Ash of Cold Mornings


Notes

"Yakusoku wa iranai" ("I don't need a promise")
Lyrics by Iwasato Youho
Composed and Arrangement by Kanno Youko
Sung by Sakamoto Maaya


Nee, aishitara
Dare mo ga konna kodoku ni naru no?

Say, if you fall in love,
Does everyone become this lonely?

He gazed out at the river valley from the cliff. How many times had he sat here, his arms around her, as they basked in the sun and as he basked in her radiance? She had loved it here, where the updrafts were the strongest for miles around, and would often take a soaring dive off the cliff to snap open her wings at the last moment, carried by the winds. She had danced on these winds the same way she did anything; easily, confidently, commandingly, and with fire. Laughing, she would change into her human form while landing; sweeping and tumbling precisely into his arms to tangle in a mass of arms and legs that would tumble and shift into one mind, one heart, one soul. And nothing else in the world had mattered during those sunny, windy afternoons.

Closing his eyes, he released her ashes to the winds.

Nee, kurayami yori mo
Fukai kurushimi dakishimeteru no?

Say, are you embracing this pain
Deeper than the darkness?

Who would believe that it could be so dark in the morning? That it could be so black and bleak while sparkling in the sunlight? He had numbly wrapped her up in a blanket after the fire had left her eyes and had taken her to the cliff. And no one else was there to mourn because all who would mourn had either already left or were slaughtered as well.

No one else was there as the flames consumed her, but someone else had watched as her ashes left him there, alone on the cliff, to fly away with the wind.

Nani mo ka mo ga futari
Kagayaku tame
Kitto

Everything is there for two people,
So that they can shine,
Surely.

They had believed that everything would turn out all right in the end. They had believed that love would triumph, and that justice would rule. Surely.

Kimi wo kimi wo aishiteru
Kokoro de mitsumete iru

It's you, you that I love,
I'm watching you with my heart.

Her brother had moved his wife and children to a safe place. Besides, the Golds would not be so cruel as to harm innocents, would they?

She stood in the hall, thinking.

Everyone that mattered were safe. Her love was safe; and speaking of which, where was - she squeaked in surprise as she felt a tap on her shoulder, and then whirled around to whack her lover on the head.

"Don't scare me like that!"

"Whyever not? Your squeal is cute!" He smiled at her.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not do not do not!"

"But you just did!"

"Ancient Dragons don't squeal!"

"Well, neither do they - " he leaned close and whispered in her ear. She blushed then quickly looked around.

"Shh!! Stop that! We're still in the halls for Ceipheed's sake!" He laughed.

"Well then, we better go in, shouldn't we?" He replied as he scooped her up, opened the door, and swept into their room, shutting the door behind him.

The night passed too quickly.

Kimi wo kimi wo shinjiteru
Samui yoru mo

It's you, you I believe in,
Even on a cold night.

She stared into the darkness of predawn.

Is my brother okay? He had tried to hide with his family deep in the mountains, but are they still safe? Should I check?

She quickly decided, and grabbed a small basin of water from a night stand. It slightly reflected what light there was, shimmering slightly.

Perfect.

She tilted the basin and stared into it, concentrating. And gasped.

Her brother was there, some place dark, fighting, bleeding, flying. His wings were suddenly ripped, torn, shredded from his back and he fell, landing with a thud. He shifted into his human form, breathing heavily, and brushed away the blond hair from his face while looking up. Eyes widening, he lept from his crouch trying to hurtle himself between his hatchlings and the falling blade.

She stared into the water uncomprehendingly as the blade swerved to hack her older brother in two.

The Gold carefully wiped the blood off his sword, and turned toward the hatchlings. They stared solemnly at him, at the sword that glinted in the rising sun. At the blade that rose and fell.

The basin of water clattered on the floor. And she could only cry as two familiar arms folded around her and his familiar voice tried to give what comfort he could that early, early morning.

Nee, koishite mo
Dare ni mo itsuka owari ga kuruno

Say, even if someone falls in love,
Will it come to an end someday?

The sun had risen, when they, the Golds, burst into their room and snatched her from his arms. It was almost pathetically easy for them to tie him back with bonds of magic.

Nee, aozora yorimo,
Sunda tokimeki sutete shimau no?

Say, a heart that beat even clearer than
the blue sky, can it be abandoned completely?

Blood was splattered everywhere, and he could only watch as they tortured her for information that she did not know. The rest of the Gold dragons not directly involved just stared dispassionately with sapphire eyes colder and clearer than ice itself. He fought back tears; never before had he ever given them the satisfaction of seeing him cry and he would not start now.

He could only watch in horror as the puddle of blood on the floor grew. Where were the Dragon's compassion? Their mercy? Did they even have hearts?

Disgusted that they got no answered for all their trouble, the Gold Dragons finally left, dumping her body at his feet and releasing him from the bonds. He stared at them, stared at his old mentor, hoping to find some glimmer of regret or remorse. But he found nothing. Not one single sapphirine gaze held the least spark of guilt for torturing one of their own kind. Not one single Dragon felt guilty for the blood now on their hands.

And, literally, blood on their hands. They passed around a piece of torn blanket that someone had picked up from their bed to wipe the blood from dark crimson hands as they left. His old mentor received it last.

"Oh, and clean up this filthy mess." The Gold casually tossed the blood-stained bit of cloth back into the room and went out the door.

"What?..." He asked, faintly.

But only the sound of the closing door answered him, as the piece of blanket, smeared with dark, drying, sanguine stains, floated quietly down to settle into one of the pools of her blood.

And dark red quickly seeped in from the ragged cotton edges; all traces of pure white soaked out of existance and replaced by jagged, sucking, hate.

Kisetsu kawaru no kaze michi wo hashiru
Zutto

With the winds of the changing seasons,
I run down the road, all the way

He watched as her ashes were carried away by the wind.

"It's a pity, isn't it?"

He whirled around. A dark-skinned woman was meditatively sipping a cup of wine, peering at him over the winecup's rim. Mazoku eyes.

"There's really nothing you can do to avenge the death." She gestured with her cup, sloshing some wine around. "Basically, it's your white magic against their white magic, and I wonder who would win, hmm?" She looked at him.

He clenched his fists and looked at the ground with fury.

"Exactly. But, come now, you are surely smarter and far more stubborn than to just roll over in defeat, aren't you, little trickster?"

He snapped his head up.

"How...?"

"Oh, I get around, and I hear things. And I heard many, many good things about you, my dear."

He smiled very carefully and backed away a little. She noticed.

"Now, really, I'm not THAT bad am I?" She arched one elegant eyebrow.

"You're Mazoku."

"Really?? I hadn't noticed." She smiled. "But, truthfully, wouldn't you like to be Mazoku as well, perhaps?"

He snorted. "What do you think?" he smirked.

"But what did you ever gain by following the Dragons?" She threw out the hand holding the cup, the dark red wine swirling out in a dark liquid ribbon. "You gave some twenty-odd years to them, and they made you an underling priest to an underling Gold. You gave them a new perspective on things, shook up the system a little, and in thanks they left you with ashes." She gestured at the cliff where he had released her remains.

"Come with me, prove yourself, and you will be rewarded for your efforts. Pain for failure, but power for success." She looked at him, and smiled. "And that's only fair, isn't it? That's only Justice, isn't it?"

He stared at her, and for one long moment he thought about all the things he grew up believing about Dragons, about Mazoku.

His robes, his hair, and the blond Mazoku's clothes rippled to the wind, and with his eyes, he followed a single leaf as the wind snatched it up from a nearby tree. He watched as it flew out amoung many other leaves, flowing with the wind as it carried the leaves out over the valley in a graceful powdery ribbon.

The same airy path that her ashes had followed.

He slowly nodded.

Kimi wo kimi wo aishiteru
Kokoro de mitsumete iru

It's you, you that I love,
I'm watching you with my heart.

He stared at his hands. They didn't look any different. Nothing was different, except it seemed that he could sense so much more, see so much more, and was so much stronger and faster. And power, yes, so much more power was opened to him, and yet he was still only on one of the lowest rungs of the Hierarchy. But he didn't look any different, he checked in the mirror, except for the new robes and his eyes.

Mazoku eyes. Amethyst shards. Harsh crystal shards broken from something whole.

He turned away from the mirror and closed his eyes.

Forgive me, he whispered to her image.

Kimi wo kimi wo shinjiteru
Samui yoru mo

It's you, you I believe in,
Even on a cold night.

Not bad for twelve years, he thought, as he looked at his new quarters as Juuou-sama's General and Head Priest.

Large and springy bed he noted. Large storage space...he stuck his head in to look and sneezed...but needs dusting. Nice fireplace, very toasty. A well-stocked wine cabinet, of course. Tasteful decor. A great view of the forests and the wide blue ocean from the windows.

It was very nearly perfect.

Xelloss walked over to the balcony, leaned on the rail of the balcony, and looked out over the breathtaking vista afforded by the large hill the castle rested on. The ocean caught and refracted the light of the countless twinkling stars and the leaves rustled with the evening breeze as the moonlit clouds played tag in wide open indigo sky. A perfect, untouched place, and a stunning view of it all from a simply gorgeous room. He sighed.

She would have loved it.

Tatoe ashita nakushite mo
Anata wo ushinatte mo
Dekiru kagiri no egao de
Kagayakitai

Even if I lose tomorrow,
and even if I lose you as well,
I want to keep shining with a smile as long as I can.

He dreamed.

She was there again; torn, cut, bloody, broken. Tossed into his lap, like a limp rag doll. She looked up at him, and wryly smiled.

"At least I...I get to die...somewhere nice..." He looked at her, eyes glistening, gently smoothing her hair aside to cup her face.

"Shhhh, don't say that..."

Namida de ima yobikakeru
Yakusoku nado iranai
Yimi ga kureta taisetsu na
Tsuyosa dakara

I appeal to you with my tears now,
I don't need anything like a promise
Because you have given me precious strength.

All he could think was that he must save her. Yet for every second that he spent desperatly trying to heal one wound, one organ, or one bone, three others quickly became worse. He was fast becoming faint with the lack of magic and exhausition when she started crying.

"Stop," she begged. And he would have said something if she had not glared at him, her fire still somehow there, despite everything. No use, she tried to convince him, shaking her head.

He stared at her, then quietly cast a spell to numb pain before gently holding her against him, one last time.

Hitomi de ima yobikakeru
Yakusoku nado iranai

Now, with a look, I call to you
I don't need anything like a promise

And she, begging and pleading with her eyes, had tried to stop him from blaming himself. And tried to stop him from wasting his breath by whispering to her his love.

"Silly human," she whispered at last, managing a small smile, and weakly lifting her fingers to his lips, "I already knew that."

Hitomi de ima te wo nobasu
Samui yoru mo

Now, with a look, I reach out to you
Even on this cold night.

Her face was there again, and he couldn't help but try to gently wipe off the mixture of tears and blood running down her face. But her face disappeared into mist at his touch...

...and Xelloss woke reaching into thin air.


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