How long has it been since I cried?
Since I let my pain show instead of bottling it up inside?
I always slap on that cheerful grin while my emotions shatter.
Stupid, stupid, stupid ...
I have friends now. Good friends. People who would support me when I need it. Shoulders to cry on and to let them cry on mine.
I've never shown them that I can be compassionate like that. They probably don't think I'm capable of it. They're wrong, of course, but I'll let them think in that way until it's necessary for me to be the strong one for another, and not just myself.
Maybe that time has come now. I could comfort him. He's the one who truly needs it, even more than I do, despite all the things that have happened in my life. He takes it worse. I hide behind a mask of happiness, but he hides behind a mask of indifference and coldness. That isn't right, you know.
I could take him into my arms if he'd allow it. I would hug him and rub his back, whatever I could possibly do to show him he's not alone. That others care for him. That he can rely on. I would show him he can rely on me.
I'd kiss him gently. I wonder when the last time was that he was kissed. Probably a long time ago. It's been a long time for me, too, but not for the same reasons. Or perhaps they are the same reasons. I imagine some people would be afraid to touch him, but the same could be said about me.
It's nice to be alone sometimes like this. Just sitting outside among nature without interruption. The perfect time to let the mask and walls fall away and get back in touch with who hides behind the barricaded soul. Unfortunately, this time never lasts long enough.
"C'mon, we're leaving!"
See?
"Coming!"
Any clue as to who was thinking this stuff? The person the character talks about is meant to be one person in particular (you're smart; I let you figure it out for yourself! ^_^), but the narrator could be pretty much anyone in the gang. Well, with one or two exceptions. I actually started out with one person in mind as the narrator, but then ended it with another, so I'm really not sure anymore who this was meant to be. Bai-bai!