This is a songfic for my fic Wild West Slayers. You don't need to have read my fic to understand it. Enjoy!!
I'm gonna drink my whiskey
I'm gonna have my man
Lina sits at a bar stool in some unnamed bar. "Hey pretty". A drunken man walks up to her wobbly. "How about you and me..". Lina picked up a beer bottle and busted it over his head.
I know you got nothing to say
"Wow miss I think you killed him," the bartender said. The drunk laid on the ground unmoving. Lina sweatdropped.
I'm gonna have my man
I'm gonna steal their hearts
and save them for another day
"What's a flat chested little girl like you want"? The bandits stared at Lina. Flat chested!! They'll pay...I'll rip out there hearts and feed them to my horse! Why do guys always say that?? I'm just petite for my age!! I have a perfect propria ted body!! Lina glared at the bandits. Oh they will pay.
Ain't gonna hang my hat
Ain't gonna take off my boots
Lina spit out a mouth full of blood. "I want this horse". The wild horse in question bucked and fought. Lina gathered up her courage and stood up. I will tame this horse.
Ain't nothing gonna stop me in my pursuit
Lina led her new horse by the reins proudly. Her hair was a mess and she was covered with bruises and scratches. But she didn't care. .. Well she cared a little....OK she cared a lot, but she still had her horse.
My stage, time to rehearse
Gonna see all the wonders of the universe
Lina hefted her massive bag of money and skipped down a dusty southern trail.
(Chorus)
Pack my bags and mount my horse
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Lina packed up her bag and jumped out of her window. She had to get away. Her sister would kill her when she finds out she accidentally blew up the family's general store. " I won't come back until I'm famous! A living legend!"
Spend all my money on absolutely nothing
Don't need no man to pay for anything
A young waiter rushed into the kitchen. "Sir she's inhuman!! We're running out of food" He pointed out the kitchen door where a young redheaded girl was stuffing food into her mouth. Stacks and stacks of plates surrounded her. "She's already on her 15 helping! Sir what are we going to do"??! The head cook fell to his knees. "Were' ruined!" He raised his fist in the air dramatically. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!". Off in the dining room. "Wow yummmmmmmm this food is del ious!!". The cook sobbed some more.
Ain't got no shame, nobody knows my name
"Look its Lina Inverse!! The terror of the prairie!! She who eats hyenas for breakfast and makes war hardened Apaches running screaming for their mommies!!"
"Err...", lina said as she looked around the store. "Do you guys have leather patch kits"??
"Um..sure" ... The patrons of the shop facefaulted.
I'm gonna ride on into the next town
Lina rode, the wind whipping her hair back. Her horses hooves made steady beats in the dry earth. She wouldn't trade this for anything. Well....maybe lots and lots of money.
Pecos Bill, couldn't hang for long
A female legend with a song
I'll probably change my mind
it happens every time
Lina held a fireball mealy in front of the bandit. "You know I've been having a really bad day". She threw the fireball smiling when it impacted. The fire made pretty colors as it burned the bandits and all their belongings. Well the belonging that weren't worth anything. One bandit that had escaped the onslaught stood up. "Man moodswing much"?
Lina turned around. "Hey!"
I'm gonna hunt the hunter, gonna serve 'em well done
"Ahhhh.. I love the smell of roasted bandit in the afternoon." Lina glared at the roasted bandit. "Moodswing my ass". She look at her loot and smiled. She trotted off on her horse completely forgetting her anger.
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run
Up goes the moon, down goes the sun
Cook my dinner while I shine my gun
A young redhead sits by a fire. The full moon cast ghastly shadows on the girls face. A campfire roared nearby. The prairie was serenely silent. The girl sat and shined her gun. Off in the distance a cyote howled.
So here's the way I'm gonna break it down
Speak my mind anytime 'cause I got the master plan
A bar room brawl ensued. Lina ducked an incoming punch and parried with a kick. "Who knew this guy was so sensitive concerning his mother??" Taking advantage on the situation Lina picked up the chips that were left when the fight started. She went to cash them in. It wasn't like she planned it that way. Certainly not. Would she do a thing like that?
Power in my soul strength from my hand
Bullets rang out of the saloon. The smoke cleared. The patrons all ran to see who had been the victory. A lone young girl stood amidst the chaos. At her feet lay a grizzled criminal that was holding his...crotch?
"Well gee I guess I missed! I'm only just a women, after all". The bandit started to sob and Lina smiled and hoisted her gun.
So look out and hide your fans
The "proper" women of the town looked at the redhead cowgirl. "Its indecent for a women to be walked around like that, pretending to be a man", they all chorused. Secretly they envied her. They wanted to be like her,...well not counting the bean pole figure and small breast but you know....
I'm a woman on fire with a huge desire
To be as good as any man
Lina looked down at the horizon at the horizon from the cliff. Scenes of her life passed through her mind. People told her that she wasn't good enough, and that she was just "a women". She'd show them. She'd show them all. She could be ask good as any man.