Lina appeared in the main room of Gourry's house. This was such a perfect chance. It was all Hallow's Night, better known as the night of Halloween, and her powers and influence in this world were at their peak, while Zelgadis' were at an all time low. The doors between hell and earth were for once wider open than the ones between earth and heaven. Lina grinned widely.
This is the perfect chance...
Her plan was perfect. If she was as powerful as she thought...no, as she knew she was, she could pull this off. Gourry would go straight to hell, and she'd get her promotion. It was such a perfect, perfect chance.
Lina laughed aloud as she spun about the room. Why not? No one could hear her. Zelgadis couldn't do anything. All he would be was the whisper of Gourry's concience, faintly heard if at all. She would be as loud as day, assuring him he was correct and everything would be fine, just do this, and do it now! Lina was bursting with glee. She wouldn't die, she wouldn't be tortured, she wouldn't fail. She had all of Gourry's life to continue to work for his soul, yes, but she wouldn't fail this perfect chance. And the younger the soul, the better. Lina would have him, he'd be cast into hell and...
And what? Have to go through the exact same thing she did? Have to take another's life to buy his own?
Lina shook her head. She didn't need to think about it. Why did she have to do anything for the world? It had never one anything for her. She didn't care about anyone else, much less some stupid idiot. Every man for himself, right? Right?
Her hands stained scarlet with his blood. "No!" She cried, turning away from the body. "No!! I don't want to do this!"
Lina shook her head. It was a dream, idiot, She thought to herself. Get over it. You won't get a chance like this for a very, very long time. Don't waste it with second thoughts, or you'll wish to hell you'd done it when you could. Lina steeled herself and walked towards the room where Gourry and Syphiel were talking. Perfect. Perfect perfect perfect. Lina slipped into the kitchen.
Lessee...a bit of orange juice in her glass, a bit of orange juice in his glass, a whoooooooole lot of alcohol in his glass... Alcohol tended to take away inhibitions, tended to make a person far less rational and far more stupid than they usually were. And since this was her own chemical recipe, a little went a long way. A long, long way. As in, a pint was worth about two liters in usual alcohol.
"What are you doing?"
Lina jumped, and a wave of guilt washed over her, despite her best efforts not to care. You're a demon, for heavens sake!! This is normal conduct! Why are you ashamed? You wouldn't be ashamed of anything to anyone...except this. To him.
He has nothing to do with it! I'm fine! I don't care!
Oh, of course. A snide voice in the back of her head sneered. You know it. You're ashamed to be like this. You never cared about what you were, what you did, until him. You only cared what you got. Now, your embarrassed to be carrying out your damn Duty!
I don't care whether he approves or not!
Sure. But the voice was silent, knowing she knew it was right.
"What are you doing?" He repeated. "Why are messing with?" His eyes met hers.
Don't fall for him!
"I was...I was just..."
Don't fall for him!!
It was no use. His diamond eyes had her locked in them, she didn't want to give him a reason to hate her. What would happen to him, if she succeeded?
A lot less horrible than what will happen to you!! He comes from heaven, idiot!
"I...um..."
"What were you doing?" Zelgadis was looking at her suspiciously. Damn, she hated when he looked at her like she was getting ready to try something...most of all because she usually was...
"I..."
REMEMBER WHAT APPENED LAST TIME!!! LAST TIME YOU FELL IN LOVE!
Lina's iron walls on her heart slammed shut. Zelgadis moved back unconsciously from her as her eyes froze over, her stature less guilty, and her teeth began to show as a slow, catlike smile spread across her features.
"None of you business, Angel." She grinned and finished mixing the alcohol with the drinks and set them out where someone could easily find them. Either one that found them first would think the other had set them out and forgotten about them.
"Lina. You're not going to..."
"And why wouldn't I?" Lina cocked an eyebrow at him, smiling nastily. "It's my job, Angel."
"Stop calling me that. And you're not like the others of your kind. You're special."
"Who says I'm trying anything?"
Zelgadis glared at her. "I know as well as you do how our influence here is affected tonight."
She shrugged. "So?"
"What are you planning to do?"
She grinned. "You're not going to find out. Not that it matters. You can't do a thing. You're nothing but a wisp of smoke, tonight, Zelgadis. And I'll be finished here far before midnight." She grinned. "You may as well go home. There's nothing you can do."
"I'm not going home."
"Feel free to watch the show then." She walked into the room to watch the two young lovers talk.
"I will." She turned, surprised, to look at him. His eyes were heard. Somewhere, in the iron confines on her heart, some part of her flinched to see him look at her like that. but she ignored it.
"I'm going to sit right here, and watch you do this. Whatever you're planning on him doing, and naïve as I am, I think I can guess, I'm going to sit here and watch you do it." Zelgadis glared at her. "If you can do this, hurt him and her like that, with me watching, you really are irredeemable. You really are the evil being everyone says you are."
Lina shrugged. "Have fun. I'm going to get my job done." She put Zelgadis resolutely out of her mind and concentrated on getting Gourry to concentrate on certain things.
Isn't she lovely? She whispered in his ear, guiding his eyes towards Syphiel's cleavage. Isn't she beautiful? Gourry had to admit to herself she was.
Isn't she so damn sexy?
"Gourry?" gourry's head snapped up to smile cheerfull at Syphiel.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
"Of course, Syphiel. Don't worry about me." Gourry replied. Lina grinned. She looks tired. Why don't you get the drinks you poured earlier? Gourry didn't remember the drinks until now, but that was hardly new. He tended to be very forgetful.
"Sylphiel? Would you like some..."
Orange juice.
"Orange juice?" he smiled.
Syphiel smiled back. "I'd love some. Thank you, Gourry." She started to get up. "Would you like some help?"
No!
"No!" Syphiel looked up startledly at him.
You don't want her troubling herself, Gourry.
"I mean, I don't want you to trouble yourself. Don't worry about it."
Syphiel smiled. "You're such a sweetheart, Gourry. I love you."
He smiled. "And I you. Hold on, I'll be right back."
Lina grinned. Gourry was pretty plastered, and luckily for her he didn't act it. He was just more agonizingly stupid than usual. Syphiel didn't seem to mind, but then, Syphiel didn't seem to mind much at all. She rejoiced inwardly. It was half finished already.
Ask her if she'd like to rest.
"Syphiel? Would you like to go to bed now?" It was getting late. She was probably tired.
Syphiel nodded. "Yes, I am rather tired?"
"Let me help you there."
Up the stairs, around the corner, to the guestroom...
NOW!
Take her!
Gourry moved to kiss Syphiel. She returned it. Gourry held her tight. She put her arms around his neck. Gourry began removing her blouse...
"What are you doing???" Syphiel backed away quickly. "Gourry? Are you feeling alright?"
Don't sway, don't look like you're drunk...
"I'm fine Syphiel. Why?" He grinned. "Gods, you look absolutely stunning tonight." He moved towards her again.
Syphiel was unimpressed. "What's gotten into you?" She asked, stepping back.
You just love her. What's wrong with that?
"Nothing Syphiel. I just love you. What's wrong with that?"
"What...why were you..."
Isn't that what people n love do?
"Isn't that what people in love do?"
Syphiel wasn't really certain how to react. "But I don't want to - "
Doesn't she love you?
"Don't you love me?" Gourry gave her the puppy dog eyes of death. Lina looked over to where Zelgadis stood glowering against the wall. She stuck out her tongue at him. See if you can stop me, dammit. I'm getting myslef out of that hellhole and I don't care what I have to do to do it.
"Of course I do, Gourry, I just want to wait...until I marry for that..."
"Well, in that case, will you marry me?"
Syphiel glared at him. The first time she'd glared at him, ever.
"Marriage isn't a license for sex, Gourry. I don't think you're taking it seriously."
She's going to leave you!
"You want to leave me?"
"No, Gourry, I don't - " Syphiel was at a loss for words. "Where did you get this idea, anyway? You'd never do this on your own. Were you listening to your teammates again?"
Oh, so now you're too stupid to think for yourself?
"Oh, so I'm too stupid to think for myself?" Gourry snapped.
"No, Gourry, I didn't mean - "
You know perfectly well what she meant!
"I know perfectly well what you meant!" He sulked. Syphiel wasn't sure what to do about such un-Gourrylike behavior.
"No, Gourry..."
You know she'll love it as much as you will. She's just shy. Lina waited for that information to process. All you have to do is get her started. She'll thank you for it, later.
Gourry's small, alcohol fogged mind rebelled. I don't think she'd like that... There was a feeling of the utter wrongless, the evil in that suggestion I can't do that...
"Wonderful going Gourry," Zelgadis cheered quietly. "You're great. Be yourself, don't listen to her!"
"Shut up!" Lina snapped. "Stay outta this, asshole. I'm going to pay my way outta here with his soul, and you're not going to stop me."
"You could come with us," Zelgadis said softly. Lina caught the unspoken "me" in that "we". No, No. She wouldn't let him talk her out of this. She shook her head.
"Of course, like they'd accept me. No way, angel-boy. I'm going to do this my way.
"You don't have to do - "
"yes I DO!!" Lina snapped. "Don't try to talk me out of this, I know what I'm supposed to do. And that does not include falling in love with some angel and getting myself screwed over in the process!" She turned back to Gourry.
If you don't, she's going to leave you!
...Leave me...
Leave you! TAKE HER!! NOW!!!
Gourry grabbed Syphiel by her shoulders. Zelgadis stared.
"Gourry, STOP!!!" Zelgadis cried, at his side as Syphiel screamed. "Gourry, you know this is wrong!! "Gourry, you know this is wrong!! You know this!! Don't ruin your life as well as hers! Gourry!!"
Lina stared at Syphiel's face. She couldn't move anymore. Zelgadis turned to her. "Lina, stop this!! Stop this now!!"
Syphiel, her face so full of hurt and betrayal...
"You're in hell, Lina."
"Xellos?" Lina turned to see Xellos standing behind her. "Xellos! Oh god, this truck, it hit me and I thought I was dead and - "
"You are dead, Lina. I killed you."
Lina pulled back. "You...you what?"
"I killed you Lina. You're in hell, now." He smiled, eyes fixed on her. "You gave us your soul the moment you gave up god. You're damned, Lina. Damned to hell."
Lina stared into his eyes, where her own face was reflected back at her.her face, full of -
Shypiel stared at Gourry wide eyed, eyes full of -
Betrayal,
Fear,
Hurt,
Pain,
Disbelief,
Denial,
Her
heart
shattering
into
a million
pieces...
Lina screamed and broke all control on Gourry. He shook his head to clear the remaining alcohol haze, then recoiled fiercely from the girl staring at him with eyes wide in fear.
I can't, I can't...
Dammit! You gave up the greatest chance you've ever had!! The only one this good you'll ever have!
I don't care!
You'd rather be utterly destroyed? Is that it?
YES!!
She'd almost done to another what had been done to her. She almost ripped away from Syphiel what was most dear, and trusted to her... She'd almost ruined Gourry's life now and forever...how could she do that? And still justify being angry at Xellos?
How could she look at herself in the mirror in the morning? How could she bear the guilt?
Lina slumped to the ground.
Gourry did the same, staring at his hands in disbeleif.
Shypiel looked up at him. He shook.
"I won't say I'm sorry." He whispered. Syphiel looked hurt, confused at the remark. He shook his head. "Sorry isn't going to come even close to atoning for what I almost did." He trembled slightly, unable to look at her. "What I just almost did...
Shyphiel moved towards him and put a hand on his forehead and immediately pulled back. "Gourry, you're burning up!!"
"Syphiel, I - "
Shyphiel stood and wrapped her dignity about her like a cloak. "Gourry, you smell like alcohol. I don't know what you've been doing, but you're not well. Lets get you to bed."
Gourry took on the meek quality he so usuall did with her. "Yes, Syphiel."
She smiled. "That's the Gourry I love. I'll help you if you won't pounce me again."
"I promise with all my heart."
"Good." They struggled to get him up the stairs.
Zelgadis turned to Lina. He sat down beside her and was silent.
"what do you want."
"I'm proud of you."
"You would be. I don't even see what there is to be proud of." Lina said, not looking at him. "I would've done it anyway if I wasn't such a weakling."
"What you did took courage, Lina." Zelgadis said softly. He winced at how corny this was all turning out, but it was what she needed to hear, however much she didn't believe she wanted to. "Not many could have stopped like that."
"I stopped because I was afraid."
"You stopped because it was wrong."
Lina leapt to her feet and glared at him. "How would you know?" She snapped. "How would you know what's so special about me? Why would you care? No one careas about me, not even the ones who made me!" Lina moved away from the door and away from Zelgadis in a defensive stance. "It's all you, you, YOU! You're making me feel this way! You're making me question what I'm meant to do! You're making me cry myself to sleep, wake myself up with nightmares!"
"I don't try to. And it's you, too. I'm nothing special."
"You're LYING!" Lina yelled, backing up until her legs hit the bed. She glared at him and bared her teeth. "You just want me to conform, so no one wants me! Not your holier than thou angels, and not my demons either! You want me destroyed! You're here to do your job, and nothing more!"
"I'm not." He advanced on her. She felt her resolve crumbling. The iron walls started to rust through.
"You are too!! Just like I was here to do mine!"
"I want to help you, Lina." He continued moving towards her, she pressed up against the quilt and glared at him. 'Why won't you let us? Why won't you let me?"
"Your help all comes too late. Where were you when Xellos killed me? Were were you when my parents were so awful? Where were you in my foster home? You certainly weren't with me. You certainly didn't help me then. It's too damn late now!"
"You've said his before."
"Truth bears repeating, dammit!" Zelgadis was right in front of her.
"I repeat; I want to help you." He smiled softly. Lina wanted to melt far more than she would admit. "It's never too late. Never. And I'm sorry we weren't there when you needed us then. But I'm here when you need me now." He held out a hand to her. "Please?"
Maybe it was the tone of his pleading voice, maybe it was to begging look in his eyes. Maybe it was the imploring look on his face.
Or maybe it was the little voice that old her he needed someone as much as she did...
Lina fell forward into Zelgadis' arms, crying loose all her worries, her pain, her lonliness and terror. She cried and cried all the unshed tears she had ever had. Tears shed alone are not truly shed. They hide in your soul and wait for teir next chance. Sometimes they burn, if they hurt enough, and they will urn your heart. But no heart or soul is ever broken, ever hurt beyond mending. No soul is ever ruined, ever lost. They're only damaged.
Every soul, no matter how stained, hurt, and shattered, can heal.
Zelgadis held Lina as she cried, and listened to her tears. He offered his patience, his support, his care. He offered his strenght, his soldity, his presence.
And he offered something else, something Lina didn't even see, but took anyway, unknowingly.
He offered his love.