The day had been busy and quite a hectic one, since apparently there was some huge festival that the city was preparing for, so new cookery was needed for decoration and for preparation. Filia had been busy running the cashier and tending to guests, which left the teashop in a less organized manner, which Xelloss took upon himself to aid. Filia had been quite surprised that he'd immediately begun helping out by serving, and even cooking the tea using the prepared tea bags and grains she'd prepared. And the strange part was, the customers seemed to take real well to him, being quite sociable and laughing to his occasional jokes. She would occasionally look up to see him exchanging pleasantries, and smiling nodding with the customers. She shook her head in bewilderment at that from time to time, and continued on in her work with an amazed expression. At the end of the day, the store was emptying, and he went ahead and closed the door, turning the sign over and locking it. She finished counting the money in the register, and sighed leaning back against the bookshelves behind her in exhaustion.
Xelloss was wiping his hands on a cloth, and walked calmly towards her looking tired. "Is it always this busy?" He leaned against the counter with a sigh.
She smiled. "Usually, no. But it wasn't that bad really....." She yawned and stretched, when a loud growling sound was heard. She blinked, then stared at Xelloss, who was looking slightly embarrassed. "You.." She said slowly. "Haven't you eaten anything?"
He shook his head, looking a bit red. "Um, no.... not since...uh... the tea you made me...."
She suddenly realized that he wasn't used to determining whether he was hungry or not. She shook her head. "Ok, I'll cook dinner, would you care for Val while you're at it?"
He nodded and headed upstairs, and she set about cooking something quick and easy for them. She could occasionally hear giggling and squealing from upstairs, and she would shake her head in amusement from time to time. Then the pair came downstairs, Val riding piggy-back on Xelloss, looking like he was having the time of his life. Xelloss looked equally as happy, a smile on his face, and his eyes open and twinkling up at the toddler mischievously. She couldn't help but hide a smile at the two as she set their dinners before the table. "Honestly...."
The flames were flickering low in the fireplace as the two sat there before the hearth, hot drinks in their hands, and warmth at their feet. Xelloss was staring absently at the flames, Val curled up on his lap happily sleeping. Filia glanced at him from time to time, seeing that he was drawn deep in thought. Finally, she broke the ice. "What are you thinking about?"
He glanced over at her, then shook his head. "Lots of things."
She monitored his face carefully, and saw that he was hiding emotions again. "Such as?"
"Why is the sky blue? Why do we designate items to be delivered by ship cargo instead of shipment?"
She grimaced. "Enough Xelloss....."
His eyes slid shut slowly, and she saw a painful expression cross his face again. "About what's happened.... About who and what I am.... And the consequences thereof."
She nodded, having figured as much. She didn't want to bring out tender subjects, but.... "Xelloss.... I know how difficult these 'new' old memories must be....." She glanced at the fire absently. "But.... Maybe if you told me a bit, it would help?"
"You really don't want to know Filia.... Trust me..." His voice sounded heavy and tired, and she glanced over to see his hand to his head in exhaustion. "It would make things worse."
She frowned, but didn't push the issue much. However, she wasn't about to give up either. "It must be hard for you, being mortal again after being mazoku for so long."
"Yes.." He mused. "It is in a way, but then I spent so much time among humans that I don't have trouble with the social customs, so it's just my own adjusting I have to learn."
She nodded slightly. "Xelloss..." she paused. "What was your name? It wasn't Xelloss before, was it?" She glanced at him curiously.
He shook his head. "No, that was the name my mistress gave me. I actually.... Don't remember my own name..." He said softly, a tinge of regret there. "It's been so long.... And the memories were... cooped up there...."
She nodded and watched him carefully. He was telling the truth.... But there was hidden emotions, and half truths embedded there. "What was your life like? Before, I mean."
He didn't answer that for a long time. She was afraid that she'd overstepped her boundaries, but then he sighed and spoke slowly. "Not pretty Filia...... Not at all."
She watched him for a long time after that. His hand was stroking Val's head slowly, rhythmically, smoothing the child's hair back. Her thoughts then drifted back to the book, and suddenly, she began to form an idea in her head. "Xelloss...." She said quietly. "This has to do with what we saw in the book..... doesn't it?" He looked up at her, with haunted eyes, then nodded slowly once. She took a deep breath, her heart beginning to beat faster in worry as she formulated an idea. "And..... that would mean that then you...."
".... Yes..... I am the person sketched in that book.." He replied quietly, almost so quiet she couldn't hear him.
She took a long shaky breath as she watched him stroking Val's head. "Then....that would also mean that you are....." He didn't answer, nor did he look up. But the answer was there as his hand paused on Val's head. They didn't need him to answer it... they both knew. Filia leaned back slowly, the truth sinking in hard. The memories... of course..... no wonder he didn't want to discuss it. "God Xelloss..... I'm sorry...." She whispered in near awe. "I never would have thought....."
"Don't worry, neither did I." He replied softly. "It came as a shock..."
She shook slightly as all the information converged, and the reality hit her. He must have subconsciously known.... That would make sense and justify his actions during the Kouma War...... all that murder, it was revenge.... Though he may not have known it at the time, the Greater Beastmaster must have. She took a shaky breath in shock as the truth ran through her mind. Xelloss was staring down, not speaking, and she realized that he was trying not to....cry.
Suddenly everything inside of her broke at once, and she found herself embracing him tightly, much to his surprise, tears of her own beginning to run down her cheeks. "Don't.... hold it in like that.... You shouldn't have to...." She felt his hand start to take her arm to separate them, but she held tighter. "Let it out for once..... No one should hold something back for my sake...."
He seemed surprised..... and she could feel his emotions building up inside of him, but she still shook and clung to him, feeling guilt wash over her. Why should she be guilty for him.... But she was..... Then, she felt something wet and warm fall on her hand, and she glanced up to see his eyes closed, and fresh tears streaming down his cheeks silently. She smiled slightly. How odd... Xelloss crying..... But she reached a hand up to his cheek and brushed a tear away, and his eyes opened to meet hers, and she saw the scars inside of him..... the emotional turmoil and pain that he was hiding.... She wondered how he could hold it all in so much. It was enough to drive someone insane...... yet she had a feeling that there was something keeping him from falling that far..... and there was.....
He then reached out and held her tighter to him, and she could feel his grief and tears increase, until he was shaking and not holding back any further......... they stayed that way, for hours...... until she became aware that he'd finally stopped, and she glanced over to hear deep breaths coming from him.... She sighed softly to herself. He'd finally fallen asleep from exhaustion...... Not that she could blame him.
She gently separated herself from him then, and picked him up carefully, and carried him upstairs, laying him in the bed with Val in his arms still. She watched the two with a quiet smile and sad eyes. "It seems my charge has increased to two ancients now."