"Akane," the girl in question looked up from a doomed brick to regard her oldest sister. "Ranma is waitressing isn't he."
"Yeah, they talk about his 'cousin' Ranko on the show from time to time,"Akane agreed. "WHAT!" the brick died, as did the other five underneath it. "About it? Why should I care what that baka is doing?"
"Well, you remember when he was working at the Nekohanten for Shampoo and her grandmother?"
"Are you talking about the stereo sounding of 'I hate boys,'" Nabiki asked as she joined her sisters.
"Oh, that." Akane hmphed as she set up a few more bricks. "One of the few times that he made sense." Nabiki and Kasumi decided against commenting on that remark.
"Did anyone ever figure out why he went off the deep end like that?" Nabiki asked. "I mean he had been getting irritated with the groping the whole time, but for a couple days there even Ryouga and Kuno were avoiding him. Come to think of it, its happened a couple of times since then, never as bad though."
"Well, he was already depressed and angry that first time," Kasumi said as she nodded. "It was the same reason Akane was on edge as well."
"That can't be," Akane paused. "I was... oh...oh my." Nabiki, meanwhile, merely burst out laughing. "Nabiki that isn't funny."
"I hadn't thought of that," the middle Tendo admitted, as she calmed down. "Explains a few things though, what brought this up?"
"Because Ranma is waitressing as his job on that show," Kasumi noted.
"So wha....oh...think we should warn them?" Akane asked.
ring ring ring
Nuku Nuku: "Moshi moshi!...no Ranma-san is not here...mm-hmm mm-hmm...OKAY!! URD-SAN, PHONE!!"
Urd: "I'm coming, I'm coming..."
Nuku Nuku: "She's coming...okay...are you Akane-san?...Ranma talks about you all the time when we play...what's that breaking sound?...Oh, here's Urd-san."
Urd comes around corner
Urd: "Thanks Nuku Nuku...hello, whatever it was, it wasn't my fault...I've haven't done any...oh...one of Ranma's harem? That sounded oddly like a wall being knocked down, are things okay over there?....a condition? What kind of...okay, I'll ask him about it...moody, irritable, over-reactive....gotcha, thanks for the warning....Do you want me to relay any messages for you?.....that's usually my kid sister's schtick, but I can handle it."
sets phone in the cradle
Urd: "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that she just said that Ranma had periods."
heads back for the TV room
Ranma was having a bad day. A bad day even by his standards. To understand the depth of what "bad" means in this case, one should consider that Ranma's normal day generally involved at least one battle to the death (not counting Kuno, who is something more like "stress relief"), maybe two or three attempts to drug his food, by the two crazier women in his life. Then of course he had to try and to talk to his best friend, and "cute" fiancee, without leading her to the wrong conclusions. Of course, no day would be complete without getting malleted by his "uncute" fiancee, several times. Finally, he had to deal with getting groped by happosai, and having to suffer through the fathers' latest "operation true romance."
Now that the level of "bad" is at least somewhat determined, more specific information can be provided. First of all, he, or she at the moment, was on her period. Normally she would just avoid the situation by avoiding her female form. Considering Ranma preferred to remain male whenever possible anyway, this wasn't much of a change from any other day. The problem was that he had been hired as a waitress and not a waiter. It wasn't like he could walk in and say, "Hi, I'm Ranko and I'm really a guy, I just have this curse that turns me into a girl, but since I'm on my period I'd rather not deal with it. Do you mind?"
This made her irritable on its own, which was blown somewhat out of proportion by her situation. This did not reach the level of "bad" by itself, however. Nope the level of "bad" came from outside his control, to a certain degree at least.
"Does Ranko seem a little...on edge today?" Washu asked as the redhead made her way to their regular table with some drinks. A cute smile was plastered on her face as she made her way through the tables. Until, of course, Ataru goosed her. Which is part of why she had been having "bad" days.
Washu, Urd and Kasuga watched as "Ranko's" smile vanished, her eye started twitching, and a frightening blue aura began to emanate from her. Washu and Urd watched their drinks shaking on the tray and in dismay decided that they would probably have a wait another minute to get them.
The tray and drinks went up smoothly, Ranma whipped around grabbed the offending lecher, turning him to face her.
"PERVERT!!!"
"Uh..." Ataru didn't get anything else out before he began he experienced perhaps the most painful slap he had every felt. This was followed shortly by what had been named in Nerima the LEO kick as he went through the roof, rocketing past Washu, Urd's and Kasuga's drinks, which had just started on the way back down, still moving smoothly.
Kasuga idly wondered if Ranko was a telekinetic of some kind as the tray seemed to float into her hands. Urd and Washu were blinking, trying to figure out how many times Ranma's hand had connected in the space of that "one" slap.
The redhead arrived, grumbling to herself and ignoring the standing ovation from the other women that were in the restaurant.
I don't believe I actually slapped him, that's so girlish, Ranma was thinking. "Here're your drinks guys."
"Hey! Where's that delivery..." Ataru landed back in the restaurant coming through the same hole he had made going out. "Morobishi! You have deliveries to make...this is NOT your break time!"
"Uh, Ranko," Urd said cautiously. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Oh yes, I just love being groped by ever pervert in the restaurant," Ranko answered sarcastically. "I think they're misreading the grab and go sign myself, but, oh well." Kasuga wisely decided not to move a muscle while Ranko deposited his drink. "I can't believe I said that, its so...grr... anyway, you're food will be out in bit, but I got to go. Nuku Nuku is out 'playing' with her 'friends' so I'm the only waitress here."
"Yep, I was right," Urd said as soon as Ranma was out of earshot.
"Oh definitely," Washu said.
"What are you talking about?" Kasuga asked nervously, already guessing the answer.
"You don't really want to know, hon," Urd said.
"That's what I thought." Kasuga swallowed and started drinking.
"She still seems set on acting like a boy though," Washu said tapping her fingers. This, if anything, frightened Kasuga even more. He was well aware of the pair's matchmaking-plans for Ranko.
"Well, let's wait for her break, maybe it will take her mind off things," Urd suggested with a shrug. Kasuga suddenly had an incredible desire to run as soon as he finished his food. Even Ranma was impressed with how fast he ate after returning with the food.
"I guess he had to be somewhere," Ranma muttered to herself as Urd watched her temporary housemate and co-worker scamper off with some mild confusion.
"HIII!!!" Nuku turned to look at Ataru peeling himself off a wall, and then glanced at a few other male restaunteers that sported slap marks, black eyes, and were often near glaring girls and women. "Ranko-san has been playing without Nuku Nuku?"
"Tendo-san," the manager called out. "You can take your break now, Nuku-Nuku, are there going to be any more interruptions?" He smiled as the pink-haired android shook her head cheerfully.
"Finally," Ranma sighed, and then felt a hand on her shoulder. He turned around to see who it was. His thoughts began running through the check list. Female, good, not a fiancee, good, not Akane....no comment....Urd...possibly bad.
"Since you're on your break Ranko-chan," Urd suggested quietly. "Why not spend it with us girls, it might take your mind off...certain matters?"
"Uh...sure," Ranma said slowly. Before he could say anything else he was sandwiched between Urd and Washu at their table. Neither noticed the girl's skin color was suddenly matching her hair color.
"You know, Ranko," Washu began. "We're moderately concerned about you."
"I'm just having a bad day, okay!" Ranma snapped, no longer embarrassed. "Besides those jerks deserved it!" There was a scattering of nods among the woman at that shout. At least between Urd and Washu he couldn't be groped by any of the jerks that seemed to have swarmed to the restaurant today. Perverts, all of them perverts.
"That is not what we're worried about, dear," Urd said. Ranma recognized this speech, at least he thought he did. This was his mother's "how are you going to get a boyfriend speech". The one she seemed intent on giving everytime "Ranko" made an appearance. "We're worried about your social life. If you keep acting like one of the guys, and if you do that they'll never ask you out."
I was right, Ranma sighed.
"You can be a fighter and still be feminine," Washu added. "I could introduce you to my daughter if you want proof."
"And what makes you think I WANT a boyfriend," Ranma asked wearily, adding this to his list of "bad" day things. Ranma glanced around for anyone giving her funny looks. He noticed Urd and Washu trading looks and a young woman in the booth next to them looking at him appreciatively. "I...already have...someone I like. Okay!" he said firmly in a restrained, hissing voice, twitching as he said it. He noticed the woman that had been eyeing him sigh in slight dismay and return to her meal.
"Oh...that's different then," Urd said, the goddess relaxed her stance away from interrogation mode for a moment.
"Certainly," Washu agreed.
Dodged that bullet.
"So tell us about..him." Urd smirked. "What's he like?"
"Or do we have to pump your 'cousin' for information," Washu asked.
Oh, what the hell, its not going to get back to Akane, Ranma thought. They're talking to Ranko, not Ranma. "Well...they have great fighting spirit, and certainly nice sometimes, totally clueless in the kitchen..." Ranma's eyes got a little dreamy as she recalled Akane 's attempts at cooking. Then she blinked. I'm missing AKANE'S cooking!! I'm going insane!!
"Is that all there is?" Urd asked.
"Hey, look, my break is almo..." Ranma's escape attempt was cut off by some red ribbon or something that pulled her back down into his seat. She glared at the mad scientist next to her. "Washu-chan...LET ME GO!!!"
"You have ten minutes left, Ranko," Washu reminded her. "Get back to talking."
"Grrr..."
"We could explain to everybody why you are so touchy today," Urd whispered. She was rewarded with a low growl before the redhead shrugged her shoulders and finally gave in.
"Okay, okay," Ranma reluctantly continued. "Anyway, my..significant other, is a martial artist, could be great eventually, can already do things with mallets you wouldn't believe..." That comment tugged at a memory in Urd's mind, but she couldn't quite remember what it was.
Oh, that's right, Ranma's fiancee asked me to mallet him and tell him Ranma no baka, Urd thought. That's...hmmm...interesting love triangle here.
"I'm much better though, and I think it makes them angry. They're always calling me a pervert or hitting me, I don't dodge because it would just humiliate h..them, and they keep accusing me of....cheating. But they never take the time the to listen to me! I'm not the best listener, but I TRY!"
"Men always are dense," Washu commented. Urd snickered while Ranma suddenly looked uncomfortable.
"Uhh...right," Ranma said. "Look I'd like to get back to work now, no offense, but when I'm working I can at least work in some training."
"You and your cousin," Urd shook her head. "You grew up together didn't you."
"You...could say that," Ranma nodded. "Can you let me go now, or do I have to get out myself?"
"As if you..." Washu blinked as the ribbons flexed out Ranma leaped out of them. "Hmm, I'll have to improve the response time on the retraction." Washu watched as the ribbons contracted back into their box.
Ranma relaxed as he saw Washu and Urd leave after finishing their food. That left only the perverts to deal with.
"Psst, if it doesn't work out call me," Ranma again flushed bright red as the young woman from earlier slipped him a note. Looking down he saw a phone number.
"Err..thanks," Ranma swallowed. "But I'm not interested."
"Of course not," she slurred the phrase suggestively.
Perverts and les...les... Ranma shook his head clear as he moved away nervously, the woman smirking at him. While technically Ranma's female form was a lesbian, getting her to admit that was amazingly difficult. Especially considering that she had no problem with saying how much she disliked the idea of being with a guy.
Fortunately for Ranma, the rumor of her sexual preference was an isolated event. At least with the men he could vent the frustration out.
Shift's almost over, shift's almost over shift's almost over. Ranma was distracted enough that she didn't notice where she was going, until she bumped into something...or rather someone.
"Once again its the pig-tailed beauty," a voice spoke up.
"Excu..." Ranma cut off from his polite apology as he suddenly had the misfortune to be kissed by Mikado Sanzenin again. AGAIN!!! HE DID IT AGAIN!!!
The last time this had happened Mikado had been on the ice, and Ranma had been more or less composed before it happened. If Akane hadn't been there Ranma probably would have settled for merely beating him up rather than outright humiliating him. As for this situation. Well, Mikado was almost completely out of luck.
Ataru nodded at the young man's bravery as Ranma's battle aura began to overwhelm the lights. Mikado never saw what hit him, and according to reports didn't wake up for another two weeks afterwards, muttering about "such passion she has that it overwhelmed me."
Mamoru was the first unfortunate housemate to encounter Ranma, in male form, though still far more irritated than his normally high patience level would allow. Not to mention that he had spent quite a long time in girl form and his blood chemistry was a long way from normal for a male at any point. This does not include Ataru, who had been part of the cause of Ranma's current mental state.
The almost never present Tux-Boy bumped into the irritated martial artist while on his way out to a senshi meeting.
"Sor..." Mamoru cut off as he Ranma pushed him back into the house shoving him back
"Don't touch me! What's the matter, you're little harem not enough?" Ranma snapped. "Tux-Boy the pedophile wants to aim at someone who's actually nearly an adult? Pervert! All of you! Perverts!" Ranma continued on past the stunned Mamoru and up the stairs toward his room.
"What was that?" Washu asked as she came into the hallway.
"Ranma seems to be upset about something," Mamoru said pointing up the stairs.
"Oh kay," Washu said, glancing up the stairs. "Well, I'm getting back to work."
It was a couple hours later when Urd and Kasuga came home through the TV, Kasuga looking normal for after work. This meant he looked close to being shell shocked. He wandered into the kitchen and felt suddenly very nervous. There was a miasma of anger towards the male gender hanging about the room, strangely enough the only one he saw was Ranma getting some soda out of the fridge.
"I hope this isn't another of Washu's..." Ranma paused as someone tapped on his shoulder. Kasuga had brief period of warning as Ranma identified the person that had touched him as male before he was thrown across the room. "ACK!! Don't do that! Next time you might get hurt."
A dazed Kasuga stood up trying to process the "might" portion of that comment. He had no doubt that Ranma was the source of all the telepathically muttered "perverts. all of them perverts," but that made no sense. He briefly considered a simple telepathic probe, but after a day of his boss's "easy assignments" he wasn't willing to get into ANOTHER life threatening situation so soon.
"Hey, Ranma," Urd said as she walked into the kitchen. "Hey, your fiancee called. Left you a message." Ranma had stiffened at the mention of fiancee.
"What was the message?" he asked. He blinked as Urd smacked him with a plushie mallet that had materialized some how.
"Ranma no baka," Urd said deadpan. Ranma's face actually brightened.
"Oh..." Ranma looked up at the television and with a smirk gave his standard retort. "Jeez, Akane, do you have to be such a tomboy? What are you going to do next, try to cook?" He sighed and looked back into the fridge. "I needed that."
"Umm, Kasuga, why are you why over there?" Urd asked. "And why is there a hole shaped like you in the wall?" Kasuga pointed at Ranma. Urd remembered the other thing Akane had called about. Something about a monthly condition that sometimes made Ranma jittery, moody, irritable. Several things started clicking in the goddess's mind. She suddenly started laughing.
"AHHH!!!! How'd Kodachi find me!?" Ranma was out of the room in a flash. A few moments later a muffled. "URD!!" Drifted from further in the house.
"Ranma's....jumpy today," Kasuga said quietly.
"He's had a bad day," Urd snickered.
"Are you certain about this?" Washu asked.
"Yeah, but let's not talk about it when we get out of your lab, here," Urd said. "I doubt Ranma would appreciate this getting out."
"So how do we test this theory?"
Urd smiled.
"I think your cousin has a thing for your fiancee," Urd said idly in front of the TV. She and Washu noted the flinch and nodded knowingly.
"I never..." Ranma swallowed and glanced at the "hidden" camera. "What makes you think she likes Akane?"
"Just things she said," Urd shrugged.
"I agree, now that I think about it," Washu said. "Though I didn't catch on to it right away."
"So do you like share her with your cou..." Ataru didn't get to finish as the hand he had placed on Ranma's shoulder was grabbed and the lecher was thrown to the ground.
"PERVERT!! I TOLD YOU STOP SQUEEZING ME!!"
"What are you?" Ataru looked up and screamed.
"Akane," Kasumi turned away from the screen to her sister.
"Yeah?"
"Have you been training Ranma?"
"Uhh...."
"That first time Shampoo see man use mallet trick."
Everbody seemed to have forgotten the Akane/Ranma interplay in the face of the sight of Ranma using the interdimensional mallet.
"Okay, I believe it," Washu said to Urd. "Now we just need to figure out how he does it." The two smiled mischievously.
"I JUST MALLETED SOME GUY!!!" Ranma shouted. "AAAHHHH!!!" And the pig-tailed martial artist ran up into his room.
"Oh good," Kasumi remarked. "By the time he starts panicking about becoming a girl its almost over."
"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," Nabiki said dazedly.
"HEY!! He complained about my cooking again!" Akane fumed.