In one of the numerous sitting rooms of her grandiose mansion, Lilas Talyze lay near idle with boredom. The rouge sat hanging off a velvet sofa with her dark curls tumbling over the edge and her feet resting on the back of it. In this curious position she sighed tossing one card after another into tattered old hat on the floor.
"What's taking those people so long? It's rather rude of them keep their hostess waiting for nearly a whole week!"
Lilas shuffled the remaining cards in the deck and found the ace of hearts. Plucking the card from the deck, she let out another sigh and flung it towards the hat. But before it could reach its final destination it collided with a pair of black boots, and fell to the ground.
"Oh! Master Lyes!" Lilas exclaimed as she scrambled to her feet.
"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything, but I was just wondering if..."
"...If Miss Inverse and her compatriots have arrived? No, not yet."
"That's odd. If I or one of my friends were in a similar predicament I'd..."
"...March straight to the villain's lair without delay?"
"Must you finish my sentences for me?!"
Lilas replied with only a pretentious grimace. Her attention then abruptly shifted from Lyes to the howling winds blowing through the open window on her left. Through the window a tiny yellowed leaf fluttered into the room and into her awaiting palms.
"I think we're about to have some company Master Lyes!"
"Are we there yet Lina?" whined Gourry.
Lina stopped immediately in her tracks, whipped around, and began yelling at him.
"For the last time Gourry, We're almost there...SO STOP ASKING ME ALREADY!!!"
"Actually Miss Lina, I think we really are here! Look!" Amelia cried pointing to the eerily quiet mansion in the distance.
"Oh. What do you know we ARE here! Let's all get going....Hey, where's Zel?"
"I'm over here and I'm not going one step further!" he huffed with his arms folded across his chest.
"Why's that Zel?"
"...Because I'm not going...into some demented bandit's house...looking like this! Zelgadis stammered holding the hems of his dress in his hands.
"Oh is that it? Don't you worry about that Zel! Once we knock the senses outta that rouge and her boss we'll head back Dragtini to get your stuff !"
"...That's easy for you to say Lina Inverse, you're not the one dressed in drag...or under some kooky curse, for that matter..."
"If that's how you feel, then I quess we'll just have to..."
"Go back to town?" asked Gourry.
"Nope...Just Keep going! Amelia! Gourry! Push!"
Lina, Amelia, and munchkin Gourry all got behind Zelgadis and pushed him clear through all the open gates and into the mansion's main hall. When the got inside the front doors, the stopped pushing Zelgadis and each of them gazed around at the elegant yet apparently empty setting.
"Its about time you stragglers showed up!" called a voice from atop the main hall's winding staircase.
Lina and the others looked to the top of the winding staircase to find the 'Kiss and Run Rouge' had been waiting for them. Lilas sat on one of the banisters with a hand cupped underneath her chin staring eagerly at the party. She was bedecked in a white blouse which underneath she wore a orange bodice-style vest embroidered with golden motifs, along with a pair sand colored pants, her carmine cloak, and her twin swords hung loosely around her waist. Without a further word, she slid down the railing, landing perfectly on her feet.
"So what took you guys so long to get here? I would have thought my directions were pretty straight forward"
"Listen Lady! We ran into a few detours on the way here and..."
"...I'd better tell you whom I'm working for...or else? To be honest with you Miss Inverse, I plan to take you straight to him. But you and only you...For I shall help to keep your friends entertained while you speak with him."
Uttering a command, Lilas then raised one of her gloved hands into the air causing four magic sigils to appear beneath each of her guests. With another wave of her wrist they all vanished without a trance from the hall.
"Now It's time to have some fun!" Lilas giggled disappearing into the shadows.
"Louie! I command you to cease what you are doing NOW!" shouted an obese chef waving a knife.
Louie, the wiry and rather annoyed assistant chef, sighed heavily and laid the cleaver down on the cutting board.
"What is it now, Master Chef Garrin?"
"How often have I told you that you are cutting the meat all wrong! You should cut it like so!"
Garrin hobbled over to his assistant's side, picked up the cleaver, and diced the cut of beef into numerous perfect bite-sized cubes. After he had finished he placed the sharp instrument back down on the board and began barking insults at Louie.
"Only an imbecile like yourself could continually try my patience! You see? The meat should look like so! Now you try it again...and this time do it right you buffoon!"
With much hesitation, Louie took back the cleaver and carefully started to dissect the remaining cut of beef into cubes when he felt a sudden jolt of pain to the back of his head. He turned swiftly about and glowered at his Master as he once again yelled at him.
"NO! NO! NO! You are still doing it all wrong! What are trying to do? Drive me crazy? How do you ever expect to be a great chef if you cannot even mange to cut meat into cubes!"
"WHAT!? Now you see here you living tub of lard! My cubes are just fine the way they are!"
"Nonsense! Mine are perfect! However yours are flawed. Notice the corners are not quite parallel like mine are." Garrin said rather matter-of-factily.
"ARRGHH! I've had with your obsessive perfectionism and elitist attitude! You can find yourself another assistant, because I quit!" screamed Louie as he stormed out the kitchen tossing his apron and hat onto a pile of yellow hay as he left.
Realizing that his only remaining assistant chef had finally left him, Garrin then went into panic and paced rapidly around the kitchen. Then Master Chef tore his hair in frustration and cursed loudly.
"Dammit! What am I to do! Without at least one assistant to aid me I will be unable to finish the feast for this evening in time!"
"Did you say feast?" spoke a voice coming from the hay.
Garrin turned his head around to find Gourry sitting in the stack of straw, staring at him. Upon seeing the lad he rushed over to him and begged for his help.
"Yes, you heard right! I am making a feast for this evening and I need your help to finish it in time! I beg you...please help me!"
"Okay!" he smiled putting on the discarded Chef's hat and apron.
When Gourry was done dressing, Garrin steered him toward a towering table on the other side of the room and instructed him to make a dessert of his liking. Gourry then hopped up onto one the chairs, and not knowing what to make, glanced through a nearby cookbook until one of the recipes caught his eyes. The flaxen haired grabbed a sliver mixing bowl and threw in it: ten sticks of butter, four tablespoons of salt, a gallon of milk, six teaspoons of vanilla, and a dozen eggs. He gave the mixture several quick stirs before dumping into a special pan and shoving it into a preheated oven. But just as soon as he placed in oven, the mixture began to rise rapidly and threatened to overflow out of the oven.
"Hey Mr. Garrin! I think that 'Ten Pound Sueflay' I was working on is done!"
"Omigod! What have you done!" Garrin cried when he watched endless wave upon wave of golden soufflé batter spill forth from the oven.
Garrin hiked through the mess and quickly doused the stove with a pail of water, causing the ooze to stop its hasty advance. Little Gourry simply stood there and scratched his head until he noticed a very unfriendly expression forming on Garrin's face.
"What in Ciepheed's name did you do? Garrin growled lunging at Gourry.
Gourry made an unsuccessful dash for the exit, but was snared by the lumbering giant's grasp.
"That'll be enough of that Garrin. I hired you to cook, not to throttle small children. So be a darling and kindly put the boy down."
"Mistress Lilas! I didn't hear you come in!
The chubby chef promptly dropped Gourry and he landed on the 'Sueflay'batter-covered floor with a splunk. Lilas pulled him from the goo and cast a sleep spell on him before he had a chance to run away.
"It seems that you've had quite the trouble with assistants today Garrin." noted the rouge as she left the room carrying the slumbering child in her arms.
"Ouch! That really hurt!" yelped Amelia
Amelia had just crashed face-first into row of shrubs in the courtyard gardens just outside the mansion. The princess picked herself up from the ground and brushed the dirt and pieces of shrubbery from her outfit.
"Hmm...It looks like I'm in some sort of garden...and alone too. I wonder where Miss Lina and the others have been sent?"
Curious about the fate of her companions, Amelia began to stroll along one of the cobblestone paths in the courtyard. She walked by all kinds of exotic plants and flowers, occasionally stopping to sample their scents, until she heard an odd sound coming from a nearby fountain. So Amelia drooped the bloom that she was admiring last and took a look into its rippling surface. Gazing into the pool, she spied many sheets of paper floating on top of the water. Amelia then scooped several of the letters from the fountain and read them aloud.
To Fairest Damsel In All The Land,
Please say that ye will become my princess. I hold no other so dear to my heart as thee. Thou would make me the happiest man of all time. I await your answer my dearest Lady.
One who is spellbound by your beauty,
Prince Todius
To My Dearest Love,
I must know why thou hast forsaken me so? Do I not love thee more than anything in all creation? Has some other handsome prince captured your heart? Please, I beg thee do not leave me to die heart broken.
The one whom pledges his eternal love to thee,
Prince Todius
"Love letters? I wonder who wrote them and who they were addressed to? Perhaps If I just read another..."
Amelia fished another letter from the fountain and read it intently.
To His So-Called Majesty, Prince Todius,
I telling you for the final time, leave my property now or suffer my unholy wraith! To think I'd even consider touching a slimy, disgusting, and not to mention loathsome creature such as yourself! Hah! I've never heard such a joke before! And further more, cease and desist in sending me more of your pathetic letters! I'm sick having to return them to you!
Sincerely,
Lilas Talyze
"How sad this is! To think some kind prince is in love with a enemy of justice!"
Amelia then vaulted into her usual justice shtick, making her typical 'smashing the villain with the hammer of justice' speech, when she again noticed noises coming from beneath the water. "What wondrous voice doest speak to me? Tis it the fair maiden Lilas? Please say that thou hast come back to me!" the voice croaked from under the waves.
Peering into the pool for the second time, Amelia reeled back in horror to find a pair of yellow slited eyes staring back at her. As she stumbled backwards, a giant frog sporting a cape and a crown leapt from the fountain. The slimy creature turned it thick neck side to side looking for Lilas, but found a frightened young girl sprawled on the ground instead.
"Oh Dear! It seem that I have caught thee offguard! My sincerest apologies for doing so m'lady."
The frog bowed his head to Amelia and then helped her back to her feet.
"Thank you Sir...But may I ask whom you are?"
"Why certainly my dear! I am his royal highness, Prince Todius."
"WHAT?! You're the one who wrote all those letters? But you don't look like a prince at all!"
"Alas and alack! Tis what all the fair maidens doth tell me when I reveal my identity!"
Todius sniffled a few times before erupting into a cascade of tears. Amelia, feeling much remorse over what she had said, handed the prince a handkerchief. He took the scrap of cloth from her and loudly blew his nose with it.
"Thank you...But I seem to be at loss for your name..."
"Oh..I'm princess Amelia of Seiryuun!"
"Thou art a princess?! If that rings true, then may I ask a favor of thee?"
"Sure! what can I do to help?"
"Would thou kiss me?"
"K..K...KISS YOU?!" Amelia blurted, taking many steps back until she found her back to a tree.
"Please say thou will! If thou doest, I will turn into a true prince and we can live happily ever after!"
Prince Todius hopped over to the cornered princess, puckered his slimy lips, and attempted to kiss her. Fortunately for Amelia, she was swiftly pulled out of harm's way by a pair of gloved hands.
"Miss Lilas? You...saved me?"
"Yeah, I quess I did."
"Ah! Lilas, thou hast finally returned to me!"
The frogprince turned about to kiss Lilas, only to find his advance halted by a fist to his face.
"How many times have I told you that I'm not interested in a slimeball like you! Now I'll tell you one last time, leave my estate or I will be forced to remove you by force!"
"I will do no such thing till one of ye fair ladies doest kiss me!"
"So If one of us were to kiss you you'd leave. If that's the case, then I quess you're the lucky girl Princess! Go get him!"
With that, Lilas got behind Amelia and shoved the girl headfirst into the awaiting prince's face. But when their lips did meet, instead of turning into a prince, Todius was instead transformed into a frog. Amelia, overcome with both shock and disgust feinted backwards into Lilas's arms.
"I quess I should thank you princess, for saving me trouble of having knock you myself...and for helping to rid this place of Todius too!"
Deep within a secret laboratory, Zelgadis combed through a enormous stack of musty old books, looking for a way to undo the curse cast upon him. Turing page after page, he searched for an answer, but the texts yielded not a one. Mentally exhausted from absorbing so much information, Zelgadis slammed the book he was reading shut and allowed his thoughts to wander as he went around the room examining the various jars and bottles set out on the tables. He couldn't help but wonder why a curse that seemed to be cast in order to weaken his spells and strength, also gave him back his original form.
"It isn't very polite to go rummaging through other peoples things, you know."
"You! Where did you come from?
"From tending to your friends, ofcourse! I'm sorry you can't be with them right now, but when I saw you earlier today, I knew that I just had to get you all to myself!"
"Really? Do you mind me asking why?"
"Because I wish to ask you something...rather personal, and I don't think I could ask you if everyone else was around."
At that moment, Zelgadis was starting to feel somewhat uncomfortable standing in the same room as Lilas. She took a step forward and scooped up a hair ornament he had lost and with little regard to his discomfort, walked right up to him and fixed it back in his hair.
"...And what would that be?" inquired Zelgadis, who's face was flushed red with embarrassment.
"Would you... please consider....selling me that dress your wearing? Its a Madame Buluma original, and I simply must have it!" she exclaimed, with her hands fisted underneath her chin.
"You want to buy this?!"
"Of course I do! I mean, who wouldn't want to buy such a gorgeous gown! How about I give you two-hundred for it?"
"You've got to be kidding...!"
"OK! OK! Maybe I'm being a bit cheap offering only Two-hundred. How about five-hundred?"
"This is ridiculous!"
"Still not satisfied? By the gods you drive a hard bargain! Alright here's my final offer, A thousand gold plus a gown equal to its value from my own collection!"
"Sorry...I'm not interested!"
Fed-up with dealing with the crazed bandit Zelgadis launched a Digu Volt at Lilas hoping to catch her of guard. But as soon as the bolt came into contact with the rouge, it was absorbed by a golden aura that instantly appeared at impact. Zelgadis stared at her in astonishment. Unlike his encounter with Madame Buluma's servants, he actually managed to cast a spell successfully, and yet it dealt no damage to his opponent.
"Well! That wasn't a very nice thing to do, now was it? I quess Paladras was right, the natural ability to absorb wind shamanism without batting an eye, is pretty useful."
"Absorb Wind Shamanism? Then that means you're a..."
"That's right...a Sylph. But if you're not going to sell me that dress of yours, I quess you'll just have to join yours friends! Diem Wind!" Lilas declared, shooting a an extremely powerful column of wind from her palms.
An insanely strong gust blew through the room lifting Zelgadis clear off his feet and slamming him into the far wall. The fierce winds knocked over the shelves and bookcases around Zelgadis, burying him in an avalanche of Laboratory equipment and books. Upon seeing all the damage she had done, Lilas clapped a hand over her face and bowed her head in shame.
"Lighting!" shouted Lina.
Raising the illuminated sphere into the air, Lina turned her head around to survey the room she was in. wherever she was, it was too large a room to be completely lit by her spell. Tired of staring at the same corner she wandered about the room till she found a double bolted door.
"Good. I found a way out of here. Its probably locked so I'll just use one of my spells to blow it open! Dam Brass!"
Lina formed red ball of light between her hands and threw it at the sealed doors. But strangely enough the doors opened to let the spell pass and the orb ripped a hole through a wall outside.
"Huh? Alright, now's my chance!" Lina exclaimed, running towards the open doors.
Excited to have found a exit so quickly, Lina dashed for the doors only to find that they had slammed shut. Unable to stop in time she collided with the doors and then flew into a rage.
"What kind of joke is this? Maybe if I try to do it a little faster..."
Lina tried again and again, but met with failure on each effort she made.
"Well, I quess I'm stuck in here until somebody gets here and opens the door from the outside."
Both battered and bruised from the unsuccessful attempts at freedom, Lina went back to a couch she had passed earlier and sat down. Lina stretched her arms into the arm and yawned. She found herself thinking about Lilas and who was supporting her. For some strange reason, Lina felt that she had met her before somewhere else. Something about her looks and the sound of her voice struck a chord in Lina's memory, one that she couldn't quite place. Lina's thoughts were then interrupted by the sound of a door opening. Without a thought, Lina sprang from the sofa and hurled a fireball at the figure holding a candlelabra and ran for the exit. The mysterious figure dodged the attack and Lina once again crashed into the door.
"I see you're persistent as ever, Miss Lina." said the man holding the candlelabra.
Lina caught sight of the man's face in the candlelight and stared dumfounded at him.
"Hallis...is that you?"
HI YA!
Sorry this took so long! My life's been kinda chaotic lately, and I've had a serious case of Writer's Block to boot... but hopefully you'll find it was worth the wait! (...Or at least I hope you will.) You guys all remember Hallis don't you? In case you forgot, Hallis is that guy from episode fifteen of the first series who wanted Lina to help him get a sorceress off his back by faking a wedding. By the way, the next chapter of this fic will most likely be the last of the series.ok? OK! As always, I'm happy to hear any comments, questions or suggestions anybody has. So if you just email at (Chmielam@sacadem.sunyerie.edu) I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
SEE YA!
Angie C. aka 'Explosion Goddess Lina'
Chapter 5 | Fanfiction