I randomly decided to write an AyaxKen 'fic this evening. ^^; It's looking to be rather long, so.. sit back, grab a pop, and read on.. at your own risk! This story is yaoi, and will be lemon later on. ^.^First person, present tense, Aya's POV.
Much thanks to Sailor Mac and Yohann DeSabrais for comments, and especially Sailor Mac, for the title. L
navy = second dream sequence is encased
I know I'm dreaming. It's funny, when one finally figures that out. I can tell, because the scene before me is somewhat blurred and distorted.
I sit by myself in a hospital waiting room, looking around idily. I'm not sure what I'm doing here, but something tells me it's important. Across from me sits a boy a couple years younger than me. He has slightly shaggy brown hair that falls over startlingly vivid green eyes. He looks sad. He probably is like the others in this room, waiting for news on a loved one who is sick or injured.
However, upon looking around, I find that there is nobody else. Just me, and this brown-haired boy. My gaze goes to a clock over his head, but the clock is stopped. Slowly, I look down at him again. He looks at me with incredible sorrow, and I wonder if I shouldn't say something to him.
The door opens, and someone else joins us. He walks over to the other boy and kneels, putting a hand on his knee and looking up at him. Within seconds, even though they don't say anything, the boy knows something. Tears fill his eyes and start down his cheeks. He looks up at me again, green eyes pleading with me, asking me why.
My throat closes, and I find it hard to breathe. I just sit there, looking at the two of them. The other is looking at me now, but I don't recognize him, either. They both look at me, silently crying. Wondering why whatever happened, had to happen.
And I'm as powerless to help them now, as I'm powerless to help myself. Powerless to help anyone. I live for revenge, and that's.. all. And, as I think that, the boy with green eyes slowly lifts a hand, reaching out to me. I gaze at him, then turn away.
When I turn back, he's slumped over the chair he was sitting in. There's blood everywhere, and the man who was with him is gone.
I wake up sitting bolt upright, drenched in a cold sweat. I tremble, and I can't figure out why. Slowly, I raise my knees to my chest, putting a hand on my forehead. What in all HELLS was THAT? Another messed up dream, another nightmare to add to my collection?
Sneering at myself, I push the covers away irritably and get up. I am constantly plagued by nightmares, and one more won't hurt me. But there's a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. The dream is still so vivid, and that boy..
Too late to do anything now, though. I close my eyes for a moment and picture him, then jump a little, startled, as I realise that he's familiar. That face, that hair, those eyes.. I bite my lip. Why would I be dreaming about Ken? It makes as little sense as the fact that I'm sitting here trembling from a nightmare like a six-year-old.
I sigh and pull on a pair of pants. Barefoot and bare chested, I walk out of my room and to the kitchen. The electronic clock on the microwave reads 1:41 AM. I close my eyes briefly, and the image of haunted green eyes come back. Opening my eyes, sparing no thoughts of disgust for myself, I walk to the cupboard and get a glass. In the darkness, however, I don't see the other person in the room until it's too late. I turn around and walk right into him.
He makes a muffled sound at the impact and I start. "Dare ka?!" I ask, my voice deep and harsh from sleep.
"Aya?" asks a voice. "'s me, Ken."
Exasperated, I step around him and fill my glass with water. Naturally, it'd HAVE to be Ken. It couldn't be Youji or Omi. It had to be the boy who haunted my dream. Or nightmare. Whichever you prefer to call it.
"What're you doing up?" he asks, yawning a little.
I take a long drink of the water before answering. The cool liquid soothes my throat, and when I speak again, my voice isn't as harsh. "I'm just up," I say in my usual short manner. "What about you?"
Even in the darkness, I can almost see his sheepish grin. The grin he uses when he knows he's been caught doing something he shouldn't. "Well, ah, I was watching a soccer game.. it just ended."
Typical Ken. I shake my head as I finish my water, then put my glass down. "I'm going back to bed," I say quietly. I walk around him, and his hand brushes against my bare arm. The contact raises goosebumps on my skin, and I shiver a little. His hand is so warm, and I'm so cold. I shove the thought away and stalk back to my room, practically slamming the door behind me. I don't want to think. I just want to sleep.
I lay down and get under the covers again after pulling my jeans off and chucking them who knows where. I don't know how long I've laid here, but sleep sure as hell is taking it's sweet time in getting here. Finally, after what feels like eternity, I drift off.. only to be awakened ten seconds later by someone knocking on the door.
Iie, it can't be ten seconds, because now the sun is streaming fully into my eyes. I wince a little and roll onto my side, then push the blankets back and get up. The world spins unsteadily for a moment, then everything settles into cold, hard reality. I go to the door and open it, and it's him again.
"Ohayou," he greets me. "I thought I'd let you know that you're about five minutes away from being late for work."
I blink at him incomprehendingly, then turn to look at the clock on my bedside table. K'sou, he's right. I have less than that to get dressed. I nod briefly at him to thank him and shut the door again, flying around the room, grabbing clothes and throwing them on. When I'm satisfied that I at least look halfway decent, I run a brush through my hair and sprint downstairs, pulling on shoes and apron in the process.
Youji is waiting for me, and I blink at him when I see Momoe sitting in her rocking chair, petting the cat. He arches an eyebrow at me, and I understand. I narrow my eyes and nod. Manx is downstairs, and she has a mission for us.
The TV screen clicks on, and we turn our eyes to it. "Weiss," says Persia, his voice imperious. "There is a man named Kikatai Rei who is the ringleader of a group called 'Zerstörung'. At midnight tonight, they plan on putting poison in the water supply. Your mission is to eliminate him and his assistant, whose identity is unknown. White hunters, hunt the dark beasts of tomorrow!"
The TV screen clicks off, and we turn our eyes to Manx, who nods at us. "Who's in?" she asks, getting right down to buisness.
"I am." I say coldly, reaching for an information packet. As I leaf through it, everyone else accepts as well.
"Good." Manx says, smiling at us. "You'll have to work quickly on this one. I'd suggest starting right now. Well..." With that, she leaves, and we're left alone in the basement.
Omi goes to the computer and turns it on. "I'll start looking for locations," he says.
Youji grins lazily and stands up, stretching. "I'll go look through this and see if I can't find any information by walking around in the area."
Ken rolls his eyes at Youji and looks at me with a grin. "I'll do whatever you do," he says.
Well, that's just great. I close my eyes briefly, then open them and nod. "As you wish," I say flatly.
For the next six or seven hours, Ken becomes my shadow. He's not a pest, persay, but having him around wears on my nerves after a little while.
After what seems like an eternity later, we're ready to start the mission. The route to the water facility is a long one, but I don't dare risk bringing a car. It'd be too obvious. So, we walk. We've become adept at slinking through the shadows, and once we get close, I start to relax. I'm confident that nobody's seen us.
Quietly, Omi touches my arm and whispers, "I'll break into their security system. Ken's coming with me, so Youji will stick with you, okay?"
I nod, a bit surprised that Omi's the one giving out orders. That's generally my job. Youji walks silently to me as only he can, and together we make our way inside.
After Omi gives the signal, we creep down the darkened hallway. I have no idea which way to go, as usual. I simply wander around until I find where I need to be. Despite what the others think, I'm horrible with directions, and could probably get lost in the Koneko's gigantic greenhouse.
Youji tugs at my sleeve and motions to a set of large double-doors. The sign to the side reads "Water Storage Tanks". I look at him and nod. This must be the place. The doors prove to be locked, and with a grin, Youji steps in front of me.
"Allow the master to work," he whispers. I snort, but watch what he does carefully. I had always known that wire of his had another use aside from the obvious. It takes him a little bit of time, but he finally manages to get the lock to give.
With a soft click, the door opens, and we enter slowly. The soft hum of the water filtration system is all I can hear. Youji tugs on my sleeve again and he leads the way, having better night vision than I. I follow him around the tanks to the back of the room, where there are a lot of pipes.
"Now, we wait," he breathes into my ear. I nod silently, not wanting to say anything. I don't like talking on missions, it makes me nervous. Especially missions like this one, where everything is silent.
Youji leans back against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest, looking the room over with catlike green eyes. I simply stand still, my katana sheathed. No point in having it ready yet.
Without warning, the lights come on. Temporarily blinded, we dive for cover. Thankfully, however, whoever hit the lights does not see us. For the time being, anyway.
I peek out from around a storage unit and see two men. Our targets. They're carrying a large container full of what I imagine is the poison. I nod to Youji, and we creep forward, slipping through the few shadows there are. Once we're in range, I draw my katana and leap into the air, holding the blade over my head.
"Shi-ne!" I yell, plunging the sword into the back of the ringleader. He never knew what hit him, I'd imagine. Neither did his assistant, who is now hanging by his neck from the ceiling pipes, suspended by Youji's razor-sharp wire. I look at the assassin rather than the dead man, and within seconds, I hear two thuds. One is the man's body, the other is his head. Supressing a wave of sickness, I nod to Youji.
"It's done, let's go." Youji nods, and together we race out of the room.
It isn't a short run back to where Omi and Ken are, it takes us a good ten minutes to find them. More time than I like. I look both of them over briefly, glad to see they're uninjured. I'd never show it, but the thought of any of my teammates getting killed just makes me sick.
Together, we run out of the facility. There's no need to blow it up or anything, so there's no need to stop and set up explosives. We're a subtle group. Besides, what's the point of blowing up the water system? That would make the effect of saving it from poison kind of null.
We race onto a side street and slow down a little. I close my eyes and pause a second to catch my breath, and the others stop too.
Ken's face is flushed from running in the cold air, and his eyes sparkle with excitement. "Well, we did it!" he says quietly. "One more batch of idiots removed from the gene pool!" He and Omi slap a high five, and I have to work hard to restrain a grin at their behavior. I just nod and look at the single street light. Omi wanders off to the side with Youji to look at a store window, leaving Ken and I alone.
Movement from down the street catches my eyes, and I tense. A pair of headlights flick on, and a motor revs. Too late, I realise what's happening. With squealing tires, the car barrels towards us.
No, not towards us. Towards HIM.
Fear and startlement paralyze him, he doesn't move, and neither do I. My eyes widen and my vision blurrs as I remember that night. The night the same thing happened to my beloved imouto, Aya-chan.
The impact is sickening. Ken goes flying over the hood and hits the windshield and is then thrown over the roof of the car and off to the side, where he falls and doesn't move. By this time, Omi and Youji are yelling and running towards us. The car speeds away before we can do anything about it.
A growing puddle of red is pooling around Ken now. I stagger back, my eyes wide. Powerless now, just as I was then. Youji runs to him and kneels, cursing fluidly as he checks the younger boy's pulse. Omi stands there and stares, paralyzed as I am.
"Don't just stand there!" Youji yells, breaking us out of our thoughts. "Call an ambulance, FAST!"
Omi sprints off to find a pay phone. My mind slowly starts working again and I strip off my trench coat, thrusting it at Youji. "Cover him with this," I say. This time, if my voice sounds short, it's because I'm terrified for Ken, terrified to see another loved one - friend, this time - in the hospital, in a coma, because of a hit and run.
There's silence, except for Youji talking to Ken. I'm numb. I look down at them with what I'm sure are eyes that are haunted and hollow, filled with memories. For once, there's a crack in my shell. For once, I'm letting them see how I really feel.
Dimly, I wonder why Youji's talking to him. It's not like he can answer. Or so I thought.
"Wouldja.. shut.. up.. please?" croaked a voice.
"Ken!" he cried, his face lighting with a beautiful smile. "You're awake!"
I kneel down next to him on the other side, not wanting to look at Youji. I didn't want to see the love shining in his eyes. Even though he tried to hide it, I'm a very observant person. I know Youji's in love with Ken. The fact doesn't sicken me or repulse me, I just don't want to see it. I don't say anything. Asking Ken how he felt would be a stupid question.
In the distance, I hear screaming sirens. I look down at him, and am surprised to see his luminous eyes trained on me. "You okay?" he croaks. "Not hurt?" He coughs then, and blood splatters his lips. A thin trail makes its way down his chin. I grit my teeth, wondering how he can talk if he's coughing up blood.
"I'm fine," I hear myself say. Good. Mouth works, brain doesn't. How splendid. I curse myself, realising that at that moment, they were probably finding out more than I ever wanted them to know just by looking at me. Abruptly, I stand up, Ken's selflessness having struck something inside of me that I wanted to go away and die. "The paramedics are coming. Youji, give me your coat."
Youji looks at me, bewildered, and then seems to catch on. We're still in assassin gear. He strips out of the trenchcoat, and gently removes Ken's goggles and bugnuks. Wrapping them in the coat, he hands it to me. I nod to him. "Omi and I will catch up with you at the hospital."
With that, I sprint down the street, Omi in close behind me. We run until we reach the Koneko. Wasting no time, I put Ken's gear in his room and Youji's coat in his, then run to my own room and drop my katana. I change clothes faster than I ever have in my life, not even bothering to look at what I put on.
I run down the stairs and find Omi waiting for me. Together, we jump into my car and I drive to the hospital, breaking more laws than just the speed limit. When we get there, I find a parking place in overnight parking. I'm not planning on leaving tonight.
Unknowingly, they have brought Ken to the same hospital Aya-chan is in. At least I know my way around here. I ask at the desk about Ken, and the lady there tells me he's in ICU.
Omi and I go there and find Youji outside the doors, pacing the waiting room like a hunting cat. He sees us and walks to us quickly. "The doctors took him in there as soon as we got here. Something about emergency surgery." Agitated, he rakes a hand through his tawny hair. "Dammit, they didn't tell me anything!"
"Calm yourself," I say quietly, even though calm was about the last thing I felt at the time. "We have to sit and wait. That's all we can do."
For the next six hours, we sit in the waiting room. I close my eyes and lean back in the uncomfortable chair, willing time to move faster. Six hours with nothing to do isn't on my top ten list of things I enjoy, especially not when Ken's in the condition he's in. We don't even have any word on him yet.
Omi is sleeping, using my legs as a pillow. He's kneeling on the ground with his arms on my legs, and his head on his arms. I let him do this because Youji's too restless. He keeps getting up to do things, be it get more coffee, go smoke, go to the restroom, or whatever else. I haven't really moved since I sat down, and I've long since lost the feeling in my legs.
A weary-looking doctor comes out of the ICU door, with blood splattered on his scrubs. That's not a reassuring sight. He walks over to me and nods. "Are you with Hidaka-san?"
"Yes," I reply, my voice slightly hoarse from not speaking for six hours and sitting in the dry waiting room. I shake Omi gently and he wakes, sitting up and blinking owlishly. When he sees the doctor, he comes fully awake and sits next to me, looking up with eyes eager for news of Ken.
"We've been in surgery for the past six hours, as is probably obvious from my current state of dress." The doctor's manner is friendly and to-the-point, and I find myself liking him. "Car accidents are serious things, and Hidaka-san wasn't very lucky in this one. I'd say the car probably won." Pausing to smile a bit, reassuringly, he goes on. "He's got a broken arm and several broken ribs, but our main concern is the rib that went through his lung."
I feel my heart leap into my throat and my stomach sink to my shoes. Omi pales and his eyes widen.
"I've managed to fix most of the damage, but the rest will be up to Hidaka-san." The doctor looks at both of us. "His lung is inflating nicely again, but he'll have trouble breathing deeply for quite some time, and trouble breathing normally for about a month. He's hooked to a ventilator now, which breathes for him. He'll be in a lot of pain during this time, so he's also drugged to the teeth. He's being taken to a room in the ICU, but you're free to visit him. After he wakes up, I'm sure he'll want to see you."
I thank the doctor numbly and look at Omi and Youji. They nod, and I lead the way into ICU, pausing to ask which room he's in. The secretary tells me, and we thread our way through the maze of hallways.
Slowly, I open the door to his room. Once everyone's in, Omi shuts the door behind us, and I walk to his bedside. He's hooked up to a dozen different machines, and the only sound in the room is the beeping of his heart monitor and the puff of the ventilator. Just like Aya-chan.
I suddenly feel sick and am forced to turn away. Omi and Youji walk to him, Omi taking my place. I walk out into the hallway and lean against the wall, covering my face with my hands. To see Aya in that position is bad enough. To see Ken like that is torture. He's just like her, so bright and full of life and energy. So eager to live.
It may have been hours, it may have been minutes. I lost track of the time. Omi came into the hallway and looked up at me. "Aya-kun.. Ken-kun's awake now."
Startled, I look down at him. "A.. aa," I reply, following him into the room.
Intense green eyes see me and widen, then go back to normal, shining softly in what would have been a smile, had Ken been able to move his mouth very well around the tube stuck down his throat. I cringe a little at the sight, but walk to him, forcing myself to touch his hand. Warm, just like last night. Last night, when he was fine, watching soccer, sneaking into the kitchen for a literal midnight snack.
I want to say something to him, but I can't say anything. He gazes up at me with knowing green eyes, eyes that are tinged with sorrow. He knows he won't be able to say anything to any of us for the next month, and then probably awhile after that while his vocal chords recover. The dream comes back to me, of him looking at me with sorrowful eyes. It's enough to make my eyes sting, and I close them and look down and away. I feel a soft touch on my hand and I open my eyes again when I feel someone else's wrap around it. I look down at Ken again, and the look in his eyes now is different.
I understand. He doesn't want me to blame myself. I look at him for a moment more, and then allow myself a small smile. His eyes light up at it, and I want to laugh at how comical it is. But I don't. Instead, I release his hand and look at the others. "I have things I have to do. More of the mission. Stay with Ken."
And I leave, before I can blurt it out.
I like him a lot more than I probably should.
One month later...
I walk into Ken's room holding a squirming bundle in my arms. He looks up at me, the ventilator having since been removed. He grins and waves, still unable to talk. His throat must hurt like nothing else. I nod at him.
"I brought you something that I thought you might like." I say.
Interest brightens his eyes and he cranes his neck to see what I have in my arms. It's just a sweatshirt, which I put down on his lap. He reaches down and unwraps it, and his eyes light up, a big smile brightening his face. Wrapped in the sweater was a calico kitten. Ken looks incredibly happy as he pets it, and he smiles up at me, his way of saying thank you.
I sit in the chair next to his bed and watch him play with the kitten for a few minutes. "I'll have to take her back to the Koneko," I say. "Animals aren't supposed to be allowed in here."
He nods. The doctors told me he'd be out of the hospital by the end of the week, and when I tell him, I have the distinct pleasure of seeing his eyes light up again.
He opens his mouth like he wants to say something and frowns a little in concentration, then he slowly speaks, his usual tenor rough and hoarse, but strangly, just as melodic. "Aya.. I'm happy." He smiles triumphantly at me.
I just look at him, then shake my head, smiling a little again. Funny. I've been doing that a lot around him lately. "And now you've probably just ruined your voice for life," I say, amused.
Ken shook his head. "Doctors said.. should be fine."
Unable to help myself, I shake my head, that small smile still on my face. "Hai, hai," I reply. "Until then, try to stay quiet."
He makes a face at me, and I just look at him. He laughs then, and even though his voice is so harsh, it is one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard.
"Ahhh! It's great to be home!" Ken says, walking into the house with a slight limp earned from major brusing on one knee. The doctor said he might not be able to play soccer for a long time, but the determination that shone in Ken's eyes outshone the doctor's prediction. He would play again.
Youji laughs. He has an arm around Ken to help him walk, and as independant as the younger boy is, he doesn't shake him off. Something tightens in my chest and I look away as Youji speaks. "Happy to be back in the Koneko, hmm?" he teases. "Just to see the girls in the flower shop?"
Ken laughs. "Yeah, I'm hoping to maybe get a date with one of them!"
As Youji teases him and Ken plays along, the tight feeling in my chest gets worse. I go to my room and shut the door, wanting to be alone. I look at the bed and blink. The kitten, whom Ken had named Amethyst, is curled up in a patch of sun on the quilt. What kind of a name Amethyst is for a calico kitten is beyond me, but Ken insisted on it.
I walk over to the bed and sit down, being careful not to disturb her rest. I toe my shoes off and kick them aside, then lay down on my side. She wakes up and yawns, and then pads over to me to curl up against my chest. I can't help but smile again as I stroke her soft fur and listen to her purr.
Closing my eyes, I wonder when it was that I stopped seeing Ken as merely a friend and started longing for more. I know that loving him will only hurt me in the end, but I can't help it. I want him so badly. It's hard to imagine, needing someone like I need him. I feel like he can bridge the hole in my life. But Youji's in love with him too, and Youji can probably treat him better and give him what he wants. I know nothing about love, aside from very little about the physical aspect.
Laying in the warm sunlight, I feel the weariness of the past couple days catch up to me. Working at the Koneko was hard without Ken. Sleep crept up on me and drug me down into dark oblivion before I could even think about getting up and doing something.
I know I'm dreaming. It's funny, when one finally figures that out. I
can tell, because the scene before me is somewhat blurred and distorted.
I sit by myself in a hospital waiting room, looking around idily. I'm not sure what I'm
doing here, but something tells me it's important. Across from me sits a boy a couple years
younger than me. He has slightly shaggy brown hair that falls over startlingly vivid green
eyes. He looks sad. He probably is like the others in this room, waiting for news on a loved
one who is sick or injured.
However, upon looking around, I find that there is nobody else. Just me, and
this brown-haired boy. My gaze goes to a clock over his head, but the clock is stopped.
Slowly, I look down at him again. He looks at me with incredible sorrow, and I wonder if I
shouldn't say something to him.
The door opens, and someone else joins us. He walks over to the other boy and kneels,
putting a hand on his knee and looking up at him. Within seconds, even though they don't say
anything, the boy knows something. Tears fill his eyes and start down his cheeks.
He looks up at me again, green eyes pleading with me, asking me why.
My throat closes, and I find it hard to breathe. I just sit there, looking at the two of
them. The other is looking at me now, but I don't recognize him, either. They both look at me,
silently crying. Wondering why whatever happened, had to happen.
And I'm as powerless to help them now, as I'm powerless to help myself. Powerless to
help anyone. I live for revenge, and that's.. all. And, as I think that, the boy
with green eyes slowly lifts a hand, reaching out to me. I gaze at him, then turn away.
When I turn back, he's slumped over the chair he was sitting in. There's blood
everywhere, and the man who was with him is gone.
I wake up with a start again, realising someone's in the room with me. Ken looks down at me, green eyes wide with worry. Amethyst is gone, the door is shut, and we're in my room. Alone. Trembling from the nightmare, I close my eyes and let a breath out, then sit up and look up at him. Habit forces me to snap at him.
"What are you doing here, Ken?" I ask.
He looks guilty then, and I mentally kick myself. "I couldn't sleep.. I came down here, and it sounded like you were crying in your sleep.. I.. just wanted to wake you."
I look down, then back up. "Arigatou," I say quietly. I wonder why I had that nightmare again. Generally, the only one that repeats itself is the one of Aya-chan..
Ken's voice breaks into my thoughts. "I, ah, I also wanted to talk to you."
Frowning a little, I nod. "You shouldn't be up," I say, scooting over, inviting him to sit down.
He sits down and smiles at me. "When's that ever stopped me?" he asks lightly. He seems nervous, though, his eyes darting from one way to another. They finally light on a place in front of me, on the quilt. I wait patiently for him to say something.
"Aya, I.." he bites his lip. "When the accident happened.. it's kind of funny, but.." He looks at me. "I didn't even think about myself.. I just.. I was afraid you'd been hit, too."
I blink, then look down. "I'm sorry. I.. froze."
He blinks. "Iya, iya! I'm not blaming you for it!" He reaches out and puts a hand on my bare shoulder. Warm, as always, despite the slight chill of the room. "What I'm saying is.." He lets his hand slip from my shoulder and onto the quilt. "I'm.. I think what I feel for you.. goes beyond friendship."
I'm amazed that I can hear him over the pounding of my heart. This was the moment I'd been waiting for, those the words I'd waited for what seemed like years for him to say. I look at him, and I find that the smile is back on my face. "I think I feel the same way," I say.
Slowly, he raises his eyes to mine. "Really?" he breathes.
I nod, and his eyes outshine the stars as he reaches up to touch my cheek. "Aya, I.." His eyes fill with tears and he smiles at me. "I'm so happy.."
Even though I've shut myself off for so long, I find that I want to embrace him. And so, being careful of his wounds, I do. He moves closer to me and closes his eyes, relaxing in my arms. After a few minutes, he makes a soft, pained sound.
"Gomen ne.. I really don't want to move now, but.. I hurt." He sounds sheepish and incredibly annoyed with himself.
I chide myself for not having thought of that before. "Of course you do," I say quietly. "Your ribs aren't fully healed yet." Gently, I release him, and he lays down, closing his eyes.
"Ahh.. this feels nice. Arigatou." He smiles without opening his eyes again, so I lay down next to him and pull the covers over us.
"You'll stay tonight, right?" I murmur.
He turns his head to look at me, and his smile is all I need of an answer. "I'll stay with you forever," he says quietly. A force beyond my knowledge slowly draws me to him, and when our lips are only an inch apart, he closes his eyes and kisses me.
Waking up in Ken's arms has got to be the best experience of my life yet. I can't say I feel like a totally changed person, but.. I do feel different. Ken's warm nature has slowly melted the ice that formed around my heart after my sister's accident, and my parents' death. I'm not sure they'd approve of this. Actually.. I'm wrong. Aya-chan might not approve, but she'd be happy for me. I smile a little bit, thinking that. She'd be happy even if I decided I wanted to live alone for the rest of my life. Just as long as she knew I was happy.
I look up at his face, from where I am nestled against him. He looks so peaceful in sleep, just like a small child. Slowly, gently, I reach up and touch his cheek. His eyes flutter and then open. He gazes at me for a moment, but then smiles.
"Ohayou," he murmurs, hugging me closer and snuggling deeper into my own embrace.
"Ohayou," I reply, feeling a bit awkward at this. We've now reversed positions; his head is tucked under my chin with one arm draped around my waist.
Finally, I realise what seems strange. It's not morning yet, or at least, it's not light out. A quick glance at my clock tells me it's around 3:15 AM.
Ken nuzzles my neck and chuckles softly. "What's wrong?"
I shake my head and bury my nose in his hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo. "It's 3 AM, and I'm wide awake."
"Yeah?" he asks, sounding amused. "Me too. Could it be because we fell asleep around 8:00?"
"Could be," I muse, running a hand lightly through his hair. He sighs softly, a warm rush of air against my neck. I close my eyes at the feel of it.
"Aya?" he murmurs, tightening his grip momentarily. When he loosens it, it's to slowly push himself up so he's level with me. His eyes search mine for a moment, and then, satisfied with whatever he saw in them, he kisses me again.
I feel myself melting into his embrace and I return his kiss akwardly. I have no clue what I'm doing. The contact is so new, so different. I'm scared, but I know I'm safe with him. That thought alone makes me tremble.
He feels me trembling and pulls me closer, pressing against me firmly. I gasp softly through our kiss, and he takes advantage of my parted lips to slip his tongue inside my mouth. My eyes widen, then close as I feel my strength float away on the night breeze that wafts in through the open window. For a few seconds, I don't like the feeling. After those seconds pass, however, I wonder how I ever lived without him, and these wonderful things he knows. I hesitantly return the kiss, stroking his tongue with my own. It's his turn to tremble as he feels me respond, and he runs one hand down my back.
When he breaks the kiss, we're both panting for breath. He gazes into my eyes, and, once again, whatever he sees there satisfies him. He trails hot kisses from my lips to my neck, all the while slowly pushing me over from my side onto my back. When I'm pinned beneath him, he kisses his way back up my neck, licking my ear gently. Another shiver races through me as a warm feeling spreads in my abdomen, slowly moving downwards.
"Is this okay?" he breathes into my ear, his breath against the moistness making me shiver yet again.
"Aa," I whisper, almost afraid to speak aloud. I don't want him to stop. Not now, not ever.
I can almost feel him smile as he kisses way down my neck again. When he sits up and straddles my hips, my eyes widen as a flash of pleasure jolts through me. It's like heat-lightning, all warm and tingling and wonderful. He runs his hands over my chest lightly, tracing delicate patterns. My eyes flutter closed, then fly open as his fingers brush over my nipples. I arch my back instinctively and he laughs softly, wonderingly, as he continues exploring.
I'm shaking so hard I can barely concentrate on anything. My mind is whirling in a thousand different directions, my heart pounding, and my body singing with pleasure. I feel a familiar tightness in my groin and I bite my lip to stifle yet another moan. I don't want him to think I'm over-eager.
It ought to be shocking, and maybe a bit shameful, that I'm reacting this way to another man. But the thought flits across my mind and is gone before it can do any damage. Ken is special to me. I care about him, and I want him to touch me. I want to touch him, too. That seems like a good idea. I reach up and put my fingertips on his chest, giving him the same treatment he gave me. Surprised, he looks down at me. I just smile a little at him and explore. His skin is silk over hard muscle, and I enjoy every minute of caressing him.
Slowly, I sit up, pushing him down. I can see the glint of pain in his eyes, and his determination to hide it. I don't want to push him too far, though. Not now. There's so much time ahead of us. He relaxes into the pillows and smiles up at me, prepared to let me take total control. Unfortunately, since I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I wouldn't want to place bets on how good I am to him. I do my best, though; I do what he reacts the best to.
The bandages are a hinderance, but not terribly so. I lower my head to his neck, kissing and tasting the warm, salty skin there. Feeling creative, I trail kisses down his chest, and do to him what he did to me with his fingers. I suckle softly at his nipples for a minute, loving every groan and cry, loving the feeling of him arching into my touch. Then I move on, back up, to claim his lips.
Scant seconds later, we're both naked. I made quick work of our boxers, tossing them elsewhere. I look him over, every inch of him that I can see. "Ken, you're beautiful," I breathe.
He blushes and smiles up at me. "Not as much as you," he replies in a sultry voice. "Come on.."
I grin at his impatience and let my hands wander on his chest and stomach. He urges me on, gasping softly when I trail my fingertips over his hip. I take my sweet time, but when I finally do touch him, it's with the intent of bringing him over the edge. He cries out softly and his hips buck desperately as I stroke him, and I know it won't take long. I wrap my hand around his hardness and establish a firm, quick rhythm. I waste no time. Within a minute, he gaps, cries my name, and climaxes.
I keep stroking him until he's finished, and he shudders, closing his eyes and trying to calm down. My own body reminds me that it needs to be taken care of, and I ignore it. I stretch out next to Ken and he looks at me, green eyes bright in the darkness.
"Your turn," he whispers in my ear. He kisses me fiercely as he proceeds to do the same thing to me. Pleasure as I've never felt before electrocutes me. My kisses turn wild and passionate, mainly to muffle my cries. He returns them with equal fervor, understanding as my whole body trembles, beyond my control. With what seemed like seconds, I lost control, screaming his name silently into his mouth.
When I'm able to regain my scattered wits, I am safely in the warm circle of his arms. He allows himself to savor his own afterglow and we relax together, waiting for our breathing to return to normal and our hearts to slow.
When I'm able to regain my scattered wits, I am safely in the warm circle of his arms. He allows himself to savor his own afterglow and we relax together, waiting for our breathing to return to normal and our hearts to slow.
He buries his face in my hair and closes his eyes, still trembling a little. When he regains control, I look up at him, and am surprised to see his beautiful eyes wet with tears.
"Ken?" I ask softly, worried that he may be in pain.
A gentle smile appears on his face and he kisses my forehead. "I'm okay," he whispers. "Sorry. It's just.."
I understand, and I nod. "Aa.. it's okay." I'd always heard that one's first time with a loved one was incredibly powerful. And I'd just had the honor of finding that out firsthand. Softly, I whisper into his ear, "I love you."
He gasps a little and stares at me, the tears overflowing. "Aya.." he murmurs, his voice unsteady. "I love you.. when the accident happened, I could only think of you.." He hugged me as tightly as he could, not caring about his injuries. I return his embrace, but lighter. I care about his injuries.
"Ah, Ken," I murmur. "I'm sorry to have caused you pain like this."
"Iya," he says, laughing a little as he cries. "It's not your fault. Not at all." His lips seek mine and find them once again. "I love you."
For the first time in a long time, I feel myself blushing. "I love you," I repeat.
We nestle together in the warm hollow we've created in the blankets, and I fall asleep listening to the soft sound of his breathing, and the rain falling outside my window.
groan this story just wouldn't let me stop writing it! @.@;;;; Damn. Well, as long as it is, I hope you all enjoy it. ^.^