It's not him. I don't like him at all. He's annoying, manipulative and deliberately deceptive. There is absolutely nothing about HIM that is attractive in the slightest.
His body though, that's another matter. It can't really be considered part of him given that he had a choice in his appearance. That cute little smile on a cherub's face is just one more form of manipulation. People are so eager to trust the good-looking and even I must admit that he fits that description. Too damn well actually.
I'm not immune to that, though I wish I were. The psychotic sorcerer was not that kind. If anything, I am more aware of sexual attraction than I was before he changed me. I can ignore it for the most part, but not with him. All my reasons, all my excuses do not apply to him because he is a mazoku. He is a monster.
Like me. Only he does not have the burden of a human conscience.
So I am attracted to his form while being repelled by HIM. It's a difficult and tenuous state of affairs. I have no idea how long I will be able to keep the balance. I'm afraid the attraction is winning. Denial is a difficult thing and I have had far too much of it in my life. This, this I could have if I wanted it.
That makes the entire idea even more attractive. So would his surprise. I have to admit, I'm curious about his reaction. Will it be positive or negative?
Will I care?
I should, I know I should. But there's so many things for which I simply don't. Eliminating obstacles that stand between my objective and myself for example.
I don't think I'll care.
I am surprisingly undisturbed by that fact.
Perhaps I should just place myself in the hands of fate. Should the opportunity arise then I will take advantage of it. If not, then I will continue to watch him and fight this attraction.
That's the best plan.
Now I suppose I just need to define the word opportunity, don't I? Preferably in the loosest terms available.
This is ridiculous, I think I'll just forget about fate after all. Why bother placing the responsibility in another's lap? I'll just take action on my own, thank you very much.
I'll just take him and to hell with the rest of it.
I do not wa wa wa want you
I do not ne ne ne need you
I just like the way you walk
The way you move
The way you talk oh ya
And I can't let go
- Infatuation, Prozzäk