"Please please please..."
Zelgadis twisted on his bed, again caught between the same half nightmare that's been plaguing him for the last few weeks.
"God, I can't... Oh gods!"
Having learned at a young age to keep himself silent even during the worst nocturnal horror, Zel's muted cries barely carried into the room. His body writhed in torment as his invisible attacker continued laying hands on his dream self. Panting, fighting for air, it was all he could do to keep breathing.
"T-too much... please stop..."
Perhaps it was not in his best interest to remain so quiet. In the very next room, another would have gladly awakened Zel from his dreamed imprisonment and given whatever comfort the chimera sought. As it was, Zel's own self-discipline kept him locked in his imagined struggles.
"I can't... I can't... N-n-nnnn.... AAAAAHHHH!"
Even his screams were no more than whispers carried away in the wind. But it's enough to jolt the shaman from his restless sleep. He sat straight up, breathing hard as the last vestiges of his nightmare reluctantly let him go.
"Nononono... no... dream... dreaming..."
Zelgadis laid a hand over his forehead, feeling an impending headache coming on. He didn't bother with a heal spell. Somehow the pain was both curse and welcomed, giving him something to focus on as the dream faded completely. He flopped back on his bed, swearing when he heard a small crack in the frame.
You'd think I'd know not to do that by now.
Grumbling, Zel reached for his cloak. He needed to see his gemstone. He needed to feel it, to make sure it was still there, still intact.
You're being a fool.
Am I? It's been the same dream over and over, always with my gemstone shattering. Would I be more fool to check, or ignore what may be a warning of things to come?
Feeling around in the dark, Zel was hard pressed not to sigh audibly as his questing fingers ran over the smooth, red gem. Still there. Just a dream... again.
This is ridiculous. Why am I having the same dream over and over again? Haven't I had enough nightmares for one lifetime? And it's not like I should have to worry about something like that. Who would want a freak anyway? Especially... like...
The mere memory was enough to give the shaman tremors. He quickly set the gem down and crawled back into bed. He knew sleep was a long time in coming, and didn't relish it anyway.
Nobody's up at this time of night. And I don't need them anyway. What am I going to do, tell them? Sure, just what I need. I'm on the receiving end of Lina's teasing as it is, and I don't need little miss justice freak making me her pet project. Then there's Gourry...
After all the time they'd spent in each other's company, Zel still wasn't sure what to think when it came to the blond swordsman. Yes, Gourry was excellent in handling the Sword of Light. Yes, he was faithful to his friends, including Zel himself. Yes, unfortunately, he sought to protect Lina with every fibre of his being...
Why? What made Lina so special? Come to think of it, why did he fol...
Don't go there. Just don't. They don't know, and as long as you don't think that way, they'll never know.
Pushing his personal reasons aside, Zelgadis continued to ponder about Gourry's involvement with Lina. He knew he was acting no better than an old maid figuring out a bit of gossip, but he didn't care. Better to think about this than the monsters waiting for him when he slept.
Love? Perhaps. I suppose someone could learn to love Lina. How, I have no clue. Still, I guess I couldn't begrudge him that if he did.
Greywers, you are one pathetic soul.
He turned on his side, willing that little voice to shut up as he went on.
Maybe he owes her something. That doesn't sound too far from Lina's method, but what would Gourry have indebted himself to Lina for? No, can't be that. If Gourry did owe her anything, she'd already have the Sword of Light. L-sama, perish the thought. Isn't she obnoxious enough as it is? Okay, so I'm not as good as her, still...
A soft whimper escaped him before Zel even realized it. He closed his eyes, fighting the depression that walked with him every day.
Anyway, not a debt. He likes her, but I'm not ready to say it's love. Duty? Obligation? Perhaps. Gourry is very loyal. He probably ran into her and decided she needed protection. Yeah, right. She needs protection like I need a pumice stone.
Rolling onto his back again, Zel hit the mattress in frustration.
This isn't going to help the real problem you've been having. You're losing sleep, which you had trouble getting before anyway. You're already struggling to try and prove yourself... and for what? Not like you've been very effective in anything since you've run into them all again. Gods, why? No, I know why, because I was a stupid idiot who was so blinded in my search for a cure that I fell into an obvious hoax. I'm sure they're respect for me was really high after that one. Not to say I minded Amelia being tied up. They should have gagged her. Still, I knew it, I was wrong. But I... I just want to be normal. Is that too much to ask?
Why? Why do I want to be normal? I've gone to several places where it didn't seem to matter what I looked like. Hell, I was dressed in drag and got more looks than Lina. I'm still convinced that was jealousy I saw... Okay, Greywers, you have gone beyond the pathetic realm and hit contemptuous. Maybe it would just be better to admit to it, though. Admit what? Face it, it's not normalcy you want...
...it's acceptance.
Zel pulled the pillow from behind his head and covered his face. He dimly wondered if he could suffocate himself as his thoughts kept churning in his head.
And it's still not going to make the dreams go away. Now you've succeeded in making yourself depressed. And on top of insomnia. Joy.
He was on dangerous ground. Years of living with only himself and learning his warning signs told him he should just cast a sleeping spell and quit thinking for the night. But with the threat of nightmares, he just couldn't.
I want to be accepted. I don't want to be the butt end of anymore jokes. I don't want to be a puppet. I don't want to be looked upon like a freak or a tool. I don't want to be used as a shield or bait. I... I...
Despite himself, silver tears gathered in the corner of Zel's eyes, dripping over his cheek as they crystallized into semi-precious gemstones around his head.
I don't want to be alone. But that dream... How could anyone want me after that? Who's to say it couldn't happen? I mean, I'm sure someone has thought that, right? Why not? I've been used as everything else, what difference would it make, really?
Zel snatched the pillow off his face, staring accusingly at the bare ceiling overhead.
Why do I even bother...?
Gourry wasn't as deep a sleeper as everyone thought. Oh sure, he could saw a log with the best of them, though he wasn't as violent as Lina. Still, he'd learned from traveling alone and later with Lina to be able to tell when something was just the usual Lina created chaos, and when something was serious.
So naturally the sound of someone casting a Ruby-Eyed Blade in the next room woke him up.
Gourry bolted for the door, sword in hand. He ran to the next room and simply rushed it, not bothering to take a moment to think as it used too much time for him anyway. He almost fell on the floor when the door gave, but he caught himself in time. Fearful, determined blue eyes looked about the room, locking onto the bed. His heart lodged in his throat at the sorrowful sight in front of him.
"Oh, Zel..."
The chimera lay in a puddle of his own blood, the deep cuts across his chest and arms still sizzling from the energy of the magic blade. It looked as if something had attacked Zel, but from the way the wounds were placed, and that his window was still closed, Gourry knew there was only one reasonable explanation.
I didn't even think he could cast Black Magic, let alone that spell.
The blond bit his lip, unsure of what to do. He didn't know magic, so he couldn't heal Zel that way. If he woke up Lina, she'd figure out what happened and Gourry didn't want to put Zel through her interrogation before the shaman had a chance to collect himself. He could probably make it look like an outside attack, but that would mean adding a few more injuries, which he also didn't want to do. The only thing left was the old wrap him up method and hope for the best.
I'll take him to my room. If I do it right, they'll just think he left on his own again.
Carefully, Gourry slipped his arms under Zel, expecting him to be quite heavy. He was mildly surprised when he found Zel not to be any heavier than a really buff guy.
So why didn't he tell Lina that instead of letting himself get tossed in the lake?
A blush of shame crept over Gourry's face. He hated thinking about that incident. He still felt bad for not speaking up in the shaman's defense. He shook his head, ridding himself of the memory for now. Holding Zel to his chest, Gourry made it back to his room before anyone else noticed. He lay Zel on the bed, than made another trip back to his friend's room. He cleaned everything up, making sure nothing was out of place as he grabbed an extra blanket. He hurried back, ripping the blanket into strips. Gourry thought about going outside to find some herbs to make a poultice with, but nixed the idea quickly.
Too dark. And someone might see me and wonder what I'm doing wandering around.
Instead he settled for a basin of water, cleaning Zel's cuts as best he could. He wound the strips of cloth on each arm, then around Zel's chest. Gourry had to concentrate on wrapping the bandage or he would have froze up as he was want to do around Zel. He was glad Zel hadn't woke up yet, but at the same time Zel's unconscious worried him. When the last of the cuts were bandaged, Gourry laid Zel on his bed, than tried to think of what to do next.
He's still out. I hope it's not serious. Too many questions from Lina if I have to tell her. But if he doesn't wake up, I won't have a choice... Why did you do this, Zel? What where you trying... trying to...
The swordsman didn't want to travel that line of thought. Gourry yawned, letting that decide for him.
We'll both sleep, and if he doesn't wake up in the morning, I'll get Lina.
Now all that was left was the matter of sleeping arrangements. If it were Lina, Gourry would have opted for the floor out of a sense of honor... and not wanting to get kicked in the face. But Zel was a very light, very still sleeper. On the occasions where he shared a tent with Zel, Gourry had stayed up just to see what kind of sleeping patterns Zel had. He hadn't liked what he saw one bit.
So quiet. But he had so many nightmares... it's a wonder he sleeps at all.
Gourry sighed. The floor was not as inviting this time, and the bed was big and sturdy enough for both of them. Without really thinking, Gourry slid in the bed next to Zel, though he climbed on top of the covers.
Don't want to push it, after all.
Sleep was talking him, and Gourry was never one to ignore it's call. He fell asleep almost instantly, to tired to see when he slipped an arm around Zel's waist.
Sunlight. He loathed it. Thanks to Rezo, he was a creature of shadows, no better than Mazoku at times. And he was definitely not a morning person.
Zel grumbled and turned over, only to smack into the shock of his life. Still in peaceful repose, Gourry slept on as if sharing a bed with the shaman was the most natural thing in the world.
L-sama, I must be dreaming again...
Even while he's trying to process this, Gourry yawns, stretching a bit before looking over at Zel. He blinks, surprised to see the shaman awake. "Mornin' Zel. How're you feeling?"
"I..." Zel just didn't know what to make of it. Every quickly snatched daydream, every carefully hidden fantasy, it all came rushing to the hapless chimera with a vengeance. With a squeak of surprise, Zel sat up and leaned against the headboard. He pulled the blanket close around him, praying for L-sama to be kind for once in his miserable life and not let Gourry see his "unease."
"G-G-Gourry...?! Wh-what am I...?"
Gourry sat up as well, pulling his knees to his chest. "I couldn't just let you bleed to death, and I didn't want you to be alone. But I didn't want to do anything that'd make her suspicious, you know?"
"Ah... um... why am I... with you...?"
Gourry seemed to understand, which was good for Zelgadis, as he didn't think he was making too much sense at the moment. "Like I said, didn't want to leave you alone. I wasn't sure if you'd be okay and thought someone should stay with you. But Lina would want to know things that you might not want to talk about..."
"V-very..." Zel chanced a peek under the covers, grateful to see his pants were still on. Like I'd be so lu... Quit that!! He nodded once to Gourry, already trying to get up. "I owe you one..." He stood up, and nearly toppled back down as a the room tilted at an awkward angle for him. "urk...!"
Strong arms caught him, saving Zel's dignity and the floor from a chimera-shaped imprint. Gourry gently guided Zel back to the bed, sitting him down before pulling the blanket over him.
"Shouldn't move too fast. Probably still kinda weak, Zel."
"...nnn" Zel opted for silence, waiting until the world righted itself. Gourry watched as the shaman's eyes drooped, then closed completely. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm as Zel slipped quietly back into a light sleep.
He'll be okay, I hope. Just needs to rest. Still, if Lina comes looking for me... well, maybe...
Gourry grabbed his things and headed over to Zel's room, making an effective switch.
But what to say... um... he asked. Don't know why. That will stall until he wakes up and can think of something himself.
Satisfied, Gourry sat on the bed, flopping back to stare at the ceiling. Though he didn't do it often, the swordsman began to think, about last night in particular.
I didn't know he could cast that spell. Thought it was kinda a strong black magic, and he's more into shaman stuff. And why? Was it just an accident? I have to believe it was. If it wasn't, then... no, an accident. Probably was trying to use the spell and it got away from him... but the window...
Eventually, Gourry thought himself right to sleep. In the other room, a red gem glittered faintly in the morning sun.
Somewhere hidden in a forest on the outskirts of town, a Mazoku met with his... employer. The person remained hidden in the shadows as the demon approached. A soft, cultured voice greeted him.
"Well?"
This Mazoku looked human enough, save for silver, slit-pupiled eyes. Wavy hair the same color brushed his shoulders. Dressed in simple tunic and pants, none would think him more than he appeared.
Would they be wrong.
"I don't see what the big deal is..."
"Just tell me."
The Mazoku sighed. "Weakening. Almost tried to off himself. Probably would have if I hadn't made him botch the spell. You didn't tell me he knew that spell..."
"His black magic is getting stronger, as I thought it would. Over time, it may equal that of Inverse."
"Which would be fine with you..."
"Of course. Keep entering his dreamscape, but make sure he lives. No harm must come to him, not even from himself."
"Do you want me to back off?"
"A touch. I don't want him suicidal, after all."
"Understood. There's something you should know..."
Silence surrounded the Mazoku for several minutes. Where he human, he might have been nervous. He knew his employer well, however, and simply waited.
"...what is it?"
"The swordsman. I think there may be something between him and your prey."
"Prey is... such an ugly word. Please, think of him as my prodigy"
"Prey, prodigy... Anyway, the swordsman may provide an interesting conundrum to your plan."
"Hmm... I suppose such a thing is possible. Especially of a certain nature. Despite his personal feelings, the chimera is a treasure unto himself as far as esthetics go. Wouldn't you say?"
"My kind have little need for things of that nature..."
"Surely you're not saying Mazoku do not appreciate things of beauty?"
"Not at all. But we prefer beauty with a purpose, which this one is."
"Ah, of course. Carry on, and keep an eye on the swordsman. Do not attack him, I do not wish to show ourselves just yet. Who knows, he may even play an integral role in acquiring my prodigy."
"As you say, so I am bound." The Mazoku disappears. The silence engulfs the forest once more, broken by the faintest of chimes.
Part 2 | Fanfiction