This was a hard story for me to write. The purpose of this story was to help me deal with my mind's own twisting of reality. Among other things it's been doing to me, my mind has a habit of making me forget bad memories. This is helpful, until the regressed memories return. shudders in honest fear But recently, my mind has taken upon itself to do away with all my memories, even my good ones, which has been most inconvenient. So, like Lian, I must learn to deal with the reality of the situation.
Lian closed her eyes and withered. Her tiny frame crumpled to the floor and she was unconcious again.
The sounds of clanging metal and smell of spilt blood assaulted her nose. Weakly, she opened her eyes and peered out into the blurry, but familiar landscape. Before her, Gregory was in a battle with a large troll, and Emily was sending out spell after spell to ward off the enemies. She was home!
But it was not really home, Lian assesed. This was her mind, again refusing to deal with the situation. Upon remembering Zero, she had transported herself back to the false sanctuary she had created.
This time however, it could not protect her. Every detail of her real life had become vivid in response to Emily's seven words. Every piece of the puzzle Zero had created for her had come together. But the cardboard edges of the puzzle pieces were fraying, having a harder time sticking together. How easy it would be to forget again... Here, she was powerful. Sure, she had to constantly fight for her life, but this world was filled with riches, with power, with mystery... another 'with' came to her mind and she choked it back. The reason she wanted to stay had nothing to do with being with Zero. It didn't. She knew it did, of course, but she would not admit it.
Emily's yelp brought her attention back to the battle before her, letting her leave the one if her heart temporarily. Perhaps that's what these battles were representative of... Her team mates were having a terrible time against this particularily aggressive group of trolls... no wait, these were ogres. Of course theye were having problems!
Weakly, Lian forced herself up. She wondered if she could still cast spells. Anxiously, she tried to invoke the goddess, but quickly chided herself for forgetting that Wicca did not exist in this world. Her knew-found memories were already creating a nuisance for her.With any luck she had retained the knwoledge of use of her sword, and prayed quickly that it was something like basketball.
She lunged herself into the battle, much to the joy of her companions, but sadly found that the sword did not handle like a basket ball. However, the strange tactics of defense such she had learned from the sport were confusing her opponents. Lian hoped Enily would think quickly enough to take advantage of the ogres' uncertainty. Emily did not, but ogres fell anyway, victim to someone elses spell. How she prayed it had been the work of Xavier.
Turning from the battle scene, she found her prayers unfounded. Zero stood before her, in all his battle worn glory. His face and hair reflected the light like an angel, yet he was still a monster. One could not be sure of what he truly was in that moment. Lian quickly realized the reason her mind had picked this guise for him. Bastard...
Enily bounded up on a tree. "Take that you enemies of justice! You have learned not to attack innocent travelers and- WOAH!" Emily fell uncerimonously to the ground.
Blinking it off, Lian walked quickly to her cape, which she had left behind when had woken up. Rifling through the belongings she had stashed in there, she soon came across a health and power promoting drink. She pondered the signicance of it briefly, and upon tasting the liquid, assessed it as Gatorade. Even her subconcious was subject to advertisements.
"Lina! I'm so glad you're okay! We were so worried when Xelloss accidently hit you with his staff and you went unconcious! Even Xelloss felt really bad about it."
"Good." Lina said, not unkindly. Her cruel thoughts were all focused on the man staring at her back, watching every curve of her body. She wondered why she had never noticed where his gaze fell the last time she had been here, for it was certianly obvious now.
Gregory grinned and checked her over. "Hey Lina! That bump on your head from Xelloss' staff is the same size as your breasts!"
Lian checked her breasts and indeed, they had again shrunked. "Really? I equated more with the size of your manhood." Lian quickly checked herself, remembering due to her friends shocked faces that she had refrained from her loose manner of speech the last time she had been here.
"Miss Lina...? Are you allright?"
"Yes. Better. I had a... revelation... while I was unconcious. Remind me, where were we headed again?"
"Um... we were headed to go liberate a treasure from a group of bandits... are you sure you...?"
"I'm fine, E...Amelia. However, there will be a change in course now. We're going to Sairogg."
Zero groweled. "Lina, you can't dicatace this mission. There was the possibilty of a cure at that camp."
"You were mistaken." The cold tone in her voice caught Zero off gaurd and stifled his retort. "I believe your cure is in Sairogg, and so is mine."
"So it's sickness that makes your breats so small?"
"Much similiar to the impotence disease that keeps you so small, Gourry."
This shut Gregory up, not used to having a response other then being hit. He even looked mildly disapionted at having not evoked such a reaction. She mused briefly about weather or not Gregory was also a masochist, before leading the group in a direction that she really hoped was the right way.
Lian eased herself into the private tub, and gazed up at the blank ceiling. Xavier, feeling very guilt for the accident had offered to pay for Lian to have a room to herself. This suited Lian just fine, as she needed some time to think. She had to leave this world, an it seemed the only way to do so was to deal with the situation. Upon doing that, this world would ismply cease to exist.
This presented a small problem, however. During their treck to the inn, Lian found herself rowing acclimatized again, and her memories of her true self fading at a steady rate. Unless she kept the memories at the forefront of her mind, it would not be the least bit shocking for them to be repressed completely. An easy enough solution, except for the fact that Lian did not want to think about them. She rally would just like to forget all about Zero... maybe fall in love with the one here, he had never hurt her.
But the remberence of the gaze Zero had fixed on her the entire walk here reminded herself she only did not know this one becuase they had never been close enough, or alone enough. And that part demon nature was definatley worrying her.
Zero had seemed much like this one had when she first met him, during a basketball tournament in grade eight. It had been a co-ed tournament, much to Lian's joy. She hated being called good... for a girl. Beating boys at what they believed to be their own game had the satisfaction to it similair to finally swatting the fly that had been buzzing around you for weeks.
Zero had been in the last round of the championship and Lian teamed with Xavier, against Zero teamed with a red-haired boy named Lorenzo had kept the entire game nothing to nothing. They had gone into three overtimes, and still there was no success. The judges were completely frustarted, as neither captain wanted to stop playing until a winner had been decided. Neither side would accept a draw.
So it was decided that a one on one game would commence. The opposing school, St. Shabranigdo , picked Zero to be their man. Night Maria, her time, had picked her. They stood on the court, staring each other down. Both had the honed finesse of a warrior, and passion for the game. Both had skill, and were willing to play till they knocked themselves unconcious, and to keep going on even then. Both were battered and bruised from running into walls to block balls, and both knew they were equally matched. It was really a matter of luck now. The first one to score a basket would take the championship.
Then the forever seeming seconds melted into a blur as the ball was dropped and the two played with a fury. Zero played coldly, an icy determination guiding his moves. Lian played like a hell-fire, a building flame scorching her with zeal.
In the first few moments they were enemies, angry and ruthless. But each move brought the otehr to respect each other, and neither had scored a basket and they were already rivals. Then Zero's hand twisted when reaching for the ball, and Lian felt a ache in her gut. Zero stole the ball and scored the basket before Lian doubled over in pain. The refs gave Lian two foul shots, which she scored, and won the game. But Lian felt that the victory was not deserved, and her spirits were not high as she accepted the trophy.
Afterwards, Zero approached her. He apologized smoothly, claiming an accident, sweetly telling her that she had deserved to win the game becuase of it. This is only made Lian feel more guilt though, and in hindsight Lian realized that Zero was very aware of this. Then he asked for her number, and Lian, feeling less then dirt at her ill achieved victory easily gave it out, despite the fact that she had little interest in a boyfriend at present.
Zero had smiled earnestly, and walked away.
Lian shook her head in pain, and wiped the tears from her face. This had been why things had so easily forgotten the last time. Memories like these were hard to keep fresh in her mind. With trembling fists she emerged from the now cold water and threw herself into the bed, eager for the relief sleep might bring.
The next morning the sky was chalky grey color, and Lian regarded this change in weather as a signal of sorts. She had never before encountered unsettled weather during the day in this world before. Somehow, it seemed the landscape was changing, and becoming more like her world. This was a welcome change, despite the fact that rain might soon be joining them.
Lian's eyes fell on her clothes with distaste. The horrible combination of magenta a yellow was a varient of her team uniform's purple and gold. Both color sets were unpleasant to the eye, and Lian went about fixing her outfit. Emerging later in a pair of red jeans and yellow tank top she had found in the cape, Lian went down to eat breakfast. She quickly realized a problem. They would quickly become suspect of her toned down appeite, for while Lian did have once considered large in her world, it seemed like a light snack compared to her previous eating habits in this one. Sitting down, Lian was struck with an idea. So far, Lady Luck had seen fit to help her out.
When her companions were looking at her meager order, she vroke out her lie. "I woke up in the middle of the night and had a snack. I'm still pretty full from it." With any luck, since this was her mind, she would be able to control weather or not they believed her. It had worked, and she ate in peace. Except for Zero's gaze.
The problem with wearinga nicer outfit was that since people weren't paying attention to the oddness of it, they were distracted by the good things. Lian was small chested, but her body was not unattractive. And Zero had noticed this. She toyed with the idea of controlling like she had the others, but really, he was the catalyst for this world, and doubted she could change him until she changed herself.
Zero asked a few questions about this cure Lian believed was in Sairaag, but she answered cold and mechanichly, so Zero fell silent. Gregory too was quiet, but merely to avoid the sharpness of Lian's tongue. Her words were much stronger then her punch, and he did not want to invoke her wrath. Xavier was still subdued from having hit her, wondering her change in attitude was hif fault. Only Emily spoke unhindered, but she said nothing of interest. This trned continued as they left he inn and started walking, so Lian quickly found herself drifting back into her memories.
A few days after the championship, Zero had called her. This surpirsed Lian immensly, as she was under the impression that boys were incapable of calling promptly. Shaken by this irregulaity, she had agreed to meet him at the movie theatre with thinking. But this was harmless enough, it was a basketball movie so both would have their attention on the action, and so Lian had few qualms when she arrived.
She was slightly late, having felt the need to primp at least a little. She had overdone it a bit, her eyeshadow was much too heavy, and the conflicting hairspray and perfume indicated her inexperience with matters, but seemed to neither notice or care. She was thrilled that he offered to pay, even for her snack. Normally she would have refused such a getsure, but Zero made it very hard to say no. That fact should have stuck out like a red flag, but Lian only caught in hindsight. Zero had her around his fingers from the first meeting.
The movie went excellently, and the went out together on a regular basis. Things went splendidly, despite Zero's somewhat dominant attitude. Lian had a controlling personality herself, so was not alerted by this. Nor was she concerned by his jealous streak, she had figured all men were this possesive, and hey, with a girl like her, who could blame him?
It wasn't until their first kiss that Lian was even slightly concerned about his intentions. The had been holding hands up to that point, which Lian didn't mind. They were sitting on Lian's front porch when Zero moved intowards her face. Lian was nervous and definatey unsure about weather or not to let him do this. But saying no to Zero was becoming increasingly difficult, so she had let him. The kiss was rough and not gentle. There was something cold and selfish about it. He kissed to much the first time, and his hands went to low and too high while he did so. Lian was very uncomfortable, but said nothing. Her mouth was a little sore afterwards, but eased it a popsicle. She shrugged it off. Since this was her first kiss, she figured that was the way the actually were, and she decided she had to work to get rid of silly sensitivity. She later found from kissing Xavier that kisses were not painful or uncomfortabe, but warm and gentle.
Things continued from there, with Zero becoming increasingly bold, and Lian finding it increasingly hard to say no. She was not enjoying the amount of sexual activity and soon became reluctant to talk to anyone about it. Her other friends worried as she became withdrawn.
But Zero had never actually hurt her, except during the first basketball game, so up to that point all the discomfort had been her fault. Up to there she could not blame Zero, for she never told him what she felt about all the kissing.
Lian sighed and let her head droop. It was becoming increasingly apparent that she had brought this pain on herself. Had she backed out the first time his actions had distressed her, she would have avoided the following year of pain.
Looking ahead of her at the elegant landscape of this world, the wonderous peace this land had equipped her with, she again became tempted to abandon her memories. Why bother? Provided she didn't get hit again, she could remain here, blissfully unaware of the pain.
But this time Zero's gaze did her well. The way his eyes were currently trailing over her legs, Lian knew that if she forgot the truth, she would end up with this Zero, and suffer the pain all over again. And she doubted she coud escape from an imaginary world to another one. She would be trapped, and worse off. Her only option really was the get back home. Lian shivered under his gaze, and walked on, before something caught on her mind. Zero was distressing her sith his sexual attentions like he had before. This time, she was going to say something. "Zel, I know my beuatiful legs are very distracting, but could you refrain from oggling them? Thank you."
Zero turned a furious red and looked away. Lian smiled grimly, and walked on. She hoped that would keep his stares at bay. It certaintly had distracted the othrs, who were staring at Zero. Especially Xavier who had recently popped up, retrning from Mazoku business. He fized a proective glare on the chimera, and Lian wondered if she was really much safer with the Mazoku general than Zero himself. Both were represneted as demons in this world, agents of evil.
Hoping she would not have to defend herself from either, Lian set about locating the nearest inn, hoping her rebuttal to Zero's stares would compensate thinking about the unpleasent events for the remainder of the day.
Lian awoke to early to get out of bed, and sadly devoted herself to another mental reminder.
Lian, in an effort to do something with Zero other then make out, got up the courage to suggest they played a game of basketball. Zero eagerly agreed, for he seemed to enjoy the sport more then he did feeling Lian up. Yet Lian regretably found out that it was not the game itself that was Zero's main source of pleasure, but winning it.
Lian was near winning, they had remained scoreless for nearly an hour, but Zero was tired at Lian had the advantage of having a reason for not stopping playing. But Zero would not have her win. he would not lose. Again a punch in the gut, seeming far to uncoincedntal. He snatched the ball and scored, then apologized again profusely for his accident.
Lian had forgiven him, but after that Zero was increasingly accident prone. Everytime Lian tried to assert herself, Zero would accidently trip her, or throw something at her, or hit her. Yet his apologies were constant, and soon became coupled with compliments and declerations of love. Lian let herself be fooled, not wanting to believe that love could be professed falsely.
Again, it really was her fault. She should have left then, she have gotten help, should have at least voiced her pain. But she never did, and each day grew increasingly sore, and increasingly dependant on the compliments Zero gave her after each accident.
Lian stumbled out her bed, determined that if Zero even thought of ooking at her today, she'd give him what for. She would not let herself be trampled again. Passion replaced her weakness, and walking over to the mirror, she found a shock. The redness of her eyes had decreased to a pleasent burgundy, her wisps of hair were lightly curled, and she was certain her breasts were bigger. It was raining outside too. Knowing she was on the right path, she ran happily out of her room.
She sat down at the inn table with mild surprise. The others too had changed. The differences were tiny enough that theyw ouldn't notice, but Lian could tell. Emily probably just thought she was having a bad (good?) hair day, as her was pleasanlty flatter. Gregory's hair was getting shorter, as was Xavier's. His eyes wee closed, but he often opened them momentarily while he partook in the conversation. But Zero remained relentlessly the same. She had changed herself and thus the others, but had failed to successfully warp him.
Lian realized that by ignoring Zero she was not getting herself anywhere. So when the conversation reached a lull, she turned to her antagonist. "Zel, I've never really known your opinion on the matter. What do you think about Koppii science?" It might be best to keep the conversation intellectual. She didn't emotional issues were not her fortay at the present time.
"Why?"
Well, nothing guaranteed he would be co-operative. Lina started to shrug, to let it go, but a sudden flash of something made her stand her ground. "I'm merely bored with this mundane talk of comparing inns, and felt like engaging in a political discussion, If you're not up to it, however..."
This Zero, like his counterpart, would not stand down a challenge from her. "I am. I was only asking why to asses you standing on the matter."
"Of course." Lian noted with distaste that Zero had slipped into intellewctual bravado, hoping to shy her away from the topic so he would win the discussion by default. This tactic had worked on her before, and she grew bolder with each ticking of the hands on the inn clock. "My standing is this. I am opposed. I feel it is wrong to tamper with the human life in such a manner."
"I fear I agree with you, so this will not make for a lively debate."
Lian shrugged, hiding the grinding of her teeth. He was trying to make this difficult. "Very well. Then I shall take the side opposite my beliefs to create the liveliness."
Lian could see Zero shudder. He had not been expecting this, as in both worlds Lian had tended to hide her intellectual side. Without it she never would have learned magic and myths at the rate she did, but people often overlooked that fact when experienceing her hair-trigger tempered, spunky personality.
"All right. I am against it because I know from experience that tampering with the form and life through such means causes devastating effects on the person these experiments are done on."
"But, chimeras and Koppiis are distinctly different. A chimera tampers with the life of the human being, changing it permenatley so it will never be the same again. Koppiis on the other hand, have no real effect on the person it Koppiis. They are able to continue with their everday functions, and a new life has also been created."
Zero stumbled across her words for a moment, before continuing. "But if a Koppii and the original co-existed, the Koppii would want to have part in the life if believed in remembered. And if they did not co-exist, the Koppii would negatliively interfere with the lives of the loved ones of the deceased original, as Koppii Rezo did with Eris."
"Not nessecarilly. We have no idea what Rezo had intended to do with Eris when her usefullness was up. Also, this is not a certafiable case since the Koppii had a controlling spell upon it immediatly after it was created. As for the first point though, I do see the problem that presents. Therefore, I change my stand point. I am not against Koppiis of a deceased person."
"You can't do that!" Zero sounded like he was whining.
"I can. You changed my mins partially, congratulations." She watched him swell with pride. "However, you will find yourself hard-pressed to convert me fully. Also, since you do not argue with my points, you must see them as valid. Therefore, I have also partially changed you mind, have I not?"
Zero looked ready to argue, but finding he did not have a suitable argument, he shut his mouth and looked away with disdain. "This is a foolish argument, as you do not really believe the side you are arguing."
"You're just upset becuase you lost." The comment was childish, but correct.
"I am not!" Zero was quickly getting angry, and Lian nearly backed down, fearing another accient. But she steeled herself and listened to his anger. "You are being unbelieavbly immature!"
"How? I have not raised my voice, but you have. I am content to discuss this in a civilized fashion, while you, it apears, are unable to."
Zero trembled with rage, and suddenly Lian felt her skull break. It hadn't really broken, but the force of Zero's slap felt like it. She held her face in her hand as she watched Zero storm out of the room. Xavier was glowing with fury, but Lian held him back. "This is my problem to deal with. Don't concern yopurself with it."
"He hit you. I won't allow that."
"You will not allow physical harm to me, yet you will partake in the phsycilogical harm that would be caused to me if you made it appear that I was not strong wnough to handle my own battles?"
Xavier stared at her surprised and Lian let her intellectual side take a break. It was time for the emtions to come out.
Lian waited patiently on her bed, knowing Zero would soon be there to apologize for his miconduct. He always had in the past.
It was some time after the accidents started that Lian got up the bravery to ask Zero to play another game of basketball. She was used to the accidents now, and felt she could handle. Besides, nothing could ever curb her love for the game. So the two played again. While weakened from an earlier accident that morning, Lian cheerfully used the sport to relieve her built up tension, easily making up for the pain with some energy to spare. This soon gave her the advantage and Zerodidn't even get in a chance to acciedntly hurt her. She scored a basket. She scored again soon after, and Zero was turning red from anger. He insulted her playing coldly, not even trying to mask his cruelties as teasing like he normally did. Angered by this, Lian played even harder, sinking in one more basket.
But Zero was livid. Frustration to anger to fury built up inside of him, and suddenly he whirled around and slapped her square in the face. She fell to the ground and watched shocked as Zero stormed away.
Feeling guilty for some reason, like it had been her fault Zero had hit her, she didn't return home right away or tell anyone what had happened. Instead, she dispeared to the tree she called Flagoon now, and cried under it. Zero found her, as this was the place she most commonly went when she was upset. He apologized, bringing her a gift this time. The roses were beautiful, and she had quickly forgiven him. That was the biggest mistake she had ever made in her life.
After that, Lian found herself with an ever expanding collection of jewellry that coincided with her ever expanding collection of bruises.
Lian was not going to make that mistake again. Zero would pay for it this time. She steeled her will, and answered the knock she heard against it. Zero entered into the room somberly, a bouquet of roses in his hand. Lian was nearly ill from the grief, but she held her place.
"I'm so sorry, Lina. I lost it back there. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't believe I did that. Why I would be upset to be defeated by someone as intelligent as you, I have no idea. I hope youll forgive me."
Lian idly took the bouquet from his hand. What if he meant it this time? What if it really wouldn't happen again. Lian nodded. "Sure..." She watched Zero leave, then banged her head violently against the wall. Things had been going so well! Why had she fallen though? Why?! She should run after him and yell at him, she should go out there and kick the shit out of him, or better yet let Xavier do it. But all she did was sink to the floor crying, the red roses in her arms. For all her bravery, she still wanted him.
Lian walked silently towards Sairagg. Her failure weighed heavily on her, and on the world. The skies had brightened, her breasts were smaller, and Emily's hair was exceptionally large today. It was all her fault. She had to make up for it.
Yet she couldn't bare to even look at Zero. Despite the trailing gaze he was giving her, she didn't even have to courgaw to tell him to stop. How much easier it would be to just let him win. To just hide in a ball, and do what he said. So long as she didn't displease him, no harm would come to her. Except his ideas of dipleasure changed spradically, so she was bound to end up victim to anotehr foul mood.
Lian had tried he tactic before. She did everything to please Zero after the first couple beatings. Everything. She felt dirty and ashamed everytime she thought of the things she had done to keep him from beating her. It probably actually counted as rape and not just abuse, she realized. But even in giving him that, he quickly grew dissatisfied, and Lian had to do more degrading things to get him a good mood again. He was moody and changeable, so Lian had to virtually learn tor ead his mind so she would know what he wanted, and she was till often wrong.
It seemed her had often hit her without having any reason at all, then making up an excuse of her doing some wrong-doing later.
And she put up with it. She was afraid of him, but she was even more afraid of losing him. She felt guilty every time he had accused of doing something wrong. She became desperate for the compliments he used to pay her when he had hit her. Now they came with a casual 'sorry', or nothing at all.
Lian looked over at Zero and snapped. "Zelgadis, I told you to stop mentally undressing me."
Zero was abashed, but he looked more angry then embaressed. "Sorry."
"You're not, you're still doing it. Not don't do it anymore."
Now he was embaressed, but Lian could quickly see that turning into anger. She extended and arm and placed her hand on Gregory's sword. "My battle, Gourry."
The swordsman nodded gravely, understanding the honor involved in the situation better then Emily or Xavier. "Good luck."
She smiled. It may be her battle, but her friends were by her side. This time though, she wouldn't be rescued. This time she would only have them there as encouragment.
Last time Xavier had rescued her. Normally Zero only hurt her in places no one could see, but he had lost his sense the night before and hit her on the face. Lulu had been out of town, so no one knew. To keep it secret, she stayed home from school that day. But Xavier, thankfully helpful, had decided to bring her textbooks to her.
He instinatley assessed that Zero had been beating her, noting that she hadn't be herself for several months. Lian had let her story out, and he swore to protect her. He was comforting her, and he kissed her on the cheeck as he left. Lian felt much safer, until Zero stepped out of his car.
Hell's fury shone in his eyes, having seen the kiss. Lian had tried to explain, but not a word got through Zero's head. He had tried to kill her that night, she was sure. The beating was incessent until the police arrived.
Zero was soon placed in jail, but his friends Dillon and Zeke tormented her constantly at school. As for herself, she had let Xavier help her deal with the pain.
Lian looked around the strange world that surrounded her, noting that obviously it wasn't enough. No, this time, she would be rescued. This time, she was going to win this battle herself, and she would not return to this place again.
Sairagg was now in view, and Silvia, whom they had alerted that they were coming, was running up the hill to meet them. Gingerly Lian stoof stood aside and whispered as she passed. "He's all yours."
Silvia turned a magnifcent shade of red before cuddling up to Gregory. Lian smiled. She didn't need a gaurdian anymore. She knew she could handle herself. She would not make anymore mistakes.
That night, after everybody had settled into Silvia's house, Lian called Zero out for a walk. Explaing she was going to show him his cure, she soon arrived at the base of where mighty Flagoon had once stood. She stopped to reminisce of the once beautiful surroundings, but Zero was increasingly impatient.
"Lina, you were going to tel me where my cure was?"
"That? Oh, I have it with me." It was not untrue. It just happened to be the cure he didn't know he needed. She watched his eyes glisten with anticipation, and for a moment exercised another fantasy about staying with him and forgetting the past. But it was a brief fantasy and this time her will stayed steeled. "Your cure comes at a price."
"What price is that? I'll pay anything Lina."
"I ask simply for you to listen to me."
He was comfused, but his jubilance at the idea of a cure held his attention riveted to her. "Okay."
"Zel, you are an amazing man. You have intelligence, speed, strenght, and powerful magic. You are handsome beyond belief, and yet attractively, you do not know it. You easily compel people do you will, at least, you do that me."
Zero smiled, and Lian realized she didn't like that predatory smile.
"I admit, all this has made me love you."
Zero did not let her finish her speech, but instead held her tightly and kissed her. "I love you to."
Lian nearly melted. She could feel her backbone turning into a bowl of jelly. But this kiss, this kiss wasn't like Xavier's, she reminded herself. This kiss, while filled with emotion, held in it promises. Promises of pain and eventual demise. Realizing this, she pushed him back.
"Let me finish. Yes, getting to know you has made me love you. But as I've gotten to know you, I've found other things. You are insenstive to others feelings. You are not above hurting or maniuplating people to get what you want. You are violent and selfish, an you do not learn from your mistakes. You blame everybody else when you are the only one to blame. You commit crimes, but the devil made you do it. I love you, Zer - Zelgadis, but I am also disgusted by you. I hate you, and I hate the fact that you make me weak." Her breath quivered and her whole body shook. "I still live you Zer - Zelgadis, and I probably will for a long time. But you cannot own me, you cannot hurt me, and you cannot change. I hate you, Zero, and I will till I die. Good bye, I shall not waste another moment on you."
And he vanished. And Sairagg vanished. And everything vanished into a sparkly white light until she recognized it as her living room ceiling.
Lian sat beside Flagoon Willow, and smiled. Beside her sat a boy named Valentine, her newest boyfriend. A lot of boyfriends had come and gone. Often she still thought Zero, but now the memories came without pain, but were there as something to be learned from. She did not need the sanctuary of another world as long as remembered not to give up.