Remember Me?

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Notes: A poem fic! Yes, I wrote the poem. It didn't flow real well on it's own, so I turned it into a poem fic.

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"Hello, Xellos"

You'll never see me, never know I'm watchin'
Till it's too late to stop me, to late to spin

He spins, surprised. He didn't see me, he'll never see me. The Trickster never even knew I had approached until I spoke his name, a mockery lilting along the very word. His eyes pop open in shock, slitted eyes wide with startlement.

These eyes are the devil's, these eyes burn with hate
Your end is soon coming, 'cause my looks will maim

The devil-may-care look is back in a flash, though, even my own warped eyes can't startle this Mazoku for long. Eyes that burn in eternal flame, the eyes of the cursed that stare from my equally warped face. Crimson, Mazoku slitted pupils within bright, ice blue wreathed in pure, midnight black.

I'm smiling for your death, you conniving bastard, for your own sweet release. I can end it for you ... want me to? You said you'd do anything for me once, even sell your soul. Well, bastard darling, I've come to collect.

'Cause we're the devil, we're the moonlight's blade
A moment's hesitation will seal your own grave

Xellos opens his eyes again as I step close, face serious as he watches every movement. Can he guess what I'm thinking? Can he know what I know? Is it worth the chance if I make a mistake and ruin my one and only chance?

It is, it's worth anything to make him suffer even a fragment of what I've suffered.

He hesitates as I step close and then into his arms. Automatically, he lifts arms to hold me close, sliding his hands around to rest on my waist, his staff clasped in one hand, lightly touching my back. More the fool, Xellos dear. You should have vanished when you had the chance, you should have run.

Come and dance in the moonlight
Come and play with the knife
But there's danger in dancing, in prancing all night
Dancing with us will soon end your life

I wonder if he realizes what I'm planning. The horrible death I've thought up just for him, just so he can feel what I felt when he left me like that, a broken and bleeding nothing.

You hold me like you used to, like before you betrayed me, Mazoku scum, but you don't even get that I'm not here for your affection or for your love. I'm here to make you suffer. Make you scream, make you hate me as much as I hate you. You promised me everything and everything I'll take. Then I'll kill you.

Come dance with me, Xellos.

Come prance with death.

Come embrace the knife I'll be shoving through your chest.

You soul is our feast, your heart is our throne
We're waiting and watching for a single moan

I'm going to sate the raging desires within me with your blood, my love, just as you did with me, telling me sweet lies of love and hope before you left me to die. Just one little moan, just one, let me know you've figured it out, Trickster. How else will I know if you've kept your wits?

Your our own heart's desire
Our very escape
Sweetly you loved us
Now sweetly you hate

The sweet memories of that time sweep over me. Times when you held me and we'd curl up under a tree somewhere - far away from anyone else - just so we could share one another's company. I remember everything, Xellos, everything.

I remember your jealousy when the princess or the swordsman got in between you and me, even for a moment, because you had claimed me as yours. I remember the times we'd make out with no other reason than just to kiss, or the conversations in the darkest of nights after we'd made love and just held each other. I remember you saving my life and me saving yours. I remember when you betrayed me. Oh yes, I remember that most of all.

You've broken the lock on the darkness within
You've shattered the seal that kept us from sin
Now you'll pay the price for that terrible deed
You'll be paying in blood, as your own heart bleeds

Had you asked me, I would have cut out my heart and given it to you on a golden platter. Just like you promised me anything. But you never asked, you just took me and screwed me over, laughing as I screamed. I trusted you and you betrayed me. I will never trust you again. Never.

Remember those days and nights afterward? Remember the questions they threw at me over what had happened between us? Remember? Of course you do, you were there the whole time, laughing behind your hand as I suffered from the plague you let loose inside me. You smiled when I screamed as they consumed me from the inside, when the voices shouted at me as they tore apart my mind. You still flirted all the while, knowing I hated your touch and your voice, knowing the lock in which I had sealed the darkness was shattered beyond repair. A seal you shattered. You broke me like a toy that displeased you.

What did I do?

Or did you do it because you never loved me in the first place?

I believe the latter. You only toyed with me.

Shattered in your very own blood
Forged from your very own need
We're the vengeance that's waiting
The very vengeance you freed

Look upon your destroyer, bastard. Look at the one you twisted when you betrayed. They left me afterward too. They all left me to follow your stupid games. Leaving me when the silvered blackness started to seep from the stones and mar the blue, left me when my eyes became warped from the war within, when the stubby ridge of spikes grew along my back and my hands clawed, when my hair changed to silver.

You broke the seal on the demon.

You shattered the lock on the golem.

You tortured and killed the human.

Happy now?

You better hope so, love, because I'm going to kill you.

The golem is smiling
The demon smirks with glee
It's your own fault, you bastard
That in our eyes, your death you'll see

I smile, though it comes out more like a smirk. Closing my eyes to slits of tri-colored fire I slide my arms around his waist and cuddle closer, yearning to be held one last time before I destroy him, yearning to capture a moment of the sweet past. His face is a question but he hugs me closer, tangling his fingers in my hair, and murmuring in my ear things I don't bother to listen to.

I lift my head from his chest, inhaling the scent of spice and mystery before looking up into his beautiful, gemstone eyes. My purpose shines from my own eyes as I open them, knowing the hatred in them is obvious even if he wasn't a Mazoku. Oddly, he just smiles sadly, lifting a gloved hand to touch my cheek, stroking as he used to. How dare he show no fear! Damn you! Show some fear! Let me see you suffer like I did!

I flare, spinning the kill spell in my mind, targeting his twisted, black heart. I smile darkly and release it, killing him instantly. His whispered words hang in the air as he falls, crumpling into a heap as his staff clatters to the ground, the red stone darkening to black.

Understand what I'm asking, what I'm offering to you
What are your choices, what will you do?
There's nothing you can offer us, no bargain to plead
We're waiting and watching, stalking to make that black heart bleed

The words he whispered to me come back like a shot to the heart, almost too loud in my divided mind.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you then. That I made you hurt and suffer for so long and never made it go away. I'm sorry that you've been destroyed inside and out. I do love you, I've always loved you, I will always love you. Forever, mine own. I know you hate me. I know you do this to stop the ragings inside you. Kill me, beloved. Kill me and free yourself from the ghosts I haunted you with. Goodbye, my heart. Remember I love you, that I never forgot you. His own damn, lying, babbling voice.

Why am I crying? This is what I wanted, right? Right?

Another tear slides down my cheek. My voice is the barest of whispers when I finally speak.

I'm your soul's best secret
The demon that waits
Your swift, silent stalker
That you see far too late

"Goodbye, Xellos."

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Notes

Confused anyone?

Well ... here's the background:

Xellos actually has a heart, but one that's only shown with Zelgadis. They're madly in love. And I mean LOVE. Well, it's all sweet and mushy and stuff except Xellos gets scared of the intensity of the feeling for Zel, so he basically betrays him. Torture, rape, stuff like that ... bad stuff ... then left him to die. Well, he survived. But whatever Xellos did to him broke open the seals on the demon and golem personalities within Zel, basically driving him this close to insane. With the three parts of him fighting all the time, his body changed according to who was in control at the time ... therefor the skin, eye, and physical changes. Zel hated Xellos after he betrayed him, hated him as much as he had loved him, so he finds a way to get back at him for making him suffer. One thing: Xellos still loved Zel, but since Zel hated him, he never tried to make up because he thought he'd be hated even more. Which brings us to this fic ...

Hope I didn't confuse you all (probably did) ... ^^;;;;

Oh yeah, and since Zel's always looking for a cure and stuff, it's possible that he found a spell to kill Mazoku with. shrugs

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