Slayers Complaints


Sairaag Press
Sometime before the end of the world.

Introduction

The Slayers. A group of heroes. A group of villains. But most importantly, a group of people. People with feelings, and yes even complaints about their line of work.

Read the complaints of this group of people. Learn why Lina Inverse hated comments about her chest size. See who Zelgadis Greweryds really is. Find out why Amelia wil Tesla Serryun was really obsessed with Justice. But most importanty see the bad parts of life, the Slayers: the group of people, dealt with daily.

- IDC and Lady Muse

Page 1
Lina Inverse

Lina Inverse here. glare You'd better remember me! I have lots of complaints for this book and you all had better read all of it! glare

Good! Now where to start? Well most importantly, THERE WAS NEVER ENOUGH FOOD!!!!!!!!!!! You try traveling with with Gourry and Amelia!! They always took ALL of the food! And we were usually using MY hard liberated money! Except when we were using Amelia's princess funds, but that wasn't very often!!!

And I especially hated the slow restuarant help! I swear, everywhere we went there was the worst help I've ever encountered! They acted like we ordered a large amount of food or something!! Hmmph. As if. A growing sorceress has to eat!!!

And speaking of growing, WHY DID EVERYONE MAKE HAVE TO COMMENT ON MY LACK OF DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hated that SO much!!!!

And I really, really hated teh way those demons/trolls/bandits just followed me around and interfered with my everyday life. It's not like I ever did anything to them! Well maybe I attacked some of the bandits, but the demons and trolls have no excuse!!!!!

Ooooh! All this makes me SO mad!!!! DRAGON SLAVE!!!!!!!

B       O       O       M

^_^ I feel better. You better have read all of this! glare >.<

- Lina Inverse

Page 2
Gourry Gabriev

Complaints...? Oi.... scratches head

Well....I guess my biggest complaint is how everyone is always calling me stupid and jellyfish brains and stuff.

What is a jellyfish anyways?

I mean...uh....the point is I'm not stupid. Just cuz I don't know a lot of things. So, I don't know what happened with that nice red priest guy or what happened to that nice little boy that kidnapped me, but I know other things!

I know Lina was good to travel with cuz she always won. And I knew how to use my sword good and why I had to give it back to the pink guy! And I even know the answer to life the universe and everything is 43!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Huh?.....yeah, that's all I can think of...

- Gourry Gabriev

Page 3
Amelia wil Tesla Serryun

This is Amelia. The so called Love and Justice freak and I've got something to complain about! First, I am not truly a Justice freak! I just have a really heavy conscience, plus my Dad wants me to be just like him, since Naga turned out so weird. I mean "The White Serpent" is so not what my Father wanted out of a child, so it was more of a burden to do the whole 'Justice Act'! What I really wanted to do is what Lina does, she travels and looks for treasure and boy does she eat!!! She can eat and not worry about it how big she gets, while I have to watch my stupid princessly figure!!! Oh yeah, if Lina wants my breasts, she can have em! Seh makes a big deal out of em! But they are so annoying! You can't do anything without them getting in the way! I mean Lina can fit through tight spots, and not have to worry about her bust. Also, I wanted to do powerful black magic, but because I was younger than everyone else they wouldn't let me!!! I understand how to handle it but no one would ever show me how to do it! Not even my Big Sis would show me some of her magic!! I guess thats all I've got on my chest (besides the big breats Lina can have) for now! I feel so much better!

- Amelia wil Tesla Serryun

Page 4
Xelloss Metallium

Complaints?

blink

Wow....I haven't really done that in the last 1000 or so years. My exisitence as a Mazoku isn't really conducive to complaining. You know, I really can't think of too much to complain about. Only two things really. The first one, well we all know I like demonstrations best.....

cloud of purple smoke, xelloss re-emerges in full drag, clad in mini-skirt, fishnets, tube top and really cool knee-high boots

We just didn't cross dress enough! ^_^ And as for the other complaint, well.....

Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^

- Xelloss

Page 5
Zelgadis Greywerds

My name is Zelgadis Greywerds and I was a Slayers. Yes. I was a member of the infamous world-saving group known as the Slayers. Yes. I know Lina Inverse. Yes we were involved. No, we are not now. yes we saved the world. Yes, we were usually the reason it was going to be destroyed. Yes we destroyed various parts of the world in order to save it. No, I never found my cure.

And that my faithful audience of reader brings me to the point of my complaint. I LIKE my chimera-ness. I always have. No. I wasn't mad when Lina didn't allow me to see the Claire Bible! I was joyful!

Sure I was mad about this being a demon thing at first, but then I realized how much strength and power I had! I loved, LOVE it!

Unfortunately, by this time everyone expected me to be unhappy and obsessed with my cure.

Why do you think I tried to ditch the group? I said I was looking for the Claire Bible! I didn't think they'd buy it! I mean the Claire Bible???? Just my luck, Lina wanted to find it too. I really just wanted to find a new group so I could drop the angsty act!

That was SO HARD to hold up. I'm really a cheerful, carefree sorta guy! Sure, I don't enjoy dressing like a girl or in a giant bunny suit, but I do like to laugh and enjoy my power!

sigh But I had an act to hold up. Well, I suppose that's my two cents for this Complaints book.

Now that that's out, Im gonna go take a nap in the sunshine!

Ja minna-san!

Zel

Page 6
The Lord of Nightmares

Hi! ^_^

I'm the Creator of the World!!!

Hi!

I like the Slayers!!!

They're so chaotic... happy sigh

I have nothing about them to complain about!!!! They're my favorite people!!! nod nod

Ugh!!! Those Slayers!!! I swear, Lina Inverse makes me SO mad sometimes. Did you know that that arrogant girl actually DEMANDED her life back?!? GAH! I mean IM God, not her!!! And she had the AUDACITY.....

blink What was I saying? smile Lina is Great!!!! Oooh....and Xellos and Zelas are just SO much fun! ^_^ I just love their master plan! Theyre gonna....

WAIT A MINUTE!!! They have the stupidest master plan I've ever heard!!! I swear, you'd think MY minions could come up with something a little better than....

Like I was saying! No complaints! nod ^_^

- L-sa...THE LORD OF NIGHTMARES

Page 7
Filia

Hi. Im Filia. ( A golden dragon.) Ugh. I mean anybody who doesn't know the whole story would think being a Gold dragon would be great, a shrine maiden even better. But they would be WRONG.

Just because my ancestors killed the Ancient Dragons means I get blamed for it? That is SO unfair!! Plus, because were the 'Gold Dragons' we have to be peaceful. Hmmph.

So, here I am, getting accused as a murderer and I have to just take it! I think that's a little uncalled for!

Oh yeah, and that bow on my tail? NOT MY IDEA! It got stuck there one time when I was playing dress up! And it hurts!

- Filia

Page 8
Sylphiel

This is Sylphiel and I am NOT a sweet little hous girl! I mean, how could I be? My hometown just keeps getting blown up!!! And why?! Probably because of Flagoon. That stupid tree. It's supposed to be holy but if its holy then why did our city just blow up? I mean aren't holy trees supposed to protect your city? The reason I act so flaky is because my brain has been scrambled by so many stupid explosions. It's not fair! My magic is messed up because of all the losses of life I had to deal with. I have major problems with everyone thinking Im a flake. I AM NOT A FLAKE!

Hugs and Kisses
- Sylphiel

Sairaag

I am the city of Sairaag. I heard of the creation of the Slayers Complaints book from my printing presses. How ironic this book be printed here, the city that was destroyed by the same Slayers of the book numerous times. My complaint of course is: IT REALLY SUCKS TO BE DESTROYED!

As a city, I've lived a long time, I keep getting destroyed, rebuilt, destroyed, rebuilt...IT JUST GETS OLD.

Well, my message is, aspiring world Savers/Destroyers: PLEASE DON'T COME HERE ANYMORE!!!!!

- Thanks Sairaag


Author Notes

To give my sis her proper credit she (Lady Muse) wrote Filia, Sylhpiel and Ame-chan.


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