Prologue

Murasaki Suishou and The Queen of Blueberry Toast


"For her whom I love, I played the adult and sacrificed so that she might see her dreams come true. For him whom I idolize, I submerged my self so that I might uphold his ideals. For the last few years I've lived simply for the dead. But now...I want to live for someone who is alive...And it scares me, because all he really wants is me, and I'm not sure who that is."

"I hurt God if I hurt myself. If you hurt me, that doesn't do any good! I know you're enjoying it on some level. Don't deny it."

"I keep telling myself I don't belong to you anymore. But every breath I take, I can sense you on the air. Every time I look in the mirror, I expect to see you behind me. This isn't freedom. This is more compelling bondage than when you were alive."

"Who cares? I don't -- or at least, that's what I want you to think, what I so dearly want myself to believe. You see, caring only leads to pain, and I don't want to hurt anymore. I want YOU to hurt."

"I made a grave mistake and you've never let me forget it. I've said I was sorry over and over. I tried to make it up to you, and yet, all you do is haunt my dreams, waking and sleeping. I want you to leave me alone, and yet, I'd die inside if you ever did."

"I have the future at my fingertips, playing out hourly in the recesses of my mind. I can pick and choose the outcomes and shape it to my will like an all-powerful, untouchable wizard... If only I could truly be like that, instead of being simply me."

"Who am I? How can you know if I don't? I need you to tell me who I am... I need you to help me breathe. Here. Now. In the darkness that used to be my heart."

"I guess you could say I stand somewhere between believing in 'good' and not caring. Heh, there's no such thing. It's only what you want yourself. I like the way your thoughts taste, therefor I'm allowed to mess with your head."


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