Chapter 6: Are You Happy Now?


Notes

Are You Happy Now is by Michelle Branch.


Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

"Kyttí?"

I looked up. "Yes, Reno?"

"Um, there is something that I really need to tell you." The look on his face told me that he didn't want to say what he was about to say.

"What is it, Reno? What's wrong?" He suddenly averted his gaze down at the ground. I could swear that I saw something fall from his face. I wasn't sure, but it looked like a tear.

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now

I got up, fully intent on going to Reno and asking him if he was okay.

"You might want to stay in your seat for this," he said, so I sat back down. He took a deep breath. "I... I can't see you anymore." Did I just hear what I think I just heard? No, no, I couldn't have just heard that. Someone, please tell me that I did not just hear that.

Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased

I got up again, but he stopped me. "Don't," he said. "Please, just don't. Stay there." My eyes are burning as I try to hold back the tears.

"Why?"

"I can't tell you that." My bottom jaw feels like it is about to break away from the top and the rest of my skull and fall one the floor. He can't tell me. I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I could swear that that was what he had just said to me. Oh, Reno; ain't no way in hell I'm leaving this subject alone.

I've had that all I can take
And I'm about to break

"What the hell do you mean 'You can't tell me'? Like hell you can't fucking tell me!" When he looked up his eyes were glazed over, so he was probably trying to hold back some tears. I'm struggling myself to hold my own back.

"I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Yes you can; you just refuse to do so."

Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?

"It's for your protection. I don't want to risk you getting hurt."

"Why, Reno? What are you saying?" I pause. "Is... is someone threatening my life? How am I gonna get hurt, Reno?"

"Listen," he said as he turned toward the door, "I've already said too much as it is. I'm gonna go, okay? I'm sorry." Is this some kind of dream. No, is this some kind of nightmare? If it is, will someone please wake me up?

Do you really have everything you want?
You can never give somethin' you ain't got.
You can't run away from yourself

I got up and walked around the desk over to Reno. As he was about to leave, I grabbed his wrist. "I'm not done with you, Reno. Tell me," I growl.

"I CAN'T! You're making this harder than it has to be."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" I pause and let a tear slip from one of my eyes. "Don't do this to me, Reno. Please -– I need to know."

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

The door opened to reveal Tseng in its doorway. "Is there a problem?"

"No, Tseng. Get out."

"Excuse me, Kyttí?"

God, Tseng, not now. "Tseng I said get out," I snarl. He doesn't look one bit affected by my tone of voice, but decides to leave anyway. "Answer me."

"I. Can't. Tell you, Kyttí. If I do, he'll kill you."

"Who, Reno? Who will kill me?"

"Kyttí, I said can't tell you," he said as he jerked his arm out of my grip.

"Damnit, Reno. I NEED TO KNOW!" He doesn't respond; he just leaves.

No, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me

"Why?" I ask the door as I walk up to it and put my forehead on it. I'm starting to whisper now. "Why would you do something like this to me, Reno? You and I both know that I can't handle this." In frustration I punch the door, putting a hole in it in the process. I back up after yanking my hand from the hole. I'll probably have to pay for that, but I couldn't give a rat's hairy ass right about now.

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now
Come on tell it to my face or have I been replaced
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

"I love you, Reno," I whisper as I sink to my knees on the floor. "That's why it hurts so bad." I'm sobbing now, but tears aren't actually falling from my face.

"Kyttí?" Tseng asked as he opened the door. "Are you still here?"

"Yes." I say, still on the ground.

"Are you alright?"

"Um, listen Tseng. I'm sorry for -- " I stop as Tseng walks over to my spot on the floor and kneels down. He lifts up my chin and examines my face.

And I, I've given up this game
And leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care

He must notice that I'm hurting right about now, because he just hugs me. I hug him back, because I need hug. I'm glad that he didn't ask me what was wrong. He probably knows anyway. I'm sobbing more as he rubs my back. "Shhh," He whispers. He tries to calm me by whispering reassurances in my ear, but it's too late. I can't stop these tears from falling. God, Reno: if you only knew what you had just done to me. Tell me, Reno: are you happy now?

You took all there was to take
And left me with an empty plate
And you don't care about it
Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?


Notes

The way the lyrics are written in the story is not the way they are portrayed in the song itself.


Chapter 7   |   Fanfiction