"Zelgadis-san?"
Shi: He's the blue rock-y thing.
"No Amelia, I'm still not talking to you."
"Zelgadis-san?"
Shi: He's the blue rock-y thing.
"No Amelia, I'm STILL not talking to you."
"ZELGADIS-SAN?!?"
IDC: Yes, Shi, we know. He's the blue rock-y thing.
Shi: *pout * That's my line!
"No Amelia, I'm still N - "
"JUST TALK TO HER DAMNIT!!" Lina shouted, wincing and shaking her hand after hitting his stone skin.
"...Yes, Amelia?" Zelgadis finally asked resolutely.
"I'm sorry!" Amelia proclaimed. "My actions towards you were unjust and as an Ally of Justice it is my duty to take responsibility for my actions and right the wrong that I myself have unjustly imposed upon an innocent!"
Amelia, incredibly proud of her newest speech, which sounded oddly similar to a speech she made yesterday, struck a pose, her finger pointed at nothing.
Shi: Please tell me that Amelia doesn't have a smiley on her finger.
IDC: Amelia doesn't have a smiley face on her finger.
Shi: Liar! *bonk *
IDC: Ow! It's called appeasement. It worked in 1938...No, scratch that. Shi, Amelia has a smiley on her finger.
Shi: Thought so...*shudder *
"Oi...uh...What did Amelia do?" Gourry asked slightly dumbfounded, as usual.
"GOURRY YOU JELLYFISH!" Lina shouted, pounding him into the ground, and re-injuring her already bruised hand.
Baby Valgaav bored with his own baby dreams turned outward, and giggled as Auntie Lina violently attacked Silly Blonde Male Grownup. He cooed softly as Not-so-Grownup-Grownup fell into Uncky Rock while trying to avoid the fight.
Shi: *tee hee * Uncky Rock?! That's the cutest thing I've ever heard! *giggle *
Baby Valgaav began blowing spit-bubbles. Uncky Rock seemed upset with Not-so-Grownup-Grownup. Baby Valgaav twisted trying to get comfortable in the midst of Silly-Blonde-Female-Grownup-Mommy's arms. He wondered for a minute where Uncky Xellos was, then returned to a world of Baby-Demon-Dragon dreams.
"Lina," Filia stated, struggling with a suddenly squirming Val. "We are going to be late for the contest."
"Oh, NO WE'RE NOT!" Lina shouted happily, her look changing from insane frustration to almost unhealthy giddiness. "Let's Go!" She took off leaving an Inverse shaped dust cloud in her wake.
Shi: Uncky Rock...*giggle *
IDC: Contest, ne?
Shi: Uncky Rock...heh.
"Alright Chefs! You have all been provided with the same materials. You will have the same amount of time to prepare your meals. Ready... Set...Co - "
His climatic starting speech was interrupted by an earth shattering,
"WAIT!" spoken by a female voice. The exclamation seemed to be accompanied by an unspoken, "ignore me and I will kill you!" undertone. The echoing voice reverberated down the long hallway, which connected the kitchens to the rest of the Keep. The echo increased the sinister quality effect of the voice, and caused the announcer to start trembling.
"...?" He asked.
"We're...*pant * here...*pant * to help...*pant * judge...the contest!" The small redhead who was just flying into the room wheezed slightly out of breath. A tall man with long, golden hair and a small perky looking brunette in pink slid to a halt beside her a moment later.
"You're the judges?!?" the announcer's voice cracked and wavered in stunned disbelief. The unspoken "please gods no!" was almost tangible.
The saucy redhead crossed her arms and shot him a look that convinced him that questioning her was NOT a good idea.
"It's okay! They're the people I recommended!"
The announcer breathed a sigh of relief but still looked a bit wary. He recognized the young woman who ran the pottery shop downtown and had a respectable reputation. "Well, if you vouch for them Filia-san..." he said, noticeably less concerned.
"Yippee!" The redhead shouted, jumping up and down, excitably like a cabbit on speed, while patting her stomach. "Let's eat!"
"Uhm..." One of the chefs ventured timidly, "Can we cook first?"
"Yeah, yeah, " the tiny fire-y girl motioned dismissively, "but hurry up already, we're starving!"
The announcer looked askance at the newcomers before beginning again. "Okay chefs, Readysetcook!" he said quickly before anything else could happen.
Zelgadis trudged down the hallway, he had watched his friends fly down the minute before. It was one thing to take Filia home, it was quite another to postpone looking for his cure to participate in a cooking contest! Zelgadis contemplated turning around to head out on his own, but the realization that the silliness would catch up to him eventually, it always did. The story of his life. He had a feeling that even if he did ever find his cure; he'd never be able to get away. The smell of fresh, strong coffee caused him to continue down the hallway, with a slightly glazed look. MmMmMm...coffee... He would have been extremely disturbed to see how similar his expression was to the rest of the group when they smelled food.
Shi: Uncky Rock! Tee hee. *giggle *
Lina rubbed her stomach excitedly as delicious odors began to float from each of the cooking stations. The sorceress fingered the small number 3 inscribed on her table, attempting to ignore her watering mouth and hunger pains. "Hurry up! I'm hungry!"
Amelia inhaled the sweet smell of cooking meats and vegetables and breads. MmMmM... she thought, hugging herself happily and closing her eyes, until an unjust smell wrongly assaulted her righteous nose.
Her big expressive eyes opened wide in indignation. "Eww! What is that?!?" Amelia asked in a voice made nasal from her pinched nose. Zelgadis was still ignoring her, while sitting off in a corner downing a cup of coffee a minute. Realizing he wasn't going to answer her, she turned sadly towards Gourry, who was staring blankly into the air. Amelia sighed and watched Lina conversing with the old man that was acting as the fourth judge.
"What's with that?" Lina asked the old judge gesturing to the booth witch was producing the putrid smell.
"Oh, that's D.S., the government funded chef," he replied, wrinkling his already wrinkled features.
IDC: Government funded booth? Eww... It sounds as bad as the dinning service on campus!
Shi: Uncky Rock! Hee hee hee!
IDC: Would you just GET OVER IT?!?
Shi: *blink *Umm....No! heh Uncky Rock! *giggle*
The chefs finished their meals and began to present the food to the judges in order of their tables, therefore starting with Amelia.
"Huh?!?" Lina exclaimed, "Why are you starting with her? Me! Me! Me! I'm hungry, and the enemy of all who live, if you know what's good for you, you'll start with me!"
"Umm, but she's at the first table..."one of the braver contestants ventured meekly.
Shi: Uncky Rock. *giggle*
IDC: Okay, *Bonk * that doesn't even relate to this part of the story!
Shi: Ouchie! *rubs her head * So? Uncky Rock! =Þ hee hee!
IDC: Enough already. We get the point!
Shi: Uncky Rock! Uncky Rock! *dances around with an evil grin*
IDC: *sigh*
Shi: I like annoying redundancy! ^_^
Lina: Excuse me, but the name of the fic is SLAYERS huh, not ROOMATES huh, so will you two PLEASE shut up, and get back to the story?!?
Shi: *gets a very scary evil grin and giggles maniacally* heh heh heh...*dangerous glint in her eyes*
IDC: Shi?!? Wait, what are you - ? No, really I don't want - ! That's a little drastic - Shi?!
Lina fumed, prepared to create a ruckus, when a figure so nondescript it called attention to itself trudged in, "..mutter, mutter, O.O.C, mutter, roommate, mutter..." The mumbling stranger sat down at the fifth judges table.
The chefs used the slight distraction to begin serving Amelia their masterpieces, or they TRIED to use the disturbance to feed Amelia, but Gourry intercepted them by vaulting over his table, to get at the food.
"Not without me you don't!" Lina yelled giddily, momentarily forgetting about the new judge, and jumping up to join the fray of sugar-princess, and swordsman fighting over the food.
"Oh! Oh! I haven't had this much fun in ages!" The old man shouted, using his cane to hobble over to the squabbling group of rabid starving wolfish looking judges, usually known as the Slayers.
"And thus the insanity begins anew."
Silliness-246.3
Zelgadis-0
The chimera sighed from his oasis on calm in the raging sea of his friend's pandemonium, and poured himself another cup of coffee. It was another one of those days, then again, he couldn't remember the last time it wasn't one of those days. He shrugged, and watched the chaos with indifferent eyes.
"Oh...I'm so sorry we don't have anything left for you to try..."The brave contestant from before ventured half-regrettably, half-fearfully to the unremarkable looking person. After all, appearances could be deceiving; who would guess a person so tiny as that Lina person could eat twice her body weight. She might have looked harmless enough but you never knew.
"I have some left!" the government worker D.S. called.
The stranger paled slightly. "No, that is quite all right..." she intoned in a voice just barely monotone enough not to be pretentious. "I already know the winner. Congratulations Chef 4."
The entire group of energetic eaters paused in their frantic quest to eat the most food. "What? How'd you know that's who I was going to pick?" Amelia said incredulously.
"Me too..." Lina narrowed her eyes suspiciously at judge 5. In her experience, people who knew things they couldn't possibly know, were almost always trouble.
"And me," Gourry mentioned, not to be left out, between chewing.
"Chef 4 is definitely the best one!" The old man exclaimed, jumping up and down waving his cane madly. "How did you know if you didn't eat anything?"
"That's just how it happens." The odd in her normal-ness judge commented blandly while gesturing to her huge bag almost bursting with papers.
"Uh, okay, the winner is chef 4!...I guess..." The announcer announced.
"Umm, excuse me," Lina tapped judge 5 on the shoulder. "How did you know that?" She demanded.
"I know everything," was the emotionless reply.
"REALLY?!?" Lina asked, her eyes shinning excitedly.
Judge 5 shrugged. "Eh...What can you do?"
Lina got that, evil "You've got something I want" look in her eyes, and she started rubbing her hands greedily. "Heh...Would you like to travel with us?" Her whole being radiated a "Just got paid to eat-found the key to the puzzle and possible hordes of treasure" aura.
"No. Not really, but I have to. This is the part where I start to lead you to the Really Really Old Wishing Thing-y." She sighed unenthusiastically.
Lina began her incredibly, "Happy Dance," the one where she spins around on one toe, and she accidentally hugged Xellos as he chose that exact moment and location to appear.
"Why Lina-chan, I didn't know you cared!" One of his amethyst eyes sparkled merrily at her in a wink.
Lina sputtered and blushed, "You're lucky I'm having too good'a day to fireball your grinning ass!" she back away and made a token swat at his chest.
For a very brief flickering moment the demon looked vaguely disappointed, then quirked a purple eyebrow as he noticed the noticeably nondescript stranger reluctantly leaning over to pick up her bulging bag, and intricate staff which had been propped haplessly against her chair.
"Enter the demon," She said dully, making a small check on a seemingly random paper pulled out of the bag; then she replaced it without looking where it ended up. "This is where I tell you my name is Iria, and then we leave."
The others looked at each other with similar puzzled expressions, then shrugged, figuring that if she knew how to get where they were going, they could deal with her eccentricities.
Baby Valgaav watched from his spot in the doorway to Filia's pottery shop, as Uncky Xellos, Auntie Lina, Uncky Rock, Silly Blonde Male Grownup, Not-so-Grownup-Grownup, and New Grownup left. He tried to struggle out of damn Silly Blonde Grownup Mommy's arms, but he wasn't big enough. "I want to go too dammit! They're much more fun!" He shouted in baby speak, so it came out more like "Wa wi da it mo un!" Once again Val cursed his fucking lack of vocabulary. Silly Blonde Grownup Mommy never let him do half the fun stuff Uncky Xellos did...