Open Fields Closed Eyes

"moan like an autumn wind high in the lonesome trees.."

He just stopped. Just stood several feet behind and stared at the ground. He has been quiet for a while now. Why?

"I am of no use to you anymore. You'd just be better off forgetting about me..."

he turned to walk away.

The wind picked up a little. The breeze blew her hair across her face and her cape to her side. She was struck silent...

How did it come to this?

Then in an almost whisper; "How can I forget about you, when you are all that I can think about."

The breeze continued on getting colder slowly in that open field. He slowly turned around, his hair blocking his face. She then saw something that caused her to lose all her senses. She saw him crying....

What brought this on?

He stood several feet away looking at her with those handsome blue eyes.

She said something that should have been said years ago. She felt the guilt of had holding it in for so long. She felt the tears coming. All her feeling out in the open she felt so vunerable, and never so much more than at that moment.

All seemed to be in vain. The wind was not only blowing briskly between them, but it seemed to be pushing him away. He turned back around and continued walking away from her.

He hadn't heard her.

Her heart raced. Where was he going? Hadn't he acknowledged her when she responded to him?

Damn the wind! It was a wall between them. It blocked her words. She was too far away for him to hear. The tears blurred her vision. All she could see was his flowing blonde hair. He was getting away.

"I said the words. I got no response. I knew it. She doesn't need me. It sure is getting cold out here. All I can hear is the wind." He said to himself. "I didn't want to, but I had to look at her one more time. Take in that long red hair, remember her form, memorize her face. I will never forget her face, even if I forget the rest, I will never forget...damn these tears, they sting."

He kept walking. He refused to stop unless he felt her grip on him, then he would never lose that grip. Never.

She collapsed to her knees. He didn't hear her. Why was he leaving? She couldn't let him leave. She went weak with the thoughts of being without him. She got back up and took a step towards him. She held out her hand to try to reach him, but he was still too far away to be able to grab him, feel his arms, the strength in them, which she wanted to hold her, and hold her tight.

She had to be strong. She always had to be strong. The world depended on it, but why was she now so weak? She had the power to hold chaos in her hands, to merge the energies of light and dark, and she broke down with the mere thought of losing him.

"Why isn't she coming after me? Why isn't she calling out for me? I've protected her. I've taken the hits for her. I have even chased her into the very blackness of chaos to rescue her, but no words now? I never wanted anything in return, nothing. The only thing I ever wanted was to know how she felt, how her feelings were of me. I wanted to know if she loved me as I did her, or if it was to be no more than close friends and companions? All I ever received was an array of punches and verbal abuse."

He kept on walking. His pace quickened as he reached the road.

"That is why I am leaving. I never expect to get what I need to hear." His thoughts continued on.

"Maybe he did hear me? He turned to look at me, but is he ignoring me? Maybe I was too late in telling him, to late to show the feelings that I have for him. That is why he is leaving. He was tired of waiting."

"Waiting is all I ever did. I just can't wait anymore. I thought I could, but...."

"He lied! He lied! " she yelled to herself out there in that empty field. "He said he would stay with me forever, for the rest of his life! Why did he lie? Why is he still walking away without me?"

"I promised to stay with her for the rest of my life. I would still honor that promise if I knew she at least wanted me, but she obviously doesn't otherwise she would be walking with me now. I would still honor that promise if just once she would take me seriously..."

he continued to walk down the hill until he was no longer in site. He reached the main road and continued on down the path.

"I've lost her forever..."

"I can't see him anymore. He really is gone. It is really cold out here. Cold. Cold is all I was ever to him. I realize coy smiles weren't enough. I never took him seriously. All I ever did was beat him up, belittle him everytime he said something. I did drive him slowly away. No wonder he broke his promise. It is all my fault he is gone."

She sat down in that empty field.

"Why aren't I chasing after him? He no longer wants me, that's why. I don't blame him. It is all my fault." She simply sat there.

The wind died down. There was nothing but silence all around her. She cried and only the one thought kept repeating in her mind...

"I've lost him forever..."