*warning: this fic contains utter silliness and a long overdue tribute to the people who make anime possible, namely: The Techies. ^_^*
- tachi: plural
techies: the underappriciated people backstage of any movie or play that run everything and get no credit for it.
Fly Galley: one of the two upper area that techies (see above note) work from.
Frilly Pink Hammer of Justice used without permission: (we're fixated, sorry!)
Ficcy Author one: A single comment: 'Cue the Shojo Bubbles!' and see what you get!
Ficcy author Two: Anime techies! ^_^v
FA1: *nods sagely*
FA2: *raises an eyebrow* you? sagely? *lol*
FA1: I'm very Sage!
FA2: sage? as in vegtables? ^_^
FA1: *blinks* KISAMA! *dustcloud fight*
ChibiChichiri: we are experiencing bad puns and technical difficulties no da. Without any further ado no da. On with the fic no da!!
The usual group (aka Lina, Amelia, Gourry and Zelgadis) are walking down the forested road to Sairaag. It is a glorious day, the birds chirping, the sun is shining, the light fixture is falling... *smash* impact right in front of Lina-tachi.
From above, a voice is heard: #@_($^#&@^$_@#^$#^
Lina-tachi: *blink, blink, sweatdrop, facefault.*
*Two SD figures in coveralls appear, one cringing, the other smacking the cringer over the head with a roll of duct tape*
techy SD One: I SAID LEFT! YOU NAMAGOMI BAKA YAROU! *SMACKSMACKSMACK*
techy SD Two: >.< Itai!! It wasn't MY fault! Minna:...<----(this is also known as 'stunned silence')
techy one: Don't give me that crap, just GET IT OUT OF HERE!!!
techy two: *still cringing* yes boss... *drags the light fixture offstage*
techy one: okay, sorry about that. carry on! *disappears offstage*
Lina: right... *sweatdrop* whatever... Anyway....
Zelgadis: So why are we going to Sairaag?
Amelia: *jumps to the nearest tree and points to the sun (aka, the new light fixture)* the evil lurking in the fair city of Sairaag shall be smited by the allies of peace and love, wielding the power of the Frilly Pink Hammer of Justice(tm)
Prompter one: *nervously inches up to the tree, clutching a large and unwieldy script, and tugs on Amelia's leg* excuse me Miss Amelia, but the Frilly Pink Hammer of Justice is trademarked, you were supposed to say 'the Hammer of Justice'.
Amelia: *sweatdrop* eheheheheh... sorry about that, I'll do it over..-
Minna: *waves arms in negating gestures* No!nonononono!
Director: *BIG sweatdrop* that's okay Amelia-chan, we can edit it out later.. e he he he...
Amelia: eh? *looks puzzled* Okay! *poses and flashes a victory sign*
Director: okay... ACTION!
Lina: Yes, we're going to destroy the evil Darklord, Tele-Barney, then we'll grab all the loot and enjoy a large victory feast *eyes get starry as she starts to drool, with scenes of tables apon tables of food in the background*
Zelgadis: I thought we were going there because the High Temple of Sairaag was rumored to have a clue to the whereabouts of the Claire Bible.
Gourry: *looks puzzled, then pulls out a script and flips through the pages* Hold it guys, it says here we're going to Sairaag for it's famous Catonese Style Sweet and Sour pork!
Lina: *pissed* gimme! *snatches the script from jellyfish brains* Hey, wait a minute... *blink* it does say that.
Minna: *pulls out their scripts*
Amelia: but mine says -
Zelgadis: it says right here that -
Lina: No! Look at this page: see -
Director: KUSO! *stalks onstage, looking at the scripts..* Not again! Stupid screenwriters... *grumble, gripe, complains, and other such comments* Okay, we'll get this straightened out.
*ScreenWriters Appear from the wings, fighting about what's going to happen*
Screen writer one: but you said the Claire Bible!
screen writer two: I did not! I said evil Darklord-
screen writer three: but the food is so much more interesting than your pathetic excuse for a plot!
SW2: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
SW3: WHY SHOULD I?
Screen writer four: guys, we could just...
SW4: that too.. *sweatdrop*
Lina: *starts glowing, calmly* darkness beyond twilight,
Zelgadis: *eyes get big* uh-oh
Amelia: *sweatdrop* not again...
Gourry: what's going on?
Lina: ...crimson beyond blood that flows... etc...etc...
*Zelgadis casts a quick Shield over Amelia, Gourry, and himself*
Lina: DRAGON SLAVE!
*Screenwriters, director, and the techies get blown into a nearby hospital(literally!!!)*
Zelgadis: *releases the Shield spell and looks at the rubble* You realize that without the techies, director, and screenwriters we can't do the show. Lina: Of course we can do the show! We're the stars! without us there wouldn't be a show, after all! *waits for the usual lightning background, which never comes* well? *looks around frantically* where's the Weird Anime Background(tm)?
Amelia: Miss Lina, you blew up the techies, there's no one to work the special effects anymore.
Xellos:*phases in, as if on cue (the prompters somehow survived)* my, my, Lina-chan, what have you done now? ^_^
Zelgadis: *sarcastic* She had a temper tantrum and blew up the techies, director, and screenwriters. *rolls his eyes*
Lina: TEMPER TANTRUM!?! FIREBALL!
Lina: oh, I forgot. *sweatdrop*
Xellos: My, my. Looks like you guys need someone to run the effects while the poor techies are in the hospital, eh, minna-san? ^_^
Zelgadis: *sarcastically* Are you volunteering? How nice... -_-;
Xellos: Yes, isn't it? *floats up to the fly galley* ^_^
Lina: wait a minute Xellos! we never -
Xellos: my, these controls look complicated. I'm going to need some help, I hope you don't mind if I bring in a few extra people. ^_^
Lina: I said wait, Xellos-
*suddenly Prince Phil, Naga, Martina and Sylpheel appear out of no where*
Prince Phil: We heard the whole thing and we'd be only too happy to help my darling Amelia with her show!
Amelia: *sparkly eyes (but no Shojo bubbles -_-;)* DADDY!! *run towards him*
Phil: AMELIA! *Big sappy hug*
Minna: *turns blue*
Lina: I'm gonna get cavities.
Xellos: *hands Lina a toothbrush* ^_^
Lina: *smacks Xellos upside the head without changing her expression*
Naga: *already backstage* OHOHOHOHOHO! Of course I want to keep an eye on my biggest rival! I'll run the left panel.
Sylpheel: I'll take the right panel.
Phil: I'll help Xellos with the main one on top. Remember people, The Show Must Go On!
Martina: *helps Sylpheel at the stage right panel* Break a leg, Lina Inverse. *grinz ferally*
Lina: *covers her face with her hands* This is going to be a long episode.
Amelia: *poses* As long out hearts are filled with the love of justice, nothing will stand in our way!
Zelgadis: shut up, Amelia. *sighs and shakes his head*
Gourry: *looks confused* so what are we doing again?
Lina: Don't worry Gourry, *pats him reassuringly* you'll hear in the voiceover for the next episode.
end part one... *big evil fruitcakey Grinz*
FA2: that was interesting.
FA1: isn't it always?
FA2: why do we always end up writing these kind of fics?
FA1: because we're stalling.
FA2: oh, I forgot about that. oops...
FA1: see what I mean?
*OC Tsunami of Guilt washes in from the framwork of the frigging huge Epic we're 'supposed' to be working on. *sweatdrop* and hovers threateningly*
FA2: eh he he... looks at the time! I...uh..have some stuff to do!.. THAT'S IT! *zoom*
FA1: Chotto Matte!
*Both Ficcy authors run screaming for the exit, The Tsunami hot on their heels*
ChibiChichiri: no daaaaa......
Part 2 | Fanfiction