Well, everyone's gone now. All except for me. I laugh to myself softly. I'll bet I'm the only one other than Zelgadis that knew he'd have brown hair. But that's something to dwell on for another time.
I turn my attention back to the centre of the room, specifically to Reina. L-sama never used to work through her. Hell, she never worked through anyone before Lina-chan to my knowledge. That's obviously not Rei, just her body. And now she's turning towards me. Joy. What to do now?
"Son of Racine, step forward." Shit. Why did She have to call me that? I don't own that name anymore. I don't use that name anymore. I don't deserve that name anymore! I sigh. Guess I've got no choice. I wade into the golden waters. Hmm...like the Sea, but not. Odd feeling.
She looks at me again, her golden eyes piercing my open amethyst ones. "This is what you want, even if you don't know why." She cups my face with her hands, her thumbs resting on my temples. What is that supposed to mean?
The golden light shoots forth around us as it did with the others. What is this, Beat-Up Xelloss Time? Pain courses throughout my entire body, the energy colliding with my physical form. And not just the golden light. It feels like it's carrying something, and then slamming that into me. I waver, catching myself by holding onto Reina's arms. I feel so heavy. I resist the urge to scream as the pain increases. I will not scream. I will not show my pain once this light fades. I will not show that Ryuu that I'm weak. She'll parade it around for eternity if I do. I try to adapt my physical form, reduce it so that I'm more astral than physical, hoping that will alleviate some of the pain. But it won't work, won't respond...what the hell is happening???
The light begins to fade and I start losing consciousness, yet again. I suddenly feel very lonely. I feel for the bonds I have with Juuou-sama and all of her minions, but they're not there. Nani?!? Just before I slump against Reina, out cold, I notice my heart pounding wildly in my chest...what's that doing there...
I awaken to the sounds of city life, wagons and carts rolling by, people chatting in the streets, and waiters falling on the floor in faints. This last nuance of city life has been named the Inverse effect, a situation that normally happens after a certain red-headed sorceress orders a meal. I sit up, my eyes still closed, and look around. Or rather, *try* to look around, as I only find blackness. I open my eyes. Ah, that's better! The room is small and rather plain: white curtained window, white sheeted bed, brown wooden floor, brown wooden furniture. I stand and walk towards the window, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I walk past. I look alright in that quick glance.
I open the window and look outside finding myself on the first floor of an inn in a busy city. Well, at least from the size of the marketplace set up outside, I assume it's busy, and rather large. Why am I only seeing women? Probably because this is the food part of the market, and that's normally a woman's task. I sigh and sit back down on the bed, then try to call Juuou-sama. I still feel funny. Still heavy, still totally alone. I spy a pitcher and basin on the dresser, and decide to make use of it. I peel off my gloves, splash my hands around in the water, then bring some of it up to my face. That feels nice. I smile as I look into the mirror, then blink in shock.
My eyes aren't shards anymore.
No slit pupils, no irregular shape, no sucking in the light. I close the curtains, creating a pall of darkness, then peer into the mirror again. They don't glow.
I open the curtains again, then search around in my cloak and bag for something sharp. A dagger, a needle, anything. Ah! A small knife shows itself in my bag's pocket. I open it so the blade comes out, then roll up my sleeve. I run the sharp edge down the back of my pale arm, leaving slight pain and a small line of beading red.
Blood. I'm bleeding.
Mazoku don't have eyes like this unless they will their form to look so. I never have willed it successfully, and I never have been able to do it even accidentally. Mazoku don't bleed, either. Mazoku don't have blood. I touch my chest, feeling the steady beat underneath the skin and bone. Mazoku don't have hearts. Mazoku don't cry, and I'm on the verge of tears.
I'm free.
Was this my heart's desire?
I gasp as a knock raps against my door. "Xelloss?"
Lina-chan. "Come in," I numbly respond.
She opens the door, a look of relief on her face. She sighs and smiles. "You're finally up. Thank the gods." All I can do is blink at her, confused, as she comes to sit next to me on the bed. Now it's her turn to gasp. "Y-your eyes..."
I look down and nod, my gaze travelling down to the cut on my arm. She notices it as well and picks up my arm at the hand, bringing it up and casting a small healing spell on it. I stare at it for a bit. That should've hurt, not healed. I'm really not Mazoku anymore, am I? I look up at Lina-chan. "Where are we?" Gods, my voice sounds so weak, so pitiful! But that's how I feel right now.
"We're in Femille."
"Femille? But that's days away..."
"You've been out for five days, Xelloss." What?!?!
"FIVE DAYS?!?!" Well, at least that had the intended amount of expression to it.
"Shh...it's alright," she smiles, "You're awake now, ne?"
"But, what happened?" I look down at my arm again. I know what happened. But does she understand what happened to me?
"You went to get your wish, then collapsed. We tried to wake you, all of us did, even the miko, but it didn't work. We just decided to try to make our way back to Seyruun, and cutting through Femille was the fastest way to do so. So here we are... Xel, are you...?"
I nod. "I think so. It's odd...being like this again after over one thousand years. I feel so weak."
"That's just because you haven't eaten anything for the past five days. We just need to get you downstairs and to some food and I'm sure you'll be okay," she smiles. 'Be okay'? How is this okay? What if something happens? What if I can't defend myself anymore? I hope it's just the weakness not allowing me to be able to tell if I can still use magic...
A thought occurs to me. "We're in Femille...so that means I have to go in drag again, ne?"
"Yep!"
Joy.
After a few days of rest and recuperation, I head outside with Lina-chan to a small forest clearing just beyond the city proper. I had understood Reina's/L-sama's 'Teach her' line; they meant for me to teach her the lore. Gods, no wonder I was given back my human form! For a Mazoku to attempt to use nightmare magic would be suicide. The lore of the Lord of Nightmares. Well, I guess I have to explain a couple things to Lina before we start training. But why would She do this to me. Was it really my innermost desire to be human again?
"You sure you can do stuff in that thing?" she asks.
"Kore?" I look down at myself. The hi-heeled red boots, emerald green tights, red skirt and puffy green blouse make me look like I'm ready for a winter solstice celebration. Ah well, at least I'm colour-co-ordinated. I have to give Lina-chan that much. "Sure I can, Lina-san!" I reply in a falsetto. Being in drag was much more fun when I could simulate a female form. I drop the voice at her frown of displeasure. Ah well. Plenty of time for that in the city. "Not that we'll be doing anything today."
"Wha? You said you'd help me with this book!" Aw, she's so cute when she's angry. I'd better watch those fists, though. She's already knocked me out twice.
"And I will. But there are some things you need to know first."
"Like what?"
"You do know where the power for these spells comes from, ne?"
"Yeah. The Lord of Nightmares. So what? So does the Laguna Blade and the Giga Slave."
"Well, yes, and those are higher level than most of these, but that doesn't make them any more or any less dangerous." I sit down on a fallen tree, motioning for Lina to do the same. "Nightmare magic has its risks at every level. And worse than other types of magic have. Miscasting the weakest spell of the lore can result in amputation, the strongest, the end of all four universes." I open my eyes and look into hers. Yep, that scared her a bit.
"But I thought that it would only destroy the world, not all four worlds!"
"That's true. Miscasting Giga Slave will return the world of its casting to the nothingness of chaos, but that is not the strongest spell. There are two others stronger than it. And no, you will not learn them unless L-sama Herself tells me to teach them to you. You won't find them in that book, either."
"How do you know all this stuff about it, Xelloss?" How *did* I know she would ask that? I sigh. Guess I've got to tell her a little bit.
"You already know I was human before, ne? Well, you're not the only one who's used Her power." Please let that satisfy her...
"Oh. I guess that makes sense," she replies, staring at a blade of grass. "So, when are you going to start teaching me, then?"
"Sore wa himitsu desu!" I grin at her, closing my eyes once more.
Wow, been a long time since I've seen her aura that red...
"Himitsu my ass! FIREBALL!"
I throw up a shield to block her spell, then grab hold of her arm and teleport us to a nice little desert oasis. "Yare, yare, Lina-san, you need to relax a little. Actually, I thought I'd give you a demonstration today. So you can just sit back under the trees and watch, alright?"
She blinks, "Oh. Okay," then complies, watching as I give my preview. It feels so good to use this magic again, feel it flowing through me as I cast. Pity I have to do it in this getup.