Zelgadis sat calmly drinking coffee, while the ravenous threesome devoured more food than was normally served at the restaurant in a week. Then, demanded seconds.
Suddenly his (relative) peace was broken by a screech. This time, it wasn't the restaurant staff. "NAMAGOMI!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't care a bit, do you?" Xelloss came into view, chased by a furious, mace-wielding Filia.
"A promise is a promise, Filia."
"You can't hold me to it, if you're dead."
"You ARE feeling playful!" Xelloss smiled cheerily as he phased away from view.
Amelia looked up from her food, "Those two sure are acting funny. I wonder what they're arguing about now?" Actually, since her mouth was full, it sounded more like: "mostuserharhakinfuny. Imunhermahmheyrharringbowtmow." Fortunately, her companions were more or less used to it and got the point.
"I don't know, but it sounded scary." Lina replied, likewise mumbling around her food, and stealing a chicken leg from Amelia while she wasn't looking.
"They sure like arguing with each other." Gourry observed "Sorta like Lina and me. Do you think they like each other?"
Lina smacked him on the head. "Of course not. What are you talking about? Can't you remember they hate each other?????"
"Owwww. I'm sorry."
"Geez, with how much they fight you'd think you could remember THAT. Xelloss and Filia haven't gotten along since the day they met!" Lina sighed.
"My, my, Filia. We're gone for a few minutes and already they're gossiping about us!" Xelloss phased into view, his arm around a very angry and very surprised-looking Filia. He had several rapidly healing mace dents and looked disturbingly pleased about it. "I have wonderful news, everyone!" Xelloss grinned even wider than had previously been thought possible. "Filia and I are getting married!!!"
Imagine every shocked face you have seen in Slayers and combine then all into Lina, Amelia, and Zelgadis' statements. Gourry was either completely oblivious, or he had been expecting this, and therefore wasn't fazed. Probably a bit of both. Anyway, there was still food on the table.
"Hey, Lina. Are you going to eat that sausage or can I have it?" Gourry reached for the sausage, and then noticed that something was up. "Huh?? What's wrong?"
Xelloss leaned over to inspect the back of Lina's head, her face having just hit the table. Hard. "Lina appears to be just a little surprised by my news."
"What news? ... Hey, did you and Filia finally get together? That's nice! Now what did you say is wrong with Lina?"
Xelloss gaped, not quite knowing how to respond, but then Filia finally remembered how to speak. Or more precisely, yell.
"AAAAAHHHH!!!! XELLOSS!!! What are you doing???"
"You want to invite our friends to our wedding, don't you?" Filia stopped again, her mind trying, and failing, to cope with that word. "Now, we'll need some help for the wedding." Just mentioning that word got a most interesting mix of emotions from the room. And Xelloss knew how to make it even better. "Let's see... Zelgadis, buddy, will you be my best man. Amelia, you can be the bridesmaid. Lina, you'll make an adorable flower girl. And Gourry... I guess you can be the ring bearer if you don't lose the rings."
Things erupted into chaos.
"I'm the Flower Girl!!!! WHAT!!" Lina jumped up brandishing her fist and showing fangs. "Do I LOOK like a Flower Girl????"
Zel: "HEY! I don't want to be your best man. I hate you! And DON'T call me ‘buddy.'"
Amelia: "Are you guys really serious??? Xelloss, if this is a joke, then in the name of TRUE LOVE, I will punish you."
Gourry: "Huh? Huh??"
Lina: "I am NOT throwing stupid flowers around! Why can't Amelia be the flower girl? It fits her better anyway."
Zel: "I don't want anything to do with this. You can't be serious. You hate each other!!!"
Amelia: "Lina-san, you're just jealous. Jealousy is evil, and that's exactly what Xelloss wants."
Lina: "Am not. I don't want any part of this either!"
Xelloss: What fun!!! "Come on. We have to start getting ready!"
Amelia: "Oh no! What will I wear? I need to go shopping!!!!
Xelloss: "Don't worry about that. I'll take care of everything! Now, let's see. First, I'll get the clothes, then I'll take care of the other arrangements." What am I going to tell Zelas?! This isn't quite what I told her I was planning. "Wait here." Xelloss phased out, leaving a very shocked Filia who was still having trouble with that word "wedding...."
Hundreds of miles away on WolfPack Island, Zelas sat quietly sipping wine and smoking a cigarette. (Tsk tsk. Such bad habits!) She seemed deep in thought and had a slightly concerned look on her face. "Xelloss. What am I going to do with you?" she mumbled to herself. Suddenly, the object of her concern appeared before her.
Xelloss seemed unusually cheerful, even for the Trickster Priest. "Hallo, Lord-Beastmaster! I have wonderful news for you! Things are going well with Filia-chan!"
"Filia? Ah, yes. That dragon-maiden you thought you might be able to use. I believe you hoped to seduce her and use her against the other dragons. Have you succeeded?" Zelas calmly took another sip of her wine.
Xelloss' smile dimmed somewhat. "Well, not quite yet. But very soon! You see..." He began rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Xelloss, you're acting very strangely. What is wrong with you?" Zelas looked at him closely, her concern becoming apparent again.
"Well... You see... I have something to ask you. ... Mistress, will you come to my wedding? You have to come. We're getting married, you see, and I can't get married without you there...," he let out in a rush.
"Wait a minute!" Zelas hastily set down her wine glass. "I thought you were going to seduce her, not marry her."
"Well tonight I should get to...." Xelloss smiled in anticipation.
"Are you sure you still have this under control?" Zelas' eyes narrowed.
"What's the big deal? Marriage means nothing to a mazoku. But a Ryuzoku, to her it will mean everything. Of course, I know what I'm doing! You don't think I'm in love with her, do you???" Xelloss exclaimed.
That's exactly what I think, but he's still trying to deny it. "Very well. I guess that would be ridiculous." The damage is already done. I guess I'll just have to keep a close eye on things. This should prove interesting.
"Oh, you should have SEEN the way I tricked her!!! I can't believe she fell for that old contest trick!" Xelloss started laughing "And the look on her face when I asked her to sleep with me!" Zelas rolled her eyes as Xelloss recounted his morning exploits.
Back at the restaurant, Lina was still protesting her assigned role. "Flower girls are supposed to be cute. I'm a beautiful sorcery genius extraordinaire. I'm the bandit killer. I've defeated Mazoku lords. I Dragon Slave people who argue with me. I AM NOT CUTE!!" Lina was rapidly working herself into a real fit, and everyone with any sense was taking precautions. However, this made little impression on Filia, who was still staring at the spot where Xelloss had disappeared. Suddenly, the dragon maiden's mind simply gave up on trying to make sense of the situation, and Filia collapsed to the floor.
"Filia-san!!" Amelia cried out. "Lina-san! We need to help Filia-san!"
"Did you say something?" Lina glared dangerously at the unfortunate princess, before noticing Filia sprawled on the floor. "Oh, brother!" They propped the limp dragon maiden in a chair.
"Gosh, she seems to be taking this hard!" Amelia said.
"Wouldn't you take it hard, if Xelloss played a joke like this on you?" Zelgadis asked.
"Is it just a joke then?" Amelia saw Filia beginning to wake up. "Filia, are you ok? I can't believe Xelloss would do something like this. To take advantage of an innocent dragon maiden and toy with her emotions like this. He is mocking the very image of True Love, and I will punish him!!!" Amelia cried, leaping onto the table. "Uh... now, where is he?"
"I'm afraid it's not a joke." Filia sighed.
"WHAT??"
"No. I made a deal, and I must keep my word. I have to marry him. Ohhhh," Filia moaned and put her head in her lap. "How could this have happened??? I'm getting married to that wretched, deceiving Namagomi!! The slayer of my people. He's a Mazoku!!!! I'm disgraced! No Ryuzoku will ever speak to me again."
"How did it happen?" Zelgadis inquired earnestly. "Maybe, we can find a way out of it." He didn't look too optimistic. If that mazoku is good at something, it's tricking people and getting his way.
"Maybe." Filia looked up hopefully and began to describe the contest. However, as soon she got to the part where Xelloss had decided to entertain himself during the hour wait, she faltered. Just thinking about what happened made her blush. She trailed off into a mumble, and then cried out, "It's hopeless!"
"Filia, if you don't even tell us what happened, then how can we help you?" Zelgadis countered.
"It's just that he..."
"Look, we already know what a fruitcake he is. Just tell us how you lost," Zelgadis pressed.
"Well, he... he started KISSING ME!!!"
"Did you smash him?" Lina asked eagerly.
"Not exactly," Filia admitted.
"Why not??? He deserves it!" Lina recalled another time that demon had overstepped his bounds. It was an incident for which she hadn't yet had an opportunity for revenge.
"What happened next?" Zel asked again.
"Well, he kept on kissing me. I tried so hard to ignore him. I didn't want to lose to that miserable Mazoku! But, he just kept kissing me..." Filia blushed warmly as she remembered. "And then, when he said he loved me...."
"That's odd." Zelgadis frowned. "Xelloss may be a trickster, but he doesn't lie."
"So, what happened?" Amelia urged.
"I... I... I kissed him back." Filia looked down, her cheeks very red.
"How romantic!!!!" Amelia cried, little hearts in her eyes. "Zelgadis-san!" she cried, latching onto him. "Isn't that just the most romantic thing you ever heard?"
Zel blushed and turned away. "Amelia, that doesn't help us get Filia out of this."