Xellos appeared at the campsite by the creek, screams still ringing in his ears and a smile on his face. He was feeling much better now, actually his spirits were quite high, at least they were until he found where Zelgadiss had chosen to sleep.
The chimera was curled up in the fetal position, tears streaming silently down his stone cheeks, Xellos had never seen his look so wretched.
"It's awful, isn't it?" Fiorie said, appearing beside him, causing Xellos to scowl darkly. "So much pain, and us unable to feed on it. But wait. You don't want to, do you? You love this pathetic creature. Shit," he looked away, "I never saw what Zellas-sama saw in you. You're still the same waste of existence you were when your parents finally got rid of you."
"You won't kill this one," Xellos replied, ignoring the other comments they way he had for centuries. "You won't be able to."
"And who's going to stop me? You? Don't make me laugh. You have neither the strength, nor the ability, even without Zellas-sama's orders."
Xellos didn't answer, just watched Fiorie with cold eyes, not sure what the other mazoku was up to, and not in a mood to conceal his hatred.
"I'll kill him, just like the others, but you seem to care a lot about this one. I think I'll play with him a little bit first." He cast the spell before Xellos even realized he had one prepared, and vanished laughing, leaving him alone in the clearing.
He stood there in shock for a few moments, how could he not have predicted this? It was so obvious, he would have done exactly the same thing. Head down, he walked over to where Zelgadiss lay and lifted the chimera gently, holding him tightly. Zelgadiss didn't wake, he couldn't, Fiorie's spell had seen to that. The chimera was trapped in his nightmare.
He had to help him, he couldn't loose him now, he was so close! Lifting his staff, he created a barrier around them, it wouldn't stop Fiorie from coming, but it would bring Xellos back to the real world as soon as the other mazoku appeared. It wasn't great as protection went, but it was the best he could do at the moment. Kissing Zelgadiss lightly on the forehead, he sent his mind towards the chimera's and allowed himself to enter the dream.
It was not the setting he would have expected from Zelgadiss' reactions. He was in a small, relatively cozy looking bedroom. There were books and toys everywhere, it was not very tidy, despite obvious attempts to bring some sort of order to the chaos. The room appeared as if it belonged to a child, walking over to the bed he was able to confirm that suspicion. He smiled as he stared down at the young boy in the bed, though the child's skin was smooth and pale and his hair was soft and light brown, it was clearly Zelgadiss lying there, his breathing soft and light.
"Ah, Zel-chan, you're so cute." Xellos said laughing, then looked up as he heard a door open and close somewhere down the hallway. When he looked back to the bed, he saw that Zelgadiss had woken up. The young boy stared into the darkness with wide, fear-filled eyes, which he squeezed shut as the door to his own room opened.
Xellos turned to look at the doorway, a low sense of dread steeling over him as he beheld the large man standing there, silhouetted by the light from hallway behind him. He was huge, probably a warrior, and he was entering the room like he owned it, letting the door shut softly behind him.
"No use pretendin' to be asleep boy," a low, gruff, voice said in an arrogantly amused tone, "Ya know that isn't gonna work."
"Please don't." Zelgadiss said from the bed, his voice sounding very small and weak, even for a child's. "Please don't do this anymore."
"Beggin' again?" the man said as he reached the be and pulled the covers away from the boy. "Ya know beggin' does no good. Ya want me to stop?" He ripped the pajamas Zelgadiss was wearing, leaving the boy bare. "Then get strong enough to make me." He let the dressing gown he was wearing fall to the floor and grabbed Zelgadiss.
"Let go of him," Xellos growled, running forward, reaching out to fry the man, only to have his hand and the spell he was casting pass right through him. He stared at it with horrific realization, backing away from the two on the bed. This was not just a dream, this was a memory. He couldn't affect it, he couldn't stop it, he could only watch.
Zelgadiss yelped as the man began to fondle him roughly.
"Besides, ya should be thanking me," The man said, rolling Zelgadiss onto his belly and holding the boy down on the bed. "I've seen ya, ya god-damn pansy boy." Zelgadiss began to tremble as the man lay down on top of him, hand sliding over this small buttocks. "I'm just getting you ready, that's all." He forced on of his fingers into Zelgadiss' anus, ignoring the tears streaming down the child's face.
"No," Xellos whispered, sinking to his knees as the man removed his hand, forcing the child to his knees, "No!" Xellos' scream mingled with Zelgadiss' as the man drove roughly into him, echoing off the walls of the small room before fading into the small tearful sobs that were the only sounds Zelgadiss was now making.
"Stop," he whimpered, but the man just chuckled darkly.
"Hurts does it?" he grunted, "Get used to it yaoi fucker. This is all you have to look forward to."
"No, that's not true." Xellos whispered, knowing that it didn't matter.
"This is what you'll get from every man ya let near ya." He drove harder, increasing his pace, "Ya should be thankin' me fer teachin' ya."
Xellos looked away, he couldn't take it anymore. He could feel tears sliding down his cheeks, but he couldn't stop them anymore than he could stop the sounds of Zelgadiss' suffering from reaching his ears.
Even with all he had done, Fiorie had never been this cruel. To know that Zelgadiss had lived through it and... No wonder the chimera ran from him!
He kept his head down as the man yelled with satisfaction, and then as he got off the bed, picked up his dressing gown, and put it on before finally leaving the room. It was only after the door closed that he finally looked up at Zelgadiss again, finding the boy trembling as he lay bleeding on the sheets.
"Zel-chan," Xellos whispered, "I didn't know, I'm sorry." There was no response, he hadn't expected one. After a few seconds, Zelgadiss slowly curled up, arms wrapped around his legs, crying. It was exactly the way Xellos had found the adult Zelgadiss earlier. He hung his head again, he should have known! The pieces were there how could a not have put them together?
Neither of the two moved as the small room filled with the near-silent sounds of their tears.
Zelgadiss pulled away from his childhood self as soon as he was able. For some reason he couldn't wake himself up, but at least he was allowed these momentary respites. He looked over to where Xellos lay crumpled on the floor and hung his head, he hadn't wanted the mazoku to know about this. He walked over and knelt beside his weeping companion. "Xellos?"
"Zel-chan?" Xellos looked up at him, reached out for a second, and then let his hand drop uncertainly. "You should have said something."
"I didn't want to remember. I didn't want anyone to know."
"How long?"
"Almost all my life. Not every night, but about two or three times a week." He looked down at the ground. "I should have been able to stop him."
"This isn't your fault Zel-chan," Xellos said, and Zelgadiss looked back up at him to find that the mazoku's eyes were very serious. "Look at you, you're a child," They both turned to look at the boy who was still crying on the bed. "Someone should have been protecting you, you shouldn't have to be protecting yourself."
"There was no one else to protect me." Zelgadiss said sadly, mulling over the memories he had buried for so long. "As bad as he treated me, he treated my mother worse, he beat her into a coma eventually. She never woke up from it, she just died one night. I envied her." He saw Xellos reach out again and leaned closer so that the mazoku's hand landed on his shoulder. He closed his eyes at the contact, it was strange, wanting the contact so much, and wanting it gone just as badly.
"What happened after that?" Xellos asked softly.
"It got worse," he answered, "I hadn't thought that was possibly. Then, after a while, Rezo showed up and I left with him. I thought he could give me the strength I needed."
"And he changed you instead."
"It scared me so much, I," he hung his head again, "I went back." His voice trailed off as he remember stumbling into the yard of his former house, and the man's expression when he beheld what his son had become. "He tried to kill me, told me I was a freak, and that such abominations shouldn't exist. He called ME the abomination, ch! He couldn't do it though." Zelgadiss held up his hands, staring at his stony skin, "He was a warrior, not a magic user, no matter what he did, his sword wouldn't cut me, but mine could cut him."
"Zel-chan?"
"I killed him. Slaughtered him, and I enjoyed it. I could feel everything he had ever done to me in those few minutes, and I just kept driving my sword down towards his body. I was finally strong enough to stop him." He looked up at the ceiling, memories of blood masking his vision. "I felt nothing but joy, until the neighbors came. I've never seen anyone more horrified than they were at that moment. When I looked down at his body, I could see why. There was hardly anything left that could be recognized as human, not that I think he qualified in the first place. There was blood everywhere, I was coated in it. I dropped my sword and ran away."
"You went back to Rezo."
"I had nowhere else to go, and I didn't fully understand what he'd done to me. I decided to forget about my life before Rezo cursed me, and focus on a way to change myself back, and then to get revenge. It worked eventually, I had forgotten."
"Until I showed up."
Zelgadiss didn't want to answer that, and Xellos didn't seem inclined to continue either. A sound from the bed made them both look up. The young Zelgadiss slowly covered himself with the blankets and starred at the darkened ceiling.
"I will get stronger," he said fiercely, "I will." Following that declaration, he closed his eyes and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
"Xellos," Zelgadiss said softly, "Why can't I wake up? Why are you here?"
"Fiorie," the mazoku replied, his eyes serious. "He's trapped you in your nightmare, I should have expected it, I'm sorry."
"How do I break the spell?"
Xellos looked at the ground, "You have to defeat the nightmare."
"What?" Zelgadiss felt his insides freeze, "I have to what?"
"The only way to free yourself from the spell is to free yourself from the dream it's anchored to. You have to defeat him."
"But I can't, just before he comes, I'm trapped as a child again."
"It's only a memory Zel-chan, he's dead. What you are facing here is not him, it's your fear of him. The only power he has now is the power you give him. You can defeat this, even if you are a child."
The scene around them flickered, toys and clothes changed places on the floor, the child in the bed no longer wept, and his pajamas were no longer torn.
"A different night." Zelgadiss whispered, and felt Xellos squeeze his shoulder, just before he was pulled into his child self. He sat up, hearing the sound of his parent's doorway closing and looked towards where Xellos knelt on the floor. The mazoku looked as if he was going to say something, then suddenly frowned and vanished. It was all right, he preferred to do this on his own, in case he failed. He didn't want Xellos to see that again.
"Wide awake and waitin' tonight boy?" the man said as he entered, "Glad to see you've accepted your fate."
Zelgadiss could feel himself begin to tremble, he took a deep breath and faced the vision that haunted him all his life. "I won't let you do this to me anymore." The words were shaky, but at least he'd said them. The man in the doorway stopped, shit, he still looked so big!
"What was that boy?"
"I won't let you haunt me anymore. You're dead, stay that way."
"You gonna make me, ya god damn pansy?"
The trembling stopped. Zelgadiss looked at the man, suddenly feeling strangely calm. "Everything you ever told me was a lie." he said, "You were more of a monster than I ever could be. I won't let you ruin the rest of my life."
The man in the doorway said nothing.
Zelgadiss smiled, and looked down at himself, he was an adult again. He got off of the bed and faced the figure in the doorway, standing like this, he was as tall as the man was. "You are nothing now. Leave me alone."
There was no reaction for a long moment, and then, the figure faded, leaving the doorway empty and full of light. Feeling much better than he had before, Zelgadiss walked through the doorway, and found himself lying on the grass beside the creek. A noise from behind him drew his attention, and he suddenly remember that he wasn't the only one who's past had returned to haunt him.
Xellos winced as Fiorie's spell hit the shield he had raised, this was getting serious. He was sincerely beginning to doubt Fiorie's intentions to follow Zellas-sama's orders not to kill him. If the other mazoku had gone crazy, Xellos would be hard pressed to follow those orders himself, this was definitely not good.
"Xellos, move." the words rang in his head, and he followed the instructions when he realized that they came from Zelgadiss. He appeared beside the chimera, just in time to hear him complete the spell,
Rah Tilt!
The blue light shot towards where Fiorie stood, unprepared for that kind of attack. It hit him in a brilliant explosion, and when the smoke cleared, Fiorie, along with a significant portion of the forest around him, was gone.
"Hmph," Zelgadiss said, looking quite pleased with himself, "That was pretty foolish of him. Just because you aren't allowed to kill him, doesn't mean other people can't do it."
Xellos looked at him with surprise. He looked okay, he was free from the nightmare, he had killed Fiorie, Xellos was suddenly ecstatic. "My hero!" he cried, throwing his arms around Zelgadiss, ignoring it when the chimera flinched. "And you defeated him with such excessive destruction, Lina-san would be so pleased."
"It's not that bad." Zelgadiss muttered, looking at the extensive clearing that was now around them.
"Come now, don't be so modest, you couldn't have cleared more area with a Dragon Slave if you tried."
"Let's go," Zelgadiss growled, pulling away from him, "I don't want to stay here tonight."
"No problem Zel-chan," he replied cheerfully, following the silent chimera as they made their way towards the woods, walking until they were surrounded by trees again. Zelgadiss appeared lost in thought and Xellos figured that it was best not to disturb him, he had been through a lot. That thought made him frown. What if he couldn't get past it? Xellos shrugged, there was nothing he could do about it now, he would just have to wait and see.
They made camp at the first clearing they came to, still in silence. In fact, it wasn't until Zelgadiss was finished eating that either of them said anything.
"You won't get in trouble will you?" Zelgadiss asked, "For Fiorie's death I mean?"
"I don't believe so." Xellos replied, "But I will have to wait and see for that as well."
"What?" they both said at the same time, and Xellos began laughing,
"Nothing, my predictable Zelgadiss-san."
"Not 'Zel-chan' anymore?"
Xellos looked at him uncertainly, okay, maybe was wasn't so predictable after all. He was smiling slightly though, surely that was a good sign. "I can keep calling you that if you want me to."
"I think I do," he replied softly, a blush starting to cover his cheeks. That was most definitely a good sign.
"Is there anything else you would like me to do Zel-chan?" he asked in a low voice. Great, he was already hitting on him again. That pretty much proved that he was shameless.
"Yeah, a few things," Zelgadiss answered him, blush getting deeper, "But they all involve you being on this side of the fire."
That was more than a sign, that was an invitation. Xellos, smiled, set down his staff and walked over to sit in front of the chimera. "Now, what can I do for you Zel-chan?"
"Open your eyes."
Xellos tilted his head quizzically, this was not what he had expected, but he complied. Zelgadiss looked at him for a long time before nodding slightly to himself.
"I think I believe you." he said softly. Xellos smiled as the meaning of the words sank in, Zelgadiss smiled back. "Will you kiss me?" the chimera asked shyly.
Xellos nodded, running a hand gently down the side of Zelgadiss' face, surprised to see that they were both trembling. He leaned forward slowly, capturing the chimera's mouth as he had wanted to do for so long. Zelgadiss opened his mouth when Xellos began coaxing him to, letting the kiss get deeper. Xellos forced himself not to push farther than the chimera wanted to go, he didn't want to frighten Zelgadiss, he didn't want to ruin this.
"That was better than in the dream," Zelgadiss murmured when they pulled apart.
"So you did dream of me THAT way." Xellos teased, enjoying it when Zelgadiss blushed again, "And here I thought it was just my wishful thinking."
"Yeah, well, we didn't get to go much farther than that in the dream."
"We could go farther now Zel-chan." He almost regretted the words when Zelgadiss flinched and a shudder passed through him. However, when he looked up again, his eyes were clear, but nervous,
"I want to, but..." his voice trailed off.
"We will go slowly Zel-chan," Xellos said, easing the chimera down onto his back, "There is no need to rush."
Zelgadiss sighed as Xellos began to kiss him again, relaxing as he slipped his arms around the mazoku's waist. Xellos could not believe his luck, he was alone in the forest with Zelgadiss, and his elusive chimera was about to make love with him, it was too good to be true.
He moved back slightly and guided Zelgadiss' hands towards his clothing. The chimera hesitated only a few seconds before he began to remove Xellos' cloak, and hesitated not at all before continuing on to the rest of it. When he met Xellos' gaze again, his blue eyes were burning with awakening desire. Xellos smiled, kissing him again as he slowly removed the chimera's clothes.
They lay together for a long time, hands gently caressing exposed skin, kisses getting more intimate with each passing moment. Xellos slid closer to Zelgadiss, feeling the chimera's arousal brush against his leg and hearing a groan in response to the touch. He slowly began to kiss down Zelgadiss' body, feeling his lover's muscle tense beneath him, but he didn't stop until he was between Zelgadiss legs. He looked up, holding the chimera's gaze as he slid his tongue along the length of his lover's shaft. Zelgadiss' eyes closed as he moaned, his head falling back. He was breathing hard now, panting as Xellos repeated the motion, the tension in his body shifting to a very different, and much more preferable, kind. Xellos began circling the tip of Zelgadiss' shaft, then wrapped his mouth around it and sucked, watching his lover's reactions the entire time. When teasing anymore would have been cruel, he began to suck in a steady rhythm, taking as much of Zelgadiss into his mouth as he could before sliding back and starting all over.
He kept the rhythm going until Zelgadiss cried out, tension breaking as he released into Xellos' mouth. The mazoku swallowed as quickly as he could, teasing some more when the chimera was finished, making his lover hard again almost immediately.
"Wait," Zelgadiss whispered, gasping, "At least give me a break first." Xellos smiled, sliding up along Zelgadiss' body to lie beside him again, kissing him deeply while providing the requested break.
Some break, Zelgadiss thought to himself, there's no way I can catch my breath with you kissing me like that.
It was nice though, Xellos was begin so careful, he was a little surprised with this side of the mazoku, but it was what he needed right now. It was very different, his responses to Xellos' touch felt good, exciting, it was strange.
Xellos pressed against him and Zelgadiss was suddenly made aware of how much desire the mazoku was currently restraining. Tentatively, Zelgadiss slid a hand down the smooth skin of Xellos' stomach, brushing his fingers against the mazoku's arousal.
Xellos gasped, then pressed closer, "Yes, please, Zel-chan," his voice was a low whisper, "Touch me."
Zelgadiss complied, using only his fingers at first, then growing bolder as he saw and felt Xellos' increasing delight. The mazoku's hips rocked against Zelgadiss' pumping hand, as his mouth capture the chimera's in a hungry kiss. Zelgadiss felt Xellos' arms tighten around him just before the mazoku shot into his hand, hips still rocking mindlessly.
His body finally stilled and he lay next to Zelgadiss gasping as he held the chimera close. He recovered soon though, mazoku stamina, Zelgadiss thought with a smile.
"Zel-chan," Xellos whispered, rolling onto his back and pulling Zelgadiss with him so that the chimera soon found himself on top of his lover, cradled between the mazoku's legs. "Would you?"
"I don't want to hurt you." Zelgadiss said when he realized what Xellos was asking for.
"It will be all right," Xellos reassured him with a kiss, "But only do this if you want to."
Zelgadiss closed his eyes, did he want to?
Yes, he realized shortly, beneath his fear, beneath the recently unearthed memories, he wanted this, for both of them.
"All right," he whispered, and felt Xellos' legs wrap around him. Kissing his lover, he positioned himself, then drove slowly into the mazoku, swallowing Xellos' moan of pleasure when it came.
"You're so tight," he whispered, feeling Xellos' body closing along every inch of his shaft as he began to move.
"It's been so long," Xellos whispered back, "I couldn't risk it, oh! Please Zel-chan, faster!"
Giving into the plea, Zelgadiss increased his pace as much as he could convince himself to. This had to be hurting Xellos, it had to be! But he could see nothing but pleasure in the mazoku's responses and such reassurance was able to chance away his concerns.
His cry mingled with Xellos' as the two clung to each other trembling. They lay together for a long time afterward before Zelgadiss finally rolled to the ground beside the mazoku as opposed to lying on top of him.
"Sorry," Zelgadiss murmured, "I must have been crushing you."
"I didn't mind," Xellos replied, snuggling closer, "It felt good." A blanket appeared over them as they wrapped their arms around one another, making Zelgadiss laugh briefly.
"You know, there are some definite benefits to having a mazoku lover."
"I'm glad you see it that way, as long as you only mean THIS mazoku."
"Hmm, are you the jealous type?"
"I have been known to be incredibly possessive, yes."
"Good, I suspect that I have the same qualities."
"I take it that's a return warning."
"Mm hmm." Zelgadiss answered. He was exhausted, lack of sleep combined with his recent activity had managed to sap all the energy he had left.
"Good-night Zel-chan," Xellos whispered, "Sweet Dreams."
If he hadn't been half asleep already, Zelgadiss would have started laughing.