Okay, first off this is probably one of the stupidest and most pointless things I've ever written. Sometimes bizarre little scenes pop into my head and if I think they're worth it, I write them down. Sometimes I find a use for them, but most of the time they just sort of sit there like a lump and go nowhere. This is one of those, but I was kinda happy with it anyway. I dunno. Just so you know, I have no intention of ever finishing it, it's just a random bit of silliness I thought I'd throw up somewhere. Oh, and it's heavily Lina/Zel biased. Not all my stuff is, just the stuff I feel is worth posting. ^_^ Okay, you've been warned! ^_^
I feel I should mention before I righteously flamed, that I do not, nor have I ever thought that the Mazoku are involved in any way with the Jehovah's Witnesses, nor that said religion, or in fact any religions are evil or associated with evil. It just struck me as something Xellos might do if he was bored. ^_^
It was a bright summer morning, early enough to escape the midday heat and long shadows still reached towards the western horizon when Zelgadis Greywers slipped into his hotspring. He let out a long sigh of utter contentment and folded his hands behind his head, at total peace. This was the life. No bandits to worry about, no Mazoku dark lords, no beings from another planet trying to destroy the world.... that was what Lina was for. But Lina wasn't awake, she never got up this early. This was Zel's personal time to himself before the chaos that was Lina Inverse inflicted itself upon the world for the day.
Oh he still loved her, the engagement ring that never left her finger on pain of death was proof enough of that. But a man needed his time alone, to think, ruminate on things, just have some quiet time.
"Good morning, Zel." Lina stood a few feet from where his back had been turned a moment before, a platter of food resting on the fingertips of one hand, and wearing nothing but an apron, her ring, and a cocky smirk.
Then again, he retracted, there was something to be said for the company of your loved ones. "Great googley-moogley!" Well, okay, that wasn't really what he said but for the sake of our more sensitive readers we'll just pretend.
"Care for some breakfast, dear?" Lina leaned over to offer him a close-up view of the food and a bird's-eye view of her cleavage. To his credit he actually managed to take a look at the plate in some mild attempt appeasing the gods of cuisine.
"Oh honey, you cooked." 'Cooked' being an understatement of the first order. Lina always firmly asserted that her food was blackened for taste, a fact that no one disputed should they wish to join it.
"What's that mean?" The come-hither twinkle that had been in her blood-colored eyes earlier had been replaced by the glimmer of something far more dangerous.
"Uhh... I meant that you didn't have to go through all that trouble?"
She frowned.
He frowned back. "Oh knock it off, Lina, like it wasn't just a formality anyway." Before she could retaliate in any form he pulled her into the water with a startled squawk. Sputtering and looking adorably startled with her thick bangs covering her face she still managed to lob off a halfhearted Flare Arrow in his general direction. He easily avoided it and lunged for her, pinning her arms to her sides and sending them both under water again. After a brief struggle they came up for air, Lina glowering and sinking the lower half of her face below the surface again, Zel smirking triumphantly.
"Aww, c'mon, Lina," he purred condescendingly, "you can't win them all." He scooted his way over to where she pouted and wrapped his arms around her waist, forcing her to sit up straight. He nuzzled her jaw and dropped his fingers down her spine to the apron strings. Odd, they seemed to have been knotted and now that they were wet it would be next to impossible to get undone. Her jawline and the rest of her was temporarily forgotten as he peered over her shoulder to focus his full attention on the puzzle. Her chest tickled against his in silent laughter at his frustration and he finally gave up.
"Lina, wh - " He drew back to ask her what she was playing at and stopped short when she spit a mouthful of water in his face. Free of her surprise gift she barker her laughter for all to hear, scaring a flock of finches out of a nearby tree in the process.
"BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!! You should see your face! MWAAHAAHAA!!"
Attempting to salvage at least one shred of dignity, he flicked a wet lock of hair from his eye, looked calmly at her giggling form, and jumped her. Things got very interesting for a few minutes and they both discovered that an apron really wasn't difficult to work around.
"Excuse me, folks, I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to spread the news," said a new voice from the viscinity of the walkway. Two pairs of eyes bugged out of reddening faces as they stared at their visitor, who continued as if nothing was happening. "My my, that's an interesting form of foreplay you two have been engaging in. I won't even ask about this." He held up a charred and now soggy remnant of what had at one point passed for a small trout.
"GLAAAHHH!!!" Lina answered as she dove for the apron they had just managed to get off moments earlier. Zelgadis just fumed.
"Have I come at a bad time?" Xellos asked as innocently as possible for an agent of darkness. "I always seem to catch them in the bath."
"WHAT DO YOU WANT??"
The purple-haired bastard blinked, still in keeping with the charade. "Why to spread the joy of religion, of course. Would either of you be interested in my brochure, 'Shooting From the Watchtower'? It gives a very comprehensive overview of being a Mazoku and tips for convertin - glurk!"
Lina had struggled back into the apron and was now strangling the seven hells from the mysterious priest.
"Why don't you tell us why you're really here, Xellos?" Zel scowled from the spring. His fiancee finally dropped the dark priest on the lawn and scooted into the house to find some real clothing.
"Because," he coughed, sitting up and checking his throat for damage even though he really didn't need to, "this was much more entertaining." Then he sat up straighter, really noticing Zelgadis for the first time. "My my, this is new, Zelgadis-san," he clucked approvingly, sending Zel to fit as much of his body underwater as he could while still keeping an eye on the trickster. "When did this happen?"
"About the same time this did." Lina stated coldly behind him. He turned to find her scowling and fully clothed, complete with a large, ornate-and-yet-somehow-not-quite-gaudy ring on her left hand. Which she promptly used to punch him in the head.
While Xellos is taking a nap, we feel that now would be the ideal time to explain what he was talking about. You see, several months ago, Zelgadis and Lina found the cure he had been looking for in a really obvious and silly place and everyone involved felt rather dumb and relieved all at the same time. A larger version of searching your entire house for the pencil that was behind your ear the whole time. Take note, all of you, check behind the fridge first the next time you lose something, you find the damnedest things back there.
We will now wait for you to go back and re-read the story, this time picturing Zelgadis as a human, due to the fact that the author neglected to mention this twist earlier. The management apologizes for the inconvenience.
Muzak version of 'Yesterday' by the Beatles plays for a bit.
#2 | Fanfiction