Oh dear, another of my depressing ones..it's better than usual, though, really! This is, obviously, from Lina's past... it's my way of explaining why she's so obsessed with being the best sorceress in the world. So read on, have fun, blaah-dahdah-dahdah. If you can't tell, I wrote this after listening to the song Perfect, by Alanis.
"LINA! GET IN HERE, RIGHT NOW!!"
With a slight wince at the harsh tone of her mother, Lina got up out of her sandbox outside, slowly trudging towards the house. She knew what the problem was... her mother had gone in to school and talked to her teachers today. She knew she was really in for it... With a deep breath, she opened the back door to their little house, biting her lip. There was her mother, sitting at the table of the kitchen, glaring at her.
"What's wrong, Kasan?" She asked softly, trying to pretend she didn't already know.
"You know EXACTLY what's wrong," her mother growled, gesturing to the seat across from her. Swallowing hard, Lina climbed into the seat, folding her hands in her lap. "Now listen, angel," her mother continued, sighing, "you did better this year; you're much higher than most of the students, and you got As in four of your seven classes, and Bs in the rest."
For a moment Lina looked pleased, rather proud of herself; she was in 1st grade, but most of her classes were with 2nd graders. Her expression faded as her mother frowned.
"However... it simply isn't good enough. I want the highest grade possible in every class!"
Lina stared at her mother, her heart sinking into her stomach. Her mother sighed, standing up and smoothing out her white dress with its soft violet flowers on it, then walked over to Lina, kneeling beside her.
"Lina, honey, you know Kasan loves you, right? And that she only wants the best for you, right?" Lina nodded numbly. "Well, in order for your life to be good, you have to be the best. I wasn't good enough when I was little, so I could never be all I wanted... that's why I'm going to make sure you're everything I couldn't be."
Lina bit her lip at hearing that. She was angry; her mother hadn't been good enough, so now she had to live through her daughters? Ever since her father and mother had started fighting nearly every day, her mother had become very insecure with everything. Her father, on the other hand, was simply never home to do so... he was always out drinking with friends, or on trips, and when he was home, all that would happen was fighting between him and Kasan, and occasionally Neechan. When this happened, Lina would lock herself in the basement, which her father used as his personal study. To keep busy, she would read his books on magic and legends, letting it take her to lands far from home, far from the screaming and the crying upstairs.
Her mother growled, bringing Lina back to reality. "You do understand that, don't you, Lina? Since your Tousan obviously doesn't care what happens to you, I have to make sure you're good enough to get along in this world. And to be good enough, you have to be perfect."
Usually, during these talks, Lina would only nod in reply to her mother, too afraid to talk. But lately, she'd been watching Luna stand up to her mother, and actually make progress. Taking a deep breath, Lina looked into her mother's deep blue eyes.
"Kasan... I'm.. just a little girl. I can't BE perfect," she whispered. "Can't you accept me for who I am?"
Lina blinked as her mother stared at her in surprise a moment... then yelped as she slapped her across the face. Tears burned in her eyes, and she whimpered, gripping the back of the chair as her mother stood angrily.
"Don't you DARE talk back to me," she hissed. "I'm doing this for your own damn good, you know that?! I know what's best for you, I've RAISED you, unlike your no-good bastard father!! You think HE cares if you're any good?! DO YOU?!"
She paused a moment, breathing heavily and clenching her fists. Lina tired to hold her tears back, but they escaped down her cheeks. Her mother's eyes narrowed. "What's the problem, why're you crying?! With everything I've done, the least you can do is grow up and be quiet!! You're a big girl now, you can't cry like a baby!"
"Bu..But Kasan, I... I try real hard, I do..!" Lina sobbed. Her mother sighed, and kneeled down, stroking her firey hair.
"I know honey, I know you do... but it's simply not good enough to make me proud."
Somehow, the compassion in her voice made Lina feel even worse. Her mother kissed her forehead, then stood up again, waving her to the door. "Go on now, dinner's almost ready. Get washed up."
Lina hopped from the chair, trudging to the door, but paused before she left, looking over her shoulder. "Kasan? Will you ever... love me for who I am?"
Her mother sighed. "Lina... I'll love you just the way you are... when you're perfect."
Looking away, she left the kitchen, walking to the bathroom to wash her face. I'll show you, Kasan, she thought bitterly, her watery eyes narrowing to crimson slits. I'll show all of you... I'll be the best, better than anyone in the world. I'll show you all. I swear it...