"Zelgadis-san? What's wrong with Gourry-san? Why'd he run off like that?"
Shaking his head in resignation at the utter bewilderment in the Saillune princess' voice, Zelgadis tracked the flashing gold of Gourry's hair as it sped away until the murk of the forest's thick canopy swallowed it. Amelia was still so naïve. Though a mere four years separated her from himself in terms of physical age, several generations separated the sheltered princess from himself in terms of life experience. What explanation could he offer her which would make her understand?
"Don't worry Amelia. He won't go far. Damn him anyway!"
With an effort, Zelgadis ignored Lina's outburst as he slowly walked over to his sword. She was one of the most important people in his life and he loved her like a sister, but he was so angry with her at that moment that he couldn't help but fantasize that it was the sorceress' corpse he wrenched his blade out of instead of the bandit's. He used the sword to cut a large strip from the dead man's tunic, then went to retrieve his dagger before carrying everything over to where Gourry's blade still lay forsaken on the forest floor.
"What's his problem anyway?"
"You're being uncommonly dense, Lina. Do you really have no clue?" Zelgadis quietly asked as he sank to his knees and began to wipe down his dagger and the two swords. He had a little time. Once out of sight, Gourry's pace had almost immediately fallen from a run to a shuffle. His sensitive ears could still hear the swordsman as he moved away from them at a snail's pace. Gourry must not care whether he was found quickly, or he really didn't believe that any of them would come after him. "Regardless, even if you don't know why," he continued, "Why can't you respect that he does have a problem and treat him accordingly?"
"What the hell's that supposed to mean, Zel?"
"Lina-san, I think he means that you were being mean to Gourry-san just now."
"Shut up, Amelia, I wasn't asking you."
"Leave her alone, Lina," Zelgadis snapped, his fingers tightening around the metal blade attached to the Hikari no Ken as the sorceress huffed her breath out in apparent disgust. "She just happens to be right!"
"Horse shit! How can he possibly still be upset about that Fibrizzo nonsense? I keep telling him it wasn't his fault! Why can't he let go of that, Zel?"
"It's not as easy as all that, Lina," Zelgadis began, again struggling to control his anger. She just wasn't thinking! He had to try to make her understand before he left to go to the swordsman. She deserved that much. He pushed himself to his feet and turned to her, but before he could speak, Lina exploded.
"Well, it should be! This is getting stupid! First he mopes around all week. Then, he has hysterics because he freezes in battle and you have to hop in and save his butt."
Zelgadis slammed his sword into its sheath with far more force than necessary, then slid Gourry's through his belt as well and turned away from the sorceress. Forget the explanation. If he didn't leave now, then friend or not, he was going to hurt Lina. And, then Amelia would be after his head for being so unjust. And, there'd be a whole huge mess. And, meanwhile, Gourry might just lose himself beyond anyone's ability to retrieve him. And --
"I've just about had enough of this, but I guess we need to go after him anyway. I'm tired and I'm hungry, but if he wants me to chase him all over this blasted forest, then I will. Come on, guys."
"No!" Zelgadis growled, extending an arm and blocking Lina's way as she tried to stalk past him.
"Huh?"
"You're not going after him, Lina. You've done enough to him for one day."
"What the hell, Zel? I haven't done a thing to him!"
Zelgadis rounded on Lina, his temper finally fraying, the shock and indignation in her voice more abrasive on his already raw nerves than the wire brush he used to clean his stone skin. "Damn you for being so blind, Lina Inverse," he grated. "Gourry doesn't need you right now. He needs someone who understands what Fibrizzo did to him. He needs someone with far more compassion for how he feels than you have demonstrated this afternoon!"
"What?!?! I'm compassionate! I know how he feels, Zelgadis!"
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, really!"
Narrowing his eyes at Lina's hands-on-hips-just-spoiling-for-a-fight stance, Zelgadis lowered his voice and stated with mock confidence, "Then I'm sure you'll have no problems describing to me what it feels like to be a prisoner in your own mind."
"Wha -- What the hell are you talking about?"
"And, naturally, you'll also be able to tell me what it is like to be enslaved, helpless to do anything but watch as your body dances to the commands of another like some glorified puppet."
"Enslaved? Puppet? Zelgadis, you're not making sen -- "
His voice lowering even further, Zelgadis interrupted relentlessly, "And, I'm sure that you can describe to me in exacting detail how it feels to be raped, Lina."
"R -- raped, Zelgadis-san?"
"Raped?"
"Yes, raped," Zelgadis confirmed, acknowledging Amelia's horrified squeak as well as Lina's more subdued, but no less horrified, question. He fixed both girls in his unwavering stare, grimly satisfied that he seemed to have gotten through to them, especially Lina.
"Oh, god. You mean... 'raped' raped, Zel? As in Fibrizzo -- "
"I don't know, Lina," Zelgadis said, voice gentling as his eyes dropped away from the stark dread etched into the sorceress' face. He did regret using this sledgehammer approach to drive his point home to her, for, in spite of her power and her personality, she was not much older than Amelia and, in some ways, was still just as naïve. "I don't know what Fibrizzo did to his physical body, but I do know that Hellmaster raped Gourry when he violated his mind."
"Oh, poor Gourry-san!"
Zelgadis shook his head at the wealth of helpless pity in Amelia's voice. Poor Gourry, indeed. Unfortunately, he knew that didn't even begin to sum it up.
"No! Oh, no! Gourry... Damn Fibrizzo! If he weren't already dead -- "
"But, he is, Lina," Zelgadis murmured regretfully as the sorceress' temper ignited. As much as he, too, might wish otherwise, Hellmaster was beyond their reach, not that they could have done much of anything to him without resorting to the Giga Slave again. All that remained was Gourry.
"I know! I just -- I just didn't realize -- Oh, hell, Zel, I've been such a jerk!"
"Yes," Zelgadis bluntly agreed as Lina abruptly deflated. He had no use for dancing around the truth and had not the time for it even if he did.
"I -- I guess I deserved that. Oh, Zel, I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize to me. It's Gourry you need to apologize to the next time you see him," Zelgadis replied, only half listening to Lina. A sense of urgency was growing in him. He had to go after Gourry soon or risk losing him, for with each passing second, the irregular footsteps he could barely hear stumbling through the underbrush of the forest grew more faint.
"Next time! Damn it, Zel, he ran!"
"That's right, Lina-san! What are we going to do now?"
"*We* are not going to do anything."
"But, Zel, we can't leave him alone with all of this. None of us may understand all that he's been through, but we're his friends. We can help him to get through this."
"I repeat, we are not going to do anything," Zelgadis stated with utter finality as he began to walk away from his companions. He had carried his shame around with him for long enough that its edge had dulled, but he still had no desire to see the girls' reactions when he admitted that he had once walked the same path Gourry now traveled. "I am going to go after him."
"Why you? Why do you get to be the only one to go?"
"Because, Lina, I understand perfectly all that he's been through."
"Z -- Zelgadis-san?"
"What!?! Zel! Who -- "
Quickening his pace, Zelgadis called out, "Set up camp near here and we'll come find you after I've spoken with Gourry, but give me at least until morning, all right? If we're not back by then, you come looking for us." Without waiting for a reply, he swept aside the branches of a pine at the edge of the clearing and fled into the concealing depths of the forest.