Ranma's double bed was a little more crowded than usual. Sprawled across it were two figures competing for space. One was a tiny, blonde woman dressed in Chinese clothes with a short pig tail that was coming undone. The other was a fairly tall woman with tangled and matted silver hair wearing an outfit in multiple loud colors. The clothes in both cases were torn, sweat stained and very wrinkled. The woman with the silver hair was snoring loudly, while the other woman seemed to have kicked off her blanket and was starting to sprawl across the bed. It was only a matter of time before one or the other would wake up.
This is what is known as a dangerous situation.
Ryo-Ohki was snuggled comfortably between them.
She was being incredibly optimistic.
Ryoko reached up to scratch her head and then let the arm fall back down. She squinted in confusion upon hitting something soft other than a pillow. Of course, having endured Happosai, Ranma's response was slightly louder and more violent.
"Happosai!" Ranma shouted, sitting bolt upright and looking around for the perverted gnome. "When did you get ba -- !" She was cut off by a slap to the face.
"What are you doing in bed with me!?" Ryoko demanded.
"ME?!" Ranma shouted. Then she pointed angrily. "YOU'RE the one grabbing me!"
"Feh," Ryoko said, crossing her arms. "If I did something on purpose it wouldn't be such a clumsy grab like that one."
"So you have experience with feeling up other girls then?" Ranma asked angrily.
"Yes..No! Arg!" Ryoko growled. "Only as a joke! Besides anybody who ends up with you, better be a little flexible."
"Oh thanks," Ranma said. They glared at each other for a moment.
"Why did you dump me in this bed with you?" They both demanded at once.
"You can be pretty sure that I would be male right now if I had been up and around," Ranma snapped. "Or at least not blonde."
"Like I'd dump in this bed and go to sleep there," Ryoko snapped back. Ranma stared back at her a few moments.
"Yeah," Ranma admitted finally. "You'd have to have won our match to do that."
"What are you talking about?" Ryoko asked. "I did win."
"No you didn't," Ranma said. "I did."
"You were just about to fall over," Ryoko reminded her.
"And you weren't?" Ranma asked. "The last thing I remember is taking you down."
"Same here, punk," Ryoko said. They growled low at each other.
"Iiiaaaooo," Ryo-ohki wailed. Ryoko hurriedly dug the dazed looking cabbit out from under the blankets.
"What happened to you?" Ryoko asked.
"I think we did," Ranma said, embarassed.
"Listen, I'm a damn sweaty, coconut smelling mess," Ryoko said. "I get the bath first."
"I've got the same trouble, AND I'm the wrong gender," Ranma reminded her, whispering. "And stay quiet or my Mom will wake up and you know what she'll suggest." Ryoko flinched.
"I want the bath, Ranma," Ryoko growled.
"So do I," Ranma said. They stared each other down for a moment, then Ranma smiled. "Flip for it?" Ryoko blinked and then smiled.
"Sure," she said.
"Call it," Ranma said, producing a coin.
"Tails," Ryoko said smirking. Ranma was about to flip, but paused.
"What is it with the tail anyway?" Ranma asked. "Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not."
"Minor shape-changing trick," Ryoko said. Suddenly Ryoko split into two people.
"That question coming from someone who changes gender," the first Ryoko said. She was a scholarly looking woman with her hair pulled back and a pair of spectacles.
"Seems rather silly to ask," the second Ryoko said, looking like a wide-eyed college student. They both fixed Ranma with a scathing glare.
"What the -- ?"
"Flip the damn coin," the Ryokos said in unison before merging into one body. Ranma shrugged and smirked before flipping the coin. She watched the coin confidently, until it clattered to the ground and landed, tails up. Ryoko vanished into the furo, smirking. Her voice virtually sung out from behind the door. "I won."
"Miao, miao" Ryo-Ohki said in a frustrated manner, shaking her head. Ranma picked up the still warm coin. Ranma flinched a little in surprise at the sound, but she really was getting better at that.
"Yeah, I figured it out," he said. "But then again..." He flipped the coin again, and then produced five more coins, and sent them into the air before the first had landed. All six coins landed on top of each other in a tidy column, heads up. "I was cheating too."
Ranma shrugged and walked into the kitchen. If she had to wait to clean up, not really all that high on her list anyway, she could at least heat some water to change back to normal. Even if she was merely indifferent to her female form now, she still vastly preferred to be male. Besides, she absolutely hated being blonde.
Ranma might say pink hair was worse, but that's because she felt like she was expected to. Pink hair only got her accused of being an Utena otaku, which was okay because that was a show with some fighting and such. Not that Ranma ever watched that it, no way.
It just seemed that whenever her hair was blonde, people tended to treat her as if her her intelligence had dropped several degrees. The absolute nail in the coffin on that particular color was when someone had made the mistake of calling her "Azusa" as a joke.
Ranma walked calmly, if a little irritably, to the counter and started fixxing a pot of water. While waiting for it to heat up she glanced at the calender. Ranma blinked, and leaned away from the counter to get a closer look at it. She blinked again, then leaned back against the counter.
"I guess that's it then," Ranma said. She turned back to the kettle and started drumming her fingers irritably.
Ryoko felt somewhat cramped in the standard-sized tub. It was a far cry from the palatial facilities Washu had provided. Then again, she hadn't had access to that place since before Jurai, and she'd relied on worse bath facilities before.
"That isn't going away," Ryoko muttered, fingering the scar from Kagato's attack. She had few other scars, her body didn't scar much at all. She closed her eyes and remembered freezing when she saw Yosho had fallen. She threw one weak blast and then let Kagato pick her off.
"Ryo-Ohki," Ryoko called out. The cabbit popped into existence on the sink across from her. "Have you been scanning the news?"
"Ma -- ," the cabbit said shaking her head. "Miao?"
"Not right now," Ryoko said, leaning back. She glanced out the window. "When the sun comes up. That'll be it."
"Miao?"
"You know what I mean, brat," Ryoko said.
Ryoko walked out of the bathroom to find Ranma not there. She blinked in surprise and looked around for the martial artist. She glanced down at Ryo-Ohki, tail swishing in confusion.
"After all that fuss, he just leaves?" Ryoko asked. The cabbit seemed to shrug. "You're a lot of help." She popped into the living room, but didn't see him there. At least not inside. She happened to catch a glimpse of movement outside, however, and glided a few feet before vanishing and reappearing outside.
Outside Ranma-kun was running katas, and Ryoko retreated to the roof and settled down to watch for a moment. Ranma's head inclined in her direction, but only for the briefest of moments. Other than that almost imperceptible motion, Ranma remained focused as his Art.
It was a quite different art from the Jurai sword arts practiced by Tenchi and Yosho. Ryoko could tell that right off, but it was still Art. Without an opponent to face, the moves looked more like a dance than anything else. Tenchi danced too.
"Bath's open," Ryoko said. Ranma looked at her directly, in the middle of a flip, while upside down. Then righted himself and landed lightly. Ryoko blinked and stared at Ranma's feet. He was standing on top of the grass, and the blades were hardly bending. Just how much did he pick up from me?
"I noticed," Ranma said. He glanced towards the rising sun and then stepped onto the dirt path.
"If you're going to make a stink about something," Ryoko said, irritably. "The least you could do is not act like its no big deal."
"Sorry 'bout that," Ranma said, walking towards the house. "It's lookin' like its gonna be a long day already." He stopped and looked up at her. Ryoko watched him expectantly, and Ranma returned the look.
"RANMA!!" the old man shouted, rushing outside to meet Ranma. "How dare you let that woman fight you to a draw."
"What draw?" Ranma asked. "I won." He ignored the rock that bounced off his head. Genma had already turned away and fallen into lecturing mode, and thus missed the rock.
"The report from Ryouga was that he and his fiancee had found you sprawled over each other, mumbling about finishing the fight," Genma said.
So it was them, Ranma thought. Thought so, Mom would have changed me back to normal. Then I probably would have gotten more than slapped.
"They had to carry you back home," Genma said. "So again, how dare you let such a sickly weakling beat you."
"Excuse me," Ryoko snapped, sticking her head through the roof to glare at Genma. "Who are you calling sickly and weak, old man?"
"ACK!" Genma flinched back against the wall. "What is that?!"
"I gotta take a bath, Pops," Ranma said, smirking. "Maybe you'd like to try her for yourself?"
"It would hardly be worth the fight," Genma stuttered. Ryoko growled, and her disembodied head vanished from the ceiling, just before she reappeared completely in front of Genma. She glared for a long moment while Ranma walked inside, then leaned back and smirked.
"How about I hold back a little?" Ryoko asked, smirking. "Would that make it fair?"
"Fair!?" Genma shouted angrily.
"Not going to risk it?" Ryoko went on, floating back into the small yard. "I don't blame you. After all, if your afraid of your wife and her sword you'd be a damn fool to try me."
Well, she's not human, Genma reminded himself. He rushed out and leaped into a quick, flying kick at her. Ranma paused on the threshhold to watch. His eyes widened slightly as Ryoko caught the kick and threw his father. She used almost none of her own motion to turn the attack into a throw. Almost no wasted motion or energy at all.
That's not basic Jujutsu, Ranma thought. She picked up some of my Saotome-Ryu.
Ranma shook his head clear and continued toward the bathroom. He could hear his mother humming pleasantly in the kitchen. He really did need that bath, before his mother started picking at him for smelling up the house. Besides, it was a lot more comfortale than being covered in grime.
"So how was your match?" Nodoka asked politely. She refilled everybody's tea.
"She cheated," Genma answered. Everybody looked at him and blinked.
"I wasn't speaking of that exchange this morning, dear," Nodoka said. "So how was the match?" Ryoko and Ranma stared at each other, virtually daring the other to say that they won.
"She's good," Ranma admitted at practically the same moment that Ryoko said "He's Good."
"HELLO!" A voice shouted from the entrance. It was followed by a cheerful looking Ran-Ran. "City Offices open today! Is time to fix mistake, yes?"
Ranma turned his glare to face the Amazon angrily.
"You're just waiting for use to sign those papers so you can get him," Ryoko said, growling. "Aren't you?"
"No, no, no!" Ran Ran said, glancing nervously at Ranma. "Ran-Ran just want make sure you know it time to fix mistake."
"I know," Ranma and Ryoko snapped back, then looked at each other.
Great, Ryoko thought. Nothing but confusion today, why isn't he already dragging me off if he knew already?
She knew? Ranma thought. Why are we still here? Neither bothered to ask the question about themselves.
"Excuse me, miss," Nodoka said irritably. "You should not enter a person's home without requesting an invitation. It is very rude."
"Umm," Ran-Ran said, confused by the quiet tension in the air. "Sorry."
"I suppose you must be somewhat excused," Nodoka said. "Considering this is not your country. Still I must ask that you not barge in here like that again." And put these silly ideas in Ranma's head.
"What are you two just staring at each other for?" Genma asked. "Hurry up to the offices." Nodoka spared a glare for her husband now. Ryoko and Ranma blinked and then stood up, regarding each other carefully.
"Yeah," Ranma agreed. "Why are we wasting time?" Ryoko bridled.
"Wouldn't want to be a burden on your honor any longer," Ryoko said, glaring at Ranma as he narrowed his eyes. They waited a moment and then stomped out of the room. Everyone stared after them for a moment.
Nodoka turned to say something to Genma, a rather annoyed expression on her face. She was stopped, however, when Ryoko and Ranma both appeared in the room, finished their breakfasts and then stomped out of the room again. Everybody blinked, then Ran-Ran chased after them, probably to make sure they accomplished their task.
"Genma, dear," Nodoka said dryly. "You need to learn to stop interfering in Ranma's life."
"Eh?" Genma said, blinking.
"That is my job," Nodoka explained, walking to the phone.
Ranma stopped walking and glanced around cautiously.
"What's the matter, fem-boy," Ryoko asked irritably.
"Did you feel something just now?" Ranma asked.
"What do you mean by that?" Ryoko asked, turning cautious now. Ranma shrugged.
"I guess it was nothing," he said, still unconvinced. Up a tree several yards away Konatsu watched them walk away. He held up a battered piece of paper and smiled in satisfaction.
"Ukyou-sama will want to put this in a safe place," he said, smiling. He was gone before Nagi appeared on the scene, following nearly a full block away from the couple.
Ran-Ran frowned as she followed Ryoko and Ranma. Somebody else was taking an interest in the couple. Ran-Ran wasn't entirely certain the interest was healthy. The woman did carry herself like a warrior. The animal on her shoulder did look a lot like Ryoko's pet.
Ran-Ran didn't particularly care if this woman killed Ryoko or not, but she couldn't let her interrupt the couple before they anulled their wedding. Ranma would feel obliged to interfere. That might result in her potential airen beating another woman in battle. She understood he was prone to that type of thing, and Ran-Ran felt she had plenty of competition in the silver-haired women.
Her mind made up, she dashed forward and landed in front of the woman following her quarry.
"Who you?" Ran-Ran demanded.
"You finally decided to show your face?" the woman asked from under her hood, smiling.
"You not interfere," Ran-Ran insisted. The woman glanced over her shoulder at the trees lining the park. A pair of shadows shifted slightly. Nagi looked back down at Ran-Ran with a thoughtful expression.
"You might prove useful, girl," Nagi said.
"Miao?" the animal on her shoulder cried out. Ran-Ran could almost swear it was talking.
"You back off, and I no have to kill you," Ran-Ran warned her. Nagi laughed quietly.
Ranma and Ryoko stood in the line and tapped their feet impatiently.
"You're not a burden," Ranma said after a long silence.
"Excuse me?" Ryoko asked.
"You're not a burden to my honor," Ranma said. "You're something of pain in the neck, but you ain't a burden."
"Heh," Ryoko laughed. "Who are you to call me a pain in the neck."
"Takes one to know one, right?" Ranma smirked. They reached the end of the line.
"May I help you?" the attendant asked.
"We're trying to get a marriage annulled," Ranma answered.
"Any reason?" the attendant asked.
"It was a clerical error," Ryoko explained, tightly, drumming her fingers against her elbow. "We didn't mean to get married."
"I see," the attendant said. "May I see the license and your IDs?" Ryoko shuffled uncomfortably at the mention of ID.
"Sure," Ranma said. He reached into his pockets and blinked as he found nothing. "Eh?" He started getting nervous as he continued searching and continued to find nothing. "Ummm, I don't seem to have either."
"What!?" Ryoko demanded. "What do you mean you don't have them!?"
"I don't have them," Ranma said, sweating. "I was sure I had them right here, but they're gone!?"
"I can't help you without those papers, sir," the attendant said. "Please return when you have the proper papers." She looked past them. "Nex-rrk!?" Ryoko pulled the woman up into her face.
"Listen you miserable little creep," Ryoko snapped. "We did not get married on purpose. It was a damn accident, and if you don't fix it right now."
"I...I...I..I can't without the IDs and license miss," the woman stuttered. "There's information on them that I need." Ryoko growled at her. "But you can get new copies."
"Fine," Ryoko said, dropping the woman. "That's another line isn't it?"
"Uhhh..." the woman felt a little afraid of what might happen if she answered.
"Never mind," Ranma said. "We'll find it. Come on, Ryoko." Ryoko turned to see him walking away and snorted.
"You're lucky today," Ryoko said following Ranma. The woman in the both slumped against the counter.
"Next?" she said uncertainly.
The man in the window found himself staring into an angry face, which was not uncommon. The owner of the face was tapping their fingers incessantly. This was also not uncommon. The fact that the counter was cracking under his fingers was.
"We need ID," Ranma growled. "To get a copy of our IDs?"
"We'd accept any of these other methods of Identification," the man said nervously. "If you don't have a photo ID."
"And where do we get these?" Ranma asked coolly, looking over the list for a moment before handing it to Ryoko.
"Well," the man said nervously. "You go to the second door down on the left..."
"I'm sorry, sir," the next man said. "We can't give you this without some proof of your identity."
"That's why we want this information!" Ranma shouted.
"The idiot here lost his identification," Ryoko said irritably. "And I haven't had one for I don't know how long."
"Oh," the attendant said. "Sorry, but if you can't prove who you are..."
"Yeah, yeah," Ranma said turning away from the window and stomping out of the room. "We'll try the next office."
Ranma and Ryoko had taken a break from the endless run of lines to find something to eat. Neither was in an exceptionally good mood. The sight of someone working hard to separate themselves from you was not a pleasant thing, even if you were doing the same thing. Add that to the frustration of dealing with bureaucracy, and you get a powder keg out of anyone.
"Hey!" Ranma said suddenly. "I just thought of something."
"What," Ryoko asked.
"Can Ryo-Ohki do that thing where they make stuff?" Ranma asked?
"She can make 'stuff' but I don't think it would be very useful," Ryoko said snidely.
"No, no," Ranma said. "Like on that American show the reproducers or somethin'?"
"Material fabrication?" Ryoko asked.
"Uhh...okay," Ranma said. "I guess so." Ranma and Ryoko looked toward Ryo-Ohki.
"Miao?"
"I don't think this will work," Ryoko said, standing on Ryo-Ohki's bridge somewhere over the pacific ocean. She was holding a small card that appeared on first glance to be plastic. A microscope would show that it was actually a flat sheet of crystal, however.
"What's wrong with it?" Ranma asked. Ryoko hesitated a moment and then showed Ranma the card. The martial artist burst out laughing at the image of Ryoko with whiskers and cabbit ears.
"Oh, you think that's funny?" Ryoko asked. She tossed him another card. This one with two images, a Ranma-cabbit-kun, and a Ranma-cabbit-chan. A blonde Ranma-cabbit-chan. "Now those are some funny pictures."
"Hey!?" Ranma snapped. "Let's see about this."
He turned to find one of those floating rocks that seemed to be Ryo-Ohki. He leaned to the stone and started whispering. A few moments later another card clattered to the bridge's surface. Ranma snatched it up.
"How's this for laughs?" Ranma asked, brandishing a picture of a Ryoko-carrot.
"Ryo-Ohki!!" Ryoko snapped, the crystals sweatdropped.
"Look at this one," Ranma snickered, picking up a card out of the growing pile.
"Heh, he has hair," Ryoko said, smirking.
"Pops never looked so good," Ranma agreed. "Who's that one?"
"This is Washu," Ryoko said, pointing at the Washu-cabbit picture. "The scary thing is she had a robot once that looked a lot like that."
"Really?" Ranma said. "Weird."
"Miao," Ryo-Ohki said, the sound carrying a definite serious tone. "Miao, Mi."
"Fighter jets, here we come," Ranma muttered.
"There aren't any ships around here right now," Ryoko said. She moved to the deck chair and sat down, calling up a flat screen. A white and blue crystalline ship was shown in the screen. "Nagi." Ryoko growled. A second screen appeared filled with the bounty hunter's face.
"Enjoying married life, Ryoko?" the image asked with cool amusement. "Don't look so surprised. It isn't like this world's computers are a match for Ken-Ohki."
"I'm not interested in chit-chat, bitch," Ryoko snapped back. "You've come to set the duel?"
"I asked you to take care of her Saotome," Nagi continued. "Not take care of her." She repeated with a humored twist.
"I could care less what you want," Ranma said. He walked next to Ryoko and leaned over to whisper to her. "Will she attack in that thing?"
"Ken-Ohki won't hurt Ryo-Ohki," Ryoko answered.
"Neither would Ryo-Ohki hurt Ken-Ohki," Nagi added. "As long as we stay on the ships it's a stalemate." Ryoko growled angrily at the smug Nagi.
"Get to the point," Ryoko demanded.
"Do you know a little girl with green hair that can't speak the local language?" Nagi asked calmly. "Somewhat repetitive name?"
"Ran-Ran?" Ranma asked levelly.
"I had an encounter with her today," Nagi admitted. "About the same time the first of the bounty hunters showed up. Aside from you of course." Ryoko frowned and stood up. She didn't like the girl much, but the girl was a kid, with plenty of time to grow up. Or at least she was.
"Where are the bodies?" Ryoko asked coolly. Ranma snapped a look at her.
"Oh, she's still alive," Nagi said. Another flat screen appeared showing two figures. Ranma flinched away from one, a nekojin with a superior smirk on his face. The other looked more or less human, if a fairly battered one.
"Those aren't bounty hunters," Ryoko growled. "You sold her off?!"
"What do you mean sold," Ranma asked, getting near to losing his cool.
"Carella and Irashi here claim to be bounty hunters," Nagi said. "But they have other lines of business. If you hurry, you can get to them before they reach the nearest black market port."
"You bitch," Ryoko snapped. "What are you doing this for?!"
"I'm just warming up," Nagi said, and her communication screen finished. The screen viewing Ken-Ohki showed the cabbit ship receeding rapidly, and they didn't have time to chase it.