Chapter Three: Achy Breaky Heart


"Say, Zelgadis, I thought you were only part golem, part demon and part human." Ameria asked as they trudged up the slight slope leading to the village where the Golem maker lived. Zelgadis, slightly in the lead, turned back to stare at Ameria. He'd mostly tuned out her seemingly endless chatter, but this last observation struck him. "I am."

"But that Diol said you were part Troll. At first, he didn't even pick up the Golem bit. When he said the word he almost mumbled it too." She stopped to pick a flower, her words fading in volume into a mumble herself.

"I know. That's why I asked him to clarify it." Zelgadis replied. "I thought he might know what type of Golem. Yet if I did have Troll bits that might explain why I've never been able to cure myself. I never diagnosed my condition properly."

"I see. So what sort of Golem do you think you are?" Ameria asked. "Rock Golem? Mudd Golem? Wood?"

"That is what I was asking him before that Rory Gabriev interrupted." Zelgadis explained. "I've always thought stone golem, because of my skin."

Ameria sighed. "Rory certainly looks like Gourry doesn't he? I think Gourry mentioned having a brother once, but I don't remember really whether he did."

Zelgadis pulled out a dagger, sharpening it on his thumb. "I wouldn't put it past Gourry to forget he had one."

Ameria nodded at that. "Maybe we should mention that the next time we see Rory."

"I don't plan on seeing him again, Ameria." Zelgadis replied.

"But you promised to return that paper you stole!" Ameria asked surprised.

"I didn't promise anything. I am doing as he requested because it seems like the best choice I have at the moment." He thought of the words on the card. Who exactly was this Rory Gabriev? Zelgadis felt there might be more to him than met the eye. "Are you finished picking flowers?" All day she had been like this, stopping by small animals or pretty flowers or admiring the terrain around them. Usually he traveled just to get from one point to another, never for enjoying the scenic beauty. With Ameria traveling with him, he'd found it hard to ignore the nature around him. Strange, he thought, but as irritatingly slow as traveling with her could be, he had enjoyed all the side roads she'd dragged him on. She also had a way of commenting on things that made it hard for him not to laugh, though he always managed to avoid it. When you're made of stone, laughing can hurt.

Ameria sighed sticking a flower in her hair. "I suppose. Do you want one?" He shook his head sharply. She smiled, obviously picturing him with flowers in his hair.

"I want to get on with this, Ameria." He said his patience vanishing like the sun around them. He started striding towards the city.

"Zelgadis - wait - there's a tavern there." Ameria called to her companion as they entered the town. The sun set softly in the background throwing everything into eerie shadows, but the lamp over the tavern made that building look cheery and inviting.

"Yes, Ameria, there is." Zelgadis replied as if talking to a small child. "But we are not looking for a tavern."

Ameria bit her lip. "I'm sure he doesn't mean to be so rude. He's probably forgotten I need to eat more frequently than he does." She took a breath and then replied. "I know. But a tavern is the best place to find news and gossip, Zelgadis. We don't' know this Galia Einberg that Rory Gabriev suggested, so don't you think we should ask about him?"

Zelgadis looked at Ameria a bit stunned. "That's actually a good idea." He turned towards her. Perhaps he owed her an apology, but what could he say?

"And besides" Ameria added before he could combine the words to apologize. "I'm hungry."

Zelgadis swallowed what he'd been about to say and shook his head. "Fine." He replied.

Ameria entered the restaurant first, her shadow stretching across its interior with the last patch of sunlight behind of her. Despite that bit of light, the room had a dim unwashed look that taverns so frequently have. Considering that tavern food can sometimes look as scary as an upset lesser Mazokou, the dim light probably serves a vital function. At the same time, Ameria found the contrast between the last of that afternoon sun and the dimness too much for her navigation skills and she went careening into a very unlucky waitress.

Actually, Ameria did not understand just how unlucky this particular waitress was. Despite getting knocked over by Ameria, into a potted plant, and then coated by the steaming stew she'd been carrying, the waitress was actually experiencing a highlight of her day. At least, coated with stew as she was, she was sitting down. She could stop thinking about all the things she had to do that day. She drifted into blissful unconsciousness, all thoughts of her father's meal, the debts still unpaid, and what time she needed to get to her next job fading away. All she saw was the deep black usually reserved for the few precious hours that she could sleep each day. She smiled.

Just as she felt that blissful embrace of night, something sharply pulled her back as a recovery spell played on her. She looked up at another woman about her own age, who seemed to be vaguely familiar.

"Are you all right?" The woman asked leaning forward.

She nodded, still somewhat stunned. "You're back?"

Ameria frowned at the young red-haired woman. "Back? I've never been in this town."

The woman blushed. "I must have you confused with someone else. Please forgive me."

"It happens a lot." Ameria responded. "Especially after you've taken a blow to the head. Are you sure you're all right? Can I help you with something? I'm afraid it was my fault you fell."

"I'll be all right." The woman said. She'd learned to be wary of strangers offering help the hard way. Somehow, the help just made things worse. "I am almost done with my shift anyway."

Ameria shook her head. "No, you must rest! I can help you get to your home!"

Zelgadis cleared his throat, self consciously clutching his hood closer around his face. "Ameria, I'm here to find Galia Einberg and not waste time with - "

"Galia Einberg?" The girl said, her eyes welling up with tears. "Oh no, please, whatever he's done now, please, I will see he pays for it eventually. He is making Golems again now..."She fought tears, hanging her head low thinking. "I'm so so so unfortunate!"

Ameria squeezed the girls arm in a reassuring way, completely unaware of the pain that caused, and comforted the girl. "Oh, don't worry. We're here for his help, not because of something he's done." Yet Ameria felt her calling as a Champion of Justice so strongly that she couldn't help but ask "But...what do you think he did?"

The girl shook her head. "I don't know! I never know, but somehow...Oh, forgive me. I am being rude. I will show you to him later after I finish serving the last table."

"No - let me!" Ameria said darting into the kitchen. The sound of breaking glass echoed into the main room as Ameria ran out seconds later. A metallic pot followed barely missing the unlucky waitress head as she'd finally stood up again. "On second thought, I'll just wait outside." Ameria called as she zigzagged out the door.

Zelgadis sighed and followed. "Ameria, you need to think before you act."

She frowned. "I know that Zelgadis." She rubbed her boot in the ground. "I do think, its just that I never think that things are going to turn out like that!"

Zelgadis hid a smile. He always thought that things ended up like that with Ameria.

Seconds later the waitress appeared, untying her stained apron. "Oh! You're still here." She said sounding slightly disappointed. The last thing she'd wanted was guests, when her father's dinner still needed to be made, and there wasn't enough food even for that now that she's spilled the left-over stew.

"So, you can take us to Galia Einberg?" Zelgadis asked as Ameria continued to sulk.

"Yes. But please, what do you want with him? He does not make Golems to order any more - he absolutely refuses and he only makes what he wants." The girl explained.

"I can't discuss it." Zelgadis explained. "Except with him. Who are you?"

"I'm Laia Einberg. His daughter." The waitress replied, ( thinking to herself "I am truly truly unfortunate.")Laia shifted into a brighter more polite expression "Please, follow me." She didn't bother to ask their names, because she was too occupied with her lamentations.

They wandered a fair bit away from the village, into the country side on the other side of the small village. Ameria could barely make out two giant cliffs rising up to shelter the village, each capped by huge castles.

"Wow, who lives up there?" She asked pointing. "The Lord of the town? But why are there two?"

Laia flinched. "Lord Hailsen is there, and Lord Granion over there. They cannot agree who owns the town. So they both have castles."

"Oh." Ameria added. "Perhaps I could help them settle this owner - "

"You can sight-see later Ameria." Zelgadis commented. "After you think about it."

Ameria colored and changed the subject. "So, are you sure we won't be imposing to come to your house like this?"

Laia fought the urge to say yes. After all that would not have been polite. How unlucky she was! "Oh, no, Father loves visitors. He says they inspire him."

Ameria smiled. "You are so lucky to have a father who's a celebrated artist! It is so Great!"

Laia closed her eyes. "Yes, of course it's great....I am so lucky of course." She repeated with a hazy voice that gave no credulity to her words. "This is our house...."

"I'm home." She called as she knocked. The door seemingly opened on its own.

A small cute doll of a super-deformed Lina stood there, its arms barely able to open the door. The doll bowed and stepped aside as if to bid them enter. As it moved they could hear a small "piko-piko" sounds from its every little step.

Ameria and Zelgadis looked at each other and then at the doll. They shrugged and then entered into the small neat wooden room. An old man was seated in the middle of the room, by the fire light, his hands busy at work on a small doll.

"Piko-Piko, close the door." He said. "How was your day, Laia?"

The doll shut the door with a very cute hop kick. It turned around with its hands clasped as if announcing itself ready for the next task.

"Father, we have guests." Laia said.

Her father looked upset. "Guests? I'm working Laia - no guests! I haven't had a new design in three years, and you distract me now!"

"I know." She hung her head. "I thought they might help."

He looked up at Ameria. "You look familiar....but no, you won't do, your bone structure is not right at all."

Ameria's eyebrow twitched. "What do you mean not right?"

"To be my new model. You there, remove that cowl."

"Your model!?" Ameria asked surprised.

"Your more Huey's type, but he's not here right now. Go on then, you, remove that hood." Galia ordered.

Zelgadis hesitated. "I'm not here to model for you."

"Then leave! I'm too busy to bother with uninteresting looking people."

Ameria fumed. "Uninteresting looking!?"

The Piko-Piko jump twirled and opened the door.

"I've come to see you about a spell." Zelgadis explained.

"No spells. I just work Golems. Piko-Piko, show the guests out."

The little Lina-doll nodded and then jumped forward into Ameria's knees, pushing Ameria to the ground face first. The doll then dragged Ameria out by her legs to the porch. Then, the doll swung her around and threw her into the night. Next, the doll mechanically made its way over to Zelgadis.

Zelgadis calmly put his hand on the doll's head, so that its short little arms couldn't reach him.

"This is ridiculous Einberg. If you would listen - " Zelgadis started as suddenly the arms elongated and stretched and grabbed his neck flipping him out the door.

"HAH!!!" Einberg shouted dropping his controller. "The new improved mini-Piko Piko-Lina-chan with extendible arms!!" He laughed for a full three seconds before his throat closed painfully with the grip of Zelgdis's stone hands.

An irritated, uncloaked Zelgadis raised the old man into the air. "So you wanted to see what I look like?" He said quietly.

Laia fainted.

Ameria entered, with the Piko-Piko Lina-Chan safely tucked under her arm. Its arms and legs were not working now that the controller lay uselessly beyond Einberg's grasp.

"ISOIFDIU" Einberg gurgled.

"Zel - he's turning blue." Ameria protested.

Zelgadis slowly lowered the man. "I was recommended to see you about my condition."

"You - you are very cool looking!" The man coughed. "Fierce, and unusual - but you're already part golem. I can't use another golem as a model!"

"I don't want to model for golems." Zelgadis said. "I don't want to be a golem."

"OH." Einberg looked confused. "Then why are you here?"

"Because Rory Gabriev suggested - "

"Rory Gabriev!? Now there is a model!" Einberg clasped his hand to his heart. "But he wouldn't sit for me! He said he was a businessman, not a model! Has he changed his mind?"

Zelgadis raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't know. He just told me to come see you."

Einberg nodded. "So let's see your construction." He began to poke and prod a very embarrassed Zelgadis. "Impressive. Ingenious."

"Can you do anything about it?" Zelgadis asked at last.

"No, but you would make a great doll.." Einberg sighed. "You're under a transformation spell."

"I knew that."

"I haven't seen magic like this in years. Not since Rezo the great priest came through here - I have a golem of him, by the way, but that lousy assistant of mine stole the notes Rezo left "

"Rezo?"

"Yes. He was a great designer even though he was blind! I didn't care for his line of research magic, but he had genius. Such a sad fate...he was killed by Lina Inverse you know - the model for that doll over there. A very destructive girl, but such a great model. That Lina doll was my best-selling creation for years. Every little girl had to have them - fights broke out in the kingdom! I was in demand, and then...and then!." The man's face contorted. "BAH!!" He spat and knocked the bowl of paint over.

Laia slowly rose off the ground. "Please Father!!" She looked at the mess he'd made.

"But then Lina was eclipsed by the Ferbeenies!." Einberg threw his hands into his hair and began to tear it.. "My own apprentice betrayed me! Henson stole my magic to make the dolls talk - say hello Piko-Piko!"

"Hello." The doll said in a cute voice that did sound surprisingly like Lina, only three octaves higher. "Piko-Piko"

"Now...Now...It is war!" Galia swirled. He threw his hands up into the air, as one leg stomped onto a stool "I cannot stop until I have a new design."

"Galia is the greatest." A little Piko-Piko Lina-chan said appearing from nowhere on Galia's shoulder. Another appeared. "Galia is a genius."

Laia closed her ears. "I am so unfortunate." She thought as the sound of dancing Piko-Piko feet began to drown all thought.

"If we help you find a design, would you help Zelgadis with his condition?" Ameria shouted over the noise.

"Of course I would try then" Galia said, his words shutting down the dancing. "But I need something impossibly cute by the Toy Design contest on Tuesday. I have to win back my market! But what could be cuter than my Piko-Piko Lina Chan?"

As if on cue the little doll danced a jig. "Fireball" It called as a bright light appeared and did nothing.

Ameria frowned. "I don't know. But we'll help you find it!" She jumped onto a table. "Don't worry - if there is a cuter toy model out there - I Ameria Will Testla Sairune will help you find it! By the stars above that shine upon us, by the moon that glows high above, I will not rest until I find you the cutest toy model ever!!"

Zelgadis sighed. He and Laia both thought pretty much the same thing. "Why was fate being so cruel?"

Zelgadis tugged Ameria's arm. "Ameria, haven't you forgotten something?"

Ameria tucked a corner of her mouth in as she pointed her finger at him. "Zelgaids, how can you be so selfish? I know you want to find a cure, but you've searched for it for how many years now? What is a few days of trying to help this man? Besides, he won't help you until this problem of his is solved, will he?"

Zelgadis clenched a fist. "I could convince him."

"You won't need to. How hard can it be to find something cute for him to base a doll upon?"


Somewhere around sunrise Ameria admitted defeat. Her eyes red and half-slitted she decided that working with Galia Einberg was not going to be as easy as she'd thought. Then, her head hit the table sending the last of the small forest creatures she'd gathered scurrying back into the night from which she'd lured them.

Zel sighed as he watched Einberg storming up the stairs. Laia had graciously set up two cots in the main room for Zelgadis and Ameria, but Ameria had been up all night finding creatures. Zelgadis swung out of his cot, folded the sheet back, and seeing that Ameria was completely out of it, changed back to his regular day clothes relying on his Chimera speed to keep his decency. Ameria never stirred.

He walked over to her, picked her up, and dumped her unceremoniously on her unslept in cot. She certainly did try hard, he thought. Of course, if she thought more she wouldn't have to try so hard. "I don't know why Einberg couldn't make a doll out of you." Zelgadis smiled. "that Lina doll turned out very cute." Of course, he found the real Lina pretty cute as well so perhaps he was biased. "In any case," Zelgadis continued reasoning to himself" "if we are going to help Einberg produce something more popular than the Ferbeenie, I'll need to see one." Especially if the man who made them had taken Rezo's notes on Golem production. Zelgadis smiled dangerously.


Lord Hailsen frowned. Years had gone by since the last showdown with Granion. While the idea of an army of golems had turned out to be a bad one, and he'd since abandoned the idea of taking over the town or world, he'd never lost the desire to one-up Granion. Like most people, after experiencing near death, he'd focused more on his family. And like most people, that meant trying to prove who could spoil their child more By a weird twist of fate, his son Eio was born on the same day as Granian's daughter, Eiette. Hailsen looked out of his balcony to the eyesore that was Granian's castle. How he hated that ugly building and its equally ugly owner. Hailsen threw his head back and laughed.

The sound echoed all the way to where Granion sat on a chair, looking at Hailsen mansion and thinking very much the same thing. How he detested that odious man. What was he planning now? It did not matter. His daughter's birthday party was only days away, and Granion vowed that no one would dare turn his invitation away. He laughed quietly. All he needed was to find the perfect toy, so that his daughter would have it. He's sponsored the contest for toy designers with the express purpose of finding the absolute best toy.


Standing in the town square, in a spot with incredible acoustic reception, a thin young man dropped the small bit of soup he'd been nursing. The spectacles balanced on the end of his spindly nose fell off. He was in trouble now. The two laughs surrounded him, warning him that things had just gone from worse to even worse. Whatever would he do?

Beside him a little purple creature that looked a lot like a rounded furry gigantic jelly bean flopped forward to catch his glasses with its soft furry body. "Master, Ferbeenie scared?" It said.

He sighed and petted its head. Everything was going so wrong. He threw his head into his hands and fought back the urge to scream in frustration.

"Excuse me." A cool voice said.

The young man looked up so fast he got dizzy and fell back into the pool. A second later he jumped out, wet and embarrassed but politely apologetic.

"Please, may I help you?" The man asked as he bowed.

"You're Kermit Henson right?" Zelgadis asked the man.

The man nodded. "Who are you?" He stuttered.

"The townspeople tell me you invented the Ferbeenie?"

"uh...yes...I did." Kermit Henson said his knees knocking faster. "Do you want one?"

"No. I want to know if you used a certain technique to make them." Zelgadis replied. "They're not like other golems. They're soft." The little Ferbeenie hopped onto Zelgadis shoulder and kissed the edge of the hood covering Zelgadis' face. Zelgadis picked the creature up and dropped it onto the edge of the fountain. "They're each different, yet they're all based on the same model."

"How I made them??" Kermit's nose began to drip. "I can't reveal my secrets."

"I see. Then let me." Zelgadis said without lowering his cowl. "I've examined one of these creatures this morning. You didn't carve these creatures. Yet they're not natural, creatures...they're alive without being alive."

Kermit began to twitch uncontrollably. "uh...What" COUGH "Are you " SNEEZE "Suggesting?""

"The truth. You used a transformation spell on these, didn't you?" Zelgadis asked as he stepped back. "They're not true golems at all."

Kermit fell to his knees. "Please, I don't know how you found out, but please! You cannot tell anyone - I never meant for it to happen..." Kermit flushed. "Everything is a disaster! All I wanted was to gain Einberg's approval, and impress Laia, but now Einberg despises me!" The man began to wail, the little creature also began to wail. "All I wanted to do was make a pet for Laia..."

"But to transform live creatures?" Zelgadis frowned.

Kermit hung his head. "A trader from Mipross Island sold me a few of these creatures. I thought I would give them to Laia - but they kept dying if they wandered outside and that would make Laia sad. So I thought, if I could enhance them, then they wouldn't die." He hugged the little Ferbeenie to him. "I made them talk, made them bounce...so they could protect her, my Laia...but then Eiette and Eio both saw the prototype and demanded that I make some for them. Before I knew it the whole town demanded them!" The man weeped some more. "And I didn't have a choice! If Laia found out what I've done, she would never speak to me again!"

Zelgadis nodded. "You took a creature and deformed it. I can see that might make her - "

Kermit looked up. "Oh no, who could care about a thing like that?. They're improved now. No, its because I've lied to her, to everyone - they think I carved these golems, and that I have talent. but the truth is "

"The truth is you took another living creature and made it a toy." Zelgadis growled. "that is unforgivable." Zelgadis winced at his choice of words. Ameria must be having an effect on him, he thought, but he was for some reason, extremely angry at the toy-maker in front of him.

"Why are you so offended!" Kermit said. His unruly dark hair stood on end. "I mean, its not like you're part of the Golem-carver's guild - who are you anyway?"

Zelgadis threw back his hood. Kermit screeched. "I'm just another toy."

"WHAT - - what..." Kermit fainted back into the pool. He woke a second later, spitting water. "You...you...what kind of monster are you?"

Zelgadis sighed. "That evil spell you found, the one you used on the creatures, I need it."

Kermit instinctively clutched a small dark leather bound book. "My spells? They're not evil...they're from the Great Priest Rezo. And I refuse to give them to you. They're mine."

"Then I'll just take them." Zelgadis smiled. He leaned forward and touched the man's forehead. "Sleep."

The man slumped down. Zelgadis turned, and suddenly found himself covered with the small furry jelly-bean shaped creatures. Each was about the size of an extremely large grapefruit, so their motion forced him down to the ground. He couldn't see - luckily, he didn't really need to breathe, but he still found it difficult to move.

"You no hurt Kermee ..." They chanted. "You hurt Kermee You bad thing"

Zelgadis couldn't move his hands to cast a spell. He tried rolling, but the creatures didn't squish. They flattened and then popped back to their normal size.

He was saved when a soft melody began to play. The creatures each slid off him and formed a circle and began to dance, their squat bodies undulating with the tune of the guitar strumming.

"Zelgadis." Rory Gabriev said as he walked forward. "Would you like some assistance? I think the situation is overwhelming you."

Behind him, Timbre leaned against a wall, intently playing the intricate combination of notes that seemed to entrance the ferbeenies. Ferbeenies slid out of every cottage, and kids began to wail as their toys left them. Slowly the town square began to fill with kids calling for their Ferbeenies. The kids watched in awe as the Ferbeenies began to form a long line, each moving in time with the music, shaking their lower bodies left, then right, next a lean back, followed by a shuffle forward, finished with a hop then turn, and they'd start again. Their eyes rolled around in their heads, and ultimately, they all fell limp, exhausted by the motions of the dance.

Immediately all the children began to cry. "You bullies!" shouted one bulky kid.

"Eio - is this your fault!?" A young girl shouted as she pounded one fist into the other.

"No, Eiette. Its that weird blue guy's fault. Let's get him - "

The kids began to swarm forward.

Zelgadis dashed forward, grabbed the book of spells, and headed back to the Einberg's house, followed by an equally fast Timbre and Rory. Somehow they managed to lose the swarm of children.

"So Zelgadis, I think you owe me a favor now." Rory said as they stopped outside the house.

"I didn't ask for help." Zelgadis said. He looked down, avoiding Rory's eyes. "But thank you."

Rory smiled. "I knew you were different than Rezo."

Zelgadis shrugged. "I wasn't sure if you were."

Rory leaned his head to the side. "So are you convinced I'm not?"

Zelgaids smiled slightly. "Yes. That doesn't mean I can trust you."

Rory nodded. "You're right. You can't." Rory drew out his sword. "The piece of paper, please."

Ameria threw open the door, which managed to knock Timbre off the porch, into a statue below. Timbre grinned as he realized it was a statute of a very full-bodied woman.

"Zelgadis, are you back?" Ameria said, stopping short as she noticed the sword against Zelgadis' throat.

"Oh, its you Rory." She sated flatly. "You missed lunch Zelgadis." She said, completely calm, utterly ignoring the implied threat to Zelgadis. "Do you want lunch Rory, I'm sure the Einberg's wouldn't mind. You're back late, Zelgadis, but I'm glad you're back safely."

Zelgadis shrugged. "I had things to do."

"The paper." Rory repeated forcefully. "I'm afraid that I will pass on lunch."

"That's too bad." She waited as they stood there. "You know, that sword won't do anything to him His skin is made of stone. The only thing that would cut it is Gourry's sword of light, but - "

"Gourry - " Rory lowered his sword. "Gourry Gabriev?"

"I was going to ask you, are you his brother?" Ameria asked. "Cause you sure do look like him."

Rory frowned shaking his head. "Gourry...he's alive?"

"So, is he your brother?" Ameria insisted.

"I had a twin brother named Gourry...but he died years ago in a shipwreck...vanished along with the family heirloom sword." Rory said confused. "But you sound as if you've met him."

"Yes. We traveled together." Ameria said. "Zelgadis came too."

"This is unexpected." Rory said, sheathing his sword. "Do you know where he is?"

Ameria shook her head. "He's traveling with Lina Inverse."

"WHAT!?" Rory asked surprised. "Inverse?"

"Dude, isn't that like, your ex-girlfriend's name?" Timbre said finally prying himself away from the statute of the woman.

"You and Lina?!" Ameria sputtered. Zelgadis merely raised an eyebrow.

"No. I've never met Lina Inverse. I've heard of her - who hasn't? - no. I believe my assistant is referring to Lina's sister." Rory shivered. "which I've explicitly told him to never do again."

"Dude, like a majorly bad break-up." Timbre whispered to Zelgadis.

"You're changing the subject though." Rory said to Ameria. "So Gourry is alive. Why did he not contact our family?! I've been searching for him for years!"

Zelgadis shrugged. "It probably didn't occur to him."

"Didn't occur to him? Who could be stupid enough to forget to tell his family he was still alive?!"

"Uh - Dude?!" Timbre tried to interrupt.

Ameria sighed. "Gourry would. He's really good with a sword though."

"And Lina Inverse...traveling with her?" Rory shivered. "He must really have lost his mind instead of his life."

"Lina is not so bad, she's just misunderstood." Ameria argued. "Just like Zelgadis."

"The only one who misunderstands me is you." Zelgadis whispered under his breath.

"Dude's like, look over there." Timbre interrupted again, but utterly failed to catch the attention of the other three.

Zelgadis shot Ameria a look. "Speaking of misunderstandings, I really do not need this paper anymore." Zelgadis said slipping out the drawing. "If that is all you wanted, you can be on your way. Consider it a thank you for the help."

Rory nodded and folded the slip of paper under his belt. "Good. One more mission done."

"EVERYBODY!!" Timbre shouted.

"What?" Rory snapped, his eyes suddenly catching sight of the horde of angry children sweeping forward.

"I think we'd better go greet Einberg." Rory said calmly as he ran into the house at top speed.

"Dude. Right behind you." Timbre said jumping into the house.

Ameria frowned. "Why are all those kids coming here?"

Zelgadis grabbed Ameria's wrist and pulled her inside the cottage. "Its a long story, but I believe they're upset that their toys conked out."

"But why are they coming this way?" Ameria said confused as Zelgadis helped Rory bolt the door.

"Ask Timbre and Rory." Zelgadis said.

The duo sheepishly backed up. "Just a slight problem." Rory said.

"In any case, those toys are really enchanted creatures." Zelgadis said slipping Rezo's notebook out. "apparently, rather like me."

"Why are there children swarming towards the house?" Laia asked as she entered the room. "Why are all the windows boarded up?" She leaned the broom she held against a wall, and she stared. "Rory?! You're back?!" She blushed. She was so unfortunate! He finally returned and she looked like this?! She looked down at her dirt smudged dress and fought the urge to cry.

"Those children are a bit upset." Zelgadis explained. One of the boarded windows bulged inwards with the sound of shattering glass.

Laia lost her fight against the tears. She dropped her head, and sobbed silently. How could they afford new windows?

"We're under attack!?" Galia said throwing open the door of his indoor studio. "Oh! Rory you're back!!"

Rory held up a hand, palm open. "I'm still not modeling for you."

The door pounded inwards.

Ameria frowned. "What are we going to do!?"

Galia laughed. "Its no matter! I've succeeded. I've created the new cute toy!"

He turned towards the cellar. "Come out!!"

Everyone leaned forward watching as the small cute golem figure emerged from the mist. It bowed politely.

"It looks just like the last toy." Ameria said somewhat disappointed. She'd wanted him to do one based on her.

"But its improved! Transforming Cutey-Lina!" Galia shouted as he gripped the small control box. "CHANGE-SPLASH!" He threw some water on the doll.

Suddenly it was no longer the short cute-red-haired sorceress. Somehow, the toy had grown a bit longer, its width morphing into added height. Now it was a perfectly proportioned but very petite (a foot high) woman that looked rather like -

"You - YOU [Edited for decency] " Rory shouted. "You made me a girl!!"

"I did it from memory! Pretty good huh? I knew you would be the perfect model - " Galia smiled. "Go on Cutey Lina - Go impress those kids!"

The Blonde winked and walked towards the door. It threw one leg back and high-kicked the door open. "I the Champion of Justice, will not rest-By the Stars above, by the moon over - I will entertain you!" It said, sounding surprisngly like Ameria.

"That's not all - " Galia smiled. "That's just the cold-water change! Watch this."

The kids had backed off from the pretty doll. The oldest boys were drooling, the girls were admiring her dress.

"She's so pretty - "Girls exclaimed.

"WOW." The boys exclaimed.

"I want to be her" Eiette said.

"Man, I want to play with her" Eio snickered. Eiette bopped him over the head.

"She's mine."

"No Mine." Eio complained. Einberg threw the hot-water onto the doll. Out of nowhere it generated armor and drew a sword.

The kids backed up. "It transformed." They all looked at each other . "ITS SO COOL!"

"Yes - Three forms - this is the Cutey Lina with Armor." Galia said proudly. He threw a bucked of ice at the doll. It changed back to the Lina doll.

The doll giggled. "I'm hungry. Feed me or I'll Dragon Slave your behind!"

Galia laughed. "I AM A GENIUS." Laia sighed. He had gotten so much worse after Huey had left. She hung her head in shame. What kind of toy was that?

"There you are precious." Hailsen said pushing Granion out of the way as he reached for his son.

"DADDY. Buy that one." Eio said grabbing his father's ear and shouting into it.

"I want it Father." Eiette said as she grabbed Granion's throat and scrambled onto his back. "I WANT THAT ONE."

"Oh no...Cutey Lina Chan isn't for sale." Galia said. "She's just the prototype."

Rory who was still recovering from the doll's female version of himself, cringed. Would this mad man make more than one of those atrocities?!

"NOT FOR SALE!?" Granion and Hailsen said in unison. "WHAT?!"

Galia backed up. "This could get ugly." He whispered over his shoulder.

"It already has." Zelgadis said looking at the two men with their children. The family genes were not generous and both children looked too much like their parents. But Zelgadis was not thinking of that, he was noticing something else. "The ferbeenies revived."

"FERBEENIE ATTACK." A chorus of small voices said as the Ferbeenies, reinvigorated, careened forward carrying on their bodies the prone form of Kermit Henson on their head. They pushed passed the kids, knocking them over as they swarmed towards Zelgadis. "WE KILL YOU!!" The voices became one as the separate ferbeenies fused into one giant Jelly-bean shaped multi-colored Ferbeenie.

"TIMBRE." Rory shouted, the danger finally snapping him out of his depression.

"Got it Boss." Timbre said starting an obnoxiously cool riff on his guitar. He wasn't the brightest guy out there, but he knew how to play a guitar.

Rory pulled his sword forward and as a sonic boom erupted, the ferbeenies went flying off in all directions. Just as quickly they reassembled into the giant ferbeenie monster.

The children screeched and went running. With one swipe of its giant Ferbeenie hand, the giant ferbeenie crushed the roof of the cottage.

Laia fainted. Galia picked his daughter up. "Now might be a good time to run."

"Digger Bolt" Zelgadis shouted striking the creature again. The lightening zapped it, knocking a few ferbeenies away, but the bulk, still united, oozed forward.

"GO CUTEY LINA SPLASH CHANGE." Galia shouted as he ran away with his daughter.

The doll knocked a glass of cold water onto itself. Instantly it was the blonde-girl again. It's short pony-tailed hair bobbed as it pointed its hand at the monster. "In the name of good toys, I will finish you!" The doll marched forward and was promptly lost in the giant body of the ferbeenies.

"Oh no! Cutely Lina-Chan!" Ameria shouted. She looked utterly upset and dismayed.

"Ameria, it is just a doll." Zelgadis said as he raised his sword, charging it with the astral vine spell to enhance it. "I'd worry about the other ‘toy'".

"But Zelgadis, Galia spent so long working on that toy!"

"it couldn't have been that long. Just last night he didn't have an idea." Zelgadis said emotionlessly as he dodged a swipe of the Ferbeenie.

"oh." Ameria said. "But its still kind of sad."

"Its like sad that we can't beat this lump of Ferbeenies." Timbre yelled with more intelligence than he usually displayed. "Dude, I'm like getting tired of jumping out of its way!"

Rory nodded ... "No matter what we do it just reforms. And the individual parts are too small to strike, even with my sonic-sword attack."

They were now halfway to the village. Sticking out of the top of the Ferbeenie was the Lina-Chan Doll, still in female Rory form, with the short buns on its head. Only its head showed, which gave the monster a strange apperance. The whole Einberg house had already fallen victim to the wrath of the Ferbeenies, and apparently so had the village from the smashed village the group could see.

Rory turned. "We're just running away. That' s not my style. We need to stop it." He considered carefully. "I know you know the Dragon Slave Ameria. Use it."

Ameria frowned. "How'd you know that?." She said reluctantly. "but I'd really rather not. Its too destructive."

Zelgadis nodded. He had to admit if Ameria had control of something, then it was her magic, but even for her, the Dragon Slave would get out of control. It was the nature of the spell. "There has to be some other way to stop it."

"Dude, its like, you its after, so could you like lead it away from the village, or something?" Timbre suggested.

"That's actually not a bad idea, Timbre." Rory said approvingly. "There' s just one problem. What's he going to do when he leads it away?"

"Uh, man, that totally bites. I hadn't thought of that." Timbre frowned. "But isn't that his problem?" T

he Ferbeenie approached, its oozey multi-colored body swaying with the motion.

"I've got it - " Ameria said suddenly. "Galia explained that all the Golems have a magical core that gives them energy. We just need to flow-break that charge, like we could for any enchantment, and they'd be disrupted."

"I don't think so Ameria." Zelgadis said. "These aren't ordinary Golems. Kermit Henson actually transformed real creatures into these creatures. Using one of Rezo's spells. Its quite complicated, looking at these notes."

"Oh no, and Henson is unconscious up there!" Ameria said pointing to where the inventor's still form lay on top of the Ferbeenies (right next to the doll's head).

"Cover me, Timbre." Rory said as he charged with the Sonic Sword again. Timbre obligingly played another set of discordant riffs. While the Ferbeenies fell apart and reassembled, Rory managed to sag the inventor.

"OK, undo the spell on them." He ordered as Ameria revived the man.

"I can't!" He sobbed. "I don't know how! What's happened to the village!?"

"Uh, a slight technical problem." Rory replied. "Look, you've got to do something."

"But what?! I can't do anything!" Henson protested.

"They're angry at me because I hurt you." Zelgadis replied.

"Order them to be quiet then." Rory said.

"Um, BE QUIET FERBEENIE!" Henson said loudly.

The Ferbeenies stopped and shook.

"I think they're going to listen!" Ameria said happily.

Laia smiled as the Ferbeenies dissembled and lovingly began to swarm over Kermit, happy he was alive. "You did it!" She said thankfully. Maybe her life wasn't so bad.

"Laia!!" Kermit said flinging the Ferbeenies aside. "I thought I almost died, and I can't keep my heart hidden anymore. Please, I love you." He fell on his knees before her. "I did all this for you!"

Laia blinked. "Really?" She took a step back, somewhat in shock.

He ran forward to embrace her.

"Wow, that's great, isn't it." Ameria sighed. She loved happy endings, and romantic scenes like this. Laia and Kermit looked like such a sweet couple too -

The Ferbeenies didn't think so. They all saw the embrace and squeaked. "You no hurt kERMIE. NO TOUCH KERMIE!"

"I think they're jealous." Rory commented.

They began to chase Laia, who screamed and dashed off towards her father.

"We'd better help her." Ameria said. "I won't let love be spoiled by jealous toys!"

Laia wailed loudly "BUT I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM!!!" as she batted the Ferbeenies away. Apparently, she didn't think she and Kermit made a cute couple either.

Kermit began to cry even harder. "What?! You're breaking my heart - my aching, breaking heart!"

"She hurt Kermee. She bad girl." The Ferbeenies intoned as one. They oriented towards Laia with a new ferocity, much sharper than their pursuit of Zelgadis.

"I'm leaving. " Zelgadis said with a sigh. "I doubt Einberg can help me. Now that I have Rezo's notes on chimeras, I don't think I need anything else here."

"But - " Ameria jumped in front of him, her arms waving wildly as she pointed to all the destruction behind her. "We can't just leave them like this!"

"Why not?" He said cocking an eyebrow. "They can handle it."

In the background, the little Super-deformed Cutey Lina began to transform and combat the ferbeenies.

Rory nodded. "I believe even my talents are of no use in a situation like this."

Timbre slipped his guitar over his back. "Yeah, this blows. Let's cut and run,du - er, boss."

Ameria took one last look at the confused scene behind her, and sighed. She supposed Zelgadis was right. This town had its own problems to solve, and so did she. She smiled as she looked at Zelgadis. "Then come on everyone - let's hit the road."


Chapter 4   |   Fanfiction