I look at you, and you look back.
I attempt to find just what we lack.
He looked down from the top of the cliff to the clearing below. He could see the dying embers of the fire, and the three heroes around it. One, dressed in white, snoozing off to one side. One, dressed in blue, sword by his side, talking to a red-clothed girl with flamboyant red hair. The girl seemed pensive, upset. His eyes defocused for a moment. Well, she would be upset. A close friend had told her he loved her...
"I'm sorry," echoes from out the void
As with your happiness I had toyed.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered. The frown she wore was an uncertain one. He winced. Where was the perpetually cheery Lina, the one that kept them happy with tales and jokes and sheer exuberance? He'd slain her, with three words. Three words that were meant to make people happy had destroyed her happiness...
I hang my head; It's not enough
And there is nothing left to bluff.
His eyes clouded as he remembered earlier that evening. He'd asked Lina to the side for a quick word, away from Gourry and especially away from Amelia. That girl would have thrown a fit of despair if she knew what he had been about to say to Lina.
They'd gone some steps into the forest, when he'd turned around quickly, almost bumping into Lina, then held out a plain gold band and said "I love you." It had surprised Lina and frankly surprised Zelgadis even more - he hadn't stammered, hadn't faltered, hadn't fumbled with the band. He didn't think he'd have it in him.
Lina looked up, into his eyes. They revealed nothing but absolute sincerety. Well, she though, it was Zel...
I turn my head and look away.
There is nothing left to say.
You look at me, stunned and shocked.
The gate is closed, the door is locked.
Lina took the band, stared at it, then looked up into Zel's eyes. They showed absolute sincerety. Well, she thought, it was Zel...
Zel looked into her eyes, and had to look away from the surprise and fear in those eyes.
I look back up; I wear a mask.
Now in your glory will I never bask.
He heard Lina faintly say "Zel...", voice filled with uncertainty and fear. He looked up, seeing tears in her eyes. "I... I... I need time... Just give me a while to think, okay...?" she stammered out. He nodded gently, and turned away...
Was it love? Could it have been?
Now that will never e'er be seen.
He winced from the pain of the memories. Though a little part of him protested about leaving, he knew he had to. He shed one crystalline tear, that bounced over the cliff edge to the clearing below.
Your dreams, your hopes, your sparkling smile
Now seem so lost, and I so vile.
Lina couldn't love him, he realised. How could she? He was a monster, a freak, and had always, because of it, been a loner. And he had dared to tell her he loved her. She had to hate him, for forcing her into her position, for walking away, for leaving. But he had to leave...
I beg no compassion; I don't deserve,
And thus a place in Hell reserve.
He stood up, ignoring the faint voice of hope within his heart. He knew that it would never work out, that Lina had to say no, and he knew that he would rather leave her life than to have to make her say it. He was still her friend, and didn't want to cause her more pain...
I turn my back, I start to fade
And walk away, as I was bade.
As you wish I go my way.
You will not see me one more day.
I see the good times, happiness,
But to stay would make you like me less.
Still he was loath to leave. Part of him, his heart, insisted that whether she loved him or not, they could still travel together. But the mind resisted. If they were travelling together it would cause them both pain, and although he didn't care what happened to him, he didn't want to hurt Lina any more. She deserved far better than him. His heart persisted, showing him all the times they'd had fun, the times he'd smiled, the times she had smiled with him, shared a moment...
I leave your world, and don't look back.
The thing you need is that I lack.
But his resolve remained intact. Slowly, not even looking back, he walked away. He only whispered one word. "Goodbye..."
All I can leave is this little rhyme,
To hope I see you a different time.
Lina stared at her things, all laying against the cliff at the edge of the clearing, her eyes still full of tears. They'd remained camped at the clearing for another day and night, waiting for Zelgadis to return. Amelia was taking his disappearance surprisingly well, though she was unexpectedly muted. She'd done the chores, even hunted, all with a strangely quiet and subdued demeanour. She, though...she hadn't realised how much it had hit her until she realised she'd spent the entire day and night sobbing into Gourry's shoulder. She was glad he was there for her, otherwise she didn't know what she'd have done. She smiled faintly, for the first time since Zel had broken the news. Big brother Gourry.
The smiles faded quickly, to be replaced with an unhappy frown as she realised how much Zel's leaving had hit her. Wasn't she the one who was meant to be eternally happy? But now...
She noticed a fleck of blue amongst the stones at the base of the cliff, about a foot from her things. She walked over gently, to find a small tear-shaped sapphire. She picked it up almost reverently, then smiled, cast a small spell, and attached the gem to a gold band she wore on her finger.
But now...she had a new mission. Screw magic, screw power, screw bandits. Her one and only mission was to find the one she loved. She smiled, shouldered her stuff, and walked to the others.