Okay..Before you all sit down and read the dribble that I scribbled, I should give you a few words of warning. I am a big, BIG Xelloss fan, so throughout the story, if you feel that I am picking on certain characters more then others..I am, because anyone who hurts MY Xelloss, will be punished severely. Second, just because I am Queen of the Universe and control everyone and everything, that does not mean that I OWN everyone and everything. Sailor Moon and Slayers are property of their respective creators and I do not take credit for them. And finally, this reality takes place during Sailor Moon Super S, so before you read, you might want to get a little 411 on that particular series in general. Sit back, relax and enjoy the production..
Queen of Universe: You know why I called you all here, right?
All: No..
Zelgadis: In fact, all we remember is a bunch of guys dressed in black, throwing us into cages and dragging us here against our will.
QoU: Oh well, that's your problem, Zelgadis. Anyhoo. I have called you here because I have a very important job for all of you.
Lina: YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE FOOD!! ::snarl::
Gourry: What's going on? Who is that?
QoU: Let me introduce myself. I am the all powerful Queen of the Universe ::pauses for applause::. I control all and it has been brought to my attention that a great unjust thing has occurred! Because they aren't being paid well or the Neo Queen took away their medical or something, the whole cast of Sailor Moon is on strike!
Xelloss: I heard of that! A lot of Otaku are very angry with that news.
QoU: Exactly ::swoons over Xelloss for a minute::. Anyhoo, someone needs to complete the Super S series..and the scabs will be you.
All: WHAT?!
QoU: Yes..I already have your parts assigned and I will read them as soon as Zelgadis and Valgaav put down their weapons and take their seats ::they do, but hesitantly::. Thank you. Now then, Sailor Moon will be played by-
Amelia: OH ME!! Sailor Moon is so just! She is always protecting love and justice!
QoU: Miss Lina Inverse.
Lina and Amelia: WHAT?!
QoU: Lina eats just as much as Serena does and she is the main character of the story. Besides, I don't think the world is ready for you to have that much power. Plus the series wouldn't be any fun if we replaced a justice loving Princess with another justice loving Princess.
Amelia: BUT MISS LINA WILL-
QoU: Shut up before I snap my fingers and turn you into dust.
Phibrizo: Have you been practicing?
QoU: Yes..but only on cardboard cut outs of the annoying characters, although is certain annoying characters don't keep their justice loving mouths shut then I might just..
Amelia: SORRY! I'll stay quiet.
QoU: Thank you..Next, Sailor Chibi Moon will be played by the one, the only..pint sized monster Phibrizo!
Phibrizo: WHAT?! BUT I-
QoU: YOU are Rini, no questions. Let's move on, shall we? Next..I have cast Zangulus as Tuxedo Mask and-
Martina: BUT LINA INVERSE IS SAILOR MOON! I know this story! Those two are hopeless romantics who, through think and thin, no matter the enemy, always stay together and --
QoU: Okay, you are SO on my vaporizing list. Next on the list is Sailor Mars, who will be played by Sylphiel ::shudders at name::.
Sylphiel: Oh Yea! I get to be in another show with Gourry Dear!
Zelgadis: Can you administer the aspirin now?
Sylphiel: I can use my flare arrow! ::sets up for flare arrow::
QoU: ::Locks Sylphiel out of casting room:: It was between her and Nahga. Besides, Sailor Mars won't be in many scenes. Next we have Amelia playing Sailor Mercury.
Amelia: I guess that is an okay part..I should have been Sailor Moon..
QoU: ::snaps fingers and blows up empty chair next to Amelia:: Next, we have Martina as Sailor Jupiter for no other reason except that it was process of elimination. It was between her and Erulogos, but if i cast Erulogos, Serius would have needed a part too and I didn't want the extra work. Sailor Venus will be played by Filia because of your hair. It was between you and Gourry, who is playing Pegasus.
Gourry: What's a Pegasus? Is it a banana?
Lina: JELLYFISH BRAINS!!
Filia: Sailor Venus! What a great part! I get to fight on the side of justice..and for once, I am not paired up with Xelloss.
Xelloss: I'm not that bad.
Valgaav: Yes you are.
Zelgadis: He's right, you are.
QoU: FIREBALL! ::Zelgadis and Valgaav are fried:: As the Queen of the Universe, I will not allow you to bad mouth MY Xelloss.
Xelloss: YOUR Xelloss?
QoU: We'll talk. Next on my list are the members of the Dead Moon Circus. As the Queen, or rather King, of Darkness, Nehelania..We have Demon Dragon King Gaav!
Gaav: That is the crappiest part in the whole story.
Phibrizo: You think you have a crappy part? Why don't we switch and YOU can wear the pink fuku.
Gaav: Listen Kid --
Phibrizo: ::gets ready to snap fingers::
QoU: Boys, boys..Calm down. You can blow each other up later. Zirconia will be played by Rezo, whilst his counterpart Zircon will be played by Copii Rezo.
Copii Rezo: But I must surpass the original! I cannot be sidekick to "him".
Rezo: Copii's can never surpass the originals ::sticks out tongue and chants 'neener neener neener'::.
Copii Rezo: Can too.
Rezo: Can not.
Copii Rezo: Can too.
Rezo: Can not.
QoU: Okay, moving on ::gives the Rezos a really weird look:: and last, but definintely not least, the boys playing some of the best anime villains ever! Valgaav is Tigers Eye, Xelloss is Hawks Eye and Zelgadis is Fish Eye!
Valgaav, Xelloss, Zelgadis: Who?
QoU: You will all find out soon enough. Now, here are your costumes, props and scripts. Get them on as soon as possible and we can start and-
Lina: What in God's name is this? ::holds up sailor fuku::
Valgaav: HELL NO! I AM NOT WEARING SPEEDOS AND TIGHTS! A BELLY SHIRT?!
Zelgadis: MY CHARACTER'S GAY?! but..but..
Copii Rezo: A tee shirt with a target on it and a pair of black novelty wings? A hat with a candle glued to the top of it?
QoU: Heh Heh..Sorry about that. We spend the last of our budget on a Fooz ball table. Besides, that's an eyeball, not a target.
Phibrizo: Pink..so much Pink...
Zangulus: AH HAHAHAHA!! Now we shall duel, Gourry. As mortal enemies, I shall destroy you!
QoU: Nope...sorry, no fighting. The only fighting that will occur will be between the scouts and the Amazon Trio. OKAY! Is everyone dressed?
Lina: ::grits teeth:: Yes.
Sylphiel: Yes...although I would have preferred a more modest outfit.
Amelia: Y...Yes Miss. Queen of the Universe.
Martina: Yes...and with these "powers" of mine, I will destroy you, Lina Inverse! AH HAHAHAHA!!
Lina: FIREBALL! ::No responce:: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!
QoU: You are wearing the Sailor Fuku, therefore the only powers you can use are Sailor Scout Powers.
Xelloss: Miss. Queen of the Universe, Zelgadis and Valgaav aren't in their costumes yet ::smiles mischieviously::
QoU: Amelia, Martina, please put on the Amazon Trio outfits. If Zelgadis and Valgaav don't like their current outfits then we have alternates.
Zelgadis and Valgaav: ::throws on outfits:: fine.
QoU: Okay...now that everyone is ready...let's start the show!
Double Trouble
QoU: This episode opens with Serena and Rini fighting over who Darien is going to spend his time with.
Lina: Okay, let me see here. OH DARIEN! LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES! What am I saying?
Phibrizo: ::in a really high squeeky voice:: No way, SerenA. Darien is coming shopping with me!
Lina: MOVIES!
Phibrizo: SHOPPING!
Lina: MOVIES!
Phibrizo: ::snaps fingers and blows up a city block:: Shopping...
Lina: Fireball! I'm not in my fuku, so I can kick your ass!
Phibrizo: ::starts to snap:: Zangulus is coming shopping with me!
Lina: Darkness beyond twilight, Crimson beyond blood that flows. Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows --
QoU: STOP! What are you doing?! Stick to the script! I am SO regretting this.
Zangulus: Look, it's Mina.
QoU: Enter Mina walking with a disguised Hawks Eye.
Filia: NO WAY! THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING ON A DATE WITH XELLOSS!!!
Xelloss: I'm really not that bad, Filia.
Filia: DIRTY MONSTER! ::whacks him with mace:: I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!!
Xelloss: But we make just the cutest couple! ::big starry eyes::
Filia: AAAAAHHHHH!!! ::grabs hair::
Xelloss: Oh Mina, you're just so cute!
Filia: DIE!! ::goes at him with mace::.
QoU: Okay you two ::grabs Filia's mace::. Please stick to the script! ::sigh:: I am going to be in SO much trouble when the Neo-Queen sees this. Listen Filia, you aren't dating Xelloss, Mina is dating Hawks Eye. Please continue without any problems.
Filia: ::grits teeth:: Oh, you're just so wonderful!
Xelloss: ::links arms with Filia:: And you are just so cute! I could stay like this forever!
Filia: I JUST CAN'T STAND IT! ::punches Xelloss and proceeds to beat the living snot out of him::.
QoU: FOR THE LOVE OF MAN! ::vein pops out of forehead:: Switch to diner scene! In this scene, the girls are talking about Mina's new boyfriend and --
Filia: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! ::hits Xelloss again::
QoU: ::sigh:: Proceed...
Lina: Yeah...We saw Mina with a really cute guy today! Do you think it's her new boyfriend?!
Amelia: Miss. Serena, it isn't just to spy on Miss. Mina?
QoU: STOP! ::grabs Amelia by shirt collar:: Follow...the...script...
Amelia: Sorry...!
Martina: So, how was your date with Darien?! ::cletches table cloth::
Lina: ::smirks:: OH! It was so wonderful! We went to a romantic movie and then to a romantic lunch and then we --
Martina: I WILL DESTROY YOU, LINA INVERSE!
Lina: Just try it!
Sylphiel: Isn't that Mina now? And with her boyfriend.
QoU: They all look out the window and notice that Mina is with a different guy.
Lina: ::chunks of Martina's hair in her hands:: That isn't the same guy from before.
Valgaav: I can't control this animal ::motorcycle stops then pops forward:: WHY DO I HAVE TO RIDE THIS CONTRAPTION?!
QoU: Here we go, listen Valgaav, just sit on it and don't try to drive it...I am surrounded by morons. Switch to Tigers Eye and Mina on a motorcycle.
Valgaav: Queen of the Universe, why is it that i am taking so much time to get this girl's "dream mirror"?
QoU: Listen, I didn't write the story, I just direct it. You know...the faster you perform, the faster you can get back to summoning darkstar.
Valgaav: ::sigh:: I'll see you later, Mina.
QoU: Okay, Let me see...Mina walks into diner all starry eyed and bragging about her dates and how cute they all are.
Sylphiel: So...who are...the hunks, Mina? ::reads from script like a drone::
QoU: Next time with more attitude, alright?
Filia: Well, the guy you saw me with earlier is a dirty heap of raw garbage named Charle Tikano and Jack is the hard ass on the motorcycle.
QoU: I am SO dead. Please, I beg you to stick to the script.
Amelia: Do you have to go out with both of them, Miss. Mina? It is so unjust.
Filia: I know it's wrong to play with both of their hearts, but they just can't resist my good looks and great personality.
Xelloss: A selfish, vain golden dragon?
QoU: Xelloss! You're not in this scene! Why me? I can see this is going no where. Let's switch scenes. Here we are in the center ring of the Dead Moon Circus tent and the Amazon Trio are being chewed out by a frustrated Zirconia.
Rezo: Amazon Trio! Are you there?
Zelgadis: No shi --
QoU: Eep...this is a family story, no profanity.
Rezo: Amazon Trio, have you succeeded in capturing the dreams of the young lady that I showed you yesterday?
Xelloss: Well, Master Zirconia, The young lady that you picked is rather hostile, selfish and annoying. I hardly think that she has beautiful dreams ::gets hit with mace::
QoU: FILIA! STAY OUT OF THIS SCENE! XELLOSS! Abide by the script...::cowers in corner:: they don't even care about my job or reputation ::sniff::
Rezo: I didn't choose that girl...my copii did.
Copii Rezo: Did not.
Rezo: Did too.
Copii Rezo: Did not.
Xelloss: In any case, we have almost captured her dreams, master Zirconia and Copii Zirconia.
QoU: ZIRCON!
Valgaav: Master Zirconia! May I have a decent pair of pants?
QoU: AAAAAHHHHH!!! ::starts to rip out hair:: SWITCH TO DEAD MOON CIRCUS LOUNGE! ::takes a gulp of water and a deep breath:: Hawks Eye is sitting at the bar as Tigers Eye walks in.
Xelloss: Hey! This drink is pretty good! I want more! Oh yes...Hello Tigers Eye...How was your date with Mina? ::takes a swig::
Valgaav: Great...she is putty in my hands. How about you?
Xelloss: ::takes another drink and orders another round:: Now that, Tigers Eye, is a secret...
QoU: ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!
Xelloss: Fine...Very well, Tiger. I will have her dreams by this afternoon ::takes another drink, face starts to get flushed::.
Valgaav: HA! Yeah right, she isn't even falling for you.
Xelloss: ::hic:: yesh she iz ::hic::.
QoU: There is hardly any alcohol in that drink at all! How many did you drink?!
Xelloss: About fishteen ::hic::.
QoU: For the love of man! If you are sober enough to continue, please do ::pulls out aspirin::.
Valgaav: She would never fall for you, she loves me!
Xelloss: She loves me ::hic::
Zelgadis: I won't do it ::sits arms crossed::
QoU: Why not? You, of all people, I thought would follow the script. Please, if I lose my job, I will destroy you all ::cracks knuckles:: now...continue.
Zelgadis: I WON'T!
QoU: YOU'LL ONLY BE EMBARASSED ONCE! ::eyes turn all red and flames burst from the ground:: just...do...it.
Zelgadis: ::to self:: Damn...why in the hell do I have to do this? ::sighs and runs up and grabs Xelloss' toga top:: Oh please don't fight over me! ::shakes Xelloss very hard to vent anger::.
Xelloss: ::goofy smile:: why ::hic:: does your outfit look like bubble wrap?
Valgaav: We weren't fighting over YOU ::Zelgadis cringes:: We were fighting over Mina, the murderer of my race!
Xelloss: Correction Valgaav, Filia had nothing to do with the death of the Ancient Dragons. Well, not Filia alone, just all of her selfish race ::takes drink of coffee to sober up::.
Valgaav: ::grabs Xelloss by toga shirt:: Didn't your people kill Lord Gaav because you were selfish?
Gaav: I'm right here.
Valgaav: LORD GAAV! ::crys and hugs Gaav::.
QoU: GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THAT MIRROR! I'm surrounded. Please, I will pay you all extra if you stick to the script!
Valgaav: This is a stupid script! Who would be worried about three transsexual aliens from a circus? They aren't even after anything important. Dream Mirrors? What in the hell is that all about?
Xelloss: So true...I mean, if I was a transsexual alien who had the power to plunge this world into darkness, then I would do it in one quick, public swoop and instead of trying to capture Pegasus to get his crystal, I would destroy him, steal the crystal, then sell it on E-Bay for twice it's value.
Zelgadis: Fruitcake...not a transsexual alien, but a fruitcake of a monster.
QoU: RAW TILT! ::frys Zelgadis:: MY Xelloss is not a fruitcake, nor a transsexual alien. He LOVES me...
Xelloss: I do?
QoU: Heh Heh...Later, Xel-darling, we'll talk later ::eyes turn into hearts and cherry blossoms and sappy love music come into play::.
All except Xelloss: Eh?
Xelloss: ::smiles nervously:: Okay...I think that we should move on. Let me see, ::inhales a deep breath:: You know, Tigers Eye, I think that the person who succeeds in winning Mina's heart should be the victor...
Valgaav: And the loser shall leave the tent and become a normal human being.
Zelgadis: I LOSE! I ADMIT IT! I AM THE LOSER! I WILL LEAVE AND BECOME HUMAN!
Xelloss: Sorry Fish ::winks:: this is only between Tiger and myself. Besides, you only target men ::smiles mischieviously:: remember?
Zelgadis: DIE! ::starts to throw trick novelty daggers at Xelloss:: I WILL DESTROY YOU!
QoU: ::sigh:: FLARE ARROW! ::Zelgadis is burned to a cinder...crispy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside like a muffin:: You'll never learn, will you? As long as I am in control of the Universe, MY Xel-Baby will not be fried, beaten, and/or scewered by the likes of you. Now then, let us continue before the Neo-Queen and her deafeningly annoying scouts come along and lecture me on the art of choosing actors that FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!
Xelloss, Zelgadis, Valgaav: ::cringe::
QoU: Now then, switch to Mina's room where she is getting ready for her date with Hawks Eye.
Filia: PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO!! ::cries bloody hell::
Amelia: But Miss Mina, you have been waiting for this date for ages.
Filia: NONONONONO!!! ::kicks and screams::
Martina: I really don't understand you. Master Xelloss is just so cute! If only he wasn't a monster...
Lina: BUT YOU HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT ME AND ZANGULUS AND NOW YOU CALL XELLOSS CUTE?! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM MARTINA?!
Martina: My problem is you and Zangulus! I'll destroy you, Lina Inverse!
Lina: Bring it on, Martina...Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows -
Amelia: MISS. LINA, DON'T! YOU'LL DESTROY MISS. FILIA'S FAKE SAILOR SCOUT BEDROOM!
Lina: Let me go, Amelia. I am way to pissed off to spare Martina now! Let me go! AAAAAHHHH!!! ::proceeds to pull out hair::.
Sylphiel: Miss. Filia, you are ruining the set!
Filia: ::smashes room with mace:: I WON'T GO OUT WITH THAT MONSTER!
QoU: ::sashé's into room after taking a little trip to the soda machine:: WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ROOM?! WHY ISN'T FILIA DRESSED?!
Sylphiel: She refuses to go out with Xelloss again.
Filia: I won't do it ::crosses arms and flops on to smoking bed:: you can't make me!
Lina: FOR THE LOVE OF MAN! Come on, Filia! Just do it so we can get this over with!
Martina: You just want to get past this scene so you could meet up with Zangulus again.
QoU and Lina: Darkness beyond twilight --
Amelia: Please you two! can we hurry this up? We still have a prophecy to decifer!
QoU: Alright ::grits teeth:: Mina gets dressed for date.
Filia: I can't believe that I have to do this ::puts on dress::.
QoU: Switch to Rini's room where she talks to Pegasus...L-sama please have mercy.
Phibrizo: ::looks blankly at glowing orb thingy:: and I am suppose to talk to this thing?
QoU: ::annoyed:: Yes...
Phibrizo: And Gourry's voice is going to come out of it?
QoU: ::breaks pencil:: Yes...
Phibrizo: Does he use a megaphone or --
QoU: ::grabs and shakes Phibrizo violently:: YES, HE USES A MEGAPHONE! START THE DAMN SCENE! ::shakes with extreme anger::
Phibrizo: ::sigh:: Pegasus? Do you believe you can have two true loves? What is this crap?
QoU: Just read...::vein pops out of forehead::
Gourry: Um...what is my part? Is it the one under all the highlighted line labeled "my part"?
QoU and Phibrizo: o_O...
QoU: Ahem...I will let that one slide for I am saving my frustration for scenes to come. The highlighed parts, if you please?
Gourry: ::reads into backstage microphone:: No...you can only devote yourself to one person...what?
Phibrizo: But Mina is...playing? What is with the crappy slang? Trippin'? Phat? Tight? ::sigh:: is going out with ::smiles:: two guys at once. That's wrong, she should tell them.
Gourry: I'm lost.
Phibrizo: ::snaps fingers and blows up orb:: screw morals.
QoU: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! A sailor scout would never say that!! ::looks at dust pile:: That is SO coming out of my paycheck.
Phibrizo: ::stomps on dust pile:: SEE YOU IN HELL, STUPID ANNOYING HORSE!
QoU: ::twitch:: Oh Gods...what have I done? I have completely ruined Sailor Moon! ::sigh:: switch to Mina walking to park ::sighs and walks off::.
Filia: Ten minutes late, great! Okay, off to the park!
QoU: Mina walks into the park to see both Hawks Eye and Tigers Eye in the same place...go on Filia!
Filia: Oh no! I made a date with both of them?! Oh well! I guess I can't go out with Xelloss!
QoU: Nope, you're wrong! Read on ::laughs mischieviously::.
Filia: ::sigh:: Let's get this over with. I made a date with both so I will date both! ::runs out from behind a tree:: Jack! Hi!
Valgaav: You're late, Mina. Not that I care ::blushes::
Filia: I ran all the way here. I'm really thirsty.
Valgaav: What do you want me to do about it?
Filia: ::twitch:: Can you get me a drink?
Valgaav: Do you have money?
QoU and Filia: JUST GO!
Valgaav: ::shrieks and runs off in terror::.
Filia: ::sulks over to other side of pillar:: Charle, hi.
Xelloss: OH MINA! ::gives her a big kiss on the lips and pulls her tight:: I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!
QoU and Filia: XELLOSS!
Xelloss: ::smiles mischievously:: Let's go see a movie, Mina! I know a great one that is playing across town, very, VERY far away from here...where Tigers Eye is no where to be found. So if you were trying to date us both, you would have to run back and forth, back and forth, across the whole town to keep us in check until-
QoU: STOP GIVING AWAY THE EPISODE!! ::eyes dilate:: You have no idea, do you? ::cries out loud:: I AM SO FIRED!!
Xelloss: Let me get this straight. The Amazon trio has attack how many girls?
QoU: At least five, your point?
Xelloss: And the Sailor Scouts have yet to recognize us?
Valgaav: Seriously, Look at these freaks ::holds up piccie of Amazon Trio:: Just the hair alone is enough to give them away.
Xelloss: And why is it that we don't recognize this girl as Sailor Venus? And why is it that we only choose friends or aquaintances of the Sailor Scouts, the cats and Tuxedo Mask?
QoU: AAAAHHHH!! No more questions? CONTINUE WITH THE SCENE! Why didn't I choose a reliable set of anime scabs? RayEarth, Escaflowne, Utena, anyone except the series with the bandit killers, mischievious monsters and hostile dragons?
Filia: Come on, Charle. Let's go see that movie.
QoU: They arrive at the movie theater.
Filia: ::to self:: Oh No! I am running out of time ::walks into dark theater::!
Xelloss: So where do you want to sit?
Filia: ::replaces her hand with an old woman's who I cast as Auntie Aqua:: Bye Xelloss ::to self::.
Xelloss: ^_^
QoU: Mina takes off running back to the park where she left Tigers Eye waiting for her.
Filia: Jack ::huff:: Hi.
Valgaav: Where have you been, Mina? ::hands her drink and bill:: I have been waiting here in the hot sun whilst I could have been summoning DarkStar.
Rezo: Yeah, well I could have been summoning Shabirnigdo to this world too, but I've been stuck in the circus tent all day with my annoying copii.
Phibrizo: That's nothing. If I could just find Lina, we could plunge this world into to chaos ::laughs insanely:: sweet chaos...
Gaav: And I'll stop you!
Phibrizo: Just try it, Gaav. All I have to do is a little snappity snap and poof! You're dust!
Gaav: Don't mess with me, kid. I am a dark lord too, you know.
Phibrizo: A crappy one all the same.
QoU: WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU THREE DOING IN THIS SCENE?! Why did I apply for the Queen of the Universe position? Why didn't I become a telemarketer or something? Please, Valgaav, continue reading from the script, exactly. God's help me.
Valgaav: It's no big deal. Come on, let's go do something, Mina.
QoU: ::head throbbing:: Okay, Mina looks down at her watch and notices that the moviewas almost over and that she needed to hurry back.
Filia: ::to self:: Oh no! I need to get back...Excuse me Jack, I need to use the Ladies Room. I'll be right back.
QoU: Switch to Xelloss in the movie theater, so help me.
Xelloss: ::sigh:: I suppose that I should make my move ::leans in for a kiss:: Auntie Aqua! How have you been?
QoU: YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE TERRIFIED!
Auntie Aqua: Miss. Queen of the Universe, you shouldn't be so highstrung. Just give Xelloss and I some time alone ::clings on to Xelloss' arm
QoU: WHAT?! ::smoke blows from nose, eyes turn red and fire blasts from the ground. Amazon death music starts up:: Get...your...wrinkily...old...hands...OFF MY XELLOSS!!
Auntie Aqua: No way, child, he's mine until the scene is over ::smiles mischieviously:: you can't control me, Miss. Queen of the Universe. ::to self:: How gullible?! And exactly HOW did you become Queen of the Universe?
QoU: Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows. Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer, all the foes who stand, before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands. Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess --
Xelloss: Miss. Queen of the Universe, It was just a joke that Auntie Aqua has played.
QoU: ::glowing red:: DRAGON --
Xelloss: Please! Lord Ruby Eye's spell is much to harsh for a mere prank!
QoU: SL --
Xelloss: ::grabs QoU by waist and disappears outside:: Filia! You came back without a fuss!
QoU: AVE!! ::blows up half of Tokyo::
Filia: What's wrong with her? Oh, how stupid! She had to associate with raw garbage like you.
QoU: AAAAHHHH! DRAGON SLAVE!! ::blasts Filia:: FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!!
Xelloss: I think we could all use a little break, what do you think?
QoU: ::crys in a crumpled heap on the ground:: I...I try to be a good queen, but no. I can't even get a bunch of people, a monster, a couple of dragons, some darks lords and a red priest and his copii to follow a simple script! I don't even know why I try?
Xelloss: Come on now, you're doing a bang up job running the universe. Now then, shall we go get something to eat before Lina eats it all up?
QoU: Okay ::dries tears::. Let's go, Xel-baby!
Xelloss: o_O ::walks over to food table, see's Lina, Gourry and Amelia eating anything short of the table legs::. Um...perhaps you could share?
Lina: ::hiss::
Gourry: ::snarl::
Amelia: ::growl::
Zelgadis: ::sigh::
QoU: ::turns on megaphone:: OKAY! NOW THAT I HAVE REGAINED MY SANITY, LET'S CONTINUE!
All: ::groan::
QoU: Okay, now then, stills of Mina and either of the two guys pop up, whilst she runs back forth between them. Tired and wheezing, she runs into Rini and the girls, Darien optional. Well, we'll just throw 'em in there. Zangulus! You're in this scene! ::waits:: ZANGULUS?! Where is he?
Martina: I bet he's with Lina ::tears well::.
Lina: I'm right here, you moron.
Zangulus: AAAAAHHHH!! Where in the hell is my hat?!
QoU: Darien only wears a hat when he is Tuxedo Mask, and it is a top hat all the same.
Zangulus: But where is MY hat?
QoU: Don't worry. We sold it on E-Bay for a ton of money. You're totally famous, you know?
Zangulus: NNNNNOOOOO!!! ::falls to knees::.
QoU: Okay, let's forget Darien for this scene. Go on, Phibby.
Phibrizo: Alright. Mina, you shouldn't "play" both of their hearts like this.
Lina: Yeah Mina, you should choose Valgaav. Maybe he'll stop the summoning of DarkStar.
QoU: ::twitch::
Amelia: Yes, Miss. Mina, you should tell them.
Filia: You're right. Thanks guys, I'll see you later.
QoU: Alright, switch to a foggy parking lot where Hawks Eye and Tigers Eye face off.
Xelloss: Tigers Eye?
Valgaav: What are you doing here, Hawks Eye?
Xelloss: I am on my date with Mina, of course, although I don't know why you tagged along?
Valgaav: I didn't. The script forced me to come. Can we hurry this up, I want to summon DarkStar.
Xelloss: Nag Nag Nag.
Filia: Jack! Charle! Hi! I guess you both found out.
Valgaav: Mina, who do you choose? You have to pick!
Xelloss: Yes Mina, which of us do you want?
Filia: Definitely not you, Xelloss.
Xelloss: That means I lose the bet, oh darn ::smiles mischievously::.
QoU: YOU CAN'T DECIDE! For all that is humane.
Xelloss: It doesn't matter ::snaps fingers::.
Valgaav: Yes, all we want are your beautiful dreams ::snaps fingers::.
Filia: ::takes a look at Xelloss in a skirt and Valgaav in speedos:: AH HAHAHA!! ::rolls on floor laughing:: You both look so stupid!
QoU: She is actually utterly frightened. Just continue.
Xelloss: One ::board pops up and whacks Filia in the back and she falls to the ground::.
Filia: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! ::moves away from board::
Valgaav: Two ::the clasps close against the air where Filia is suppose to be::.
QoU: Stop! Filia, can you stand against the board? Why doesn't this ever happen to the real Amazon Trio?
Valgaav: Do I say my line again?
Qou: If you please?
Valgaav: Two ::clasps Filia to board::.
Xelloss: Three ::stage hand runs up and sticks Dream Mirror to Filia's shirt Via a Velcro::.
Filia: ::yawns:: Oh no...please don't look at my dreams.
Xelloss and Valgaav: I'll look ::snarls at each other::
Valgaav: I'll go.
Xelloss: I'm afraid you're wrong for I will go.
Valgaav: Me.
Xelloss: ME!
Valgaav: ME!!!
Xelloss: ::disappears in front of mirror:: I'll do it ::sticks head in, despite Valgaav screams of hate:: Oh look! She dreams of marrying a dashing, purple haired monster!
Filia: XELLOSS!! ::tries to free herself, but can't:: I'll kill you later.
Xelloss: No Pegasus?! How unfortunate! Appear Lemures!
Valgaav: You too, my dear Lemures!
QoU: Two creatures come up from the boys shadows. Enter Erulogos and Serius on a seasaw.
Xelloss: Destroy her!
Serius: Yes sir!
Lina: Oh no you don't Xelloss! I mean, evil doer! We will not let you destroy her beautiful dreams! I am Sailor Moon!
Phibrizo: And I am Sailor Chibi Moon!
Lina: And in the name of justice!
Lina and Phibrizo: We shall punish you! ::twitch::.
Sylphiel: And we are the Sailor Scouts, also defending love. Like Gourry-Dear.
Xelloss: Very well, Nice fuku, Phibrizo.
Phibrizo: Nice skirt, Xelloss.
Amelia: Shine Aqua Illusion!
Valgaav: What kind of crappy, thrift store attack is that? A crippled old man could counter that attack!
Xelloss: Go! Attack them, my Lemures!
QoU: ::smiles:: attack them, boys.
Erulogos and Serius: ::runs at girls::
Lina: ::sigh:: Oh no! I am stuck! I shall surely die now! Oh woe is me!
Zangulus: ::throws rose at Xelloss:: Huh? Roses?
Xelloss: Why did you do that? ::rubs forehead::.
Zangulus: This is the only weapon that the Queen gave me. WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THIS?!
All: ::stares blankly at the queen::
QoU: What? I didn't write this script! Tuxedo Mask's roses are supposedly like an unstoppable weapon. Just continue.
Filia: ::pulls on clamps:: I broke free! VENUS STAR POWER! ::starts henshin::.
Xelloss and Valgaav: Pretty light...oooo
Filia: I am Sailor Venus, protector of Love and Beauty!
Xelloss: I thought that was Sailor Moon.
Lina: No, I am the protector of Love and Justice.
Xelloss: Got it!
Filia: Venus Love Chain Encircle! ::smacks Xelloss in the face:: Now Sailor Chibi Moon!
Phibrizo: Please Pegasus, protect peoples dreams! Crystal Twinkle Bell! AAHH!! WHAT A CRAPPY ATTACK!!
Gourry: ::fake white horse appears:: I'm here! Hey Lina, look what I bought on E-Bay ::holds up Zangulus' hat::.
Zangulus: MY HAT, YOU BASTARD! ::jumps up and starts to be the fake horse to a bloody, or should I say cotton bi-product, pulp::
Lina: ::sigh:: Do I have too?
QoU: If you value your life, yes.
Lina: ::through clenched teeth:: MOON GORGEOUS MED-I-TATION!!
Erulogos and Serius: NNNNNOOOOOO!! ::melts, I mean breaks apart::
Xelloss and Valgaav: We're gone! ::jumps through portal::
QoU: Switch to the Dead Moon Circus lounge and for the love of man, hurry.
Xelloss: In any case, we both succeeded, Valgaav, I mean Tiger, so we never have to leave.
Zelgadis: I thought you both would leave.
Xelloss: Oh poor Zelgadis. here is a cute guy for you to chase ::smiles::.
Zelgadis: YOU DIRTY BASTARD! ::starts to beat the crap out of Xelloss::
Filia: AND THIS IS FOR THAT LITTLE DREAM THAT YOU MADE UP! ::proceeds to hit him with mace::.
QoU: And for the final scene. Switch to Zirconia talking to his queen, or in this case, king. ::laughs insanely:: It's almost over.
Gaav: You know I don't like to be kept waiting, Zirconia.
Rezo: I know, my King.
Gaav: Hey moron, the mirror is over here.
Rezo: I'm not a moron, just visually impared.
Copii Rezo: You are a Moron.
Rezo: Then so are you.
Copii Rezo: Are not.
Rezo: Are too.
Copii Rezo: Are not.
QoU: THE END!! ::laughs manically:: THE END!! IT'S OVER!! I'M FREE! AH HAHAHAHA!!!
All: YEAH!!
Neo Queen Serenity: What is this crap?
Queen Nephelinia: I know, who put this together?
QoU: What?
Amazon Trio: We are so much more attractive then that!
Xelloss, Valgaav, Zelgadis: ::twitch::
Sailor Moon: I am so much prettier then that little girl.
Lina: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Neo Queen: What a bad interpretation!
QoU: WHAT?! YOU UNGRATEFUL! AH HAHAHAHA!!! YOU, I KILL!
Lina: Right next to you!
QoU and Lina: DRAGON SLAVE!
Zelgadis: RAW TILT!
Sylphiel: FLARE ARROW!
Amelia: FISTS OF JUSTICE!
Cast of Sailor Moon: AAAAAHHHH!!! OUR CRAPPY ATTACKS CANNOT DO ANYTHING! NOT EVEN TUXEDO MASK'S ROSES CAN PUNCTURE THEIR EVIL! WE'RE DOOMED!!
Hours later...
QoU: Well, they're off to the Tramma Center. Would you like to continue until they get out?
All: o_O
QoU: I thought as much. You all take care and I KNOW I'll see you all again ::swoons over Xelloss as they run as far away as possible, never looking back::
So how didja like it? It really doesn't matter, now does it? Please send any opinions to Ginger8551@aol.com. I should also say that if you want to send flame, send away, but be warned that I, the Queen of the Universe, just loves flames and will be more then happy to mail you back, or post them on the stupidest flame list on our website. And as always, nice things are always welcome, and will be taken with the utmost appreciation! Thanks for reading about a day in the life of I, the Queen of the Universe. Chow!