Hmmm... we appear to have a small problem here. THE GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.) IS ON THE LOOSE BEING CONTROLLLED BY AN EVIL DEMONIC FURBY! AND IT, AND IT, AND IT, AND IT.... (Relm smacks Carbunkle over the head and he falls flat and unconscious.)
Relm sighs. Anyway, yeah so basically we're all in trouble because of the ever so evil one named (dramatic suspenseful thunderclap).... Carbunkle. (Waits for Carbunkle's reaction. Gets none and looks down at the green thing. Pokes him a few times but gets no reaction.) Okay I think I somewhat killed Carbunkle, so let us continue the story...
The GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.) chuckles and then starts running around smacking people unconscious. (Relm: Couldn't it achieve that same effect by just looking at people in the face?
Carbunkle: I wonder how heavy that rock is...
Relm: Great to know that our other writer of this fanfic has returned only to ignore the fanfic and continue to be distracted by Survivor.
Carbunkle: Oh sorry, let me check the owner's manual.
Relm: There's an instruction manual to the GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.)?
Carbunkle: I bought it at a garage sale.
Relm: Oi.
Carbunkle: Okay let's see... possession... possession... nope nothing on possession I guess it just has more fun physically smashing them.)
Relm dodging the GIGASNGOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.) jumps over to where Carbunkle had been laying on the floor unconscious. She looks down and sees tire tracks over top of Carbunkle's carcass. The GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.) had run over him with it's tires that it had for feet. Yes this thing is almost like a robot. But how it was running is another matter.
Carbunkle pops up behind Relm. "Hmm... you're right, it should eventually just run out of batteries and die! We'll just wait it out."
"You know as a rule you're not supposed to comment on stuff said not in dialogue as if it was said in dialogue."
"Oh... sorry."
"Anyway... so what are we going to do about lil' G for now?"
"Lil' G? You've given it a nick name?!"
"Well I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who is getting annoyed with the constant '(Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.)' which pops up every time after we type up the GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.). See? It's damned annoying!!! And if I can remember correctly, wasn't it you that came up with that stupid legend gag?!" Relm glares evilly Carbunkle.
Before Carbunkle could answer 'lil G' ran him over again.
Relm sighs and picks him and throws him off to the side. "You're better off over off to the side where you can't get ran over. Even though most people can dodge huge things like that..." She shakes her head at him and turns to face lil G. Or rather to face him from behind. And then notices a very interesting thing. There was an off switch on the back of lil G's neck. Ah-ha! So there is a way to stop this thing! Damn Carbunkle didn't even tell it had an off switch... Grrr.... Relm proceeds to turn the GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.) and accidentally hits the turbo switch.
(Relm: This is what happens when Carbunkle starts to type when I'm talking on the phone. Note that I wouldn't be that klutzy.)
Carbunkle has a shocking realization. (Carbunkle: Hey he double as an expresso machine too! That's why he's such a knock out!
Relm: Why am I stuck having to work with wackos like him?!)
Relm turns around to see the evil gnome behind her. She pulls up Carbunkle and uses him as a human shield (although Carbunkle is not technically a human) but Carbunkle is saved by Lina, Naga, Zel, Amelia, and Gourry. "Relm take Carbunkle and run!" Lina screams at her. Relm hesitantly grabs Carbunkle and runs out of the house into the rain. She drops Carbunkle flat on the ground right in a puddle and turns back to the house. "I hope they are all right."
Just as Relm thinks that Gourry is thrown out the third floor window. The evil gnome stares at her with red glowing eyes. Suddenly the evil gnome is jumped from behind by Lina and Amelia.
"Peru am yyyo" Lina and Amelia are then stabbed by two swords that appear in the air. Both of them fall flying out the window and smash to the ground. The GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.) leaves the window for a moment.
"Where did he go?" Relm comments still looking up.
The door to the Mansion flies open and the GIGASGNOME (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.) slowly moves out dragging Zel and Naga's lifeless bodies behind him.
(Relm: This is getting kinda dark and graphic ain't it?
Carbunkle: I've been watching mass murder from Goldeneye the video game! What do you expect?!)
Relm comes face to face with the oversized garden decoration. But oddly enough Relm is not phased by it's normally unconscious inducing glare.
(Relm: I'm going to die now, aren't I?)
Suddenly from behind Relm is stabbed by Story.
(Relm: Story?! Why would he want to kill me for?! He'd more likely want to kill you instead!!!
Carbunkle: Oh we're getting to that...)
She drops down dead chocking on her own blood as it sputters out from her mouth in a red spray.
(Carbunkle: Ewwww....)
Carbunkle awakes from his unconsciousness to see the horrific sight of his friends all dead laying out on the ground all dead. "WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! NOOOOOO!!!!!"
The evil gnome smiles right before Story who had been controlling the furby all along, cleans off his knife of Relm's blood and grabs the groggy Carbunkle by the ears.
"You see Carbunkle, with all of you out of the way, this site will be mine!" Story finishes off the sentence stabbing Carbunkle right in the stomach.
"Guhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeelllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!! You.... Wont..."
"Get away with this? My, my Carbunkle is seems that I already have. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
(Relm: And when did Story turn into a mad crazy want-to-take-over-the-world-character-much-like-rezo-type-character?
Carbunkle: Beats me. You're supposed to be dead remember?
Relm: Oh yeah! (Relm starts poking Carbunkle) Take that! (And then Relm falls dead again.)
Carbunkle: -_-)
"You see Carbunkle I've been watching this place for some time. And I've come to realize what an important crossroads this is. Many people visit here."
(Relm: Not really....)
"Shut up! Anyway as I was saying I used my dark powers of deception to trick you all to believe that I was an incompetent fool!"
(Relm: But you are. (Drops dead again) Man this is really starting to remind me of Excel Saga....)
"I was the one who placed the demonic furby here knowing very well that you wouldn't be able to resist playing with it despite the curse. So because of your stupidity you have doomed them all!!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
Carbunkle gives one last evil glare before dropping dead.
Tis a sad day in the land of Relm's Slayers Beyond Insanity....
The End
(Amelia: No you can't end it there! That's a big injustice! You cannot leave us main and important characters dead like this and the bad guy winning! The good guys should always triumph over evil!
Carbunkle: Well how do you suggest we resurrect ourselves?!
Relm: Oh Iz-san!
The Great Grand Universe: Yes?
Relm: Could you please revive ourselves so that we can kick Story's ass?
The Great Grand Universe: Alright.)
Suddenly everyone is revived and they all circle Story and the GIGASGMONE (Rumored to be legend, housed in the garden of the gods. It's said to even glance upon it causes one to fall flat and unconscious.). With a huff of cartoon battle smoke both Story and the evil gnome are crushed under the gang's feet and they are toting victory signs.
The Real End.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!