Would I Lie To You?

The Slayers walked wearily into the tavern and took the first empty table they found.

"All that work and still no closer than ever to finding the Claire Bible..."

"...or my cure."

"...or even a good skipping stone." Everybody stared at Gourry for a moment.

"Miss Lina?" Lina looked over to the princess and yawned.

"What is it, Amelia?" she sounded irritated.

"What's that?" she pointed to what looked like a series of large black boxes connected by small black cords that sat on the wooden stage.

"Hell, if I know Amelia," Lina said.

"Never seen anything like it before," Gourry agreed.

"It's made out of an odd looking material too," Zel noted, lookinng at the odd gleam of the hard black substance.

"Now that you mention it," Lina said. "This entire tavern feels odd, magically speaking anyway." Amelia climbed up onto the stage and began looking at the items in question. Lina turned to the innkeeper, "Hey, you! What's that thing up there?"

"I don't know, this strange white-haired person set it up. Seemed a nice enough chap, a bit odd though."

"It's not a good idea to mess around with that Amelia," Zelgadis noted.

"Are you sure it wasn't purple hair," Gourry asked, he climbed up to investigate the machine with Amelia. "We haven't seen Xellos for a while."

Zelgadis experimentally cast a simple spell, just summon some light forth. He found himself holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Freehold," Zel said.

"Freehold? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure its a freehold," The flowers released a spray of water into his face. "A silly freehold," he finished irritably. "Leave?"

"Leave," Lina said. "Come on Amelia, Gourry, we're leaving."

"Okay, Miss Lina," Amelia stepped down and started walking to the door with the other two. "I wonder what that thing is for.

"Hey, part of this thing has some glowing words on it," Gourry shouted.

"Come on Gourry, we have to leave before we're..."

"Power? What kind of power?" He pushed the button and the curved glass face of the glass flared into life. A white and grey haired cat-person popped half out of the screen knocking Gourry back in a surprise leap.

"Blondes, Stones, and Sorceresses, LEND ME YOUR EARS!!"

"....stuck?" Zelgadis asked resignedly.

"Tonight at the Fuzzy Quarterstaff," the cat person stepped out of the TV completely, gripping a small black rod tipped with a cloth ball.

"Its the Snoring Dragon!!" the innkeep yelled.

"Oh no," Amelia groaned. "Not him again."

"Right, for the first time here at the Impotent Warthog," the Innkeeper shouted angrily and charged the stage only to be suddenly encased in fuzzy wood. "For no other reason than because I'm bored, its Karaoke night!!!"

"Hey, he's not so bad," Lina noted. "It could be Xellos."

"You don't know what's it like to be chased around by an unrelenting fan-person," Amelia countered, Zelgadis arched an eyebrow at her. "What?" Then things got worse and Xellos appeared on stage.

"Of course, his magic would work here," Zelgadis grumbled.

"Mazoku are a kind of fae, I think," Lina said. "At least related anyway."

"Oh you wouldn't be having a party without me, would you?" Xellos asked the cat-person. "Eh, Hyperbole?" Gourry was standing up again and looking at them strangely, he looked to the other three Slayers, who gave him various levels of glares, and he shrugged.

"Your invitation must have been lost in the mail." Hyperbole said hostilely. Then he turned back to his audience. "And now the first song of the evening I think should be something unassuming and dull. What do you think?"

"Okay, I'm out of here," Amelia said, rushing out the door.

"Wait, Amelia," Lina shouted as the inn door closed and Amelia walked out from behind the stage right between Xellos and Hyperbole.

"Let me out of this box!!" the innkeeper yelled. Hyperbole virtually glomped Amelia and started singing, while the Slayers crew tried to walk through a suddenly Labyrinth like terrain.

"Would I lie to you?" He started dancing around her rather silly. Xellos glared at him, and Amelia looked like she was going to die.

"Would I lie to you honey?"

"Of course you would!" Amelia shouted. Gourry moved forward and found himself encased in a scrathing post style box like the innkeeper, at least his head was uncovered.

"Now would I say something that wasn't true?"
"I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?"

"My friends - know what's in store.
I won't be here anymore.
I've packed my bags...."

Hyperbole's singing was interrupted as he suddenly vanished and Xellos grabbed the microphone and started singing the song, reading off the screen.

"I've cleaned the floor.
Watch me walkin'.
Walkin' out the door."

(Believe me - I'll make it make it)

"Would I lie to you?

"Why me?" Amelia shouted as she ran off one side of the stage and appeared out of another into Xellos who started waltzing with her while still singing the song.

Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?"

"Tell you straight - no intervention.
To your face - no deception.
You're the biggest fake."

"I AM A WHAT!!?!!" Amelia shouted angrily.

"Hey Xellos!" Lina shouted. "Look down!" The mazoku did in time for the saw to finish cutting the circle. He full through a lightless hole as Hyperbole pulled himself up, set the saw aside and nailed the hole closed with the planks.

"Now where was I?" he asked cheerfully.

"This isn't much better Lina!!" Amelia shouted as Hyprebole started to tango with her.

"That much is true.
Had all I can take.
Now I'm leaving you."

(Believe me - I'll make it make it)

"Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?"

"Miss Lina!!"

"Let us out of here!!" Gourry, the innkeeper, and about half the other costumers shouted.

"Why don't we try going away from the stage," Zelgadis suggested.

"That's actually a good idea." Lina said.

"I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?"

At this Xellos appeared again and glared at Hyperbole, who glared back. They both started fighting over the microphone, with Amelia caught between them, singing the last repeat of the chorus simultaneously.

"Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?"

The machine cut off abruptly.

"Why'd you turn it off?" Xellos and Hyperbole shouted at each other.

"Hey, where'd they come from?" both heard Lina ask.

"'They?'" Hyperbole asked.

"What 'they?'" Xellos finished. Amelia managed to disengage herself from between them and sneak away as both mazoku and pooka turned around and were suddenly terror stricken.

Standing next to the karaoke machine on either side were Firia and Zimi. Neither the dragon nor the mazoku looked particularly pleased. The mace in Firia's hand, and the sword in Zimi's spoke volumes. Zimi had her finger on the power button that had caused all the problem.

"Uh...hi Zimi," Hyperbole laughed nervously. "What's up?"

"Umm, what are you doing here Firia?" The slayers gathered together, chopping Gourry out of the scratching post trap.

"What's up!!" Zimi shouted. "Did you forget something today?"

"Umm, pranking the NRA on some Earth or another?"


"And you," Firia added her voice. "What are you doing her chasing around girls when you're supposed to be helping me watch Valgarv. I'll probably spend a fortune on the poor babysitter!!"

The Slayers exited the now reality stable tavern before the fun really got started.