It was early evening when the Slayers gang finally reached the town of Leider. Everyone was feeling a little grouchy after the long walk, except for two people, Xellos and Zelgadis.
Xellos was happy because he hadn't had to walk, and he was rather enjoying the negative emotions of his companions. Zelgadis seemed rather excited, except no one seemed to notice except Xellos, since they were all preoccupied with the buisness of finding an Inn and a meal.
Xellos' eyes narrowed slightly as he watched the chimera. What could the little angster be so happy about? His eyes flicked to Lina and back to Zel. It didn't seem to pertain to Lina, he knew she was terrible at keeping secrets that recquired her to act nonchalant. And Amelia would already have blurted out whatever it was, so it probably didn't involve her either.
Could it be a lead on his cure? Xellos decided to keep an eye on Zel to find out exactly what he was planning. Zel seemed to get even more excited as time passed. Suddenly he noticed Zelgadis slipping away from the party. He smiled as he began to silently follow Zel.
Zel was walking at a brisk pace, and every now and then he threw a glance over his shoulder to see if he was being followed. However, Xellos was a Mazoku, and so had no trouble keping up wth Zel or remaining unobserved. He followed Zel as he ducked and weaved through the twisting cobble streets of the town. Finally Zel came to a shop and entered.
Xellos couldn't believe his eyes. A lingeree shop?! He phased within invisibly, stumped as to why Zelgadis would be here of all places. He watched as Zel surreptitiously bought several pairs of silk bras and panties in a variety of colors.
He barely noticed Zel leaving as he tried to figure out this puzzle. He knew those weren't for Lina, Amelia, or Sylphiel, since they would have bought them themselves, and besides, they weren't the right size. Over a thousand years of life had made him very good at estimating sizes, and they weren't the right size. He knew Filia was raising baby Val somewhere, and so they weren't for her either.
He resolved to spy on Zel to find out just what he might be up to, and telported to the inn they had been heading to. He phased through Zel's locked door easily, but the smile fled from his lips as his jaw dropped in sheer surprise. There was Zel, dressed in a pair of sheer black panties and matching bra while sipping mint julips.
"Yare, yare, Zelgadis-san, what an interesting hobby you have." Xellos' smile widened as he saw Zel go pale. Then Zel facetwitched as he began to turn red. Xellos felt the waves of anger radiating from Zel and decided that it was time to go. "Well now, don't let me keep you, Zel." said Xellos with a smirk as he darted through the door.
Zelgadis was furious, but still remained enough presence of mind to put on normal clothes before storming out of his room to find Xellos. He didn't have far to look, as Xellos was sitting at a table, sipping warm milk while listening to Amelia try to explain to him why he should convert to the way of "justice".
Zel charged forward, sword drawn. He slashed downward at Xellos' head, but the mazuko priest dodged aside at the last moment, causing Zel to split the table in half. Amelia squawked noisily, both due to the sudden display of violence and the fact the one of the table halves catapulted her backwards to slam against the wall.
Xellos chuckled evilly, and said "Why, Zelgadis, I had no idea you had such... delicate sensibilities. Of course, I really should have expected it from someone with a hobby like yours." Zel's only reply was a flare arrow which missed the nimble priest and set the innkeeper alight.
Xellos continued to dodge while Zel continued to attack beserkly, oblivious to the shouts of the innkeeper or his friends. Finally, Lina had had enough, and she stopped the fight with a well placed table leg to Zel's head. Xellos chuckled as Zel rubbed his head confusedly, until Lina kicked him in the nuts.
His face went pale as he fell to the floor in a heap, clutching himself in pain. Mazoku may like pain, but not that pain. Lina, having viewed her handiwork with approval, turned to Zel with a frown. "Ok Zel, mind telling me what you were so upset about?"
Zel thought about Lina's reaction to the whole story might be. He blushed and began to twiddle his fingers while trying to think of a way to satisfy Lina's curiosity without letting her know about his "hobby".
"Uh, he started it!" Zel blurted lamely. Xellos managed to prop himself up on his elbow long enough to offer a rebuttal. "Hey! I was minding my own buisness when he attacked me!" cried Xellos weakly.
"Whatever. Now I have to calm down the innkeeper AND pay for the stuff you two broke. Next time, why not take it outside!" Lina stomped off, leaving Zel sprawled on the floor and Xellos lying in pain in the corner. Xellos crawled up to Zel, and said in a weak voice, "You do realize that this is all your fault, don't you fem-boy?"
Zelgadis snarled and bashed Xellos' head into the floor. Then he stalked off to his room, angrily ignoring Amelia's questions and the stares of the other patrons of the inn.
Amelia had the prescence of mind to help the still weak Xellos to a quiet corner. However, his mind was not really on the kind deed, though he thanked her for it. His mind was focused on how to get back at the one who had caused him to be humiliated in public.
He decided that since he was humiliated in front of his companions, Zel would suffer the same. He also decided that the inn coukd use a coat of green paint with purple polkadots, but that's neither here nor there. He proceeded to phase through the ceiling.
Xellos peeked through Zel's door. Zel appeared to be busy sorting his 'collection'. Perfect. All he had to do was lead Lina here and into Zel's room. He smiled nastily as he placed a small rock into the deadbolt on Zel's door, thereby disabling it. (Yare, yare, Zelgadis-san, you really should have made sure your door was locked.)
Xellos then tiptoed to the baths, where he knew that Lina would be having a good soak after getting as aggravated as she had about their fight and then dealing with the innkeeper. (Fat little wretch. I must remember to leave him a 'gift' after Lina leaves.) Regaining his train of thought, he stuck his head through the wall of the bath and smiled as he waved at Lina. "HI Lina! I know how much you hate to be interrupted, but Zel wanted to discuss something with you."
Lina screamed as she threw the bath bucket at him, bouncing it off his head. This time, however, he was expecting an attack. And so it bounced off, doing little damage to him though it did manage to knock him back through the wall. Xellos rubbed his nose as Lina charged out of the baths dressed in a bathrobe and wielding a sense of righteous indignation.
"Xellos, you perv! Am I really sopposed to believe that Zel would ask YOU to give me a message? Come on, think up a better excuse to peep on me!" Lina stood there with arms crossed, as if daring him to reply.
"Er, well..." began Xellos, almost looking uncomfortable, "He didn't actually ask me to tell you."
"AHA! So you admit you were lying!"
"Actually, there is something he wants to share with you, you ought to talk to him."
"Is this another one of your weird games Xellos?" asked Lina suspiciously.
"I assure you Lina, I'm not playing any sort of game here." Said Xellos, managing to look angelic as he uttered the words. "You need to talk to Zelgadis, he feels as if he has a secret that you won't understand."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I have orders to keep you all together for the time being, and this is the easiest way to do it."
"Right. Ok, I'll go talk to Zel." Lina began to walk off, then whirled and said, "And I'm not doing this for you!"
Xellos giggled as he telported downstairs. He'd done his really evil deed of the day, now he decided to go pester Sylphiel. Lina walked up to Zel room and opened the door, since it wasn't locked. "Hey Zel, could I talk to you for a minute..." Her voice died as she saw Zel sitting on his bed, holding a large pile of panties. His eyes got really big as he watched her stand there holding the doorknob, jaw wagging soundlessly.
After several minutes of wordless silence, Lina shut the door and began advancing on Zel, an odd gleam in her eye. Zel began to backpeddle violently as she walked towards him. However, the blow he feared never came. Instead, Lina grabbed him and tossed him back onto his bed, then leapt on top of him. Then she began to most definitely NOT kiss him. Nor did she pull off his shirt. And there were most definitely not goings-on that involved rope, a whip, and a gallon of lime jello. Well, maybe the jello.
After about an hour with no peeps from either of them, Xellos decided to investigate. Once again peering into Zel's room, what he saw there made his eyebrow rise. He hadn't expected quite so much creativity from Lina. Why, they were so naughty, the were almost making HIM blush.
Xellos quickly snapped a couple of pictures, 'for later', and then whipped out a big clipboard. On the piece of paper marked, 'To Do', he put a big check in the column labeled 'Lina and Zelgadis'. Then he examined the next three columns, respectively labeled 'Sylphiel and Gourry', 'Seduce Amelia', and 'Clean Juu-oh sama's room'. "Ohhh, you're so mean Juu-oh sama. Always more work to do." he whined as he began to look for Sylphiel again. Still, he thought to himself, You've got to love those dirty little secrets.
As for Lina and Zel, well, they were too busy to notice. However, they did find out the very next month exactly why contraceptives are a good idea, but that's another story.