"Five Years Later, The People Of Zephilia Packed Into The Capital Square - For The Grape Festival Was Fast Approaching And The Great Prince Val Was To Announce His Fiancée."
"Val, as in Valgarv, a prince?" Phibrizo queried, praying that he heard wrong, due to his fever.
"Yup. And Rezo And Zelas As The King And Queen." L-sama genkied.
"....that's just sick."
"I Know."
The crowd gave a collective murmur of respect as their heir apparent made his way to the balcony. His impressive form was enough to suck the breath out of young girls and old women alike - and any appearance by the young prince often sent the crowd into a wild uproar. He was followed by his Not-Physically-Aging-But-Mentally-Corroded parents, King Rezo and Queen Zelas.
Zephila itself had once been a rogue and undeveloped nation. But thanks to expansive wine groves and brute magic force, the once backwater country had become a world power. All of its citizens knew magic on at least on a basic level, and by tradition, the royal family was kept pure with the strongest of mages.
"Good citizens," Val started, ignoring the swooning peasant girls. "Through our Magic as a people, Zephilia has grown strong. To maintain this strength, it is my solemn duty as Prince to keep the Royal bloodline strong. But as a man, it is my duty to marry for love. And now, fated by the gods, I can fulfill both duties. Your new Princess, once a commoner like yourselves - the Sorceress, Lina!"
Trumpets blared, and the crowd cleared a path as the Sorceress Bride walked out of the right gate's door and directly through the people. As she mingled through the commoners in her finery, the girl was making a symbolic promise to never forget her origins and to be a fair queen.
Lina's once bright eyes were as flat as glass. At one time, she would have been exalted to see people on their knees and giving the Sorcery Genius her due respect!
But... She slowly looked up at Val's smirking face.
It just wasn't there anymore.
"Even Though The Law Of The Land Gave Prince Val The Right To Choose His Bride, Lina Did Not Love Him."
"How sad T_T;" Phibby muttered, blowing his nose.
"Do You Have A Heart?" She asked, angry that he interrupted Her again.
"No. You created me to be cruel."
"Oh Yeah... Ahem 'Despite Val's Assurance That Lina Would Grow To Love Him," L-sama read "Lina Only Found Joy in Practicing Magic. However, Monthly Experiences Seemed To Often Render SUch Feats Impossible - "
"Why is that?" Phibrizo questioned, blinking innocently.
"..............................I'll tell you when you're older.
The Hellmaster scowled - he was the oldest of the Dark Lords and he couldn't know?! Whining was considered, but considering that he would be trying the Creator of All's patience, he wisely kept his mouth shut and allowed the Diety to continue Her story.
"During These Periods," L-sama stressed.
Blank green eyes just waited for her to go on.
Disappointed that Phibby had missed Her hint, the Lord of Nightmares reassumed Her tale. "During These Periods, Lina Took Long Rides Into The Country Side."
Lina swiftly rode through Zephilia's forests, taking no notice of its unequaled beauty. Irritated, she tugged at the collar of her dress - it was quite difficult to ride in finery.
However, out of place objects - or rather people caught her eye and she slowed her mare down to a halt. The strange trio was really quite a sight - a girl with short black hair wearing far too little, a handsome blond, and... a fishman.
Lina eyed them warily as the girl stepped forward and bowed - showing off too much chest. A vein popped in Lina's forehead as she was quite consciously envious of the other girl's assets. "Pardon me, m'lady," the stranger started, orange eyes gleaming. "We are but four weary circus performers - "
"I'd believe it," Lina snorted. "But there are three of you."
"....my bad," the girl laughed, embarrassed. "Anyway, uh, are there any villages around so that we might rest?"
"No," the sorceress answered, bored and ready to leave.
"Nyahaha! Then no one will be around to hear you scream! Gourry! Noonsa!"
"Hey! Get away from me!" the red head yelled, kicking the blond man in the face. Unfortunately, the lack of balance sent her off of her saddle and...
into the arms of a fishman.
"Leggo! Leggo! LET-MWPH!!?" And thus, Lina's shrieks were cut off by the infamous Fishy-Kiss-Of-Death. But happily, for her sake, Noonsa made is a simple, Fishy-Kiss-Of-Unconsciousness. Wasn't that nice? ^_^
Eris smirked to herself as she finished planting the torn and muddied crest on Lina's horse. "Git!" she yelled, sending the mare galloping back into the woods.
"Uh, what was that you put on the horse?" Gourry questioned, loading the final supplies onto the boat.
"The Crest of Elmekia," Eris answered, hopping onto the vessel.
"Who's Elmekia? And won't he be mad that you took his clothes?"
"Bah!" she shrieked, face faulting onto the deck. "Elmekia is a country, you fool!" Eris yelled, tugging at her hair in anger.
"It is?"
"The sword enemy of Zephilia!"
"Who's Zephilia? She sounds cute."
"ZEPHILIA IS A COUNTRY TOO!"
"Ohhh.... where is it?"
A vein popped out onto her head, but she persevered to explain anyway. "That," she pointed to the soil on which they were docked. "Is Zephilia. And that," she pointed across the sea, "is Elmekia. When the prince finds the Elmekian crest, he'll think soldiers kidnapped his love. Upon finding her dead on Elmekia's shore, his worries will be confirmed!"
"You never said anything about killing her!" Noonsa yelled, drawing up the sail.
"It's none of your concern!" she countered.
"But I don't think it's right to kill an innocent girl."
"Excuse me?"
"I don't think it's right either," Gourry quipped.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did the word 'think' escape either of your lips?" Eris snapped. She first turned her rage on Gourry. "When I first found you, you brainless oaf, you were too drunk to buy ale! And YOU!" she screeched at Noonsa. "You're a FISHMAN who left his tribe in order to make his fortune above the surface. Do you want to go home a failure?"
"No," Noonsa sniffled.
"Good! I hired the two of you to help me start a war - a very prestigious job, I assure you. Besides, this is the perfect revenge on King Rezo for choosing that blonde floozy over me and letting his son marry her, ruining my chances of ever getting into the king's pants!"
Needless to say, her employees just stared at her, dumbfounded.
Remembering she forgot to take the 'Stop Raving Aloud' wonder pill, she snapped: "Get back to work!" and stomped off as they set sail.
"Don't worry about her, man," Gourry soothed, slapping the fishman on the back.
Noonsa nodded, and did what he always did to keep sadness at bay. He preformed a graceful pirouette.
"Hey! You're really good at that!"
"Think so?" Noonsa smiled, eyes shining. Someday, someday, he would be the greatest ballerina known to man!
"Sure!"
"Cut that out!" Eris commanded.
Hurt by her harsh tone, Noonsa broke down into a lovely rendition of the Waltz of the Sugar Plum Fairy. With Gourry clapping in the background, it was so easy to stay in rhythm!
"I said CUT IT OUT!"
Hours, later, long after sunset, the four of them relaxed on deck, Lina only keeping quiet out of fear of Noonsa smooching her again.
"Will you stop that? It's unnerving," Eris muttered to Gourry, whom kept looking over his shoulder and into the sea.
"I think we're being followed," the young man murmured.
"Inconceivable. No one from either country knows what we've done."
"But there's a ship out there."
"Inconceivable!" Eris cried, rushing up to where Gourry sat. Sure enough, there sailed a small ship in the distance. "Um... it's probably just a fisherman out for a leisure outing... at night.....in Naga infested waters.
And of course, at this time, Lina took the opportunity to hurl herself into the water, fully prepared to swim to one shore or to the other.
"Go after her!" Eris shrieked.
"I don't swim!" Gourry panicked.
"And I just ate!" Noonsa wailed.
Sweatdrop "Veer left!" she commanded.
"Left?" Gourry called at the wheel.
"Right!"
"Right it is!" And lo, the ship did turn to the right.
"NO, NO, NO!! LEFT! LEFT!!"
"But you said - "
"LEFT!!" she screeched, smacking him upside the head.
Lina shook her head and ignored the circus behind her, concentrating solely on getting to shore.
But that was before something brushed her leg.
The sorceress came to a frightened halt in the water, looking around desperately as laughter filled her ears. "O-HOHOHOHO!"
"Hear that, princess?" Eris called.
"Hear what?" Lina countered arrogantly.
"OH-HOHOHOHO!!"
"Uh, maybe," she squeaked, still treading water.
"That is the laughter of the sea serpents - Naga," Eris explained, her orange eyes glowing with malignity. "They laugh before they strike and devour their victims. Swim back now and no harm will come to you, I doubt the will give you such an offer!"
"OHOHOHOHOOOO!"
"AAH!" Lina threw her arms up in a meager defense as the high pitched and overly proportioned serpent rushed towards her person.
"...She Doesn't Get Eaten, You Know," L-sama laughed, wiping the expectant smile off of Phibrizo's face.
"Mother!" he cried, crestfallen. "Did you have to take away the only possible joy I have in this story?"
"Yes."
"Ah-choo!"
"Heh. Punishment Is A Bitch, My Dear. Now, Where Were We...
"AAH!" Lina threw her arms up in a meager defense as the high pitched and overly proportioned serpent rushed towards her person.
"OH-HOHOHOHO!" yelled a male voice.
"HoHOHO?" the Naga questioned, pausing in her attack.
"OO~HO HO!"
"HOOOHO!"
While Noonsa and Naga engaged themselves into meaningful conversation (which incidentally gained Noonsa the serpent's number), Gourry pulled the shivering girl back onto the ship.
"That was real bright!" Eris snapped, tying Lina's wrists together to ensure no future breakaways and just incase that time of the month was soon over. "You think you're brave or something?"
Lina shook her head so that she could look her captor in the eye, but her bands remained plastered to her face. She was seeing red, literally. Contenting herself with the fact that if she had her magic, the trio wouldn't stand a chance, she merely shrugged in response.
They next morning, they all arouse bright an early to Gourry's observation that.... "Hey Eris! That ship's still there!"
"Inconceivable!" she gasped, running to the ledge. Sure enough, there it was, closer than the night before.
"It's almost on top of us!" Noonsa panicked.
"Well, he's too late, see!?!" she cried, pointing dramatically. "Look - it's the Cliffs of Sudden and Unexplainable Mental Illness!"
"That's a silly name for a cliff, Mother," Phibrizo observed, still Disappointed that Lina hadn't been killed yet.
"Yeah, And Phibrizo's A Real Winner."
"Mother!"
L-sama just smirked to Herself and continued reading.