The author is pale blue, just 'cause this color is growing on me.
Valgarv gets to be teal 'cause it's a cool color ^_^
Ah. Weird little ficcie here, taking place right after Val summons Dark Star in Try. The beginning is a little dark and slightly angsty, but it gets noticeably less serious after that.
It gets noticeably more stupid.
Shut up. ¬_¬
He was smiling. And why shouldn't he be, damn it? Everything he'd worked for during the past few years was finally going to come together. He had done it. He, Valgarv, last of the Ancient Dragon race, had fulfilled his late master's wishes. Dark Star was here. (And day-um, was he uuuglay!) He (it?) was all gleaming black stone-like flesh and slavering jaws and glowing crimson eyes, very much the cliché Evil Bad Guy. The nightmare of all human life writhed and twisted, lunging forward to break free of the final bonds that had for so long restrained it from this world. It surged downward toward Val, roaring like an injured elephant all the while.
"Going to devour me first, you pathetic dark lord?" Valgarv asked softly, amber eyes gleaming in fierce joy mingled with bittersweet irony. His lips peeled back in a feral grin, exposing needle-sharp teeth. "Very well, then. You can have me!"
Dark Star, the eager demon that it (he?) was, needed no further prompting. Down it came, swift as a falling axe, engulfing the Dragon in waves of black fire. The tendrils of darkness wrapped noose-like around Val's neck, lancing through his wings, whipping around his arms. There was a considerable amount of pain, but it was the clean, physical kind that was a welcome relief from the emotional agony that had all but overwhelmed his soul after his lord had died. He was vaguely aware of someone screaming his name in a voice so filled with grief that for a moment, he felt a twinge of discomfort, guilt. But he couldn't put a face to that voice, couldn't remember who he was leaving behind, and let it slip from his mind.
So, Val mused, as he was torn violently from the world he'd hated so much, this is what death feels like. Then they were gone; Dark Star, Armace, that damnable Lina Inverse and her gang of idiots. The cries of shock and fear were replaced by a deep, profound silence that Valgarv immediately took a liking to. He was floating in an empty place, one that he sensed stretched out into infinity. It was dark, but it was peaceful, and peace was all he really cared about. There was a slight shift in reality, a hint of familiarity that nudged at the edge of his senses.
"Valgarv."
No. Impossible. He was imagining things. No one had called out to him.
"Valgarv..."
It was just his tortured mind trying to put him through another ordeal that, as far as he was concerned, could go stuff itself.
"ARE YOU DEAF, KISAMA?!"
Val turned slowly, dread weighing down on his heart and hope pulling it back up. His eyes widened, lips parting in a soundless interjection of surprise. Those broad shoulders... that mane of blood-red hair... the proud stance, the regal nose, the short pleated skirt showing off a rather large amount of hairy legs...
"Nani?!"
Sailor Gaav pranced toward him, pinching the hem of the atrocious garment between thumb and forefinger. "Valgarv, it's me, your cuddly Gaavie-poo!"
L-sama, no, I'm in hell! Well, he shouldn't have been so surprised. He hadn't expected to be sent to any form of paradise, but this... This was beyond eternal torment. This was a level of excruciating mental flagellation that no dark lord could ever hope to surpass in its sheer destructiveness of sanity.
"My Val-kun," the hellish vision of Gaav crooned, holding his arms out.
Valgarv shrieked and, executing a perfect 180-degree half-pirouette, tore down the brightly lit hall that conveniently popped into existence. Framed pictures of his master in various states of undress lined the pink wallpapered walls, including a calendar edition of Gaav performing an obscene and biologically impossible act with a farm animal.
"Oh, gods," the panic-stricken Dragon whimpered, trying to cover his eyes and flee in terror at the same time. He'd done nothing to deserve this. Then again... maybe he had, but he'd had very good reasons for acting so beautifully evil in his previous life. Vengeance, damn it, vengeance!
A door to his right swung open, a brown-haired youth standing just inside, garbed in a tank top and, of all things, spandex biker shorts. He caught Valgarv's eyes, eyebrows furrowing, and intoned, "Omae o korosu."
"What the hell did I do to you?!" Val demanded, but the door slammed shut before the spandexy creature could reply. He skidded to a stop as a curtain at the end of the hall moved aside, revealing a couple clasping hands and staring deeply into each other's eyes.
"Tamahome," the girl breathed in a strangely high-pitched, dubbed voice, her abnormally large eyes shining with pure adoration, her cheeks glowing pink with delight. Valgarv felt a cavity beginning to form in one of his molars.
"Miaka," Tamahome said gravely in a deep, I'm-so-manly tone, tugging at his pants and making a half-hearted attempt at keeping his gaze on the girl's face, rather than other areas of her anatomy.
She scowled suddenly, her expression darkening. "You left me for that slut."
His eyes narrowed into slits. "Don't talk about Yui that way. Besides," he added off-handedly, "she was more willing to run around wearing nothing but a half-buttoned shirt."
Miaka broke into tears. "I don't have to take this from you! I can have anyone I want! Like... like... HIM!" And launched herself at Val, who spat a startled curse and danced out of range.
"Crazy bitch," he hissed, reflexively moving his hands into spell-casting position.
"Amen, brother," Tamahome said with an approving nod.
Valgarv shot him a withering glare. "You shut up. I'm getting the f*** out of here." As if prompted by his words, a roughly square opening materialized into the wall beside him. He seized the suspiciously punctual opportunity and dove through the window, tucking himself into a roll to soften his fall. He ended up landing on a grassy field, dotted with wildflowers with and an occasional tree. This is better, Val thought, allowing himself a faint smile. Maybe he'd managed to escape to heaven, after all.
There was a clank of armor behind him. "You there," a knight called, jabbing a sword in the Dragon's general direction. "State your name, rank, and business!"
Valgarv heaved a weary sigh, sizing up the knight with the SDed blonde elf hanging off his arm, and didn't even bother to respond.
Parn blinked a few times, then ducked his head to whisper to the elf. "What shall we do about him, Deedlit?"
"Oh, Parn," she said, again in a high-pitched, dubbed voice, "you're so cool!"
"I am, aren't I?" he admitted, preening.
Deedlit beamed, sharply pointed ears swiveling in pleasure, and ripped his armor off to reveal a tasseled belly-dancer outfit stamped with tiny SD Xelloss designs.
Nope. Still in hell.
Clutching fistfuls of aqua hair, Valgarv beat a hasty retreat with a strangled scream of frustration. It took a few minutes for him to get himself under enough control to notice that he wasn't getting anywhere. He was running as fast as he'd ever run before, but it was as if he were dashing on a...
...giant... hamster... wheel...
It was then that he noticed the bars. Giant iron bars stretching upward out of his range of sight, stabbing into the darkness that hid the ceiling from view. Otherwise, the stone chamber he was standing in looked like an exact replica of a room in the base he'd used while he was still alive. Yes, there was Jirasu, chattering animatedly to Gravos, who seemed perfectly fine after his ordeal with Lina Inverse.
"What're we gonna do tonight, Boss?" Jirasu was saying.
"What we do every night, Jirasu," Gravos replied, planting a large hand on a map spread out on the table beside him. "Try to take over the world!"
Valgarv turned his back on them, slamming his head against the bars repeatedly. I'm never going to get out of here, he thought grimly. I'm never going to be able to enjoy anything, never going to see Gaav-sama without that accursed Sailor Moon costume... Well, this what I get for working against the gods. Suddenly it all became too much for him, and with a muffled sob, he curled up in the corner and quietly cried himself to sleep.
Aww...
I hate you.
^_^;