It's cold.
Everywhere I look, every face I see...no warmth lies behind people's eyes. Perhaps it's just me after all. I laugh to myself. I'm cold inside, so why should I view anyone else warmer than myself, ne?
When did I lose that warmth? When my city burned to the ground, destroying a lore I thought would never see its destruction? When I ran to my house, only to find burning rubble and the charred corpses of my family? When after burying them all with my best and most loyal companion in the whole world, I lost her as well at the blade that I would soon meet? Or was it when I met the blade with my heart, and the last thing I looked upon were a pair of golden, slit-pupil eyes?
Yes, I think that's when it happened. Funny, that happened so long ago, yet I only realised it today. Why does knowing this bother me so? Nothing is supposed to bother me anymore unless it interferes with my assignments. Could knowing be interfering? Hmph, well, the truth does hurt sometimes, doesn't it? That's why I keep the truth hidden, only revealing as much as necessary through context and by playing with words, twisting them into a semblance of another meaning.
Perhaps I've kept a secret from myself.
Oh dear, I've let my guard down. Could've sworn I was alone out here; when did Lina-chan arrive? She seems as surprised to see me as I am to see her. Damn, how did I manage to let down all my walls? She's seeing everything! I've got to slam something up! Ah, the usual grin; that'll do.
"Is something wrong, Xelloss?" She's worried about me, how cute. But so naïve. She doesn't know what she's dealing with in this world, despite everything she's gone through.
"Why ever would anything be wrong, Lina-chan?" Shit. I normally call her Lina-san, not chan. She'll notice that. Damn.
"I normally don't see you off on your own. You're usually either with the group or not around at all. So what's up?"
I chuckle mentally to myself. Ah, Lina-chan, if there was anyone I could tell this to in the entire world, it would be you. You're the only one with a wisp of a chance of understanding, really. But I can't, so I won't. "Sore wa himitsu desu," I reply to her, but without nearly enough of my usual charm and gleefulness.
"...right," she answers back, very sceptically. Her shining ruby eyes narrow at my face now. Sumimasen, Lina-chan, but you won't get another peek behind that mask again tonight. Why do I only say just 'tonight'?
Xelloss, come to me. My mistress calls. For once, I'm quite thrilled to have to leave to give my report. "Ja, Lina-san!" Good, the masks are all back in place now, and that was definitely my usual amount of cheerfulness.
I teleport directly into my mistress's hall, only to be thrown against the back wall by a burst of her power. Shit, she was monitoring me again!
"You let her see."
I bow before her, kissing the back of her proffered hand. At least she's not in beast form, then I'd be in deep trouble. "She caught me off guard, my lady. It was inexcusable, I know."
"That is correct." My gods, her voice is harsh tonight. I can't even remember when the last time I heard her like this was. Has to have been centuries ago! "You will face punishment for this. I cannot allow my highest-ranking servant to get away with everything. You must stand as an example for the others."
"Of course, Juuou-sama." I sound like such a wimp before her, but what else can I do? She has the ability to snap me like a twig so long as I'm under her power, and I will be bound to her for the rest of my existence. I lift my eyes to hers, awaiting what she has promised as I kneel before her.
The wait doesn't last long as power like a thousand tiny bolts of lightning strikes me. This pain hurts; no pleasure wrought. Indeed, a Dark Lord can find ways to make even masochists suffer. The bitch lord simply stands there above me smirking, one hand effortlessly sending the power coursing through both my physical and astral forms while the other holds a glass of Zefilian wine. The pain soon reaches a point not even I can bare; I scream out and her smirk changes to a feral grin. When I was younger, I always wondered where that side of my nature came from. Dammit, I shouldn't be giving her this satisfaction! Ooh, I think I'm starting to lose consciousness. That hasn't happened in over a thousand years. I wince and grit my teeth as the power increases. She's trying to knock me out! Fine, fighting will just make it worse, so I won't. See if she enjoys that! Ha!
My eyes open, yet somehow, I realise that I'm not awake. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm not where my master left me unconscious. Perhaps it's the fact that nothing around me looks familiar. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm in the Sea of Chaos...blink...what the fuck?!?!?!?
Yep, this is the Sea of Chaos, alright. I'm floating around in the pretty blueness, my hair swishing around my face the way it only can in water or when visiting this place. I look down at myself; my clothing is different. Instead of my usual priest's robes, I sport an outfit that I last saw stained with dirt, blood, and grass stains. Loose pants, a black deeper than the night sky and a long-sleeved tunic the colour of the sky on an overcast day. A cloak similar to my usual one rests on my shoulders, flowing out behind me, a dark forest green shade meant to blend into a grove of trees. My gloves are the same pale lavender, and my boots the same normal shade as well, but the clasp upon my cloak is quite different. Much more ornate in design, it bares a black and white yin-yang symbol within an oval of gold metal. The circles within the halves of the symbol are embedded with a sapphire on the black side and a ruby on the white side. I chuckle at the irony of this balance as my gaze wanders over the long-gone clasp.
I see a flash of gold from the edge of my vision and look up. Sure enough, before me now stands the One I'm here to see. A being darker than the deepest pitch, deeper than the deepest night, the Sea of Chaos, the source of all chaos, the Mother of All, the Destroyer of All, dark lord of dark lords, a golden queen who reigns over all. She has countless titles, all given to her by those she created. And she has deigned me worthy to visit in a dream. I sigh. Joy.
Hiding my fear/anger/boredom, I put on my silly little fake grin and cheerfully address her, "Hi L-sama!" (Hey this is my dream, and she's a visitor to the show. She can deal with a little insolence.)
Don't think you are going to fool me with that act, child.
Shit. My mask drops. No use with Her, after all.
And don't use such profane language, even in your thoughts.
"Aw, L-sama, let me have a little privacy!" Great, I'm pouting to the Lord of Nightmares. Next thing you know, I'll be on my knees, despite the fact that there's nowhere to kneel in the nothingness that is the Sea of Chaos.
You're tired of this, ne? My, she's certainly being to the point.
"Tired of what, L-sama?"
You know of what I speak. You need not be told.
I sigh. I turn my opened eyes away, looking off into the endless blue that is L-sama's mind, her power. "You saying you can do something about it?"
She smiles. I can tell her eyes just lit up behind that golden veil of bangs. I am who I am, little wolf. My power is no secret to you. Do you think I would be unable to do something?
Now I get to smile. Actually, I'm going to smirk at Her. I finally get to diss God! "Yup! Remember a certain agreement between Shabranigdo and Ceipheed? As I recall it, my Lord, you said you wouldn't interfere with them directly. So yes, I do believe there are some things you are incapable of. You will, of course, excuse me for being a little sceptical, ne?"
In response to my little taunt, a golden shovel materialises from the nothingness into L-sama's hands. Apparently this was not summoned by will, merely at a subconscious thought, as it surprised Her. I smirk again when a look of surprise crosses Her face in the form of a little 'o' for a mouth. The shovel quickly dissolves away. My, my, knowing the short fuse of the Lord of Nightmares, it really isn't a wonder that She favours Lina-chan...
Her composure finally back in place, She addresses me again. Observe. A scene appears between we two of a mountain range. I recognise it as the Kataart Mountains easily. The picture then zooms in to cave entrance, guarded by two Gold dragons. What you desire lies within that cave.
"Hmm...I suppose you want me to go alone?"
No. Take Lina and the others with you. Do not go alone for any reason. If Zelas decides to have any problems with this, tell her you are doing something directly for Me. Tell her nothing else.
Well, She turned serious fast. I bow to her. "Hai, L-sama." I look up at Her sheepishly. "I think I'm waking up now."
She nods. Go. And take care, Phe.
I grin at Her as I disappear. "Don't I always?"