovely gems. Whenever he looked at me with them, the world would disappear, and I would want to give up my soul for them. But tonight I could see their coldness to me. Not hatred, but certainly not love.
Odd how we went from mistrust, onto kinship, then into love. Yes, love. It was more than a stupid schoolgirl crush. Love. And I thought he felt that way too.
Where is justice here, I ask myself, sobbing into my pillow. I'd given up the justice schtick long ago, though I still pretended. But I couldn't face the idea of everyone knowing even I knew that it was all bullshit. I should have know it was when I turned to it after mother...
Biting my lip, I remember purpose. The blade glints brightly in the light, as brightly as the tears I see in the mirror.
I have the note, I've written and sealed the will...There's nothing left to do. Now I can go to my mother, into oblivion...And away from Him. Strait to the end.
Goodbye, Lina-san, Gourry-san, Zelgadis-san...I plunge the knife into my chest - into my heart. It barely hurts.
I love you, Xelloss...
The quote is from Eminem's Rock Bottom, one of his more depressing songs (YES, he has songs that aren't about Slim Shady and drugs, though he does mention the latter repeatedly in said song). It just sprang into my mind.
Zelgadis: You need some serious mental help, you know that?
Lina: cough PROZAC! cough
Anna: Arigatou, Lina-chan, but I'm not THAT good. I could have had Xelloss walk in to find out that his secret love had taken her own life. I could have made it less corny and more depressing. sighs dramatically Maa, maa.
Ameria: HOW COULD YOU KILL ME OFF?! I'm your friend Maggie's idol!
Anna: BECAUSE you're my friend Maggie's idol, Ame-chan.
Ameria: Abnd does SHE approve of this?!
Anna: Hell, yeah! She beta-read it!
Ameria: How could she?! You're as twisted as Xelloss and depressing as Valgarv. Maybe you three could go to therapy together.
Anna: Do you really want me to be under THEIR unfluence, Ame-chan? I'd be writting a PWP and kill off all the characters. Hmm...Not a bad idea..
Ameria: You're sick, you know, sick.
Anna: Arigatou! Just kidding! Besides, I'm not THAT sick.
Ameria: Are you sure?
Anna: Not really. Well, ja ne! And I want feedback, people! Douzo?