WARNING: This was the result of drinking too much Pepsi at lunch and then returning to an oh so boring religion class. I wish not to be held responsible for anyone who smashes their head off the keyboard due to face vaulting. This fic is incredibly stupid!! You have been warned.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Even though some of my friends do make cameos or try to take over the show I don't own them either! Please don't sue me!
(Cameras close in on the stage. Its plain with 2 chairs set up and a table in between the chairs. Six empty cups of coffee and 2 full ones decorate the table. A sulky blue chimera and an all too hyper high school girl sit waiting for their cue. )
Alley: Hi and welcome to Coffee Time! I'm Alley.
Zel: And I'm Zelgadiss.
Alley: Hey Zel, long time no see!
Zel: I've never met you before and my life, Allison. Chu introduced me to you all of 5 minutes ago. We have absolutely nothing in common except for our love of coffee.
Alley: Oh yeah! Well its great to see ya. ::whispers into her headset:: Chu, why is he blue and made of stone?
Chu: (from off camera) Shh! He's very touchy about that.
Alley ::blushes:: Our coffee of the week this time is Café Latte.
Zel: Café Late, a wondrous blend of...Coffee and milk!
Alley: And we can't forget about the frothy stuff!
Zel: No, one can't forget about the frothy stuff. Absolutely stunning! ::glares at Chu, holding cue cards, and takes a swig of his café latte::
Manda: ::runs out on stage:: COFFEE TIME!! COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE! CAPPUCCINO! JAVA!
Chu: ::growls:: Oh L~Sama! Manda what are you doing here!? ::snaps her fingers:: Security!
Xelloss: Awww, Chu! Do we have to get rid her. I find her rather kawaii!
Chu: He said kawaii! ::stars into space all dreamily::
Zel: Who the hell invited you, Fruit Cake!
Alley: We're getting off topic! I want my show back! Chu!!!
Chu: Xelloss! Manda! Will both of you let Alley and Zel have their damn show!
Manda: ::runs on stage:: I don't wanna go away! I wanna talk about coffee!
Xelloss: Ahh yes, café latte, a personal favorite of mine.
Manda: Me too! I love the frothy stuff! ::giggles perversely and pulls the camera toward her and Xel:: So Xelloss, what's your favorite part?
Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Manda: ::blinks and looks confuzzled:: Umm...Riiiiight! Tu madre es muy facil in la cocina durante.....COFFEE TIME!
Alley: Goddamnit Manda! I'm trying to host a show here! You're being very rude! You always try to steal the spotlight from people! And don't make fun of Mrs. Dingolo!
Manda: Dingolo!? She's here!? RUN!!! HIDE!!! TAKE COVER!!! DIVE! DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!
Chu: ::jumps on Xelloss' lap:: Save me!
Xelloss: Who the hell is Mrs. Dingolo?
Chu: Our psychotic, idiotic religion teacher!
Xelloss: Religion? ::shudders then disappears with Chu to Ceifeed knows where::
Zel: So much for the show!
Alley: And this coulda made a great fic if it didn't turn into some moronic inside joke!
Zel: Who the hell would wanna read this now?
Chu: ::appears, blushing and half nekkid:: I could always send it to my mailing lists. They think am an idiot anyways! Might as well give them something to laugh at.
Zel: ::shakes his head::
Alley: Well that's it for this week's Coffee Time with Alley and Zel
Xelloss: And me!
Manda: And me!
Chu: And me!
Alley: WOULD YOU ALL JUST GO AWAY!?
Manda: ::laughs manically:: Is AlleyBrooks upset!?
Alley: Darkness beyond twilight. Crimson beyond blood that flows...
Chu: ::laughs nervously:: She doesn't know what she's talking about...
Zel: She's never met Lina has she?
Alley: Buried in the stream of time, is where your power grows...
Manda: What's she doing?
Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Manda: ::laughs giddily:: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Alley: I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand...
Chu: Well goodnight minna-san!
Zel: RUN! ::grabs Chu and runs out the emergency exit::
Alley: Before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands...
Xelloss: Ja ne! :disappears with Manda::
Alley: DRAGON SLAVE!!!!
(fade to black)
Yes I know that was absolutely ridiculous! But no one ever told me you weren't supposed to mix heavy drugs with caffeine! Just kidding! I hope you liked my story. Please send all comments, suggestions, and flare arrows (flames) to FrootCake22@aol.com. Thanks.