If I Were a Character in a Fantasy Movie I Would

from Thrythlind Hardwulf

1. Not forget that I had been given magical acorns that turn anything I through them at too stone

2. Not save said acorns for beings that can successfully resist said effect

3. Not leave my magical shield behind to be dissolved in the monster's acidic blood when I can just as easily walk around the spreading blood pool and pick it up before it reaches the shield.

4. Not walk in sandy substances in open areas while invisible so that people can easily follow the trail of my foot prints

5. upon seeing someone wearing a skull helmet and using a much bigger sword than anybody else has, throw a stoning acorn at him immediately.

6. upon defeating ugly hag in the swamp, I would not say "I did it" and pose for a few seconds. I'd take a little time to look for magical shield I dropped in the water.

7. When fighting a dragon I would not aim for the very large throat, or try to cut through the thick scales on top. I might give it pain, but at this age that's all they feel anyway. I would try to stab it through the eye.

8. When a wizard I've offended asks for my magical sword and says he'll cast a spell on it, I will not give it to him.

9. Not assume the wizard is dead, especially when his body is consumed in green flame.

10. When fighting for the first time in a new body, I will not ignore the instructions of an older specimen of my new race.

11. Not read a spell out loud merely because I can understand the words in that particular spell.

12. would make the most flowery and righteous speeches possible.

13. not ignore those around me when they say that mortal weapons can't kill this creature

14. never run from anything immortal.....it attracts their attention

15. always believe in old myths

16. hope I'm not the party's mentor character, or else find a new vic..err volunteer for that

17. I would not disbelieve that a small party of adventurers could destoy an army

18. would demand to know that if the solution is more dangerous than the threat, why we should bother.

19. never trust the rich priest

20. never boast of my escape from the unescapable prison.

21. run screaming in absolute terror from any wanderer without any obvious means of defense

22. not leave the book/damsel/target of the dark forces in the "safest place in the kingdom" the safest place in the kingdom is the first place they'll look

23. not give in to prickings about my honor when I have the villian at my mercy, he plans to stab in the back as soon as I turn around.

24. not laugh at strange wanderers....ever.....I like being human, or whatever I was born as.

25. always be on the look out for my long lost relatives or my hidden destiny.

from Cormac ap Tarkus MacCleod

26. if someone says to not go into the dark, evil looking forest....DON'T

from ashes2ashes

27. If I am adopted I will imddeiatley ask everyone I meet if the are related to me. None of that "revelations " at a critical time for me

from Alyson Metallium

28. Hunt up a trusty companion who could protect my back. Make sure he/she isn't very pretty, pretty companions are usually the evil ones (unless you get a Gourryish companion).

29. Not ignore warnings about the powers of the villians.

30. Never put all my faith into my magical shield. It's almost always guarnteed that SOMEONE will be able to pass it's magic defenses.

31. Keep a few hidden blades up my sleeves, down my boots. If the baddie goes for your magical sword, you can always catch him by surprise.

32. never brag about how powerful my weapons or companions are.

33. never piss off my companions, they're the ones who are cooking, cleaning, and watching your back.

from Cormac again

34. never fall in love... the person will either turn out to be an evil minion, or get killed

from Moniker - Plushie

35. I would learn why my ultra paranoid companion is ultra paranoid before the reason comes knocking/shooting/ ect.

36. If I suspect one of my companions is an enemy spy, I will not tell everyone else about it, as at least one of them is bound to be a horrible actor.

37. I will demand to know my parents' life history and all the names, locations and powers of the people they invariably pissed off who might be coming after me.

38. If I am an orphan I will demand the story of how why parents died and why.

39. if no one knows why my parents died, I'd make it a priority to find out

40. if my parents were nobility displaced from their seat of power, I will see if the local populace would support me before declaring a quest for a revenge. they might like the new guy better.

41. If one of my childhood friends comes down with amnesia, I will not immediately tell him or her everything about myself in attempt to jog their memory.

42. If I am given a choice between a magical staff and a magical sword, and I only know how to use a staff, I will take the staff and give the sword to the swordman of the group, instead of insisting on keeping it for myself.

43. If I am unskilled [be it at combat or magic], I will seek instruction rather than experimenting.

44. If I have enough money to hire the skilled mercenary who's help I really need, I will not try to get her to do the job for free. If she is that good, she probably has plenty of job offers.

45. If one of my minor enemies tried to backstab his employer to join my group, I would not trust him. what he did once he may do again.

46. If I come across a feast in my enemie's castle, I would NOT eat it, unless i was already suffering from some sort of poison,because then it might be the antidote. Enemies are nothing without a sense of irony: "but the antidote was right there, you little fool. *evil laugh(tm)*"

47. I will never, ever, ever anounce to the enemy that he's about to die. If it's true, then he'll find out soon enough, and if it's not, I'll sound really stupid.

48. I will clear up any outstanding grudges or debts before I leave my home village, so my conscience won't bother me at inoppurtune times.

49. If I have a distincive accent or stutter I will let someone else talk to the guards that question us.

50. If I have to gamble I will NOT try to cheat the dealer

51. I will fall in love with one person of the opposite sex and make it CLEAR to that person and everyone else that I love them and ONLY them. this will help avoid undue tension later.

from Xeno

52. never walk through an unmarked door unless I really really had to

53. make sure always to have a few dozen feet of rope with a hook on my person at all times, even when the ground is flat for miles in all directions.

54. carefully know any place where the ground is flat for miles in all directions, because it's just begging to suffer from a sudden earthquake and have a bottomless pit appear right underneath my feet.

55. be wary of any and all extraordinarily normal people, because that's what I would try to do if I had something up my sleeve.

56. never stop for easily-reached souvenirs in the enemy's dungeon or fortress. No enemy worth his salt is going to leave his favorite toys just lying around for a burglar to snatch up.

57. never ask a Wizard for a really big favor, even if he's one of my bestest bestest friends, and ESPECIALLY if he has a sick sense of humor