Chapter 3

Lina glared at Zelgadis, who was avidly watching her eat. She threw down her spoon.

"What are you staring at me for?"

Zelgadis gave a slow, catlike smile. "You look lovely when you're mad, did you kno - OW!"

Lina withdrew her fist and glared at him. "I told you, stop coming on to me! It didn't work two weeks ago and it won't work now!"

Zelgadis sighed heavily but continued to stare at her. Lina started to edge away. Admirers were all well and good, but not the kind that look at you as if you're going to be their next meal. There was a distinct hunger in his eyes and she definitely didn't like that.

Zelgadis, on the other hand, couldn't help it. Lina was fascinating. So intelligent, so fiery, so... different. For instance, she threw everything a woman was supposed to be to the wind. She didn't care about her hair, the way she dressed, she treated eating as if it was a national sport. She could cast better than a hell of a lot of the male mages Zelgadis had run across, and had fun doing it, too. Lina was a breath of fresh air, and was the only woman, as previously said, that didn't fall into bed with him after a second's notice. Zelgadis simply stared at her.

Lina fidgeted under Zelgadis' stare. She didn't like it one bit. On the one hand, she was vaguely flattered. On the other...

What happened if he got too hungry?

Ohhh, she didn't like that idea.

"Look," She said, standing up. "We'll stay at a nice inn tonight, okay?"


"That way you won't have to worry about where the girls have been." Lina stated, standing up abruptly. I don't want to be the most safe girl around if you go off the deep end...

Zelgadis brightened considerably. She grinned.

At least I made him happy.

Lina looked at her money purse and nearly cried. That nice hotel had taken a lot of cash. She slumped into one of the chairs and stared at the ceiling. If there was one thing she hated more than just plain stupid people, it was losing money.

Zelgadis slinked over. "Aww, poor Lina, you did this for me," He purred. "Lemme cheer you up..."

Lina hit him on the head with the money purse. "I came here so you'd stop propositioning ME!" She screeched. She didn't like the way her stomach tensed up when he did that; it was distracting verging on the edge of outright seduction, and she didn't like how close he was getting.

So she beat him up. Stopped him cold.

His face took on one of a hurt puppy and he sulked. "Don't you like me?"

"No. I just lost a lot of money and..." Lina paused. Zel looked curious. Lina looked over Zelgadis. Zelgadis looked a bit nervous.

"Umm... Lina, what are you doing?"

Lina grinned hungrily. Zel didn't like that look one little bit.

"How much money do you think some of the women down there would pay for you?"

Zelgadis' mouth dropped open. "You can't be serious."

Lina grinned and closed it for him. "Oh yes I can. You're going to screw them anyway, right? So you might as well get some money from it. Besides," Lina's face screwed up and her eyes got big and tear filled. "I went to all this trouble for you! I even spent a ton of my hard earned - "

" - Stolen."

" - Money, just so you could be at a decent place where you wouldn't have to worry about disgusting... umm..." Lina decided she was loosing the mood. So she promptly burst into tears. "No one ever cares about me! Only what I can do for them! WAHHHH!!"

Zelgadis, who was trained and grew up in a world where you either tumble them into bed, seduce them, or else act really really sexy, had no idea how to deal with this.

If you're lost, fall back on square one.

"Lina, of course I care about you... you're absolutely fascinating."

Lina sniffed. "I am?"

He purred. Lina swallowed hard. He actually purred. It was strangely enticing...

Of course, she'd owned cats. She knew about things that purr.

Don't get it? Okay, look. I'm gonna tell you a thing or two about cats. If they were ugly, we would hate them. They're vicious, cruel, nasty little animals. They have hair you want to stroke, and they look lovely and graceful, but they play with their food, they chase mice around until their heart bursts, they eat baby bunnies still alive. Cats are truly evil creatures.

Don't get me wrong, I love cats. But only because I'm bigger than them.

So Lina knew about cats. And Zelgadis was bigger than her.


She smashed him in the head with a book and kicked him out the door. He landed on his rear.

"And stay out! I'm sure you can find someone else's room to sleep in tonight!" She yelled out the door, sticking out her tongue. It crossed Zelgadis' mind to comment on that, but he would only get something else thrown at him. "Pervert!" And slammed the door in his face.

Zelgadis sulked down to the main room. Well, fine. See if he cared. He was going to have fun tonight, dammit.

He walked into the commons room. Word about the gorgeous as a god male and it was full of women. He lounged against the wall and announced;

"My friend kicked me out of her room. My price is seventy gold pieces an hour."

He was mobbed.

Lina padded silently down the hall from the bathroom. She felt calm and relaxed after that hot bath. The water was clean and almost scalding. She would have to spend time at the expensive places more often, it did wonders...

Zelgadis fell out of a doorway with a woman Lina didn't know. And she didn't care to, if where Lina saw her hands on Zel was correct. They landed on the floor in a mass of giggles. Lina stopped dead and gazed in utter shock for a moment.

"Lovely one, I thought you said the door was closed," Zelgadis murmured huskily.

"I guess I was too engaged with your body to notice - " The woman began.

"AHEM." Both turned to look up at the redhead standing in the hallway in a bathrobe. Zelgadis grinned.

"Hi Lina! How are you?"

Lina smiled sweetly. Too sweetly. Zelgadis had a feeling he was in trouble.

"This is just a thought," She said, sugar dripping from her words, but gradually growing angrier. "But mightn't you like to do this sort of thing INSIDE the room?" She picked them both up and tossed tem into the room they'd fallen from, slammed the door, and stalked off.

The girl looked at Zel. "Who was that?"

He sighed. "My manager." He grinned at the girl. "Lets continue, shall we?

Lina ate breakfast late. All the relaxation had disappeared from her at the sight of.. of.. Lina shuddered. Anyway, she had taken another bath, but she was still in a bad mood.

Zelgadis came down, looking a little windswept but still very close to his usual impeccable self. The woman with bright red curls just a bit behind him looked like she had been through a tornado but didn't care in the least.

Zelgadis looked smug as a cat as half the room looked up at him and winked. Lina rolled her eyes and ignored Zel as he slinked over to her table and sat down.

"Busy night?"

He smiled sinuously. "Very. Care to - "

"NO," She stated firmly and concentrated on her breakfast.

"Gee, Lina, You're all tensed up." He said sweetly, somehow getting behind her while she wasn't watching. He started massaging her neck. She had to admit, it was relaxing...ohhh... okay, but only a massage... his hands started going lower.

Zelgadis found himself flung over her shoulder and on the floor. On the one hand, it gave him a nice view of all the ladies around him in dresses. On the other hand, Lina was currently walking over to where he lay prone on the ground. Ouch. This was not good.

She walked over and glared down at him. "WHAT have I told you?" She said sweetly, bringing a heel down hard to where his face would have been if he hadn't moved very, very fast. Zelgadis jumped to his feet and backed away veeeery slooowwllyy....

"WHAT did I warn you?" She said, a bit less sweet this time, and punched where his face, again, would have been. She was undisturbed by his movements. In fact, she seemed to be expecting them. He smiled a little nervously.

I know the cat and mouse game too, Zelgadis... I'm just a bit heavier handed than you are...


He swallowed hard. "You told me not to come onto you again or I would have to eat through a straw for a week..."

"And why didn't you listen?" She asked sweetly, tilting her head to one side. To her left, a girl commented to a friend that the redhead must be a lesbian; Lina calmly walked by. Seconds later, the chair broke, sending the occupant tumbling down on her delicate rear end. Zelgadis swallowed and backed away.


"Because you were laid so many times last night your head got a bit inflated?" Lina asked sweetly, still advancing. Zelgadis backed up until he hit a wall. He winced.

"I...guess you could say that..."

"How should I make sure you remember not to do it again?" She asked, coming up nose to nose with him.

"Um... ask nicely?" Shot in the dark.

"Didn't work last time, did it?"

Some animals, when faced with death any way they look, attack suddenly - even if doing so will only get them killed more dead.

Zelgadis darted forward, kissed Lina, and sped outta there.

Five seconds later, there was an ear-piercing shriek. Zelgadis lowered his head and kept running.

And slammed into an invisible wall. Oops. Zelgadis turned around to see Lina. She had the leash, didn't she? He cringed.

"Umm... Umm...."


"May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May god hold you
In the palm of his hand."

Lina yawned and feel asleep. She didn't mind sleeping on the ground, actually. It was Zelgadis...

"Why can't we stay in an inn?" He grumbled, leaning against a tree. Okay, she almost fell asleep.

"Because the last time we did you decided I was fair game." She snapped, rolling over with her back to him. "I'm getting you back for it."

"But I made at least 1400 gold pieces! C'mon, Lina! I hate the ground..."

"You don't have to sleep, stop complaining."


"And stop whining like a two year old. The cute doesn't work on me, the whining doesn't work on me, and the seduction doesn't work on me. You're not getting your way."

"What does work on you?"

"Nothing, I'm omnipotent. Now shut up and let me sleep!"

Zelgadis sulked. He leaned against the tree and watched as Lina drifted off again.

Chapter 4   |   Fanfiction