This is a team MST! It's by me (Silver Angel-chan) and Witch.
navy = document to be MSTed
A room. Just a room, with a table, six chairs, and a stack of paper on the table. Witch is sitting in one of the chairs. A non-existent door opens, and Silver Angel walks in, holding a chain)
S. Angel: C'mon guys, this fic won't MST itself!
Witch: What's up?
S. Angel: I summoned Zel-kun, Xellos, and Lina to MST one of my fics. But Zel-kun and Lina don't want to play!
Witch: Sounds like fun. I think I'll join. But can I ask you something?
S. Angel: Yeah? Xellos, push Zel in here, not pull down his pants!
Witch: Eew. Anyway, why don't you summon Rezo-san?
S. Angel: Cool. Here, take the chain, and pull Zel-kun and Lina in here.
Witch: Do I hafta?
S. Angel: Yes.
Witch: Damn. Grabs chain.
(Silver Angel walks to another wall, and opens another non-existent door. She leaves, and Witch drags in the two reluctant Slayers. Singing comes from another room, then a soft poof. Silver Angel walks back in, dragging Rezo with her. Yes, his eyes are open, and they are a pretty sapphire color.)
Witch: Hi, Rezo-san!
Rezo: Kill me. Please.
S. Angel: Shabby already did. So, do you know why I summoned you four?
Zel: I'm afraid to ask.
S. Angel: I already told you ... You guys are going to MST "Kai-ou"!
Witch: The sixth layer of Hell. Laughs like Naga
Lina: You do that too well.
Xellos: This is the...
S. Angel: Xellas isn't going to kill me. I made sure of that before I wrote this. Besides, I know you'll have fun riffing this one, Xellos.
Zel: Riff... what fic?
S. Angel: Wouldn't you like to know? close approximation of the Naga laugh
Witch: I still do it better.
S. Angel: I know. Well, on to the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Got it?
Witch: I dunno... Maybe we should check it again?
Note: This sucker is weird.
Witch (acid guy): Weird man... ever since I took that acid...
Since you probably know Kai-ou-sama's present state of mind, you know how this'll end.
Zel: Oh, yes we do. We know Silver Angel's state of mind too.
S. Angel: Shut up, stone boy.
Kai-ou, a Possible History of the Deep Sea Dolphin By Silver Angel
Witch: Now who named you the official historian, Silver Angel-chan?
S. Angel: I did!
Chapter 1: Choices
Xellos: Handcuffs or straitjacket?
Rezo thwacks him with his staff
Witch: Toldja he'd come in handy.
S. Angel: Speaking of "handy..."
Rezo: You're a hentai.
S. Angel: Why else does Xellos like me?
Witch: to Xellos Do you like me?
Xellos: Of course! glomps her, face in her cleavage.
Witch: Rezo-san, can I use your staff? Rezo hands it over XELLOS NO BAKA!
smacks him. Hands back staff Thank you.
"What have you been doing, Sai?"
Witch: Sai Wouldn't you like to know?
Lina: Who is Sai, anyway?
Xellos giggles
The blue haired Mazoku girl
Lina: Uh, oh.
sighed in exasperation. "Nothing, Mother. Can't I just go out to walk, alone?"
Witch: Sai Stupid rapist stalkers... can't go out cause of them...
S. Angel: I thought Xellos would get to that one first...
Her mother glared at her.
Xellos: mother Just look at the mess in your room! You left your vibrator on!
Rezo smacks him
"Our Lord
Witch: Touchy subject. Shouldn't touch.
is coming to see us, and the mess you call a room hasn't been cleaned.
Lina: Eerie.
S. Angel: Way eerie.
You promised you would do that nine years ago."
Zel: I'm glad I don't live with her.
"Mother, my room is in another dimension.
Witch: church lady How conVInent!
It won't be seen. Plus, I haven't gone swimming yet."
Xellos: Sai The horny fanboys haven't seen me naked yet!
Rezo: Please refrain from making those comments.
S. Angel: He says those comments because you'll whack him. Try Mace-sama instead. hands over her mace
Rezo: I don't know...
S. Angel: Leaves a mark.
Rezo takes it
Witch: Can I have your staff?
Rezo: Uh... to Silver Angel Should I let her have it?
S. Angel: to Rezo It's not the best of ideas, but it's not the worst.
Rezo: Here. gives Witch staff
Witch: Yay! I'm going to keep this forever and ever!
Rezo: Wait... KEEP IT?! Takes it back
Witch: Party pooper.
"You and your swimming," her mother replied scornfully.
Witch: Mother You don't love me at all!
"I don't see why you do it. Your dolph friends of yours are
Witch: - crackheads.
S. Angel: Don't.
practically useless. I have yet to see a dolphin that can scare a human."
Xellos: But they can do so much more!
Zel: I didn't want to know that.
Lina blushes
Sai stiffened
Witch: I thought Sai was female...
Silver Angel keeps Rezo from whacking Witch.
in anger. "I'm leaving now. And don't make fun of my dolphins."
Lina: Sai I raised them since they were little!
S. Angel: Now you're getting into it!
She then turned,
Witch: And did the Macerana!
Minna sans Witch: NO!! NOOO!! Whacks Witch
and left the house. The blue haired girl walked down to a cliff that overlooked the sea.
Zel: Then jumped over it...
Xellos: Wishful thinking, Zel?
Zel: Never hurts.
There was a perfect diving spot on the cliff.
Lina: To kill herself?
S. Angel: Now, now, this fic is four chapters long. It can't end here.
Minna sans Silver Angel and Witch: Damn.
Witch: This will be fun.
Sai stood with her toes curled over the edge, her hands reaching to the sky.
Witch: She's becoming SUPERMAN!
With a deep breath, she leaped up, flipping once as she dove cleaning into the water.
S. Angel: Reminds me of that "Echo" game...
Witch: Yeah. Looks pretty, couldn't play it.
Swimming was Sai's favorite activity. The water relaxed her.
Zel: Ah, some taste in the story.
Witch: You know, we agree on something.
She was always surrounded by her friends, the dolphins, that only seemed to ask that she stayed with them as long as she could.
Xellos: IfyouknowwhatImean!
S. Angel: I think I do... turns slightly green
Rezo decides to use Mace-sama against Xellos
Swimming was an escape, of her parents, and from the pressures of her Mazoku life.
Witch: And her crackwhore friends, of course.
Impishly,
Witch: Lookie! Final Fantasy ref!
she broke for the surface at high speeds.
Xellos: Mach 3!
Sai almost cleared the water, but her feet remained under the surface. The girl dove back under, imitating a dolphin.
S. Angel: Poor Sai.
Lina: She can't accept the fact she isn't a dolphin.
Witch: Humor her. She's been abused.
Rezo: What is so horrible about her home life anyway?
S. Angel: Is this why you ended up so screwed up, Zel-kun?
Rezo: Hey!
Witch: I don't see what's so wrong about her home life too. What is so wrong?
S. Angel: It makes a good plot point.
Rezo: Natch.
Several times, Sai repeated the imitation, enjoying herself immensely.
Xellos: More than sex?
S. Angel: Naw, nothing's better than that!
Witch: How do you know?
S. Angel: ... Good guess?
Finally, she floated to the surface,
Zel: sarcastic gasp She's dead!
S. Angel: Poor Sai.
Lina: That means...
Zel: The story's...
LZR: THE STORY'S ALMOST OVER!!!!
S. Angel: Not quite...
only her head above the water.
LZR: Damn.
She started to swim back to shore.
When she was finally able to stand on the ground, and have her head above
the water,
Witch: I thought she had her head above the water.
Sai looked up to see a man standing next to a tree. Smiling.
Zel: It's Xellos...
Xellos: ^_^
And staring at her.
Xellos: - naked body.
S. Angel: Close...
"Aa! Pervert!" she screamed, launching a lance of water at him instinctively.
Xellos: See! I'm right!
S. Angel: That's scary...
The lance didn't even come close. Sai was close to repeating the magic when she noticed his glowing ruby eyes.
Lina: Oh, crap. It's Shabranigdo.
Rezo: That's what he looks like?
Zel: I thought he was a big crab...
"Oh! My Lord! I'm very, very sorry."
Witch: Sai Don't kill me! Please?
She bowed her head, hoping he would forgive her.
Minna: Not likely!
S. Angel: Not bloody likely!
Witch: British pottymouth! British pottymouth!
S. Angel: Hush, you.
Zel: This does not bode well...
"It's alright, young dolphin,"
Xellos: Sai I'm a Mazoku, damnit!
he said soothingly. "I should be the one to apologize. I startled you. May I ask your name, young dolphin?"
Lina: Disbelief Shabranigdo's that polite?
"Sai," she said, stepping out of the water. "My name is
Witch: - Bond. James Bond.
Zel: - Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
S. Angel: I didn't know you're a "Princess Bride" fan, Zel.
Sai, my Lord."
"Sai,"
Xellos: Just Sai!
he repeated, tasting the name on his tongue.
Witch: That could be considered kinda hentai...
S. Angel: I know... ^_^
"It is a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl."
Lina: Sai Pervert.
Rezo: Shabranigdo's a pervert?
Sai blushed, and bowed her head again. "I-Thank you, my Lord."
Xellos: Sai And get rid of those nude pictures of me I know you have!
Rezo uses Mace-sama again
"Oh, please drop
Xellos: Shabby - your clothes.
S. Angel: You're as bad as Risha...
Minna sans Silver Angel and Witch: Who?
S. Angel: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Witch: It's her Billy ripoff.
Minna sans Silver Angel and Witch: Who?
the formalities. I am Shabranigdo."
Witch: Shabby - Lord of the "Special" Mushrooms!
He raised one of her pale hands,
S. Angel: She should really get out more often.
Lina: Kinda like you, Rezo.
Rezo: How else do you think I kept my skin so well after 300 years?!
S. Angel: You're that old? That means experience...
Rezo inches away from Silver Angel
Witch: Rezo-san, is it true incest produced Zel?
Rezo: I'm not answering that.
S. Angel: "Sore wa himitsu desu" would be more effective, Rezo.
Xellos: My star student!
and kissed it gently.
Xellos: Bomp chicka bow wow!
S. Angel: No fair! I wanted to get to it first!
Witch takes Rezo's staff and hits both of them
"Do you swim often, Sai?"
"Y-yes." The Mazoku girl was suddenly aware of
Zel: - the fact she wasn't wearing anything.
Xellos: You agree with me! glomp
S. Angel: pouts How come you never glomp me?
Xellos: avoiding Zel's fists You might put me in a fic with... shudders her.
Lina, Zel, and Xellos gag. Rezo looks confused.
S. Angel: I like Ki, alright? She's neat.
Xellos can't answer, because he's being beaten into a tiny pulp
Zel: Fruitcake.
her bedraggled appearance. "Oh, I'm not decent right now. I-I should go get changed, my Lord."
S. Angel: Shabby Can I watch?
Witch whacks her. Xellos has made a recovery
Xellos: You are my star student! glomp
S. Angel: Thank you!
Lina: mutters The only person in the room that wants to be glomped by him...
Witch hits Xellos as he starts putting his hands in the wrong places on her neechan
Witch: Leave my sister alone.
S. Angel: pouts You're no fun.
"I thought we were going to drop
Xellos: - your pants.
S. Angel: It was funny the first time, Xellos. Now it's annoying.
Xellos: I know. ^_^
the formalities, young dolphin."
Lina: Sai Mazoku. Mazoku, damnit!
S. Angel: It's a sign of endearment, Lina-chan. Deal with it.
She shook her head. "Oh, no, my Lord. I-I'm just a
Witch: - crackwhore.
S. Angel: What is with your obsession with crack?!
Witch: Uh, sore wa himitsu desu?
S. Angel: Nice try. whacks her imouto-chan
Rezo: Be nice to her!
S. Angel: whacks Rezo Hush up, Akohoshii.
Lower Mazoku. I shouldn't..."
Witch: Don't, Xellos, sis.
Silver Angel and Xellos pout
The Ruby Eyed Lord widened his
Xellos: His what?
S. Angel: Yes, that's a question that begs for a hentai answer...
eyes
Rezo: Shabby I can't help it! I'm an anime character!
Silver Angel and Witch look at him strangely
Rezo: What?
in surprise. "A beautiful, powerful
Xellos: Shabby - big chested...
S. Angel: That's Naga.
Witch: "Powerful"?
S. Angel: Or so she thinks.
Mazoku like you is just a Lower Mazoku? Impossible.
Witch: Singing Impossible! For a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage!
S. Angel: Not going to ask... not going to ask...
Witch: "Cinderella, the Musical".
Minna sans Witch: Oh.
Lina: You're nuts.
Witch: True, but I saw that one in Theater Arts.
That must be changed as soon as possible."
Rezo: Quick! To the Batmobile!
S. Angel: You're a Batman fan?
Rezo: quickly I just saw it once, okay?
Zel: You're blind.
S. Angel: And you haven't had a chance to see anything after you died.
Rezo: Uh... uh...
Witch: It's alright, Rezo-san. pats shoulder
Rezo: Could you not call me "Rezo-san"?
S. Angel: Would you prefer her calling you "Rezo-sama"?
Rezo: "Rezo-san's" fine. blushes
Witch: Wow. He really is related to Zelgadis...
Zel: HEY!
Sai blushed a deeper red.
S. Angel: Look! Sai's related to him too!
Zel: Silver Angel...
"I-I'm not sure I deserve the honor..."
Xellos: Sai - of the Royal Whore.
S. Angel: Then can I have the job?
Witch: NEECHAN!! You're putting our gender to shame!
S. Angel: I was talking to Xellos.
Witch: Sick... sick... you are just sick, neechan.
"No, I insist, young dolphin.
Witch: Shabby Take this crack!
Lina: What is with your obsession with crack?!
Witch: More quickly this time Sore wa himitsu desu!
Silver Angel rolls her eyes
If you would accept, I would like to make you one of the Dark Lords."
Zel: Dark Lords of what?
Witch: Dark Lords of Fuzzy Pink Elephants?
S. Angel: Dark Lords of the "Special" Mushrooms?
Xellos: Dark Lords of...
He isn't allowed to finish that, because Rezo hits him with Mace-sama before he could
Her blue eyes widened. "D-do you mean it, my Lord?"
Lina: Shabby Nah, I'm just kidding.
He nodded, once. Sai didn't have to be asked twice.
Witch: I thought she was...
"I'll do it!"
Xellos: Sai I'll be your love slave!
S. Angel: Reeeaaallly?
Witch: buries head in hands Neechan, neechan...
The Ruby Eyed Lord smiled at her, then leaned in, whispered,
Xellos: Shabby You haven't taken off your clothes yet.
S. Angel: Want me to?
Witch: NEECHAN! Want me to get the Eraser of Doom?
Slayers characters look at Witch oddly
S. Angel: No more perverted comments out of me for the rest of the chapter...
Witch: Sarcastically Oh, well, that's comforting.
"Then open your mouth, and accept my power."
Zel: Shabby Or get your voice sucked out. Either one.
She did so, and he leaned forward, transferring power to her. But Sai strongly thought that he was also just stealing a kiss from her.
Witch: Ah, that ol' horndog!
Xellos: That's a bad thing?
Silver Angel bites her tongue
When they pulled apart, she felt a strange power filling her body,
Lina: She became the Slayer!
S. Angel: Ironic, isn't it?
Lina: thinks Yeah, you're right.
as well as a connection with her dolphins.
Xellos: Now she can actually make love to them.
S. Angel: Rezo, can I use Mace-sama for a moment? Rezo hands it over Thanks. hits Xellos several times, then gives back the mace Here. It's a present.
Rezo: Uh, thanks.
"You are now the
Witch: Shabby Lord of the "Special" Mushrooms!
S. Angel: Don't fill up our quota too fast.
Kai-ou. Do you wish to change your name, Sai?"
Zel: Sai Yeah, I want to change it to Moonunit.
S. Angel: That's that scariest name ever.
Witch: Rezo, this is your grandson/great-grandson.
Rezo: I never saw him before.
Zel: Shut up. All of you.
Witch: Is your brain going a little crazy, Zelgadis-chan? notices him pouting Hey, at least she isn't here.
Mistress of Darkness: Someone call for me?
Witch: Crap.
MoD: notices Zel ZELGADIS-SAMA! glomps
Zel: Help?
MoD: purrs in his ear Let's go somewhere... private?
S. Angel: No. Not until the MST is over. Now leave, before I bring in the demon girl.
MoD: I don't know who you're talking about, but I'll leave. Party pooper.
leaves
Lina: to Silver Angel You'd really bring in Ki?
S. Angel: Yep!
LZX: Crap.
She closed her eyes, as spoke the first words that came to mind.
S. Angel: JUPITER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!
Witch: Sailor Moon bad! Sailor Moon bad! runs like a chicken with its head cut off
S. Angel: Um... Uh... Ra Tilt?
Witch: Better. Sits down
Minna sans Silver Angel and Witch: Nani?
"Yes. Deep Sea Dolphin."
The Ruby Eyed smiled at her.
Zel: Shabby Now my plan to take over the world will succeed!
Witch: to Silver Angel You been letting them watch "Pinky and the Brain" again?
S. Angel: Maybe...
"As you wish,
Zel: Princess Bride ref!
Lina: When did you see that, anyway?
Zel: Well, I had to have something to read while you were eating.
Witch: Eating what, praytell?
S. Angel: Why can you make hentai comments, but I can't?
Witch: You filled your quota for the chapter.
S. Angel: Fuck.
Witch: Why isn't that censored? Censors, censors!
S. Angel: Shut up.
Deep Sea Dolphin. Your first duty, as a Dark Lord, is to
Xellos: Shabby - get rid of your underwear!
S. Angel: What about him?
Witch: He filled his quota within the first page, but it won't stop him.
S. Angel: Shimatta.
cut all the ties that bonded you to your Lower Mazoku life."
Witch: DSD Then hand me a freaking pair of scissors!
Deep Sea Dolphin widened her eyes.
Witch: DSD Stupid anime otakuism...
"M-my parents? And sister?"
Zel: Shabby Kill them.
S. Angel: That's a ref from somewhere...
He was deadly serious. "If you wish to be my Dark Lord, you must follow my orders, immediately and flawlessly."
Xellos: Shabby The blow-job must be perfect!
S. Angel: I hate this... Why can't I say something?!?!?
Witch: Go ahead. I'll hit you later.
S. Angel: Thanks! Really, Xellos? Can I try?
Witch: mutters my neechan is sick...
She lowered her head, but not in thought or shame. It was that she didn't want him to see the evil smile crossing her face.
Lina: I doubt that was what happened, Silver Angel.
S. Angel: Sounded good. Well, what do you say about a break?
Minna sans Silver Angel and Witch: YES!!
Rezo: You know, some sake would make this much easier...
S. Angel: No! I am not giving the Greywords sake. I know better.
Zel: Why not?
S. Angel: Other than the fact I won't give it to you, stone boy? Don't ask me again, or I'll write you in a lemon fic with whispers in his ear
Zel: blanches NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Witch: What did you say to him?
S. Angel: Sore wa himitsu desu. ^_^