MSTED BY: Yamino Majo, Xelloss Metallium, Valgarv, Zelgadis Greywers
Special Guests: Natalia Stillrage of Tragical Mirth Productions, Megami Yanagi of the Realm of Light
Hiya! I have decided to MST all my depressing fanfics! Thank you, Linafriend, for letting me borrow Natalia! Thank you, Yanagi-san, for coming to the MST! And another note, the Xelloss Problem refers to the fact that Xel seemed to have fallen in love with Natalia because she's everything a Mazoku could want in a mate. In this MST, hopefully we'll solve the Problem, even though it really has nothing to do with the story... Anyway, onward!
navy = document to be MSTed
Author's Note: Hiya! This is going to be a fanfic based on Zelgadis. Even though Xelloss is in this one, the fic is NOT yaoi! NO! I don't write yaoi....yet. Anyway, this is bound to be riddled with errors, the same as the last one. Thanks for reading! Ur...this one isn't gonna be happy either.
The Realm of Darkness, 10:23 p.m.
Majo: ah. That looks much better.
Xel: what looks better?
Majo: No! Shoo! Don't look yet!
Natalia: I am SO going to kill you...
Majo: It'll work, trust me!
Yanagi: are we getting started yet? I have homework!
Majo: Yeah, right. Where's Val and Zel?
Xel: Over in the kitchen getting popcorn-WHAAAT THE HELL!?
Majo: XEL! Language!
Yanagi: You usually yell at Val about that...
Natalia: That's it. You die.
Majo: Ah...the Mst is starting. Shall we begin?
He hated mirrors.
Zel: gee. That's really clear. WHO hates mirrors?
Natalia: MAJO GET BACK HERE NOW!
Xel: Natalia-chan. Pink is NOT your color.
Natalia: SHUT UP! MAJO YOU ARE DEAD!
Val: We're 30 seconds into the fic, people. Some quiet, please?
Hated what they reflected. Hated what he sees in them. Hated what they tell him.
Zel: Can we say: "Incomplete sentences"?
Majo: SHUT UP! Natalia don't kill me! AHH!
Natalia: Get back here! Dill Brando!
Val: Why is Natalia in a pink dress?
Natalia: DON'T LOOK!
Yanagi: I am so confused.
Zel: same here. I think we're all confused.
Xel: Why is Natalia wearing a pink dress? Why is she trying to kill Majo-chan? Putting two and two together, I can only get -
Zel: A clue?
Val: Not four.
Xel: That Majo-chan made Natalia get in that dress.
Everyone: What??!!
He is a monster.
Zel: great, another Xelloss fanfic.
Majo: There there. Natalia, you feel better now?
Natalia: (Mutter)...Kill...(mutter)...stupid little...(mutter)...dead as a...
Majo: I guess not.
Natalia: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'I GUESS NOT'!!! Your PLAN FAILED!
Majo: heheehe. No worry! Calm! Calm!
Sure, he could almost past for human. Lately, he had thought he could actually live with his curse. But it wasn't true. He was doomed to be a monster, a monster that everyone fled from.
Zel: That doesn't sound like Xelloss.
Val: Did you pay attention to the credits?
Zel: no.
Val: That explains everything.
Yanagi: That sounds like something Majo would write.
Majo: HELP ME!!!
Natalia: Pay attention to the movie, people. DIE!
And it wasn't his appearance that was frightening. It was his eyes now. It bothered him, how cold those eyes were. Hard and flinty and unforgiving. A monster's eyes. He remembered when those eyes had been human. They were human the first time he saw his cursed body. The terror in those eyes were human. That was a long time ago. Now his eyes were cold, determined. Obssessed.
Zel: ....You didn't
Xel: She did. What?
Majo: I did what?
Yanagi: Who?
Val: What?
Natalia: How?
Zel: You wrote a fanfic about ME?!!
Majo: Me?
Natalia: (whacks her) Smartass. You've been hanging around Xelloss too long.
Was he obssessed? The cure that he was hunting haunted him. The cure was all that he thought about. Was that obssession?
Everyone: Yes!
Zel: NO!
Xel: Why not?
Val: What's so bad about obsession?
Majo: Obsession is a bad thing. And I can't spell it.
Natalia: You promised you would get rid of him! (points to Xel clinging to her arm) DO IT OR ELSE!
Xel: I love you, Natalia-chan!
Natalia: ARRGGHH! Elmekia Flame!
Those eyes, they are angry now. They were sullen and resentful. They blamed him, glaring frustration and despair and anger. They want him to do something. Anything.
Zel: I think that my eyes are mad at me? Majo-chan, what were you thinking?
Natalia: Knowing her, she probably wasn't.
Majo: hey! That's not...nice...(gets teary)
Yanagi: There there. (glares at everyone) DON'T MAKE HER CRY!
Natalia: ( Remembering the last time that happened) Oh.
Zel: Again, the sentences are completely shot.
Shut up! He screamed silently. Just SHUT UP!
Zel: Now I'm talking to MYSELF? Do you think I'm crazy?
Xel: Is that a rhetorical question?
Val: what's with you and rhetorical questions?
Majo: Do you really want an answer?
Yanagi: Here we go again...
The eyes continued to bore into him. With a snarl, he smashed his fist into the mirror as hard as he could. It shattered, fragmenting and falling and tinkling. The crunch of the shards beneath his fist was satisfying. But those eyes....they were still there, staring back at him out of the shattered pieces.
Zel: I am a cold hearted swordsman! I'm not supposed to be emotional!
Majo: First time for everything.
Natalia: What about HIM?
Xel: What about me, my love?
Natalia: DO SOMETHING AND GET HIM OFF OF ME!
"My, my." an annoying and unwelcomed voice proclaimed. "Is destroying mirrors your new hobby, Zelgadis-san?"
Natalia: (with Xelloss beaten into a pancake at her feet.) That's him. Annoying and unwelcome.
Majo: I agree.
Val: Why did he show up?
Majo: plot device.
Yanagi: Do you even know what that means?
Majo: Uh...no.
Zelgadis turned to glare at Xelloss. "What the hell do you want?"
Natalia: YOU GO ZELGADIS!
Everyone: ...
Natalia: What?
"Touchy." Xelloss smiled. "Why would I want anything?" he asked as he seated himself crosslegged on the chimera's bed.
Majo: Because you always want something.
Yanagi: Because you're you.
Val: Because you want to annoy us.
Natalia: Because you are a sick, twisted, perverted and annoying mazoku.
Xel: What did I say?
"I doubt you're here to make me happy." Zelgadis replied sarcastically. "Make your point or leave. Now."
Zel: Is that really me?
Majo: yup. Sometimes you're even more blunt than Gourry.
"I just wanted to know why you're destroying mirrors, that's all." The Mazoku replied innocently, his smile bright. Zelgadis forced himself to unclench his fist. He hated Xelloss. Maybe more than he hated mirrors.
Xel: Why, Zel, I never knew!
Zel: Shut up.
Why?
Zel: Why what? This makes no sense.
Majo: you're just jealous of my superior writing abilities!
Was it because Xelloss was granted a human guise while he is a total and complete monster inside? Was he angry because of the unfairness of it?
Zel: I'm NOT!
Xel: Why are you denying it? Hmm?
Zel: Why you!
Natalia: Let me join! Let me join!
Majo: Oh, dear...
"If you're so smart, why don't you figure it out?" Zelgadis retorted. Xelloss put a hand to his chin and assumed a thoughtful position as if he had expected such an answer.
Xel: (flattened) Thank you...
Natalia: MAJO-CHAN!
Majo: I'm working on it!
"Well, let's see. Why would one smash a mirror? One must have had some powerful feelings for them to have such an violent outburst. Maybe the mirror reflected the person and he didn't like what he saw? Maybe the mirror showed him the monster inside and he couldn't handle it?" Xelloss picked up one of the pieces, looking at it, still smiling. "Maybe he didn't like the monster he turned into."
Xel: So I'm the psychiatrist now?
Zel: God help me, Xelloss is my counselor.
Majo: indeed.
Zelgadis fought down the chill that ran down his back. How did he...
Xel: Was the chill heavy?
Val: Why did it run down his back?
Majo: YOU GUYS!
"So, did I guess right?" Xelloss asked. Zelgadis shrugged.
Yanagi: Points off for guessing.
Majo: not you too, Yanagi.
Yanagi: oops.
Xel: Join the dark side, Yana-chan!
Yanagi: DON'T CALL ME YANA-CHAN!
"What do you think?" He shot back. "Now that you're done speculating,
will you leave?"
Xelloss smiled his mysterious smile. "Not just yet. I feel like playing the psychiatrist
today. Indulge me a little."
Natalia: Lesson number one: Don't let Xelloss get away with ANYTHING. ANYTHING.
Majo: Natalia is scary...
Natalia: Well?
Majo: I have it all worked out! Yanagi-san?
Yanagi: Ready!
Xel: What?
Natalia and Majo: OHOHOHOHO!
"I don't think so. Leave."
Val: And I thought I was impolite.
The Demon shrugged. "Fine. But tell me one thing, Zelgadis. Has it occurred to you that if you were really a monster, not being human wouldn't bother you at all? If you were really a monster, you wouldn't want to be human."
Xel: Let's play twenty questions!
Yanagi: Now?
Majo: now.
Xel: huh? AAAAHHHHH!!!!
Zelgadis looked at him with shocked eyes. "What?"
"You call yourself a monster, Zelgadis. But do you really know what it means to be a
monster?" Xelloss shrugged. "I saw Amelia on the way up here, and she was pretty messed up.
Good job."
Zel: What did I do to Amelia!? WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO TO HIM!?!
Natalia: what is this?
Majo: oh, you'll see.
Zelgadis looked at him with horror.
Val: uh...
"See? That bothers you. It doesn't bother me at all. Who is the real
monster?" The demon turned to leave.
"Wait."
"I thought you wanted me gone," Xelloss grinned.
Majo: No, this is NOT yaoi! I don't see how Xel and Zel could be a couple...
"Why..why are you telling me this?" That's what he would really like
to know.
"Do you want a real reason or just a reasonable reason?"
Xel: Twenty questions...MAJO-CHAN!
Majo: eh?
Xel: I LOVE YOU!
Majo: ????
Natalia: Xelloss?
Xel: (ignores her and glomps Majo) MAJO-CHANNNNN!
Natalia: YES! I'M FREE!!!!!
"The real reason." Would the two be different?
Xelloss smiled and opened his eyes. "You make a great lunch, Zelgadis. Now, we all know
if you leave out good food, other people are going to eat it too. I just want to make sure I
can keep the Zelgadis Buffet all to myself."
Zel: ZELGADIS BUFFET!!????
Val: Wow, that was bad.
Yanagi: I think I overdid the love spell.
Val: (Eyes Majo-chan trying to pry Xel off.) I agree.
Zel: Just what we need, Xel acting more crazy than usual.
The chimera's eyes widened. "Why, you - !"
"You wanted the real reason." Xelloss giggled. "Now, you'd better get a hold of yourself
and go apologize to Amelia. A good dose of those positive emotions should keep all those other
hungry mazoku away."
"You bastard!"
Natalia: I am in such a good mood.
Majo: PERVERT! DILL BRANDO!
Xel: I love you! I love you!
Zel: You know, that is sickening.
Majo: Yanagi-san! Undo it!
Yanagi: er...I can't
"Yes, I know." The mazoku waved as he faded out. "I'll be glad to counsel you any time you feel the urge to smash those mirrors!"
Xel: Dr. Metallium, Ph.d. at your service.
Majo: I'm sane! I'm sane! Anything but Dr. Metallium!
Zelgadis was speechless for a second. Then Xelloss was gone and he was in the room with the broken mirror and the glass all over the floor. Those eyes were still here...but they were calmer. There was truth in what the monster told him...maybe he wasn't a monster...
Zel: This is so screwed up.
Val: I agree.
Majo: Shut up, will you?
Xel: I love you. (sigh contently)
Majo: eek! Get away!
Natalia: (blissfully) I'm so happy...
Yanagi: (sweatdrop) Did anyone watch the movie at all?
Xel: Nope!
Not yet. His hopes haven't been completely shattered yet.
Xel: can's say the same for the poor mirror, though. Tsk, you're so destructive, Zel.
Zel: WHAT? RA TILT!
Majo: If you put it that way...
Yanagi: This is what? The fourth time you've blown up your Realm?
Majo: I didn't do it! Zel did!
Natalia: I'm so happy...
Majo: You're beginning to sound like Gourry...
Natalia: are you calling me STUPID?!
Majo: NO! I'M NOT! DON'T KILL ME!
Natalia: Making me wear that pink dress! And those flowers and ribbons! You planned this all along, didn't you!?
Majo: I didn't! Don't kill me!
Yanagi: ...
End
Majo: AH! Help me!
Xel: Why are you torturing Majo-chan, Natalia?
Natalia: Because you live with a very devious little witch! DIE!
Majo: I'll never do it again! I'll burn the dress! Don't kill me!
Yanagi: Not everyday you see Majo-cha begging for mercy...it's usually the other way around...
Zel: Great, another wasted hour.
Val: i agree.
Majo: YOU GUYS!