Konnichiwa minna-san! I'm known as Lianna Starrunner, though my friends call me Lia-chan and my enemies call me by some really creative obscenities. Anywho, I'm half elven and half mystic, meaning I have physical strength combined with awesome magical abilities. To my deep discontentment I'm only 5'2" even though I'm over 170 years old. Damn genetics, both my parents are short too. Well, the shortness stems from another cause too, it's the same one that causes me to only have four fingers (yes, I count the thumb as a finger, for those who are overly nit-picky) and no pupils.
Eeto, perhaps I should explain a little bit about elven biology before I continue. You see, elves are creatures of the Dreaming, meaning that we take a form that corresponds with the dreams and wishes we hold within our souls. In simple terms, with an elf what you see corresponds with the type of character the person possesses. So with that in mind, the majority of elves fall in to two different categories: Unseelie-bad karma embodied in truly bizarre flesh for your disgusted viewing pleasure; Seelie-decent people, the better the person the more beautiful they look. you may have noticed that by my self-descriprion that I fall into the 'Unseelie' category. Hee, but I'm not, it only befits the living embodiment of Chaos to be an exception to the rule.
The reason I look the way I do is that my soul is incomplete, I only have about 2/3 of one, ah well, like it makes a difference.
Well according to THE SCRIPT my little introduction schpeel is over. So sit back, relax and enjoy the fic.
WARNING: you must be at least this tall to read ______________ Thank you for complying.
Da da da, the thought ran through my mind for over the hundred-billionth time that morning. Kuso, I hate just hanging around here. I paced, I slunk, I skittered...Ah hell I did a whole bunch of things as walked the length of the room over and over again. Wondering what I could do to relieve myself from this spate of idleness I lost my self in thought so deeply that I ran into a little used device that lay on the floor. Grumbling, I looked down at the object I had stumbled upon. After further inspection I smiled, this was too good to be true...
Turning a knob, I set the Dimensional teleporter's setting to Organized Chaos and stepped into the beam of opalescent light. Before I faded completely from sight I let out a slight giggle...
In another part of the universe a small group of travelers was just getting around to having breakfast. Little did they know that their already bizarre lives were about to be taken to a new level of strangeness...
"Lina, I do believe that you've strangled Gourry enough for the moment. Although he is an interesting shade of blue..." Zelgadiss murmured over his cup of coffee and kaluah. The mug hid his smile of amusement at the normal morning antics. He sighed, remembering a time not long ago when he had found this morning ritual obnoxious and thoroughly childish. How things change... He had even grown accustomed to his fellow travelers, up to the point where he considered them friends. Although a more intimate relationship with one of them would not be undesirable. Damn it Zelgadiss, get those thoughts out of your head, he chastised himself for even considering such a thing. Besides like anyone would want you, you freakish bastard.
As Zelgadiss sunk into a deep blue funk, a high pitched whistling noise began to take shape. When he noticed, his ears pricked up, hoping to find the source of the sound. "Ja, Zelgadiss, what's going on?" Lina asked noticing that her friends ears were pricked up in the radar position.
"Shhh, Lina. I'm trying to find out where this noise is coming from."
With that said the noise rose to a deafening shriek which promptly resolved itself with a POP. The object that was released with said POP, proceeded to land on Zelgadiss' head. The object at hand was none other than me of course.
"Whoa, I forgot that dimensional travel makes me hic nauseous." I then proceeded to vomit that mornings breakfast across the immediate area. Sometimes, it sucks to be me.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," was the disgusted cry rising from the throats of four different people. They then proceeded to look at the pukee, well all except Zelgadiss, I was still seated on his head. Which he responded to by abruptly standing up, thus dislodging me.
"Hey Lina, isn't that an, um, eeto...", everyone waited for his insight "ah, I have it! Elf!" Gourry proclaimed, proud of his skills of deduction. Everyone else collapsed to the ground, once again in shock over his endless capacity for stupidity. Upon rising I eyed him critically.
"Is he always this dense?" I asked the group in general. They nodded. My eyebrow twitched once, and were still.
"Ano, miss? I'm sorry to seem so forward and all, but would you mind telling us your name?" asked Amelia.
"And why you decided to fall on my head," growled Zelgadiss. he brushed back his hair. Yeah, like something that minor could put it out of place.
"Well, it's short, but a story nonetheless." I smiled as I sat down to tell them my tale.