It was an average day at the dragon caves. The Emperor's Sister was lounging in the library with her two chibis garv and Filia as well as Gourry. They were all sitting on the comfy furniture, reading quietly, well except in gourry case.
"Slow and steady wins the race," said the turtle to the snail as he defeated the raca.. rasco, um hare." Gourry read out loud, from his 'I can read' book.
The others just sighed and continued to ignore him when a loud rucus intruded upon their quiet time.
"Give Me Back My Balls, You Damn VIRGIN!" a young boy's voice cried out followed by the sounds of a chase.
The Emperor's Sister turned to her two chibis, who were also partially in charge of the Caves upkeep, and brought out a fist. "Ok who's going to go out and solve this one?" she asked as the other two brought out their own hands.
"ROCK! PAPER! SISERS!" they shook and the Emperor's sister was left with her hand displaying sisoer as the other two kept their fists as rocks.
"Damn!" Esis cursed. "What am I supposed to do?" she grumbled.
"Well.." the duo suplied, "don't ask me, I'm stone, remember? And THAT's beats sisors!"
Esis snorted and put her book down. Grouchy, she stomped out of the library to see Xellos racing about holding Hellmaster Phibrizzo's marble bag. As they raced by Esis snagged the pouch from Xellos' grasp and calmly handed it back to its rightfull owner.
"Xellos dear.. what were you thinking?" Esis asked the pouting mazoku.
Xellos blushed and shuffled his feet. "Nothing.." he murmered into the cavern floor.
"Yeah right." She snorted, "Oh I see. You were planing on finding Zel's soul orb and smashing it again weren't you?" she asked as Xellos started with guilt. "Thought so. Well you should know that Phibby-kins hasn't got any of my fav character's soul orbs. I took them away along time ago."
Xellos sighed in defeat and slumped onto a couch. feeling bad for her one of her favortie male slayers characters she sat down beside him and patted him on the back. "Now Xel-kins. What's wrong? You can tell esis-chan!"
"Ne Esis-chan.. Its well.. Lina and Zel are your 1st favorite pairing. And you still haven't written anything where i get Lina-chan. You wrote Zel a Lemon!" he whined. "everyone, well phibby and the other dark lords any way, are all teaseing me cause.. i'm kinda still, a virgen." he muttered.
The emperor's sister felt a little guilty. 'Oh right i forgot to get around to writing a xel/lina fic. oops.'
"Well Xellos... what can i do to make you feel better?" she asked.
"Well.. i want a Xellos + Lina lemon definately but.. CAN I COOK TONIGHT!!!" Xellos pleaded with eyes like a cute lil puppies.
"sigh OK, just for tonight though and for the LOVE OF ALL THINGS XELLOS! Use a CookBook!" esis granted and the now contented demon skipped off the the kitchens.
"Finally i can get back to writing Ome.." She was interupted by yet another loud crash! "Oh man."
The emperor's sister, along with several dragons, chibis, and slayer members, raced to the Dragon cave's shrine section. Already there were Sailor Moon, Tuxedo mask and a cute but shy alien boy.
"Where?" Esis asked and all three pointed to the Zel/Lina room.
Esis opened the door and was shoved inside by two chibis, garv and Filia, Amelia and other curious onlookers.
"What's going on!" Esis demanded from the two, quite embarrased people lying on the floor.
"Umm.. well..." Lina stuttered wiggling out from under Zelgadis, wearing a french maid's uniform. "Zel , and i, well.. broke the erm bed here.."
"Zel, you broke the bed??" Garv chuckled.
"It's not my fault! I weigh half a ton!" Zel snapped, searching for his misplaced shirt.
"What were you DOINGG???" Amelia cried out in shock, ogling the topless chimera to the point of drooling.
"Um..." The Emperor's Sister but in. "Would you all please get out and someone, Hose Amelia off!" she ordered and the cave dwellers scurried to do her bidding, cause a pissed off spaniard is NOT a pretty picture. "Lina, Zel, for CRYING OUT LOUD YOU $&%#!! KNOW HOW MUCH FURNITURE COSTS THESE DAYS!!" she shouted ticked off, and leachured the naughty youths on responsibility and other things she was annoyed about.
Later on the entire group of slayers, as well as some older dragons, were perched around The Emperor's Sister's big screan t.v. watching Mel Brooks videos.
"I'm Hungry!" Lina and Esis shouted, "Bring on the grub!!"
Xellos poped in and set down an appitising platter before the snackers. Esis-chan, with the speed built up from living with a dangerous ally, know as her brother the Emperor, was the first to snag a tibit and swallow it.
The others stopped half way to the food as they saw her turn a surprising shade of red. Had The Emperor's Sister been a anime character, like those around her, she would probably start breathing flames like some kind of dragon; but she's human. So instead raced as fast as she bloody well could to the mini fridge by her room shouting, "PIKA PIKA!!!"
"Eh?" Gourry asked confused.
"Pika..chu?" Amelia continued, just as lost.
"Pika!! AS in p.i.C.a morons!!!" The Emperor's Sister shouted then decided that arguing cut into drowning the 'oh-my-god-my-mouth-is-on-fire' time so she went back to chugging liquids.
Lina looked to Zel for further information. "Pica is spanish for hot, or burning, or spicy." Zel explained, as the audience 'Oh'ed, and set the food as far from them as possible.
"So now what?" Lina asked, "if Xellos was in the kitchen, there's probably nothing that's edible left."
"We could order out?" Zel answered.
"We could roast up Xellos for supper!" chibi filia blurted out, acting quite out of character, "They did it in Blazing Saddles!"
"When? Where? I don't remember that part." Amelia crowed.
"Well we have the tape right here!" Gourry pointed out, "let's watch it now!" and so saying popped the tape into the vcr.
The Emperor's Sister finally recovered and did the only sensible thing there was left to do, if they were planning on NOT starving; She called her mother. "Mom, I need a snack, is there anything good..."