Warning, do not, in any way, shape or form, take the following fanfic seriously, or as an insult. It is a diliberate poke at all us fanfic authors, myself included. I have no malicious intent in writing this fic, I just wanted to write something short because I'm feeling really burnt out, and the pairings discussion set the idea off.
There was once an old geezer who was introduced to one sided love, only he was introduced to it in a very unusual way. He was happily walking through a town on his way to find a sovenier for his wife, when he came across a huge circle of people, each one gazing at the partner on their right, hearts and sugar nearly permiating the air.
"What are those people doing?" he asked a nearby flower vender, and she chuckled.
"See how each person is looking at the other person on their right?" the woman asked. When the man nodded, she continued, "Well, the person that the other person is looking at is the person that that person is in love with."
"Come again?" the man asked, confusion written all over his face until the woman wiped it off for him.
"Ok, let's start with the red headed girl," the woman said, pointing. "Now, she's Lina Inverse, and the guy on her right that she's looking at is Xelloss Metallium. Xelloss is staring at Amelia Saillune, who's starting at Zelgadis Greywyrs, who's staring at Valgarv, who's staring at Garv, who's staring at Xellass Metallium, who's staring at Dynst Breath, who's staring at Deep Sea Dolphin, who's staring at Sherra, who's staring at Milgazia, who's staring at Martina Xoana, who's starting at Zangulus, who's staring at Vrumagun, who's staring at Eris, who's staring at Rezo, who's trying to stare at Koppi Rezo, who's staring at Sylphiel, who's staring at Gourry Gabriev, who's staring at Lina Inverse."
"Who on earth would have thought that all those people would have been in love with each other, but never returned the feelings of the person who loved them?" the man wondered aloud.
"The fanfic authors," the woman answered, nodding her head. "Each and every one of them like to screw around with pairings. What can I say, it keeps us lowly extra characters entretained, especially when they start trying to stick themselves in the fanfics and pair up with their favorite character. And boy, you should see some of the original characters that they come up with. There's this one story with the souls of all these women stuck inside a sword."
The man shook his head, muttered something that sounded like "L-sama save the fools from themselves," but the woman never got a chance to question him about it because he walked out of her store, and out of the town, wanting to tell his wife about the bizar love, er, sphere he had encountered.
I hope you guys are laughing, because this is in no way to be taken seriously. I even poked fun/plugged Fear in there, as well as my original intention when I wrote Slayers TRY And Then Some, which I have officially put on the hiatus. If you did take it seriously, gomen! I had no intention of stepping on any toes, I just wanted to poke fun at all us fanfic authors, myself included. And yeah, some of those "one sided love" stare things got confusing, and are majorly screwy, but it was fun. ^_^