A low campfire surrounded by a tightly knit group, a group I have somehow become a part of. Somewhat accepted, somewhat trusted, a member of the ream, and yet not. It's strange, being both inside and out, a friend but not. I guess this is the closest I'll ever come through, after all, mazoku don't make very reliable friends.
Not that they'd only be facing the danger of me betraying them. No, the greater danger is that they would then become a target, a weapon for my enemies to use against me. And if they were used as such, would I be able to save them? Would I choose to? Not if it meant jeopardizing my mission and they know it.
Maybe that's why these four appeal to me. They have proven themselves capable of handling almost any threat. I would almost pity the one who tried to take them hostage, and I would definitely pity the one who attacked them while believing them weak. Moreover, I am to watch them, my mission involves spending time with them. I could save them if I chose and not be violating my commands.
But will they accept me as a friend?
Of course not, not completely anyway. Not that I blame them, if our positions were reversed, I wouldn't trust myself. It's hard to be friends with someone whose loyalties will always lie somewhere else. Not to mention the fact that I have proven myself to be very dangerous. Well, at the very least, that Gold Dragon proved it for me.
They never bothered to ask if I wanted to do it.
Not that it matters I suppose, I did it, and I would do it again. My feelings in the matter are inconsequential. Actions speak louder that intentions for everybody, even me.
A little ironic that.
It's not supposed to matter to me, but it does. I guess everyone gets lonely after a while, and being so close, it makes me wistful. Sometimes I wish...
But I guess it really doesn't matter, does it? Why bother wishing for something that will never happen, can never happen?
"Xellos?"
"Hmm? Yes Lina-san?"
"You're unusually quiet tonight, what are you thinking?"
I smile as I always do, and answer as I always will, "Sore wa himitsu desu."