"Now remember," the mini-Urd said. "We don't want to interrupt them, that might be bad at this point." Ryouga was struggling not consider that thought, clamping his nose closed.
"You actually think we're going to have any control over this fight?" Jiro asked.
"Does the term speed bump mean anything to you?" Aki added nervously as they took perches on the roofs around Ucchans.
"Hey," mini-Urd said. "I looked up your files, you survived pissing off Lina Inverse, and you think you'll have troubles here?"
"Lina Inverse isn't a first class greater demon," Aki said.
"No, but she's been involved in killing two," Urd said. The elder Hibikis blanched.
"Ruh...really?" Aki asked timidly.
"About that tea..." Jiro added. Aki glared at him. "Let's just be very careful when we get it."
"Who's Lina Inverse?" Ryouga asked curiously.
"She's not in this reality," mini-Urd said. "So don't worry about it."
"Okay," Ryouga said nervously.
"And my other me said she was going to get reinforcements, right?" the mini-urd sounded nervous.
"Why, Urd-chan," Kodachi purred into the phone. "Of course I'll come, what do I care about demons with a Goddess in my...corner?" She smirked and then frowned in confusion. "Why do you sound so small?"
"Well that answers the question of how far I got, I suppose," Urd said, somewhat embarrassed after ending the call.
"Oh, Akane!" a gasp came from upstairs. Speaking of how far some one was getting. The mini-Urd fought down the urge to go up and take notes, and instead went back to the phone. Why couldn't Ukyou have two phones?
Nabiki blinked and looked at the phone for a moment in confusion. Some had just demanded that she bring "the WHOLE file" to "two blocks from Ucchans." They also had asked what she was doing at the Dojo anyway.
The funny thing was, that Nabiki felt a definite urge and desire to obey. You'd almost think that she were talking to divinity or something.
"Uhh, I gotta go Kasumi," Nabiki said, as she went up to her room to grab her files. "I'll be back later."
"All right," Kasumi said brightly. "Have fun!"
"What's this about demons?" Ranma asked nervously as Urd was dialling a long number on the Nekohanten phone.
"Since Urd-sama seems to be otherwise engaged," Cologne said. "I shall explain. Greater demons often come down to Earth to offer a wish to a mortal, they seem to choose almost at random, good, evil, weak, strong, there seems to be little to it."
"Well," Ranma said. "I don't remember making any wishes."
"Yes, Peorth," Urd said. "I want the WHOLE file down here, and YOU with it to answer any questions."
"The phrasing was that you are the center of a demonic wish," Cologne said. "Not that you made one. In any case, a demonic wish gives the wisher what he asks for word for word, but ruins their life and often lives of those around them in the process. Often times, they encourage the mortals involved into corrupt behavior that eventually leads them to hell. At rare times a mortal will actually call a demon to them and sell their soul for a wish. Which is what I believe happened in Shampoo's case. My daughter was known to dabble in such things which is why she eventually died." Shampoo flinched at that, never having heard of such a thing before.
"So you're saying it was a demon last night that made Shampoo do that?" Ranma asked. Urd nodded as she hung up the phone.
"That's right, lover," Urd said, amused as Ranma flinched. "There was a whole slew of demons whispering in his..." she smirked at the statement. "Ear last night. Curse Akane, curse Ukyou, curse all the Tendos, and then while the rest were arguing she got cursed and Aitvaras followed him to your landing put the pressure point idea in his head. I wasn't there completely, and it's not like I could compete with all of them anyway, so I just waited until he left and told Shampoo exactly what he was doing."
"Aiya," Shampoo said. "And Shampoo try to stop, but."
"It was too late for that," Ranma said. "So who are all these wishes 'targeted' on anyway, and what do they got to do?"
"That's what Peorth is going to tell us when she gets here," Urd said. At which point the phone rang. Urd blinked and picked it up. "Hello? Who is...got it...it's worse than you think."
"What was that?" Cologne asked as Urd hung up the phone.
"That was me," Urd said. "We got demon problems already."
As for the demons. Most of them weren't in any particular condition to be aware of the problem at hand.
Tisiphone stood in Hell, wondering just exactly how she had gotten there. She scratched her head and looked around curiously.
"Congratulations, Tisiphone," a demon passing her said, coming out of the main office. The woman looked familiar, but she passed by so quickly that Tisiphone wasn't given a chance to identify her.
"EHHHHHH??!!" Tisiphone asked, confused, trying to track the fading voice in the teems of the demonic on the streets of Hell.
"Demon First Class, Tisiphone!! Report to the main office!!! NOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!" Tisiphone cringed and swallowed as she turned to face her punishment. Whatever it might be.
"He's certainly bound for greatness now," Aitvaras said drunkenly to the rather scared person standing across from him.
In his drunkness he had sort of reverted back to his "natural" black cat form. Black cats did not often drink enough to put twenty men under a table, and even more rarely spoke in anything considered intelligble sounds afterwards.
In fact, the scared young man was realizing, black cats rarely spoke at all. He was a little drunk himself, but he figured it was probably because most cats were shy.
"Well, sort of wanted to be hero and great mage like in the stories you know?" he asked. The cat looked the man over for a moment. "I'd like to see new worlds I'd guess."
"Well, Mr. Liquer," the cat smiled, yes smiled. "This is your lucky day."
"This should cover his tab," a woman said at the bar, just out of the demon's earshot. "Keep him entertained."
"NOW where is that boy?" Ays grumbled as he returned to scanning the world for his charge.
As a wind demon he was certainly capable of moving quickly, unfortunately, he was also pushing a small storm system ahead of him. So by the time he "found" Ryouga, the Lost Boy was a Lost Girl and Ays continued travelling ahead, not recognizing his prey.
Getting fed up, Ays began to search in a little more detailed manner.
As for where the rain storm came from?
A woman smirked grimmly as she shook the rain from her coat.
As for Megaera and Alecto.
"You got this coming, little sister!" Megaera growled before unleashing a wave of dark destruction. Alecto teleported away, letting the wave through and opening a hole the street behind her former position.
"Your little tricks won't help when I've torn your guts out!!" Alecto retorted in a raspy, hissing voice. Appearing behind Megaera in her Fury aspect, claws, snakes for hair, bleeding eyes, the works.
There really was no need to help further here.
"Amateurs," a woman said bluntly as she watched the display for a few seconds in disgust.
"Great," Ryouga said, trying to wring out her clothes without taking them off. "I'm a girl again."
"Very healthy one too," the mini-Urd said.
"Yeah, you're going to be a load of fun," another mini-Urd said as it landed to next to the other. In a moment the two merged and there was again just one mini-urd. "In either form."
Ryouga responded in his...errr...her normal manner. She fainted as her nose started to bleed.
"Have to cure him of that," the mini-Urd said.
"Excuse me!" Aki snapped. "Teasing my son is fine and dandy, but NOT while we're looking to face two FIRST-class greater demons!!!"
"We need all the help we can get," Jiro confirmed.
"Don't worry," the mini-Urd said. "Help is on the way." At that point a certain high pitched laugh woke up Ryouga just in time to see Kodachi land.
"Oh dear, Urd-chan," Kodachi said, surprised as she crouched down to look at the mini-Urd. "This is certainly a trick that you will have to teach me. It would make stealth so much easier."
"Uhhhh..." the mini-Urd said. Kodachi's face moved to look over at the Hibikis.
"Ohh, who is this?" Kodachi asked. "If I read the aura right," she glanced to Urd for a moment as if checking with a teacher. "Then that is Ryouga!"
"Aki and Jiro Hibiki," mini-Urd said. "Meet another of your future daughter-in-laws, Kodachi Kuno." Ryouga was lacking a verbal response.
"She's a little..." Jiro started.
"Strange." Aki finished, which, coming from her was saying quite a bit.
"I am pleased to meet you father and mother-in-law," Kodachi said. "I would like to assure you that I will do my best to be the perfect wife and husband to all of my soon-to-be spouses. And I certainly have the resources to provide for us. Actually, my family has the resources to provide for well over fifty families for over a lifetime."
"You mean you're rich," Aki said.
"I own the moon," Kodachi said, not joking at all.
"Welcome to the family!" Jiro and Aki declared together loudly, welcoming arms almost knocking Ryouga off the building.
"Up there on the roof!" Ranma's voice called out from below. In a moment he was standing there with them, quickly followed by Shampoo, Cologne and Urd. "What's going on no...Ryouga?"
Ryouga on the other hand worked through his confusion long enough to identify Shampoo.
"SHAMPOO!!!" Ryouga snapped coming face to face with the surprised girl...or would that be cursed boy in girl form now, anyway. "WHERE'S THE NANNICHUAN!?!!"
"Shampoo HAD Nannichuan!" Shampoo said. "Until stupid...green...haired...girl...spill on her..."
"Spilled on..." Ryouga turned pale. "You're the guy I ran into last night."
"You mean that what happened is RYOUGA'S fault?" Ranma asked.
"Realize you are speaking to a future wife," Cologne reminded Shampoo before she decided to go a rampage against Ryouga.
"Husband," Aki corrected.
"Whatever," Urd said as she recombined with the mini-Urd. Kodachi watched impressed. Urd acquired a small knowing smile and looked toward Ucchans. "My, my, aren't they having fun. And how did I call Peorth twice?"
"Ehhh?" Ranma asked confused.
"I really do need to learn that trick," Kodachi purred.
"Speaking of marriages," Cologne said, pulling a spray gun and producing a change in Ranma. Ranma glared at her. "Get on with it."
"Get on with what?" Aki asked suspiciously.
"Oh, this will be entertaining," Urd promised. "Just some Amazon laws require this to be girl-girl first, or there are some legal problems that could result in somebody's death otherwise."
"Ehhh?" Jiro responded.
"Ummm...about this marriage thing," Aki weighed being related to a goddess, in law anyway, and these strange laws she was hearing about. "Whatever, as long as he doesn't disagree. I guess it is something of a male fantasy."
Ryouga was still frozen in shock at hearing the nannichuan was spilled when Ranma walked forward toward her. She didn't notice the wicked smile on Ranma's face as she considered a little light payback for the Lost GIRL's accidental involvement in last night's events.
Ryouga barely heard the whispered "wo ai ni" as Ranma came with in a hair's breadth from Ryouga's face. The warning was trying to work it's way through the shock when Ranma's tender, subtle approach suddenly exploded into something a little more...active. First she pulled Ryouga's head down to meet her own, and it progressed from there.
Ranma was, of course, a technique sponge, though usually it had to be connected to martial arts somehow for her to pick it up quickly. Still she did somehow manage to get enough of Urd's kissing technique down that, considering the shock she was already in, Ryouga's brain was restarted and crashed several times in a few brief seconds.
Everybody sweatdropped as the kiss continued, Ranma's hands roaming in some...interesting places as Ryouga clutched back at her, at first reflexively and then apparently responding. Though the watchers sort of doubted that Ryouga was truly aware of what she was doing.
The Hibikis began anxiously looking anywhere else as their "son" started to buck strongly. It only lasted a few seconds before there was a muffled cry. Ryouga's eyes rolled back in her head as she fainted away from Ranma, a rather surprised and happy expression on her face.
"That," Cologne said, highly embarrassed. "Is the first time I've seen the Kiss of Marriage come with its own consummation." Ranma smirked triumphantly as she set the swooned Ryouga on the ground and then washed her hand on one of the fainted girl's many bandannas.
"Oh my goddess," Aki said, confused.
"Did we just WATCH our son lose her...his virginity?" Jiro asked.
"Aiya," Shampoo gasped. Kodachi blinked in surprise and seemed to be drooling.
"Not bad for a beginner," Urd noted. "You certainly have something to work with here. Probably only worked that well because she was unbalanced at the moment."
"Yeah," Ranma said. "Well that's all he OR Shampoo," the purple-haired girl twitched. "Are getting from me for at least a week, so he'd better enjoy it...." Ranma froze and her eye began to twitch. "I. Did. Not. Just. Say. That."
"RANMA-DARLING!!" Kodachi waved. "Over here! Ranma-darling!!" Ranma twitched, maybe he should have done Kodachi first.
"Hey," Ranma said, suddenly. "Look, there's Nabiki. Damn, she should get out of here before things get rough." Ranma went down to talk to the girl and warn her away.
"And HERE comes Peorth," Urd said. "Finally to get some answers."
"What are doing here, Nabiki?" this red-haired girl asked her, landing from a jump about three-stories tall.
"Excuse me?" Peorth asked. "I think you got me mixed up with someone."
"It took you long enough," Urd said appearing in front of Nabiki. Nabiki looked up and for the first time in her life felt like kneeling in prayer and begging for mercy.
"Sorry," Nabiki said nervously. "It took a little while to gather everything up."
"Whatever, Nabiki," Ranma said. "What're are you doing here?"
"Wait, you're Saotome aren't you?" Peorth asked.
"Yeah," Ranma said irritably. "There's going to be some bad stuff going down Nabs, you should..."
"I'm not who you think I am," Peorth said. "Urd asked me to come."
"Uhhh," Urd said, retreating from using that small spark of divinity in her yelling. She sometimes did it out of habit when talking to other deities.
As the divine force impending her to obediance vanished, Nabiki found herself shaking her head loose.
"Huh," Urd said. "You're not Peorth."
"Somebody called me here," Nabiki said. "Can I assume it was you?" She sounded annoyed...and intrigued.
"Ahhh," Nabiki said, snapping. "This explains the two phone calls."
"Wait," Ranma said, looking at the scroll "Peorth" had shown her. "THIS is the wish contract."
"That's right," Peorth said. "I assume you're going to show me where Urd is hiding now?" Ranma palely pointed to the roof he had jumped down from as she considered what she had just seen on that scroll.
"She's up there," Ranma said woodenly. "Give me a moment." Peorth was about to counter the offer when she was quickly picked up and deposited on the roof.
"WHY!!! If you weren't tagged for possible ascension!!!" Peorth fumed as she straightened herself out and saw Urd arriving with...herself.
"Ahhh," Nabiki said, then pointed. "Peorth?"
"Nabiki?" Peorth said pointing back at the mortal. "Well this explains things, somewhat."
"You'd think they'd notice the head-markings though," Nabiki added. Then she corrected herself. "Maybe not Ranma."
"HEY!!" Ranma snapped.
"Whatever," Urd snapped. "Now, could you please explain to us the FULL data on what is happening?"
"Well, first," Peorth said. "Here is your wish contract." She handed the over as she started looking for the file. Urd opened the scroll casually, not expecting it to be about six feet long.
"Erk," Urd said. "What did I miss?"
"How very...interesting," Kodachi said as she started reading it next to Urd. Cologne, Shampoo and the Hibiki's looked like they would be swallowing their tongues soon.
"WHAT?!!" Nabiki screeched as she came to certain part of the scroll.
"Ranma-chan...." a slowly awakening Ryouga muttered.
"Ranma," Cologne said in shaky voice. "Let's get this overwith before the demons come."
"Demons?" Nabiki snapped in confusion and concern, turning her head right around to see Ranma's face.
"Wo ai ni," Ranma said. "Sorry about this." And then, of course Nabiki was treated to a teaser of what was currently frying Ryouga's brain.
"Ranma-sama!" Kodachi whined. "I'm still here."
"Gotta go," Ranma said apologetically.
"Hai, hai," Nabiki said blinking.
Urd was smiling mischievously, if that girl thought THAT was something...well just wait until it was her turn. Nabiki blinked and sat down on the roof.
"I'll just sit here," Nabiki said firmly. "And try to figure out what's going on until I wake up."
"Well, finally," Kodachi sighed. "Ranma-sama I was beginning to think that you'd..."
"Kodachi, be quiet," Ranma said. "Wo ai ni." Kodachi's kiss was comparatively simple to Nabiki's even, much less Ryouga's.
"That's IT?!!!!!" Kodachi gasped.
"Yeah," Ranma said. "We need SOMEBODY in fighting condition."
"And now, finally, oneesan," Alecto hissed through what remained of her breath. "You will fall before my might."
"Not if you're wiped from existence first, imoto-chan," Megaera gasped.
The condition of the terrain matched that of both demonesses perfectly. It was absolutely, completely and totally wrecked. It looked as if Tokyo Tower had been destroyed yet again.
Which was probably because Tokyo Tower had been destroyed yet again.
A small crowd had begun to appear around the squabbling sisters, and the collective sweatdrop was intense indeed.
"I think that should about cover it," one woman said in the crowd, checking her watch. She gathered breath and screamed. "Urd's at Ucchans!!!"
Both demons stopped their catfight and stared at each other before screaming in a girlish manner that most certainly did not go with their fearsome appearance.
"Amateurs," the woman muttered again as they vanished. "Total amateurs."
"Here they come!" Urd shouted suddenly.
"I can't interfere in this," Peorth said. "Sorry."
"I think we got enough for them here," Urd said. Peorth nodded and vanished away into the security camera over a nearby ATM machine. Ryouga snapped awake and was suddenly facing the same way as the goddesses.
"Errr," Ranma said as she felt the approach suddenly. It was something dark, evil...pitiful. Though she was thinking of it pitiful more like in the manner of seeing someone suffer that didn't know they were suffering.
"Make that pathetic," Ryouga said aloud, showing that his own thoughts mirrored Ranma's.
"How dare you interfere in our business, Norn!" Megaera said weakly, trying to catch her breath.
"Leave now!" Alecto added, her command having very little power as she currently looked as if she had been squeezed flat and then re-inflated. "Before we dine on your liver for the remainder of eternity."
"Wow," Urd said. "I wasn't expecting you guys to beat on each other THAT badly. Incidentally, Heracles freed Prometheus, remember?"
"These are the big scary demons you gathered us all to fight?" Aki asked, pointing to the sky.
"This is rather," Jiro searched for the right word. "Anticlimatic."
"Just as well," Cologne said. "We had a climax earlier."
"I think there've been several happening at Ucchan's," Urd said. Ranma looked confused, Ryouga looked embarrassed (especially at the mention of her own situation) but not on the verge of fainting for once.
"SILENCE!!!" Megaera demanded. "Now face the combined fury of the furies!!!" She reared back, face angry, until she noticed that Alecto wasn't joining in. "WELL!!! Are you going to combine our powers to crush these insects?"
"Ummm," Alecto said, for once tired enough that her "eternal fury" was for the moment spent. "Don't we need Tisiphone for that?" Megaera face faulted. Out of the air. About seventy feet straight down.
"That looks like it hurt," Kodachi said, smirking as she looked over the edge.
"Now," Ranma said, cracking her knuckles. "Are we still going to go through with this?"
"Errr," Alecto said. "AHHH!!! Ummm...I've got a date with Baal!! Sorry, sis! Gotta go!!" Then she vanished in a puff of noxious fumes.
"Why you..." Megaera gasped. "Leave me here to face them all by myself, you little...." Megaera blinked strangely. "BAAALL!!?!?!!? That THREE-TIMING BASTARD!!! I'M his mistress!!!! Just for THAT I'm telling Tisiphone about about it!!!" Then she was gone.
"That was really...." Ryouga said, sweatdropping.
"About par for this town," Ranma said wearily.
"Hai," Ryouga said.
"Okay," Urd said. "Ranma, I think you need to go speak to Ukyou and Akane now. They should be finishing up."
"Yeah, yeah," Ranma said. She paused. "What are they doing over there anyway?" Then she jumped down to the street.
"It is amazing," Cologne said. "He can remain clueless even after Shampoo, you, Ryouga, Nabiki and Kodachi."
"That WASN'T a dream," Ryouga asked. "I mean NIGHTMARE!! Nightmare!!"
"Yeah," Nabiki said at last from her seated position. "You looked really frightened while you were passed out with that silly looking grin."
"Excuse us," Aki said a slight blush on her face. "I think we'll be getting home for the night, it's been tiring. Make sure to invite us to the weddings."
"Yeah," Jiro added. "Things to do." Then both teleported away.
"Well Ryouga-chan," Urd said smirking. "If I'm not mistaken, that's your little brother or sister in the process of being conceived just now." That short circuited Ryouga's already many-times stressed brain, and she fainted again.
"Excuse me," Nabiki said standing up. "I think I should go warn some people. Can someone give me a ride?" She was answered by a couple of leering smirks and frowned irritably. "Not that kind of ride....well...not yet..."
"That was," Ukyou struggled for the words as she got dressed.
"Yeah, really," Akane said also getting dressed now that she was again a she. "Do you think we should say anything to anybody?"
"I don't know," Ukyou said. "This is pretty big. But it's not like we're going to be able to hide this curse anytime soon." Akane nodded.
"Well," Akane said. "With any luck, Ranma will come in, kiss us each saying 'Wo Ai Ni' and start to say something about being an Amazon now..."
"Just before we double team her you mean," Ukyou said. "Amazon style."
"And then give her a surprise," Akane added smiling firmly. "You know, actually, I doubt we'd let him get past 'sorry bout this.'"
"Oh," Ranma said. "You guys are up here, wow, Ukyou, you and Akane been working out up here?" Ukyou and Akane stared at him in surprise for a moment. Ranma got nervous for some indescribable reason. "Anyway. I gotta do something..."
At which point Ranma kissed each of them quickly in turn before either could hit her, saying "Wo ai ni." Then Ranma pulled back away from them a couple of feet.
"Sorry 'bout this," Ranma started, whatever else she had been about to say was cut off as Akane was suddenly kissing her passionately and apparently Ukyou was at his back, and her hands were somewhere very personal.
Ranma's thoughts as they carried her to the bed were along the lines of. "I'm I ever going to get sex as a guy?!?!!??"
Mara was in Hell...and she didn't remember how she'd gotten there.
"Demon First Class Mara!!!! OFFICE!!! NOW!!!"
Mara cringed at the sound of the voice, then straightened her back. She had been caught, but she was knew that was going to happen.
She walked proudly into the central office of hell, ignoring the black sent her way. What did she care about them, she was going to be wiped from existence in the next moment. What did she care what any of them thought.
"Well," Hild said angrily. "You managed to not only scuttle five other demon wishes and insure your children have a good life."
"Don't forget I tricked you into helping me," Mara said. "Where is Tisiphone anyway?"
"SILENCE!!!" Hild roared. "Not only have you allowed this one Goddess to embarrass five other demons, but you have abandoned your own post as well!!"
"Oh," Mara said, unconcerned. "Is something happening at the Norn's place?"
"Belldandy and Keiichi are consummating their relationship!!" Hild snapped angrily. "You MAY still have time to interrupt it."
"Why bother?" Mara asked. "Skuld will get in the way as usual."
"She isn't there," Hild growled. "Now, about your job."
"Just kill me and get it done with," Mara said. That would be what happened, demons were too dangerous to leave alive if they turned on hell. Too many became gods when they were left alive.
"Your death will be among the most..." Hild began. And then Mara was lunging at her, powering up a charge. She noted the bodyguard oni moving to intercept her. "NOO!!! THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS!!!!"
It was too late as several of the oni's spears intersected in Mara's body. Then all it required was for Mara to not allow her body to heal. She smirked once triumphantly before her body vanished in a flash of darkness.
Hild growled but watched, satisfied as the darkness of Mara's soul began to sink to the ground, heavily. She was satisfied until the darkness peeled off a sphere of golden light that slowly began to rise out of the palace.
"NOOO!!!" Hild screamed as she watched the true escape taking place. She began to up her power to do the impossible, kill a soul. When a stately Japanese Goddess appeared to take hold of the soul.
"I'll take that," she said. "We have somewhere to put her." With that the woman began to quickly fade away.
"COME BACK HERE GODDESSS!!" Hild roared.
Urd gasped as she felt like some part of her and been torn away. She'd heard of that feeling from other gods. Her other half was dead at the hand of a mortal or demon.
Mara was dead.
Urd's shoulders slumped.
"Is something the matter, Urd-sama?" Kodachi asked.
Ryouga and Shampoo had escorted Nabiki home. They were the only two she was willing to go with at the moment, though she hinted she was interested later. After she had thought things through thoroughly.
"Kodachi," Urd said sadly. "I need to tell you about your mother."
"What would you know about that?" Kodachi asked.
"Because I just felt her die," Urd said sadly.
Belldandy looked down at her Keiichi as slept soundly after their...activity. She smiled and brushed at his bangs. Skuld might be a little unhappy though. Best not to tell her about it, or Urd, since that would be essentially the same thing.
"I have a little news," a woman's voice said. Belldandy looked to see a Japanese Goddess at her door, holding a small box.
"Izanami-sama," Belldandy said formally, standing up without disturbing Keiichi. She bowed, a little embarrassed by the situation the other goddess had caught her in. "This is...rather...unusual."
"It is," Izanami ascented. She held out the box. Belldandy looked down and felt was inside. "She took death over her children's suffering, even refusing to interfere here." Belldandy blinked and took the box curiously.
"Who is..." Belldandy looked down and opened the box. In a moment she was bathed with white light that quickly faded away into her. "Mara. Oh dear, Urd!?"
"Is fine," Izanami assured her. "Mara was killed by some oni in Hild's office." She approached Belldandy and gently laid a hand on the other goddess's stomach. "Perhaps this lifetime she'll be given a better life."
"Oh dear," Belldandy gasped, placing her mouth to her hands.
"Well," Izanami said stepping away. "It was either you or Urd's menagerie. And for once in her existence, I think Mara deserves a relatively peaceful life."
"I don't suppose that will be possible with those six mortals in particular, not to mention Urd," Belldandy said with a laugh.
"Oh, you haven't heard?" Izanami said.
"There's more than forty names on here!!!" Ranma said.
"Forty-six, including us," Urd said. "And most likely we'll meet them before we know who they are."
"We already know some of these people," Akane said.
"I know one," Urd said. I guess I'm Keiichi's sister-in-law in more ways than one.
"Wow," Ukyou said. "That's going to be one hard sleeping schedule to work out."
"I suppose," Urd said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "That when your mother said 'you all,' Ranma, that she was thinking a little more broadly than I was."
"Well, consider this," Peorth said. "Pretty much everybody on this list is being considered for some important things. Some of you are looking at future divinity, and the rest are all soon to be einherjar or valkyries."
"And how am I supposed to invite people girl-girl," Ranma complained. "If some of these are guys?"
"The nyannichuan is still around," Ryouga noted. "By the way Ranma..."
"Ryouga," Ranma said. "I am not doing anything else with you for at least a week, and I explained why. Besides, I still have to finish bringing Kodachi, Nabiki and Urd into the family."
"You make it sound like work?" Urd said, mildly insulted.
"I'm just wondering when I get to be the guy," Ranma said testily. "I'll probably forget about it quickly."
"Ahhh," Urd said, smirking. "Well, let's see what we can do after the 'bringin in.'" She smirked seductively. Ranma swallowed nervously and eagerly all at once.
"Hey, Ryouga" Akane said after watching Urd for a moment. "Ukyou and I can help." She glanced to Ranma. "You only did with her as a girl right?"
"Yeah," Ranma said. "So?"
"So," Akane said, sharing a look with Ukyou.
"In some ways," Ukyou said. "He's still got a cherry to be picked."
"Errr...." Ryouga said nervously.
"Just give up now, Ryouga," Ranma said.
Epilogue: two years later.
"Well, guys," Akane said gesturing around her. "What do you think?"
They were inside the main hall of what used to be the Kuno estate. Which was the center of the surrounding area, collectively known as the Saotome colony for those that knew to look beyond all the marriages and knew that it was one mass family. Between Kodachi's and Tatewaki's resources, Nabiki's financial expertise and the various talents of the associated people, they had done very well for themselves.
"Not quite what I was thinking," Sayuri admitted.
"What," Akane asked. "Were you expecting wall to wall sex?"
"Well," Yuka said. "Yeah."
"Kind of why we were surprised to see you at college," Hiroshi added.
"Actually," Akane said. "A lot of us go to college. It's not like we're all one tracked minds here, and there's enough people around that someone interested in a little action can find someone else interested in the same."
"Oh hi, Akane," a woman said in accented Japanese as she passed by. She had short black hair and dark skin. She was carrying a bag of peanuts. "How was school?"
"Fine, Ukyou and Nabiki still have a final to do though," Akane said. "What's that, Rally?"
"Ranma said he wanted peanuts," the woman said, rolling her eyes. Yuka identified the accent as American this time.
She gestured behind her as she said it. Akane, Sayuri, Yuka, Hiroshi, and Daisuke looked back to see a brown-haired woman, about Akane's age, with a long pony-tail, and Kasumi also bringing in bags of peanuts.
"Nobody thought to make sure just one of you was going," Akane said. "Did they?"
"Well," the brown-haired woman started to say, scratching the back of her head.
"Ummm," Kasumi said, flushed. "Excuse me, Akane, we should be along. Makoto, Rally, I think we should bring Ranma her peanuts."
"Right," Rally said. "Better get to him, before the mood swing starts."
"Uh," Hiroshi said as they watched the three women walk away. "What was that?"
"That was why Ranma skipped this semester," Akane said with a smirk. "You know how a fraternal twin happens right? The mother has two eggs in her body at the same time and they're both fertilized by different sperm." The four visitors nodded.
"Yeah," Yuka said. "We all took biology."
"Well," Akane said, still smirking. "Those would be father's one, two and three of Ranma's fraternal triplets."
"KASUMI!!!????" Daisuke gasped.
"Strip poker tournament," Akane said. "Ranma lost...several times."
"Hey wait!" Sayuri said. "I thought there was no more Nannichuan."
"KASUMI!???!!" Daisuke repeated.
"Well," Akane said. "To make the marriage thing work legally, we all needed two identities. So Urd worked something out she saw in another timeline or something, she talks weird sometimes. So anyway, she made it possible to spread the curse, sort of like a virus, just not so that it will get out of control."
"Okay," Sayuri said. "How is that?"
"KASUMI!???"
"I'll tell you later," Akane said, smiling.
"So is Ranma stuck as a girl now or what?" Hiroshi asked.
"Nope," Akane said. "But if he changes to a guy, the girl body and baby go into stasis so it just makes things take longer. He staying right now until the babies are born."
"KASUMI!!??!"
"Oh," Yuka said. They were walking further into the building. "So how many children are you expecting?"
"Well," Akane said. "I'm pregnant, but I've been having a little too much fun with my male side for it to show yet."
"Who's the father?" Hiroshi asked weakly.
"KASUMI!!!!??!"
"Ranma, of course," Akane said dreamily. "And let's see. Nabiki is carrying Kiyone's child." She shivered. "That is going to be one scary kid. Ukyou is carrying my child." She said that as dreamily as she mentioned carrying Ranma's child. "And Urd apparently is having a kid with Kodachi. Ryoko is having Setsuna's baby. Ummm...Natsume and Ayako formerly of the Tendo and Mano clans are going to have a kid...let's see...there's three others, but I can't remember them off the top of my head. Fortunately that stasis thing gives us SOME control over when things happen."
"Uh huh," Hiroshi said. "So is this everybody?"
"Almost," Akane said, smirking secretively again.
"Hey, Akane," a cheerful looking girl in a Megumi Tech shirt said.
"Megumi and Ranma," Akane said, snapping her fingers. "Damn, should have remembered my child's own half-sister." Sayuri and Yuka blinked, surprised, the girl wasn't showing at all.
"Yep," Megumi said cheerfully. "So this is them?" The four noticed they were suddenly two other people around them. Including someone they recognized as Shampoo's male form.
"Hai," Akane said. "Shampoo, Ayeka, Megumi. These are my friends." She turned to them. "You know, I'm really glad you four thought this place was going to be just sex all the time."
"Huh?" Sayuri said. "Why." At which point Akane squirted Hiroshi and the still stunned Daisuke, who both turned to girls.
"Because it means that's what you were expecting to get," Akane said. "And since Ranma is indisposed to this at the moment and the Amazons allow stand-ins for these situations." She smirked and then the last four people on the list received their Kisses of Marriage.
There you go people...and now let's see a list of the cliches made fun of...
typical cliches made fun of so far
a) Amazons allow multiple marriages
This is wrong, even in the anime (which is done quite a bit more poorly) Cologne told Lin Lin and Ran Ran that Ranma was already taken.
b) all the characters are or can become bi-sexual
Quite wrong, maybe one or two of them. Of them all, only Nabs seems to lean towards non-straight at all...and that's just glimpses here and there
c) mysteriously appearing nannichuan and nyannichuan
It is quite obvious that it isn't THAT easy to get a hold of Jusenkyo water...this includes other convenient sex-change methods
d) Urd as bi-sexual
Wrong, she never shows any interest in girls in the manga
e) It can be learned who a demon or god's doublet is
Wrong, Belldandy and Welsper are a special case. Most demons and gods have no idea who their doublet is.
f) The doublet system is only triggered by direct conflict between demon and god
Wrong, any demon killed results in a god killed
g) Belldandy and Kasumi are practically identical.
Wrong. They are similar. Belldandy is a lot more outspoken than Kasumi. Belldandy's hair ranges in hair color from grey, to silver, to brown depending on how the light hits it. Kasumi is better able to keep her cool than Belldandy. Kasumi is unlikely to punish somebody in easily identifiable ways. By the way, if Skuld isn't around (like in the early Manga) then Urd and Belldandy fight just as much as Skuld and Urd...Belldandy grows up when her baby sister is around...Urd doesn't
h) Demons are stuck by their wishes...
They are under no obligation to give a wish.
i) The craziness of the Ranma universe is due to evil and sinister forces beyond their control.
Unless you count Takahashi-san....no.
j) "Urd is a slut"
Incorrect...Urd is loose...and might be somewhat free...but in the comic she leaves someone because he keeps putting other things above her...so it's unlikely for her to share
k) Ranma marries everybody
Yes, Ranma, and everybody else, marry everybody....^_^...well almost...
l) Ranma have sex as a guy? Heaven forbid
m) Ranma the hyper-fertile
n) Gods surviving the death of their bound Demon
IT DOES NOT HAPPEN!!!!
o) Akane as the virgin hunter
p) blase parents
really people
q) big huge build up, with little follow through in the end
(That's a joke a couple of levels folks...^_^)
r) Nabiki/Peorth similarity...
s) Ranma and others, destined for greatness
If you can think of others tell me...
Akane
Ami
Ayako
Ayeka
Azusa 1(DHY)
Azusa 2(DHY)
Chigako
Damian(whatever his Japanese name is)
Daisuke
Goldie
Haruka
Herb
Hiroshi
Hotaru
Kasumi
Kiima (cured of her Akane curse for a gender flip instead)
Kiyone
Kodachi
Kurumi
Makoto
Megumi
Michiru
Mihoshi
Minako
Mousse
Nabiki
Natsume
Rally
Ranma
Rei
Ryoko
Ryouga
Ryuu
Sasami
Sayuri
Setsuna
Shampoo
Tatewaki
Tenchi
Tofu
Ukyou
Urd
Usagi
Washu
Yohko
Yuka