World was on fire and no one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you
No, I don't want to fall in love
Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
The sky was a brilliant shade of blue with blotches of cotton-white clouds floating past, a cool breeze was blowing, and the birds were flying overhead, chirping merrily. Rays of sunlight passed through evergreen leaves, casting various streaks of golden yellow on the pavement. Youji sat outside the flower shop with his lean jeans-clad legs resting on the table, a cigarette dangling in between his lips, and a strong brew of aromatic black coffee in his hand. This was the life.
But something was wrong. Instead of enjoying the peacefully serene life, the young man was troubled. Dark brown brows creased together, forming a frown as those jaded green eyes stared blankly at the gray pavement. Thoughts raced inside that troubled mind. The thought of what happened last Friday and the question of why he participated in Schuldich's sick mind games finally changed to the question of whether he was attracted to the German.
Sure, Youji had been attracted to men before, like the typical bishonens that occasionally passed the shop and the near-feminine J-rockers. Actually, Youji found that to be such a turn-on to see guys in makeup. That may be sick, but wasn't lusting over your own enemy, who happens to be of the same sex, worse? Confusion set in.
Youji crushed his remaining cigarette on the ashtray, drank up the rest of the coffee, and proceeded inside, grabbing his apron on the way in. He didn't need those thoughts to ruin his day, again.
It was early, 7:26 to be exact. The rest of Weiß were still asleep. It had been like this for the past 5 days. Youji, being the first one to reach the flower shop, and the one to open it. Something was definitely wrong as far as the others were concerned. The dark rings under the young man's eyes proved them right. He hadn't been sleeping well for the past few nights. Which was really a dead give-away.
But when they asked, especially Ken who kept pestering him about being in top condition for the missions and taking care of his own health, he'd just fend them off and assure them that everything was perfectly fine. They knew that he was lying, but then again, when Youji intended on keeping a secret, no one was going to be digging it out from him. The man had a vile temper, especially when he'd not had enough sleep.
A sigh. Youji didn't know what to do. He sauntered back outside, fished out another cigarette from his back pocket, and lit it. He took a long drag out of it and let a trail of grayish smoke slowly escape his slightly parted lips. A couple more of those long drags and the cigarette was finished. With ease, he flicked the cigarette butt off to the street.
He needed to keep those thoughts from resurfacing. Keeping himself busy normally did the trick, but whenever he had nothing to do, his mind wandered back to last Friday.
Then it all went back to instant replay. And no matter how hard he tried to keep himself focused on something else, he couldn't keep his mind from not thinking about that certain redhead. The way he moved, the way he talked, his laugh, his musky scent...his trailing kisses.
And he hated it. Both the German and himself. He hated Schuldich for playing those sick games of his and he hated the redhead even more for making him so restless these days. But most of all, he hated himself for having so little control over his own body. Another sigh.
Nowadays, all that occupied his mind was Schuldich. He had compared the man to various other people, both male and female, trying to find the differences or the similarities that they had to him. And the shocking thing that Youji had to admit was that Schuldich was pretty easy on the eyes. Adding the fact that he had been lusting over the German was no help at all.
A hand vigorously raked at his wavy hair. He was going insane, no doubt about it. The day that Kudou Youji finds a guy attractive is the day that he looses his mind. The chestnut-haired man buried his face in his hands. He desperately needed help.
"Youji-kun!" A boy's voice startled him, bringing him back to reality. He looked up from his hands, only to be greeted by the sight of an approaching young blond. Omi. Quickly he straightened up, put forth his most convincing smile, and waved at his colleague.
Omi walked to the older man and looked him up and down. Concern was all over his face. "Ne, Youji-kun, you don't look so good. You're as pale as Aya-kun! Maybe you should go get some sun. Or go see the doctor or something."
Youji looked at him blankly for a few seconds. Then the words registered in his mind and the corners of his mouth tugged upwards. He had wanted to say that the doctors wouldn't help. Instead he just shook his head and went inside, leaving a very puzzled Omi scratching his head. Then the boy ran in after the chestnut-haired man.
"Look Omi, I...gotta go somewhere," Youji started as he took off his apron. "I need to sort some thing out. Could you tell Aya that for me? You know how he doesn't like me skipping my shifts," he continued, turning to face the younger boy.
The serious look on Youji's face convinced the young blond that he wasn't lying this time. No girls and no dates for the past few days really meant that Youji was facing a huge problem. Omi nodded vigorously as the other silently brushed past him.
The seventeen-year-old looked on as the oldest of the Weiß members got in his black vehicle and speed off. Omi eyed the vehicle until it was not more than a speck and he could no longer see it, then he went inside.
Terra Lounge was the most relaxing place that Youji had ever been to. The Japanese man sat on the varnished rattan seat, sipping on his ‘Blue Lagoon' as he faced the clear blue sea, listening to a band that played wonderfully melodious music. The setting of it, with the sweet flow of the harmony really reminded him of being in Bahamas where the girls danced with their colorful flower wreaths and their little grass skirts, just like in the movies. And he imagined himself dancing too, with a certain redhead. A smile momentarily appeared on his face, until he realized just what he was thinking. Lusting over a female was a yes. Over a male was a definite no.
Youji turned his attention to the ocean, where the golden orb of fire had slowly began to descend, gradually sinking beneath the horizon. The sea breeze was gently blowing, causing his chestnut hair to momentarily obscure his view, and he brushed the strands aside. He stared at the blazing ball of gas until it made his eyes water and he rubbed at them, then letting his verdant-colored eyes slowly focus back on the picturesque scene.
He had been driving around town the whole day, stopping here and there, trying very hard to get some relatively helpful advice from his friends, who were mainly bisexual, on what to do in a situation like this. Some said that it was just wrong, falling for the enemy, while others encouraged him to do what seems natural when the time comes. And those various other opinions have been driving him nuts for the past 10 hours or more as he pondered upon them. Finally only to give up and settle down at the lounge. There was no doubt about it that Youji felt something for Schuldich, but there was no way in hell was he going to admit to it. So what if his pride got in the way? He wasn't going to let the German have the satisfaction of dragging him to bed without a fight over it.
"So that's the whole point of thinking all that shit? Man, if I wasn't so interested in you, I would have done you in for giving me such a harsh headache," Schuldich voiced as he rubbed a hand on his temple.
Surprised at the voice that suddenly greeted his ears, Youji turned his head sharply to have his eyes set on the redhead, clad in a white top and black pants, minus his trademark yellow bandanna and sunglasses. The German was grinning at him.
The dying rays of sunlight illuminated Schuldich's features and accentuated his male beauty even more. It also made his hair look like blazing flames. Youji had to try very hard to suppress his urge to fun his fingers through those silken red mass of his.
"You can if you want to," Schuldich answered his thoughts, smiling as he invited himself to sitting opposite Youji.
Irritated, Youji shot him a glance and replied, mildly screaming, "Will you stop reading other people's minds?!"
"It sure would be better if you could like just say it out loud, so I wouldn't have to dig through your head. It's very tiring you know," Schuldich continued.
Youji snorted at the comment. "Hey, it's not my fault that you're such a busybody. Serve you right for prying in other people's thoughts."
"Keep it up and you'll be sounding like Brad by the end of the week," the redhead retorted, as he waved for the waiter to take his order. All that done and the waiter gone, Schuldich turned back to his object of interest and stared at Youji for a long moment. Youji broke the eye contact and looked elsewhere, anywhere but at Schuldich. The German knew the silence between them was making the Japanese uneasy. With one graceful movement, he leaned over on the oval-shaped table, the only thing that separated the two, and in a low and breathy voice he asked, "So, have you missed me?"
"Hardly," Youji replied dryly. But he couldn't stop the blood that rushed to his cheeks as it tinged them with a soft blush. He was lucky for the momentary distraction that the waiter caused as he came back with Schuldich's whiskey. Youji turned looked at the performing quartet as he willed himself to stop blushing.
Why was he acting this way anyway? He wasn't some schoolgirl that had just seen her long time crush. Sure he was attracted to the German, that he'd confirmed by now. But he was sitting opposite his worst enemy for God's sake. And here he was blushing like hell. Schuldich was not going to let him down on this one if he found out. Thank God he was talking to the waiter.
And he couldn't believe that he was just talking to the redhead like they have been friends for a long time. What is going on? Why is he so relaxed in front of Schuldich? If this was how he was going to be when the time for the showdown came, he'd definitely not stand a chance over the telepath.
The chestnut-haired man looked back, only to catch a glimpse of Schuldich whispering something to the waiter. He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy when he saw the redhead's lips so close to the other's ears. He eyed them closely, then the waiter was gone. Great, now he was jealous over who the German is with. Just great.
Schuldich snickered. "I've got a surprise for you," he said as he took a sip of his drink. His green eyes intent on Youji's, then widened a bit as he put his glass down and commented, "Hey! The hickey's gone! Damn, wish those things would stay on longer." And he grinned.
Youji opened his mouth to make another crude comment, but never got the chance to because Schuldich suddenly got up from his chair and grabbed the Japanese's hand.
"Hey, let's dance! My song's on already," the German said, obviously excited. But it wasn't the same for Youji. He was shocked beyond words! Here he was, with Schuldich of all people, and he was asked to dance? With a man no less. No, he wasn't going to participate in Schuldich's sick games. Especially when he'd only get humiliated in public.
"Oh come on, you spoil sport. How the hell am I going to humiliate you when there's only us here, and the band, and the waiters? Like they're going to care! You are just so paranoid," the impatient German answered his thoughts.
"Of course I'm paranoid! I'm not gay and I wouldn't want to be caught dead being one. Besides, why the hell should I oblige to your request anyway?" Youji raised his voice as he fended off Schuldich's hand that held his own.
"Because you're gonna enjoy it. And I'm not saying that you're gay, nobody is." Schuldich's voice softened as he coaxed his unwilling partner. "Come on already. I'd really like to have a dance with you before the song's actually over."
"Over my dead body," Youji muttered, crossing his arms defiantly. He shook his head to emphasis his point.
Schuldich, peeved with Youji for having to waste more than half of his song and for being such a pain, swiftly tipped the other's chin upwards and pressed his lips to Youji's, hard. Softly, he traced his tongue over the soft contours of the other's lower lip, trying to coax it open. And when it did, he slipped it in and carelessly brushed against the other's. And he could feel the other responding more than willingly. Their tongues entwined, each gently caressing the other.
Youji, who was at first shocked at the fact that Schuldich was kissing him, gave in to the sensation that took over him. His belly felt like it was full of butterflies when he felt Schuldich's tongue grazed his. Surprisingly, it was nothing that Youji had expected. He'd thought that his first kiss with the German would be rough and brutal. This was everything but that, and it left him breathless when they pulled apart.
Schuldich looked intently into those green eyes that seemed to mirror his. Youji, feeling his face heated once again, avoided those lustful eyes that seemed to burn into his. And he could feel himself being pulled up.
Smirking, the German dragged his partner onto the dance floor, under the silvery glow of the moonlight, and pulled the other's body close to his. As a matter of safe precaution, less Youji felt like escaping, Schuldich placed a firm hand on the small of his partner's back. He could hear Youji gasp and he chuckled softly.
Slowly, he led the other to the beat of song, and they slow danced, twirling and moving together. Both so blissfully wrapped up in each other's embrace that they were oblivious to the world that surrounded them as they danced the whole night away.
Even though he wouldn't admit to it, Youji did enjoy the whole evening. Dancing with the German wasn't half as bad as he had imagined it to be, plus of course, they were lucky that there was no other people than them, so basically they had the whole place to themselves.
It was probably well after midnight when they finally left Terra Lounge. And that wasn't to go home either. Schuldich had plans for the night, and it included the Weiß member too. Hand in hand, they walked out of the lounge.
Part 3 | Fanfiction